Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Thank God

"Angels descending, bring from above,
Echoes of mercy, whispers of love."
~Fanny J. Crosby

I am about to get biblical on you. ;-) Just kidding - not really, but I need to say something... and it might get a little "metaphysical."

I had a CRAPPY day yesterday, mixed in with little bouts of good. As the evening progressed, it only got worse. I can always tell when the stress is trying to overtake my body - every muscle hurts so bad.

I got home and all hell broke loose. After dinner and an impromptu peach cobbler (which I had no business making while trying to diet,) I decided to just PRAY. I cried and prayed for well over an hour. I even broke out the rosary.

The tension is palpable. Sometimes, I feel like I could just snap. Not in the "Snapped" A&E murderess type of way, but in the Sylvia Plath "Bell Jar" sense.

So I did the only thing I had left to do - and that was offer up all of my stress, sadness, and anger to God. I told God that I just could not handle the issues that are bothering me any more. I had no where else to turn.

Before bed, as I was laying secluded in my bedroom - I happened to glance at my phone. My friend, Laura, from work - sent me a message:

I was reading through that Praying God's Word book & found this quote & sent it to my brother. Thought you would like it too :)

"Overcoming rejection is God's unquestionable will for your life if you belong to Him. How do you overcome rejection? By applying large doses of God's love to your wounded heart daily and by allowing Him to renew your mind until the rejected thinks like the accepted.

Jesus Christ will never leave you or forsake you. He will never cast you away. He is incapable of suddenly deciding He no longer wants you. If you have received God's Son as your Savior, nothing you can do will cause Him to reject you. Believe what God's Word tells you about Him and about you. You are defined by the love and acceptance of the Creator and Sustainer of the universe. He happens to think you are worth loving... and keeping. Find your identity in Him."

Regardless of what, dear reader,  you believe - this spoke to me. It was timely and like an answer to a prayer. Laura had no idea what I was going through that night, or what I was experiencing. Out of nowhere - this was sent to me. Right after I had finished praying and trying to calm down.


That night, as I lay sleeping, I woke up suddenly by a bright light. I thought - WHAT IN THE WORLD? It was the biggest, brightest moon shining through the blinds of my bedroom. Something about it comforted me... and I went back to sleep... hoping the moon beams would somehow heal my hurt.

This morning, I awoke - calm. I feel a sense of peace. EXACTLY what I needed. Yes, I have prayed for this many, many times - but never actually felt it. This time, I do.

Then I get to work - and I open my little daily reading piece, and you will not believe what today's said! I will transcribe it here:

Love All of Yourself

Do more than just accept yourself, tolerate yourself, put up with yourself, endure who you are. Love yourself.

There came a time in my life when I simply could no longer put up with putting up with myself. I had talked about self-love. I had said out loud that I loved myself. The words were good, but they didn't ring true. I had to actually begin experiencing and practicing love for myself. It became the next step on my path.

To live in a magical way, one in which you connect with the universe, loving yourself isn't optional. It comes first. To hear the quiet voice of your heart so you know you are being led, to hear your thoughts so you can see what you really believe, to trust and open your heart, you must first experience love for yourself.

Have you abandoned yourself? Let yourself see if that's true, feel it that's true. Then learn to experience love for yourself.

Learn to love the way you handle things. Love your unique way of learning, growing and seeing things. Love where you've been. Love what you've done. Love where you are, and what you're doing now.

Love how you look, smell, and feel. Love the color of your eyes, the color of your hair, and the radiance in your heart. Love how you laugh. Love how you cry. Love your mistakes, and love all the good you've done. Love it all. Love all of you.

"Step into love for yourself, and the universe will reflect that love back to you."


"Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous. ~Albert Einstein"


Leanne said...

What a perfect post, Nicole. Love all of you. Something that many of us need to remember. And while these words and moments brought peace to your soul - just your writing about them now has helped me ... miles away. See how the universe works? Amazing.

Thinking of you. Katie now thinks YOU are the coolest person I know - as we were leaving a parking lot today and happened to be parked next to a VW Beetle. She said that was the coolest car in the whole wide WORLD - and I told her my dear friend Nicole has one (that would be you!) She now thinks that I am cool - because I know you. And YOU are just about the COOLEST in the WORLD - because of your beetle. Just had to share that with you. I told her we'd somehow get her in your car for a ride at some point. Now I have to figure out how to make that happen.

Thank you for this post. Thinking of you.

Anonymous said...

Beautiful post indeed!

Ruby@Ruby'sMusings said...

Can not put it any better than Leanne...Beautiful post. Thanks for sharing!


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