Sunday, July 4, 2010

Communication or the Lack there of..

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” ~ George Bernard Shaw
That's the thing about life - learning to communicate properly, with full understanding of whether or not your message was heard and processed, is the hardest skill to learn.

Just last night, the egyptian and I clearly had some signals crossed. I was feeling and understanding one thing- he misinterpreted. Then he made a decision, and "announced" it to me. I reacted. He reacted. Then we both took a 4 hour time out and tried our best to understand.

I kept asking the same thing over and over, "Can you understand why I would feel this way? Can you see where I am coming from?"

Of course the answer was no.

Words are so powerful. We utter our thoughts, quite carelessly sometimes. When you are trying to communicate in a way that may not be your native language, sometimes the words come out completely wrong.

That could go for work also. Let's say you are a feeler and your manager is a thinker. (There of tons of tests out there to identify what type of communicator you are - just google it.) Clearly you may cross the wrong wires from time to time.

I am not sure if there is ever a solution to this. I am just working really hard on the one part I can control - the reaction.

If I had to describe myself - I would definitely say I am a reactor. No - this is not a good thing.

How do you communicate with your loved ones? What are the triggers that cross the wires and cause you to react?

It's a constant battle.. I am sure of it.


The Bipolar Diva said...

it is a battle and at simes can be so very frustrating.

Anonymous said...

I can be horrible at communicating. Especially if there's tension in the air. I don't know how to act seriously, and my mind tries to protect itself by having me laugh so I won't feel so awkward in the situation. But then that just makes me look like I'm a coward and don't know how to handle serious situations. It's a hard technique to learn, for sure. I'm trying to get better with my communication skills, though. Maybe I should take more speech classes...

Crystal Mary said...

When we first meet someone we see them through rose coloured glasses and are captivated by them. As time wanders on the glasses begin to slip and what was once cute becomes an annoyance...
So how do we continue to live in Wonderland?
I myself apply the Armour of God every day. With the Helmet of Salvation on my head, my thoughts don't run off in chaos and I don't become cheesed off with trivialities.
With the Breastplate of righousness to protect my heart, satans arrows don't strike and pearce! and I am not as sensitive..
We never see our own actions or hear the way we say things...
If we did, we would understand how we also wound others.
Be encouraged. Life is so short. Forgive and love. Communicate about the mountains and let the valley's fade away.
God bless you heaps..
With a big hug from Australia.

Foxy said...

Oh man, I think everyone knows this all too well. I feel that women, for the most part, are better communicators than men...again, for the most part. There are exceptions. I feel this way whenever I talk to my MIL. She's the laziest person I've ever met (doesn't have a job, kids are grown, she stays at home ALL day just playing around on the computer) but is always asking my husband and I to go pick up her special needs son from work, special olympics, etc. He once waited TWO AND A HALF HOURS for someone to come pick him up from work. I didn't have the car and no one else was home to take him. My MIL calls me and asks if Jake or I can pick him up... Uh, Jake's at work and we only have one car. Sorry. She had a car. So I asked her what she was doing and if anyone else could pick him up. Her response "Oh, well I had work from 12-3." Ummm...Brad (her son) needed to get picked up at's now didn't answer my question. BAH!! Sorry this was longer than I intended but the quote at the beginning of the post reminded me of this particular incident...and I'm long winded and have to tell every detail in a story :)

Also, I LOVE your comments on my blog. Always. In response to your last one, you only raised your eyebrows to some of those questions?? It didn't raise the hairs on the back of your neck?? Haha! Seriously weird stuff.


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