Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Endure what you must

There is a quote I love that discusses how to deal with life.

"Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must." ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

It is that last part I have a hard time with.

Endure what you must..

What if I don't want to endure? What if I want to set myself free from whatever it is I must "endure."

Goethe did not grow up in an American Society. He had no way to understand that you can truly fight for your rights for life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

What I used to do .. when people/places/events felt "toxic" to me - I would simply cut them out/not go there.

Then I tried really hard to do the last part - endure.

Endure is like a bad word to me.

Well 3 years of enduring is enough.

I decided to go back to what I did before. Hey - it works for me! (no judgement please.)

Lately the people portion has come into play. I am trying so hard to separate myself from negativity in my life. Or even someone who is constantly picking, or judging, or argumentative. I just want peace - you know?

Moving to another state and having to make a whole new set of friends (in your mid 30s) is YUCK.

I think I did what I needed to do to learn more about the city, have a few laughs and move on.

But I am reminded.. oh so often.. that the loyalty and true friendship is back home. I miss my support system there. Man - I had a strong one. Did not realize until I left.

How many of you have moved somewhere different and had to start over in your social circle? What did you do to ease into a new way of life?

I have to admit, I met some great people through the activities I got involved in. My church friends (the other youth leaders) are amazing. My friends I met in my Flamenco Dance classes were excellent. My friends I made when I worked at my first job in Birmingham, remain to be my closest friends here. However two of them moved away - one to Mississippi and one to Florida.

I am so pleased that my egyptian is in the states. It is NICE having him by my side. When I go to sleep, there he is. When I wake up - there he is. He is my rock.

I guess what I am getting at is this - I am married, no children. My husband and I have no ties to Birmingham. It is an interesting situation.

We have to lean on each other.

Personally - I see no rule that says I have to endure, or talk, or return phone calls, or email, or text, any one I do not want to. Nor do I have to attend an event, place, stores, etc that I do not like.

Freedom to choose.

What do you do to feel free?


Miel Abeille said...

"Endure what you must" is a great quote. I feel free when I'm driving or listening to music. Preferably, both!

Nicole said...

You are absolutely right! Music is key!

Anonymous said...

I've had to start over MANY times in recent years. It isn't fun. I suck at it. You're lucky you have church as an ready-made community, and your husband, you can lean on if times get rough, I don't. So there you definitely have an advantage.

Music makes me feel free too. And writing, when I have a really good idea.


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