"Freedom from desire leads to inner peace." ~ Lao Tse
I am at peace. Is it possible? Can it be true? Perhaps it is just the medicine I am taking to fight this mini viral infection, or perhaps I am just mentally clear, focused and.. well.. peaceful.
After I went through the grieving period of having to be away from my egyptian for so long, and somewhere after the focus and stamina to drive down to the coast and work for a week, and somewhere after I returned home then ended up sick - I found my quiet place.
I think knowing that each day, each minute, each moment is ALL mine is pretty powerful. I am completely in control, no negative words anywhere near me, and just a sense of center.
Sure - I miss my egyptian. I miss his smile, I miss his funny horse sounds he makes when he is trying to be funny, I miss watching him hide behind the kitchen window eating his flat bread and cheese...
But the truth of the matter is, a lot of his happy moments were slipping by. He basically sank into a bit of a depression and missed his family and friends. God willing, he is at peace - amongst his people, telling his stories, and speaking strictly arabic. No nagging wife, no sitting in an apartment, no stress of a daily routine as a husband.
I hope he gets it out of his system and returns to America refreshed and ready to take on the world. :-)
But I digress..
I AM enjoying my time alone. Lots of reading, a handful of movies, a LOT more shopping, quiet dinners with the TV in my pjs, leaving my shoes and bras where ever I want too..
It's like being single without all of the desire mixed in. My "desire", my love is across the ocean. This is the longest we have ever gone without hearing each other's voice (since we met.) Very interesting also.
Yeah - I guess I am just figuring some things out. Spending time with myself. Getting some clarity. Staying busy.
What about you - what have you "sort of" figured out this week?