This guy in the picture is the love of my life.
I am sooo in love with him.
When we first met - he was my absolute best friend. We would talk for hours. Days. Months. We could not get enough of each other.
Then we spent some time in Egypt together, visiting with his family, friends - got engaged - it was a fantastic time. The most amazing vacation I have ever experienced in my life.
Then we began - what one could only see as - the most stressful journey a couple could go through. Immigration. Paperwork, lots of money, and tons of hurry up and wait. All we wanted was to be together.
More late night calls, this time sad. Chatting - but a little less. Questions. Pain. A feeling of hopelessness.
Then finally, after a series of mini-crisis events, he got his VISA to move to the states. It was rush rush - no time for him to say goodbye to family and friends. No time to cherish these bitter sweet moments. No time for me to "officially" prepare.
Visa one day - flight the next. Then the swish and rush of planning a quick wedding. (Due to immigration.)
Then comes the adjustment period. He's really organized, I am a little less. He gets homesick. I am technically home. He can't work legally for almost 8 months. I am supporting him. His culture has expectations for women. I am a very independent woman.
Yes, we knew these things. But it does not make it any easier.
So - my little bubble I created for myself was busted. I had to LET someone else in, and let them turn this into their home. It made me very uncomfortable. VERY. I like my way - and no other way. I bitched and complained to friends. That made him mad.
We were verbally attacking each other. Which caused tension. Continue the homesickness and the lack of a job and $$ for him.
He withdrew into himself.
Friends.. get this... FRIENDS told me to leave him. Can you believe it?
Yes - he was driving me crazy. Yes living with him can be stressful. But at the end of the day - we love each other.
THAT'S what love and marriage is about. Good times AND bad. Sickness AND health. For richer AND for poorer.
Now that he has his green card and is moving forward, I see glimpses of my old friend. We laugh, we tease, we love. Yes - he shuts down from time to time. Yes, he says he wants to go home (more often than not.)
Then when things look up - I see what we can be together. It's hard. No one ever said it would be easy.
To the people who ENCOURAGE me to give up the fight - I say to you - I have found the love I looked for any entire life. Yes, there have been a few emotional months, but there are years where the love was flowing. He and I are trying to understand each other. And as a strong, controlling person - I probably understand him better than anyone else. Because my friends, I am the same. ;-)
My song for my egyptian: