I chose to seek happiness and peace of mind this holiday season and it has payed off in ways I never could have imagined.
That leads me to the word of the year. This is something my dear friend, Leanne, at From Chaos Comes Happiness, encourages each year. It's a wonderful idea, and it honestly helps me to stay focused. In 2012, my word was Momentum. Looking back over that plan and the stories that followed, I am able to see how I kept loyal to the theme of the year and it has made all the difference.
Going back to my sheer bliss this Christmas season, my word for 2013 is:
1.obsolete: good fortune : prosperity
2.a: a state of well-being and contentment : joy
b: a pleasurable or satisfying experience
3.: felicity, aptness
I've held this theory, that when you are dreaming, your mind reveals your inner personality - the authentic you. People tell me all the time that I laugh in my sleep. I know for a fact that I have really "good dreams." I also believe that when you are intoxicated, your personality is amplified, and it just so happens that I am probably one of the happiest drunks you would ever meet. (However, I don't drink anymore.) ;-)
I used to be happy. I think I still am, if not a little cynical - though I believe that is just my dry wit and humor, and it is oftentimes confused with orneriness. (If that is even a word.)
In 2013, I choose Happiness. My hope is to document my quest. I don't want suggestions. I am not looking for advice. I am living my life on my terms.
That goes for this blog, also. While I receive very kind and heartfelt comments and emails from many of you, there are a select few who, for whatever reason, believe they know me or understand me, without ever having met me or seen my life. What I write here are typically vents after an incident or elations after a success. I get some not-so-nice, but well-meaning comments and emails. (Take for instance yesterday's post and the second comment from some "faceless" person.) That was completely uncalled for, and could very well be someone I know. I even had to block several friends from the FB fanpage from commenting, because there were entirely too combative, and I am not looking for a debate.
With that being said, I think I need to take control of my blog again. I think we bloggers get a little addicted to the comments and the number of views we receive. What I have decided to do is delete my FB fanpage. I decided to also delete the page views from my page. I now have comment moderation, though I might disable comments all together, or only allow members to comment (which I can select by adding their email address.) The decision is entirely up to me. But keeping the negative at bay is extremely important.
One thing I have always thought was incredible about famous people, was that many of them have people that protect them from bad press. That's right! I remember once, John Travolta was chatting with Oprah Winfrey and she asked how did he deal with the negative press, and he responded that he had people who handled that and he refused to read the comments or the critics review. He basically implied that it sort of dampens the spirit and can make you second guess yourself.
He's absolutely right.
As someone who works in PR & Marketing, if I were the publicist of this blog (which technically, I am,) and I were protecting someone else, I would moderate their comments and access to criticism from the outside. So.. since I don't have a third party, and this is simply my online journal, that I hope to go back and read one day.. many.. many years from now, I think I need a filter of sorts.
And THAT, my friends, will help me seek happiness. At least in this arena.
I LOVE my blog. I love that for almost four years, I have documented the ups and downs of my life. I love the friends I have made, and I love how far I have come. It's amazing. It truly is. It surpassed my wildest dreams, and for that I am forever grateful.
That is why, this Christmas morning, I leave you with a wonderful quote:
If you want to be happy, be. ~Leo Tolstoy