Friday, November 11, 2011

Things I have learned this week- From a cat.

 Hippolyte Taine once said, "I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior." I concur, Hippolyte, I concur.

A couple of years ago I became acquainted with an eleven week old kitten. He was a scrawny, rambunctious little tabby. Not the type I was going for, but I had decided I wanted a cat.

He was the last one a family was trying to get rid of. The last pick. I figured he might have a complex, you know, getting picked last for the team and all - but turns out, he was simply meant to be in my life.

I lived alone, waiting for my egyptian to arrive with the permission of the Department of Homeland Security. While I was waiting for my ultimate protector, this little guy stood in his place. He had super sharp claws, a cunning disposition, and fangs as long as my pinky. Okay, okay - maybe I am exaggerating just a little, but isn't that what fables are for?

Lestat lived with me for almost a year, only to live temporarily with some friends of mine, then to be transported to my parents home. Not to worry, he is not a bad cat, on the contrary. He is just so super special, he had to be shared with so many people.

Here are just a few things I have learned from Lestat this week:

1. The most important feature a person/cat can have are striking eyes. With a single glance, you can stop someone dead in their tracks. He looks at me, with this thousand yard stare, and I know that he knows that I know...

2. You can never have too many fancy pillows, or pictures of yourself lounging on them. He prefers the sparkly kind, as do I. It just brings out the colors in your eyes, and hair.. or fur.

3. That it is okay to have curves. He told me to embrace the Buddha belly and be proud of who you are. Play hard, sleep hard, and eat as if  the meal you are consuming is the last one you will ever eat. He prefers fishy treats, while I go for the salty chip variety. Oh yeah.. and ice cream.

4. That taking care of your shoes is of the utmost importance. He loves shoes sooo much that he prefers to sleep with them, oh yeah.. and he invites his buddy, Pookie over, for a little shoe fetish time.

5. That if all else fails - strike a pose and vogue. It works for him. Never, EVER lose your cool. Just chill.

6. Always take time for a little culture. Enjoy the arts, in any form you can. Preferably on a Snuggie.

7. Sleep like the living dead. Stretch out like a goddess, or in his world, a vampire cat. Purr, roll around, be the cat.

8.  Spending time with a 5 year old can be very therapeutic. Take time to look out for the little ones.

9.  If people begin to doubt my Wonder Woman Super Powers, or the fact that he is INDEED, a vampire cat - show em. They will never question again.

10.  ALWAYS embrace your inner feline. Only the strong survive.

Thanks Lestat, words of wisdom my feline friend, words of wisdom indeed.

Everything I know I learned from my cat: When you're hungry, eat. When you're tired, nap in a sunbeam. When you go to the vet's, pee on your owner. - Gary Smith

The naming of cats is a difficult matter. It isn't just one of your holiday games. You may think at first I'm mad as a hatter. When I tell you a cat must have three different names... - T.S. Eliot

After scolding one's cat one looks into its face and is seized by the ugly suspicion that it understood every word. And has filed it for reference."- Charlotte Gray


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