Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Know thy self. 
I'm not sure who first coined the phrase, but it is the single most important phrase eva.

Like EVA.

I say this because when my eyes popped open this morning, I realized I have figured a few things out for myself:

1. The fog of the past has cleared. 
2. I feel like my "old self" - circa 1997
3. I can finance myself.
4. I have work experience.
5. I don't have much of a "need" for anything major right now.
6. I know what I believe. I know who my friends are. I know where I stand politically. 
7. No time for B.S.

You know what I mean? 

This past week has been super relaxing. Granted, it's only Tuesday, but I feel really good. I think by taking the time to heal some old wounds, get some closure, and just move on has been the single most therapeutic thing I could possibly do for myself. I know many of you have been championing me on.. and I thank you.

Things are going so smoothly that after a single act of terrible betrayal by a so called friend, I was able to just breathe, listen to a little feel good music, and move the eff on. Yep. No time for false friends. No time for BS games. I have my sweet circle and I am good.

Speaking of that circle, I want to thank those fantastic people that I love so dearly (my extended sistersbyanothermama family) for all they have done for me. It warms my heart to look back at how long I have known so many of you - 28 years or more! You guys helped me get through this ridiculous time. I'm at 8 weeks out from the divorce. Can you believe it? Two months and I feel really good. 

Speaking of that, I am thoroughly enjoying spending time with my new guy friend. (No labels yet.) He is adorable, sweet, and incredibly attentive. Exactly. What. I. Need. Right. Now. We both are super independent and have our own lives, but we are making time to just enjoy our friendship and whatever else. It's good. 

Finally, that brings me to the kicking ass and taking names part. I have systematically removed all of the toxins from my life. I am not allowing anymore in. No more control. No more false friendships. No more pretentious behavior for immature upwardly mobile types... I'm just chilling out and enjoying myself. I am finally at that point in my life where I simply feel like being self-involved. Not in a vanity sort of way, but in a nourishing way.

Where are you at in your life? What transitional life experiences put you there?

7 comments:

Bossy Betty said...

You go, Girl! Life is good when you take charge and get rid of the toxins. Still working my way back up, but doing it at amazing speed!

Dana Payne said...

Nicole,

I am glad you are doing so well.

I am doing very well. I found the person to spend the rest of my life with and I am excited about our future. I never knew what true love was until I met Ron. I know it sounds sappy, but it's true.

The path that took me too my true happiness was long and at times sad. Once I got rid of my toxin, my previous marriage, I became a much better and stronger person. I stopped letting people run my life and take advantage of me. Now those same people consider me snobbish because I no longer ask for their help and I do things for me, my daughter, and my husband. We have worked very hard over the past 4 years to get to where we are today and I have learned and grown so much from my new and healthy relationship. I feel so lucky to have such a wonderful husband!

I wish you the very best.

Dana Payne

put your guns down said...

Nicole,

As a distant relative of "the Egyptian," I am deeply sorry for all the horrible things he did to you. I knew from the day he came and stayed at our house that he was trouble because he had sent flirty messages to my cousin Yasmine and my sister on Facebook. He was a nuisance to our household. He just sat at the table all day and chatted with his friends while pretending to look for a job. We never had any space because he was ALWAYS sitting at the kitchen table. After seeing the type of person he was, I refused to talk to him. He is the type of person that takes advantage of others and offers no help in return. Then, after my parents' hospitality, he had the audacity to accuse me of something (taking some sort of paper) I didn't do after he returned to Alabama. Trust me, if I took his papers, I would have said so. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that not all Egyptians are like this and I am truly ashamed to be related to this monster.

Best regards,

Adham Taman

ArtBLT Belles said...

Ooooh! It's been so long since I've stopped by--DON'T take MY name down. :) lol. Miss you so much. I am making some of the same changes. Tired of trying to be nice to people who really aren't friends & don't have any tact. Hopefully me & the sis can make our way back that way so that we can blog about all of our fun. I hope you are feeling better--know you were sick recently. *hugs*

ArtBLT Belles said...

Ooooh! It's been so long since I've stopped by--DON'T take MY name down. :) lol. Miss you so much. I am making some of the same changes. Tired of trying to be nice to people who really aren't friends & don't have any tact. Hopefully me & the sis can make our way back that way so that we can blog about all of our fun. I hope you are feeling better--know you were sick recently. *hugs*

Hoosier Chick said...

I am draining the snot from my life....literally. Damn allergies of the south. I forgot about humidity until I was back in Nashville! Thought of you when I was at the AHA. Life is so much better now, don'tcha think? :) Miss you! FYI- California is calling you for a visit.

Leanne said...

Wow . . . a new gentleman friend, perhaps? Hmmmm . . . . :) insert happy dance here!!!! What transitional phase am I going through? I've set some serious boundaries in my life in recent months. I put myself and my immediate family first for the first time in what seems like ever . . . . And I am not letting certain people walk all over me. It's been one of the most difficult things I've ever done, but totally liberating . . . And a necessity for my own state of life.

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