Friday, September 14, 2012

Healthy Choices: Positive Relationships

There was a time when I set these intense, very specific goals for my life. I strategically planned my life, set personal deadlines and held myself accountable for any issues that crossed my path.

Then real life happened.

I hit my 30s and things began to unravel. I found myself in a relationship that was going nowhere fast, to falling so hard, so deeply for someone who.. at the time.. felt like the answer to my prayers.

I am now just 5 months from turning 40, and it is time to close another chapter.


Without going too deep into specifics, it is safe to say that my current situation does not include any of the following:

It is time I take control over what is happening.

That's what I want to talk about with you today: How to maintain healthy, positive relationships.

I think so much of my frustration, my anger, my disappoint... in my life, may be the source of trying to bring back to life a relationship that ran its course. You can only do so much. You can only control how you react to things, and if you find yourself in a situation that is not good for you, or your self esteem, or for your finances - you have to rescue yourself.

I have tried really hard to bridge a gap on this cultural divide. But I can't do it alone. I think I might have served a purpose in someone else's life, and now that they have what they want, I appear to be an inconvenience.

I'm sorry - but I am not an inconvenience. I was put on this earth to do something, and I deserve to have a positive partner to share in the highs and lows.. yet I find myself standing alone, carrying the brunt of responsibility on my shoulder.

No more.

So today, I pledge to myself to take care of me and only allow healthy, positive relationships into my life. I'm about to embark on a very painful journey.. not knowing what is next.

How do you select positive choices for yourself? What expectations and goals are non negotiables for you?


scrapwordsmom said...

I am thinking about you, Nicole. I am sorry you are going through this. Big hugs.

Laura said...

Hi Nicole - I have been following your blog for almost a year and have been cheering you along. I am divorcing after 20 years of marriage and wish it was an easier process. Reading your journey gives me strength; thank you for that.

Laura said...

You definitely need to take care of YOU. Sometimes it is better to be alone than to be unhappy. Being older myself I have no tolerance towards people who do not appreciate/respect me. I wish you luck on your journey to happiness.


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