Believe it or not - I can actually be a very shy person.
Yes, I am - I swear! You don't believe me? Ohh.. you have NOOOO idea.
When I was a kid, it took everything for me to talk to other people. Typically, you had to approach me first. Not because I thought that I was a better person, but because I knew if you approached me, then you must want to know me, so I would let you in.
(Hmm.. a little insecure, perhaps?)
Then middle school came around - same thing. Then I discovered girls could be MEAN. I had to develop a bit more thicker skin.
By high school - let's say, 11th grade, I had a bit more attitude, a bit more hmm.. "swagger".. a bit more "acting skills" behind my belt.
But still - it was DIFFICULT for me to make the first move.
College/first jobs/etc... same thing. I laid low - and waited for people to approach.
I was told, much later, that I did not seem approachable and that I seemed a bit.. dare I say it... snobby??!!
But I think that is what happens, too many of us are actually super-shy and it comes off as stand-offish and "snobby."
Since then, I have planted a smile on my face, let go of a ton of insecurities, and found my way to being the "first to approach". What's interesting, I can now command a room, joke with the shy ones and actually help bring THEM out of their shell.
I tell you all of this because this afternoon I have to meet a lot of people. My egyptian has a company picnic (his first official career/job in America) and boys and girls, let's be honest, appearances mean A LOT in his culture.
I have no idea what to wear, and I am starting to feel that shyness creep in.
First of all it - it is hot as hell outside (I am in Alabama - when I say hot, imagine the hottest it can possible be, with high humidity and absolutely no wind) and it's outside - translation - mosquitoes. I know the egyptian does not like me to dress with too much leg (hell, I am 5'1 - how much leg can one shorty have?) So I am struck with a dilemma.
I had to write all of this out this morning just to purge this insecurity and shyness. I know I will plant a smile on my face, pick the right thing to wear, and be witty and intelligent all wrapped into one (hell - this is what I do for a living, let me pretend I am getting paid) - but for now.. I am that 12 year old girl, walking into that new school - but this time, oh this time, I have the hot guy on my arm!