Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Strong Women

“I like being a strong, independent woman, and to be honest, I was never afraid to be on my own.” ~Dido

I thank God daily for the person he made me! Maybe it is vanity, maybe I am disillusioned.. but I have always genuinely liked myself. Regardless of the societal norm, regardless of what someone may actually say to me  or of me- I am okay with who I am.

I get very tired of apologizing for having a "strong" personality. To be perfectly honest, I LOVE being a strong, independent woman. It is simply the way I was wired.

I was discussing this "label" of mine with a friend taking a few classes in aromatherapy and aesthetics.. that perhaps it is not so much that I have a strong personality as perhaps my energy is strong. I feel. I taste. I question. I live.

One of the hardest things to do is to tame your spirit. I have tried and tried for years to come off more genteel, or pristine, or passive or calming or.. whatever. The truth is, I am a strong woman. I embrace my energy. I embrace my passion.

There are a ton of women out there that embody the qualities (personality wise) that I admire. Usually, when I select someone as a friend (and they are female), they will typically have a very "strong" personality. While I use that word strong, I want to make it completely clear that the word does NOT mean - angry, or bossy, or manipulative. I am talking women who are survivors, fighters, truth-seekers, or passionate. You can be all these things, without giving up your femininity or a smile. The difference is, we choose to be kind because it is a choice, not out of fear, or because we are told we should.

One of my biggest goals as a teenager was to be successful. To me - success meant that I was capable of taking care of myself, without the help of anyone else, and to be able to pursue my interests without any misgiving. I am not completely sure where this thought process comes from. It is not as if I grew up without a father. I did, and my parents are still together. My father was even the bread winner. It is not as if my father or mother beat me, so the need for physical protection was not ingrained in me. I did, however, grow up with a lot of "push" from very strong women in my life. Push to be the best.. and yes, that could wear any kid down.. but in the end, it did not dictate who I am.

I just knew I wanted to be able to take care of me. I wanted to do things my way. I wanted to pursue any interest I wanted. I wanted to love without any inhibitions. I want more than anything to be completely used up before I die. I want every ounce of my talent, every fiber of my being - to be used the way God intended.

I try so hard to expose myself to new ideas, new activities, new people. I wait for that one thing to "click" and then I embrace it and add it to my personality.

I think part of my struggle this year (that in the end strengthened me) was that I did indeed marry an arab. Who happens to be a devout muslim - who just so happens to believe in the traditional role of a wife. What is interesting is that the qualities of my independence is what was a draw for him. What I do like, is he taught me how to be me - and compromise, something that is not an easy concept for someone like me.

I am grateful and I am full of passion for life.

I am strong, and I refuse to apologize.

What about you? What label are you sometimes stuck with, and how do you embrace it??


Aimee said...

Hi!! Thanks for following me!!! I think uncensored is an understatement for me lol. my other blog, 'the moom that stayed sober' i really let it rip there.... lol so be prepared.... i'm not one of those people who really cares if the internet likes me or not but if they do, great! :)

truly though, thanks for following, and i'm following back!!! cute site, adorable family and can't wait to read more of ya!! :)

Aimee :)

Nicole said...

Thanks so much for "following" and stopping by! I am looking forward to your posts!

The Bipolar Diva said...

I don't think that there's a better way to be labeled than strong and independent! Yea you! Your confidence is contagious :)

Anonymous said...

I'm not one to settle in anywhere. I like going to new place, experiencing new things. Lots of people don't understand it. Hell, I barely understand it. I don't know if this makes me strong, but I know I'm extremely capable of adapting to just about anywhere. It's a gift.

Florida Girl Meets the Midwest said...

So I am IN LOVE with this post.

My fav: I am talking women who are survivors, fighters, truth-seekers, or passionate. You can be all these things, without giving up your femininity or a smile.

Amen, sister.

When I was a strong corporate career woman, I was endlessly accused of not being soft enough. And now that I am an aspiring writer and a wife, I am accused of not being smart/accomplished enough. Screw 'em all. My desire has always been to live both.

Nicole said...

Well said, Florida Girl!

Miel Abeille said...

I don't like it when I try something new and hear complaints about it. If Madonna and Cher and Britney can "reinvent" themselves, why can't I?

Nicole, your strength is one of the things I admire about you! Don't tame yourself!


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