Sunday, December 12, 2010

Forgiveness

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget, is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one." ~Henry Ward Beecher

I am trying out this concept of true forgiveness... and I have to say, it feels nice.
In our society, it really does not make a lot of sense to most people - to take something/someone and totally wipe the slate clean after pain or heartache was experienced. We are a vengeful sort, always thinking of ways to "get back" at others, or cutting them out completely.

I read a quote yesterday that struck me so hard. It was by Ian Percy and it said, "We judge others by their behavior. We judge ourselves by our intentions." How completely true is this statement? How is it that I expect all of my sins to be forgiven and wiped clean, when I cannot do the same for another.

Plus, who is to say one person's transgressions are any worse than another? Pain is pain. Deceit is Deceit. Anger is anger. What ever form it comes in, it always leaves a horrible after taste.

When you choose (and the key word is choose) to wipe the slate clean and adjust your thinking - changes will come, almost magically.

I choose to feel joy. I choose passion. I choose adventure. I choose beauty. I choose truth. I choose companionship. I choose love.

All of those choices have both pros and cons. There is no rule written for the universe that would say that any of these paths would be easy. To understand joy, I must experience sadness. To feel passion, I must feel apathy. To handle adventure, I must see boredom. To witness beauty, I must be exposed to ugly. If I am to live in truth, I must feel the pain of a lie. If I want to feel the security of a companion, I must feel what it means to truly live alone. And if I am to experience the ultimate gift of all - love.. then I must be exposed to hatred, anger, and isolation.

Holding another hostage to your scars is not fair. The only freedom one will ever experience is one where pure acceptance and a clean slate is provided. To get there, one must hit bottom and rise to the top.. and to rise by choice.

Yes, I am practicing forgiveness.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

forgiveness to me is acceptance that tells us people are friggin idiots but what are you going to do.

wordygirl said...

I totally agree and I totally disagree.lol

Angie - The Work at Home Wife said...

Definitely something to think about. Here from LBS.

Unknown said...

There are 2 or 3 individuals in the world I cannot seem to forgive. I hope someday I'll become stronger and decide it's time.
Thanks for your comment re: the blog. I was questioning the change...

Anonymous said...

I find forgiving easy, it's the thought that they haven't forgiven me which is hard to let go of and eats me up a bit. There are some people I haven't totally forgiven, and it's because I feel like I deserve an apology from them. I know someday, when more time has passed, I won't care about even that anymore, and I I'll just forgive them.
We're all human, and we all screw up. No use hating someone forever for, ultimately, petty reasons.

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