Saturday, December 29, 2012

Things I have learned this week

This week's "Things I have learned" are dedicated to some random trial counselor from New Orleans, Louisiana. As my friend and I were leaving Lafitte's Blacksmith Shop (the oldest bar in America,) he (along with his group of 3 others) stopped us to chat. They were celebrating with his future brother-in-law (the wedding was just a day away) and decided to impart some wisdom.. before we made our way back to our room...

(PS - He repeated this at least 4 dozen times.. he was completed wasted and I was completely sober. I was laughing my head off... we tried to leave over and over but he was very insistent to share this:)

1. NEVER go north of Rampart Street. You WILL be raped and murdered.

2. NEVER go further (past) Frenchman's Street. Again... you WILL be raped and murdered.

3. NEVER go down any of the alleyways without lights or people... you WILL be raped and murdered.

4. All of those are really bad for tourism.

5. (Upon mentioning we were headed to Cafe du Monde at midnight he said:) Don't go to Cafe du Monde - too many damned tourists.

6. Instead, go to Esplanade Mall in the morning. Same damn coffee and same damn donuts.  (ha!)

7. If you need a decent steak at two in the morning, walk a few blocks to Dejavu. But be careful.. you will have to cross the "cross dresser" section, and most are prostitutes.

8. If you want a good beer - D.B.A. over 100 different brands on tap.

9. Always stay on Bourbon Street. You will be safe there. AND you won't be raped and murdered.

10. The whole vampire bit is crap.

11. But raping and murdering is real.

12. Lafayette is the best for good Cajun food.

13. Always go into a place (in Lafayette) that looks scary.

14. Plus - if the waitress has no teeth, then you know you are in the right place.

15. He was quite impressed we took a swamp tour in Lafitte. He said that's the good stuff.

There were a few other morsels he kept spilling and asking me to repeat to him, until .. and yes.. I have it memorized.

Needless to say, we walked to Cafe du Monde, had some cafe au lait (decaf) and beignets.

Life IS good.

1 comment:

Robyn Burke said...

Hilarious!! What amazing advice. I can just image the whole scene as you were listening and taking it all in.


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