I finally have a day to just.. well.. catch up! Since we had our super busy and SUPER successful Pan African Festival this past week, I was given this day to take off. Luckily, I was able to rest quite a bit yesterday. I slept to about 9:40am (which for me is sleeping in. I naturally wake up around 8ish.) I sat around and watched movies. My niece came to visit (it was her birthday - I was soooo exhausted, I did not even make it to her party. TERRIBLE AUNTIE AWARD.)
I got so much rest, I woke up at 6:30 this morning - bright eyed and bushy tailed (as my dad used to say!)
I figure today is the perfect day to run some errands: Grocery shop, buy souvenirs for my Chicago-area friends, and possibly a little something for me. Tonight I have to meet my "small group" from Leadership Macon, we're working on a little project.
Nothing super new to report out. Things are fairly calm here on the home front. He is minding his own business. I am minding mine. I honestly wish he would just pack his bags and go, no use dragging it out... but I have to remember, I asked the same thing of my first husband.. if he would give me time to find a place. Karma.. you know.
I have prayed that God gives me the strength to handle all of this without completely losing my mind or slipping into the deepest of dark holes - so far, so good.
I just want to be alone - properly alone, for a while. I am not interested in getting back out on the dating scene. I could care less about "meeting" new people, and I pray my friends don't pull some little "chance meeting" with other people either. I don't want to deal with all of that mess. I. Could. Care. Less.
This will be one of the first times in my life, (as an adult,) to just- BE. I want to BE. There is something so delicious in the idea. I get it now - the whole turning 40 and feeling completely secure in who you are and what you want. It's all going to be okay. This is not my first bar-be-que, if you know what I am saying.?
I hope the rest of you going through crazy stuff get what I am saying. People let us down. I do think it is the proper thing to forgive and to keep trying. But sometimes, you just have to say enough is enough. I am glad he finally admitted what I already knew. I am glad we are not in limbo anymore.
Wishing each of you a beautiful week!