Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Last night

I have made it to the final 24 hours. Yes, my dear readers - my egyptian returns tomorrow night at 7:39pm. I am thrilled beyond belief. I miss him - even his (sometimes) grouchiness - I miss it all.

Absence does make the heart grow fonder... and stronger.

I needed this.

I needed to feel independent again.

I needed to be able to make a decision by myself, without worrying about how it would affect the other person.

I needed to learn to be calm and patient with myself and with time.

I needed to learn to sit in absolute silence, and actually enjoy my own company.

I needed to cry with complete abandon.. about so many things.

I needed to pray - out loud.

I needed to talk to friends by phone, with censoring my speech (b/c I can be quite catty sometimes, and the egyptian frowns on my "sometimes" bitchy behavior.)

I needed to sleep completely spread out across the bed.

I needed to go to sleep with the tv on.

I needed to tear through a 1/2 gallon of ice cream in one weekend without feeling guilty. ;-)

I needed to be able to come in the door, whip my bra off and hang it on the dining room table chair.

I needed to let my stray hair sit on the sink  (while I am at work) after blow drying my hair in the morning.

I needed to be able to pay the bills when I wanted to, without being reminded daily.

I needed to be able to watch tv and play on the computer and talk on the phone all at the same time without someone saying, "If you aren't watching the TV - turn it off."

I just needed time.

The egyptian should literally be boarding the plane in Cairo now - headed for Rome. He will have a short layover, and an over night flight to Atlanta - with a few hours there. Then this time tomorrow night I will pick him up at the airport.

You guys know how I dreaded this trip for him. You know how I dreaded this trip for us. But it came, I survived, and I think.. maybe.. just maybe... we might be the "better" for it. ;-)

5 comments:

Leanne said...

My heart is smiling for you right now.

You did good. Real Real good.

:)

Jen G-son said...

Wow that was so quick!!!! I'm so glad that you got all of that out of your system and that in the end, you realized how good it was/is for you. I think he'll be happy to be home and way more relaxed too. Yay!

Robin said...

We never know that we need quality time with ourselves until we get it. Congratulations.

Yenta Mary said...

I loathe the Rolling Stones, but I can't help thinking that "Ya can't always get what you want, but you might just find you get what you need" .... Good luck tomorrow!!!

Laura said...

Boy - the time sure flew by (well, at least for me!) You definitely made the most of the time while he was gone. Good for you!

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