The Caffeine Highs and the Sugar Lows

In all honesty, I am hurting for something to write about. I am all jacked up on coffee/espresso and then sometimes a little extra sugar. I am running non-stop from 7am until close to 9pm - just doing work, or doing something personal or whatever. Busy, Busy, Busy. Interesting factoid - I am waaaay more busy now, than I usually am with the egyptian here. Odd twist of events.

I think before it was hard to stay focused, because my first reaction is to do something FUN with him or whatever else he wanted, just because I wanted to BE with him and make him happy. Now I am actually fulfilling my "other" life duties and it is non stop. It's comfortable. I am okay.

*insert sigh of relief*

I am soooo glad I did not swoop into a super- sad -deep- dark -depression. It could have turned out really, really bad. But it did not. I am fine. I assume he is fine. Life is good. Blah Blah.

As for material, it's all OTHER people's personal stuff - which clearly, I cannot share. Or it is work related. LOTS of stuff is going on, just nothing that is within my rights to share. So, there ya go!

The only thing I can honestly say that I have "mulled over" was this whole communication thing. How we convey messages to one another, how we interpret what others are saying, etc. I picked up that silly book - The Five Love Languages and apparently I am "Words of Affirmation." Then I started thinking about ALL of my relationships throughout my life (romantic or otherwise) and if THAT was what I was basing my happiness on. It definitely has me thinking in a different way. Hopefully a more thoughtful way, at least.

I apparently need to hear I am good person, or a smart person, or a strong person - or whatever the case may require. I have always put myself out there as if I did not need anyone to say anything to me, that my self worth did NOT come from the acceptance from others. Then.. maybe it was not the acceptance, but the praise. A little selfish on my part, don't ya think?

That's all I have tonight my dears. I am in between work and going to my Body Jam class.. and well, that's all. I hope to regroup and share something profound soon enough. But I did want to touch base, say hi and fill you in on the moronic ramblings in my head.

Until next time...