Man.. when did it happen? When did I become one of THEM? Can it be true? Am I really a GROWN UP?
While visiting with my family in Georgia last week, my mom and I were talking about the age of children, from people my age. One of my closest friends has a 14 year old and she is 37. Then I looked at mom and said - WOW - you were 37 when I was 14.
How did that happen? I remember my mom when I was 14, and I have to tell you - she seemed "older" than me now. When did this whole adult thing happen?
Is it because I don't actually own my own home? I rent an apartment. Is it because I never had kids? WHY do I feel so much younger than 37? My next birthday is in 5 months. How in the hell did I get to my late 30's and yet feel like I am at least 10 years younger?
I don't mean physically. TRUST ME - I feel every bit the 37 years I have been alive. All types of changes are taking place, and from listening to some older friends - it only gets worse. I am waaay more tired. Things are not quite are perky as they used to be, and hair seems to be a new type of nuisance. A few times I have experienced this extreme wave of heat in my face and somewhere in my mid-30s I ended up with a little acne. Yes - it is official - I am in puberty for middle age. LOL
I thought for sure I would FEEL more mature at some point. But other than just not feeling insecure, I feel the exact same. I don't worry so much about the way I look. Don't get me wrong - I do my make up, and I try to pick out cute things to wear, but I don't WORRY about what YOU think. I do it because I like it.
I still like to have fun, I still like to laugh, I still think really silly things. I can still be petty and talk about you. So when .. oh when.. will I become a mature adult?
I am taking care of myself. I have battled some sickness. I have traveled across the world alone. I've done all of that! I have meetings with CEOs, I accomplished the items I wanted to accomplish professionally... what.. what.. what is next?
Perhaps my spirit is young. Maybe that's it. I am still silly, I am still loud, I am still opinionated and I just don't take myself too seriously...
Right now, I just want to run through my office with a sheet tied around my neck, holding a yard stick in my hand screaming - "GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!"