Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Things I would do if I were a man....

I got to thinking about the differences between the sexes. I'm a girl. Well, actually a woman. XX chromosome. Estrogen. Female.
As a female, I have absolutely NO idea what it is like to be a man. None whatsoever.
I can experience just about all life has to offer.....

............but I will never be a man.

Nor do I want to.

I prefer being the "fairer" sex.... it's nice to be the one that can express myself emotionally without getting strange looks from the "guys." I also can embrace any color I choose without ever being accused of being something I am not. I can wear both pants or dresses... basically, the world is my oyster.

BUT.... if I WERE a man... what would I do?

1. I am not going to lie, the first thing I would do as a guy is get a nice ride. If I had the means, I would buy a black jaguar. It's smooth, sleek, and is understated class.

No - it's not important for men to have expensive cars - but it does say a lot when it is a classy, understated car.

2.  Next, I think I would get the best BBQ Grill. I think every man should be a grill master - and of course, if I were a man - I would be one.

Every Saturday I would whip up something mouthwatering!

3.  I also believe every man should have one really nice watch. As women, we get to sport diamonds and pearls and a million other accessories. If I was a man, I would invest in one super-nice watch.
4. I would instill the "bad boy" charm of Enrique Iglesias. Very European, very charming, but keeping everyone on their toes. ;-)

5.  I would only smoke the finest cigars. That would be my one little vice. I would gather with the guys and sit and discuss politics.. and what not. (I am sure the what not would be women.. but.. I just can't take it there.... )

6.  I would be as suave as Colin Firth. (The perfect Mr. Darcy.) A quiet intellect... yet very witty.

7.  I would keep a messy little hairstyle like Jude Law. Nice enough to look pulled together, but tussled enough to send the message, "I just don't care."

8.  No doubt, I think a well groomed man is sexy. Sooo.. I would take very good care of my skin... and YES.. I would be straight. ;-)
9.  I would instill that rugged playfulness like Matthew McConnaughey. Work up a sweat each day... just that natural "manliness..."

10. I would make a point to have a decent wardrobe. One to look casual, and dress it up a bit.  I would always remain classic, yet sexy! ;-)

I would make a point to be well spoken and intellectual like Matt Damon...

12. I would eat nachos without feeling guilty.

13.  I would be a jet-setter... traveling for the love of culture. (YES - I would be straight.)

14.  If men are into beer, then I would be a beer connoisseur

15.  I would make a point to learn French, Italian and basic Spanish..

16. Finally, I would always exude masculinity, yet a hint of mystery.. like Henry Cavill.

Then  I would also be ... just sensitive enough....

Finally - since I am me... but a boy.... I would have my dark hair and blue eyes... just like Jake Gyllenhaal.

At the end of the day - this is just a joke... and when I really think about it, I think I just described MY perfect guy... just suave enough, just smart enough, just worldly enough.. and just bad enough to keep my attention.

I guess I got him! :-)

Instead... I will settle for who I am:

Hope you got the humor in this one!


Tamika D. said...

How cute! If I were a boy I would play football and go to Hooters!

Leslie Limon said...

You just described my perfect man! :P

Leanne said...

You crack me up!!! I so enjoyed this one. So funny!

If I were a boy, I'd be one just like my husband - cause he's got a damn good life and a fantastic wife! ;)

teee heee heee

Hoosier Chick said...

I still want to know if Sarah Palin thinks dinosaurs were here 4000 years ago.


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