"Forgiving is love's toughest work, and love's biggest risk. If you twist it into something it was never meant to be, it can make you a doormat or an insufferable manipulator. Forgiving seems almost unnatural. Our sense of fairness tells us people should pay for the wrong they do. But forgiving is love's power to break nature's rule." ~Lewis B. Smedes
I don't know if it is the right thing to do. I don't know if it is the wrong thing to do. I just know, I have a little bit of peace about it.
The train was a little late. Amtrak in Birmingham should get a D- for the crappy conditions and smelly terminal.
I saw him. He smiled and lifted his shoulders as if to say - "Here I am. Let's face the music."
We did not say much in the car. Finally he said, "I'm hungry." I agreed, and we stopped at Taj India for the buffet.
We chatted just a little. Fairly uncomfortable small talk. He asked how everyone was.. I answered. Not giving much.
We got home and I went straight to my room. Opened my computer and began to answer emails. He came in there, and lay on the bed next to me.
I just looked at him, and he shrugged his shoulders, with this.. "I feel really bad" look on his face. A look I had never seen before. I got a glimpse of the guy I once knew.
He asked me to lay next to him, he wanted to hold me. I just stared at him and asked him if he forgot all of the things he had said.
He admitted he was completely crazed and disappointed and confused and felt all of his dreams had just drifted away. He said he was reacting. He said he reacted poorly.
I told him I was not sure if I could trust him. That decisions had to be made together.
I told him how I felt when he said those things. How I, at this point, was already making plans to purchase a cat and was ready to be single, if need be. I was fine.
He looked at me, defeated - a look I have never seen before. He is such a prideful man. But there it was.
I asked, "Why are you here?"
He replied, "I choose you."
The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong. ~Mahatma Gandhi