Wednesday, December 11, 2013

They Bother Me

No doubt about it, I can be super cranky. No.. make that snarky. I am 1/2 loving, compassionate, and altruistic, and 1/2 snarky, cynical, curmudgeon-y. I've made numerous lists about things that bother me, and honestly, those list change from time to time. For one, I've learned patience over the past two years and that washed about 1/2 of my "cranky" list away. 

However, by going through the things I have experienced, new nuances have popped up. So on this beautiful, brisk, December day, The Grinch is in full effect and here is my latest "Things That Bother Me."

Shall we begin?

1. Whining. OMG... can I repeat... OMG?! If you have a pain, or you made a mistake, or.. what th eff ever, please oh please... just deal with it. Technically, I've always been this way. I'm a solver, and I try really hard to solve problems - FAST. Talking about it with someone you trust is one thing, and even attempting to solve a problem and fail is also one thing. But going on and on and on and on without even TRYING to solve the problem/issue/whatever.. and continuously whining about it... (one more time from the peanut gallery...) OMG.

2. Christmas decor. Let me be very clear - I LOVE CHRISTMAS, but I also love the other holidays. I have this clear picture in my head of a stroll through Walgreens to pick up my prescriptions. I happened to dart through the "holiday decor" aisle, and it was mid-October, and to my left is Halloween and to my right is Christmas. I stopped... I looked from side to side.. and I said (ever so slightly audibly,) "Are you effing kidding me?"

3. Shoppers. When I am standing in line at... let's say.. Walmart (God forbid,) and you are behind me with your buggy. Do NOT under any circumstances have that cold, metal, monstrosity hit my a$$. This is my shopping space.. and about 2 to 3 feet back is YOUR shopping space. Wait your turn.

4. Scenario: Some one's Living room. Situation: Agreeing on something to watch. 
Me: What would you like to watch?
Random Person: Whatever. It doesn't matter.
Me: Okay.. *scrolling through* Ah.. here we go.
Random Person: Ugh. I hate that.

5. Liars. Ugh. 

6. This one may be a little hard to explain, but when someone plans to talk to you about something, and maybe, just maybe they played the scenario out in their head. Then later, they see you and talk to you as if you had this "make believe" conversation with them and you SWEAR you never did. 

7. If I am standing with you, and you are my significant other, do not under any circumstances break your neck trying to check out another woman. I will call you out every time. 

8. Speaking of which - do not flirt with my friends. (See # 7.) Many of the guys I have dated, including my ex husbands, both did it. HATED IT. (My friends are cute, what can I say?)

9. Just because you don't like someone, does not mean I have to dislike them, AND just because you like someone does NOT mean I have to spend time with you... AND them.

10. Baby mama drama. Oh holy hell. WTF? Each guy I have dated since the divorce all have this issue with the moms/exs. I obviously have never been involved with anyone with kids. Geez Louise... you crazy biotches need to pull it together. #disgusting


What would you add?

1 comment:

Erin said...

I am embarrassed to admit that I am completely guilty of number 9. It takes a lot for me to not like someone...but when I don't, I REALLY don't. I hate when good things happen to them, when people I know say good things about them, etc. I know that is completely toxic. But HOLY MOLY. Haha, I guess I have something to work on, eh?

The thing I would add is hypocrisy. Oh Lordy Lord. Hypocrisy has the tendency to really twist my panties.


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