Thursday, November 29, 2012

Christmas Spirit for One, Please

I could start this post off with some whiney bit about how my day was full of ups and downs. Up with my coworker inviting me to lunch, then proceeding to pay for it. Down for my paycheck being about $227 lower than usual due to a payroll error (and who knows when that will get fixed.) To a mixed bag of .. "well.. I'm going to get some of that Christmas Spirit- even if it kills me.)

I really, REALLY enjoy the holidays. With the right people, I can laugh, sing, dance around - but since I moved back.. I'm sort of flying solo. Most of my friends either have families, or live in a neighboring city. The closest friends I've had for the past 7 years are a state away.  My coworkers tend to go straight home. And the guy I am married to...


He doesn't even celebrate Christams.

But I don't want another holiday to be a bust. So I decided to put on my Wonder Woman cape and head downtown to the Tree Lighting and Christmas Carols. Alone. The crappy part was leaving a meeting at 6:20pm and having a heck of a time finding a parking place close. I had to park all of the way down on the shaddy end of Poplar Street, and if you are from around here, you know where I am talking about. Right in front of that sketchy store where alleged drug deals go down. I power walked (due to fear, not for aerobic activity points) over to First Street and to the City Auditorium. 3rd graders from the Bibb County Public Schools sang several Christmas Carols. As I stood there, I began to question why I had even come. It was awkward being all alone.. but I stuck to my guns. Just as I was about to turn around and go home, "Let's all have some figgy pudding" was sung and there it was, a twinge of Christmas.

The count down was 5, 4, 3, 2,

Tree #1 came on.

I turned around and saw that the Rosa Parks Square tree was lit (apparently at the same time..) so I walked up the slight hill and stood in awe of the pretty tree.

You can see City Hall behind the Tree. It was twinkly and pretty.

It would have been nice to have some friends there to take photos with in front of the tree. It would have been even better to have my signifigant other with me.

But it is what it is.

I did what I came to do.

I walked back to my car.

I drove home.

I saw that full-ish moon.

And I was happy to not hold myself back from doing what I needed to do for myself.

Happy Holidays and Merry Christmas!


Ann Bennett said...

I'm glad you chased your Christmas cheer. I've gone alone to much. As pretty as you are, you'll only be single as long as you want to be. Take care.

The Bipolar Diva said...

I'm glad you went. that tree was beautiful. wishing you the best N.

monicastangledweb said...

Nicole, For over a decade I was married to a guy who didn't celebrate Christmas and who wouldn't allow me to decorate in any way. All I had left was the holiday music which I loved. I remember how he'd work right through the holiday, and I'd be home by myself listening to the radio playing the music nonstop, without commercials, while my family was celebrating together on the opposite side of the country. Well, you can believe that the first thing I did after our divorce was start celebrating and decorating my home to my heart's content, a tradition that I continue to this day. I love Christmas! If I lived by you, I'd be happy to join you for the lighting of the tree. What fun we'd have!

Peggy K said...

Nicole, that is awesome!! Certainly not easy, but the WW in you is flexing her muscles and deciding that it's going to be what she makes of it. And NO ONE can change that!! Attitude is Altitude, Sweetie!!

Tesha Vann said...

Tree was beautiful so glad your doing stuff for you.

Anonymous said...

"I did what I came to do." You've got to...over, and over again...for you. Self-preservation/ Integrity/ Wholeness/ Joy-making. Splendid! (I'm happy you did...cheers to the beginning of a spirit-filled Christmas, created your way.)


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