Giving Thanks

If you have spent any amount of time around me, you know I can be quite sarcastic. I often scoff at the "Day of Thanks" posts on FB, simply because it is so cliche. However, I do actually get it.. and yes, it is nice to count your blessings and let those around you know that, yes, you do indeed appreciate their presence in your life.

Instead of boring people with a daily helping of what I am thankful for, I thought I would just jot down a few thoughts, because I have to be honest with you, my cup is running over a little these days.

First and foremost, I am always incredibly grateful that God has allowed me to exist on this earth. What an incredible blessing just to be able to breathe the air, exchange dialog with others, and serve in ways we never knew could bring us such joy. 

Second, yes.. it is nice to be closer to my family. This holiday season, I do not have to drive four hours to eat some turkey, then rush back through Atlanta and into busy Birmingham. I simply have to make a 20 - 30 minute drive to my mom's house. 

I am super thankful for my new job. So far, it is a fantastic opportunity to serve my community. I love the architecture, the interior design, the history, the staff, the volunteers - it is all really quite lovely. 

Of course there is my roomie and BFF, Lynn. She is a fantastic person to have around. We have been such incredible roommates, it really is a blessing. How can two grown, independent women live so harmoniously together? Beats me. 

My cats are my little bundles of joy. Though there are days I question my sanity for getting creatures that can jump high and rip furniture to shreds, I am incredibly happy to have these purring machines around.

My friends in general. Those people who make me smile and love and encourage me. I am a VERY lucky girl in that sense. 

And finally, yes.. there is a new guy. Officially a new guy. We are seeing each other exclusively, and he is truly terrific. He's 44, a structural designer,  lives about an hour and half south of here, and has two beautiful daughters (ages 12 & 13.) 

There is a LOT of new in my life right now. New job, new guy, new routine... and I'm working hard to adjust accordingly. Even though I am overwhelmed with all of the new processes, and my immune system has taken a beating (a cold that never seems to end,) I am doing very well. My hope is I can stay still long enough to adjust and find some of that peace I often lack. 

I wish each and every one of you a Happy Thanksgiving! 

I'm back.. and I'm great!

You missed me?

I'm back. 

And I'm doing great.

Obviously, I started a new job and a few others things have blossomed, so I needed some time to work through the kinks to see what would transpire.

The new job? It's great. Honestly! I'm learning so much and trying very hard to process everything that is happening around me. 

I'm still freelancing on the side. It seems as if all of the projects are coming down on me at one time, and needless to say I've been slightly overwhelmed. Too many chiefs... and here I am trying to learn a new job. *woosaa*

Great news on the personal front - met a new guy! I was actually talking to one guy and unfortunately he is just too busy with his life, but out of nowhere a new person swooped in who happens to have the time for me and is so much fun! We went on a fantastic date last Saturday night (he randomly asked me on Thursday night.) Best decision ever! Stay tuned for more on that one later.

I hope to get back in the swing of writing soon - with actual topics (like I did back in the day.) 
Let me situate.. and figure out life a little, and I assure you I will catch everyone back up! 

Hope everyone is having a great night!

 

Grab Your Pencils & Paper

I think today is a good day to jot down what I am thinking.

It's the first day of school for me, but this time... I'm the principal. ;-)

I say that tongue-in-cheek, but you see, I have a new job. I'm super excited about the job, and yes, the position is going to be a happy challenge for me. I am now the new Executive Director of the Cannonball House in Macon, Georgia. This place is simply beautiful - that's the best way to describe it. It is an 1853 planter's townhouse. It survived some slight damage during the Civil War. 

Well.. today is the first day. 

For me, I find this a huge responsibility! Our fair city is known for its antebellum homes, and one of the biggest draws for people is to tour these grand residences. This is also a confederate museum. There are tons of artifacts stored that tell the story of the south's experience during the War Between the States. 

With all of that being said, I would love for my readers to check out the website - http://www.cannonballhouse.org and tell me what you think!

Well.. it is time for me to finish my coffee, grab my suit, and head out! Wish me luck!

My Faith Was Bigger

"We looked in the budget, and unfortunately, we can't afford you. Your position is going to be part time."

I heard those words just a few short months ago. 
I didn't freak out. I reached out to my support system.
Three days later I landed a great contract for some freelance work.

Two months later I would hear, "We looked back in the budget, and unfortunately, this is not going to work." 
I was let go, through no fault of my own. 

I didn't freak out. Instead, I prayed. 
I also reached out to my support system - again. This time, my community, my home town, responded in the most positive way. The universe heard me.

And I stood strong.

That's the biggest difference this go around. I had been here before. Except this time, I did not have a safety net of a husband. It's just me. I have stood tall, and done quite well for myself. 

With that being said, I have some GREAT news. One of the jobs I interviewed for just came through today. I am now going to be the Executive Director for a local historical house museum! This is incredible news and I am thrilled beyond belief. 

Not only is it a wonderful challenge for me personally, but professionally, it is the most logical next step in my journey. I've made a commitment to sit in this role for 24 months. I know I can do this, and I am prepared to really take this specific place to the next level. (I'll share specifics later!)

It's funny how intuitively, I knew to just stay calm. Sure, I got a little discouraged from time to time. I would often joke with my roomie about having to pack up and move home in a few months.. but that is not going to happen. The best part? I plan to continue to grow my consulting and freelance writing business. I'll continue to work hard with other organizations, and help all of us grow - for as long as I can.

October. Oh sweet, precious October. You always bring me the good stuff. 

And as always, another door closed in my face, because something bigger and better was just around the corner waiting on me.

Wow. 
Life really is an amazing journey.

 

Finding the Magic Within

I am sitting here staring at the computer screen. There are so many thoughts racing through my mind, I simply had to sit down and sort it all out in a post. Most of them are super positive, and that's always a good thing. 

I was perusing Pinterest as I was drinking my Sunday morning coffee, and I came across this quote - "Believe in your own magic." It struck a cord with me. 

I realize that this blog is simply a place for me to come and sort out what is in my head. One day is good, and I share those triumphs with the world. We celebrate the successes and then I am armed with some verbal validation and I thrust myself out into the world and try to make things happen. Then there are the days that are a little harder than others. I come here, share my pain and confusion, receive the honest and healing feedback, then I gain the confidence I need to head back out and try, try again.

Writing is incredibly therapeutic. 

But somewhere.. in all of this good/bad, positive/negative, triumphs/failures... I have created a little something. I have built my character, and I have come to actually believe in my own magic. There is something special about me, as there is with each of you. Each and every one of us have an incredible gift that was bestowed on us (in my opinion, from God,) and it is our duty to recognize that light and share that with the world.

I look around at the people in my life right now. Let's take my roomie for example. Lynn has an incredible gift for making people feel comfortable. She is very maternal and compassionate, and it is a natural reaction for her to soften blows, shield you from a storm, and help you sort through your thoughts. She has a way of delivering bad news that helps you accept it more easily. That song from Mary Poppins comes to mind, "A Spoon Full of Sugar.."

Then I think about my old friend, Telisa. (Old as in.. we've been friends for a LONG time.) Telisa has this uncanny ability to help you shake things off. She has this wanderlust and zest for life, and honestly reminds me of a port in the storm. She is a strong person, larger than life (literally - she's a very tall girl,) and I get this visual of a warrior blocking the winds and rain from hitting the ones she loves. 

I think about some of my newer friends, Stephanie, for example. Stephanie is another force to be reckoned with. A woman who will dig her heels in, rationally look at a situation, and sort out all of the variables before making her move. I think of a champion chess player. 

I can use my mom as an example. She is a ferocious lioness. She protects her interests and is passionate about what she believes in (which happens to be the arts.) She knows what needs to happen, and she has a "take no prisoners" sort of attitude.

Each of these women have a light inside of them, as do you, and a specific innate ability. I could list out every single person I know and share with you what I think their "magic" is. Notice I did not attribute anything to whether they had great relationships, or what they did for a living. Those are just details and add to what draws you to them. What I am talking about is that fire within. That light that shines so brightly that you are drawn to them, and you seek out that "thing" and try to take some of that with you. When I leave Lynn, I feel calmer. When I leave Telisa, I feel safer. When I leave Stephanie, I feel more focused. When I leave my mom, I feel  stronger. Each of you have this magic inside of you.

What is your magic?

Life & Its Little Disasters

Needless to say, I made it thru September to one of my favorite months in the year - October. Appropriately, it has been a completely glorious fall weekend. 

I made a point to order a Pumpkin Spice Latte from Starbucks. I consumed 1/2 a bag of candied corn. I ate a Pumpkin Spice donut from Krispey Kreme. I ordered a Pumpkin Pie Blizzard from Dairy Queen. I've even consumed a bowl of chili. (not all in one weekend, mind you!)

Now.. I have to be honest. The weather is in the mid 80s, with super sunny skies... yeah.. I know.. It's the thought that counts. 

While I am steadily packing on the poundage with nutmeg laced calories, I have been trying to regroup a little - both personally and professionally. I hit a lull, and let's be honest, got thrown a curve ball for the 5 bazillionth time, but I'm calm, I'm focused, and honestly, I had a pretty good week. Besides my museum job coming to a close, and the chipping of a temporary crown, September wasn't entirely bad. I've been holding out on the highlights... 

Here they are:

So I took a pottery class for the entire month of September. This is Meg Campbell. She is well known for her incredible clay work & pottery. I guess if you FINALLY get a chance to scratch off one of your bucket list items, you should make sure you learn from the best! Want to learn more about her? Just click here: http://meghogancampbell.com/index.html

I spent a delightful lunch time at Ocmulgee Traders in Downtown Macon. In typical Macon form, I went to have lunch alone and ended up sitting with the owner, two friends, and two new acquaintances. THIS is what it is like to work and live in or near downtown. You always bump into someone you know!

This weekend was the One City Art Festival in Macon. I actually went alone, and of course, in each venue I ran into people I know and adore. Here is one of the gallery/studio spaces at the Contemporary Arts Exchange.

Wine Club - aka weekly therapy - is going well! If it weren't for Brent and I becoming "friends" - our little group would have never formed. Here is a shot from one of our evenings!

One of my favorite people in Macon got married last weekend. About two weeks before her wedding, we threw a little shower for her at our friend Molly's home. Here is Molly's setting the table!

So I had a creme brulee at Lemongrass one day. I sure did. I had to share the photo.

Here are four of my friends from Stephanie's wedding. Jonathon, Stacey, Molly, and Derek.

One of the delicious items served at Stephanie's shower.

Wine Club at our friend Brent's house. Here is Molly hanging out, as Brent drinks wine and strums the guitar for us.

One of the best little lunch places in Macon has "reinvented" itself and is now called - Grow. Appropriate, because every thing is farm to table and locally sourced. I got a little snack spread with some friends.

I got the chance to witness one of the Macon Pops concerts at the Macon City Auditorium. I am so excited, my article in Macon Magazine should be on the stands tomorrow about the next concert!

Sometimes a girl just needs a good drink. The mixologist at Dovetail introduced me to the "Eye Opener." How cool is this restaurant? Well.. Southern Living made a point to feature it! See the article here:  http://thedailysouth.southernliving.com/2013/10/23/where-to-drink-now-dovetail-in-macon/

One of the fantastic pop up galleries during the One City Art Festival. Here you see my friend Eric O'Dell's work. He is being interviewed in the window of the gallery. Yes - these are paintings.. not photos.. want to see more? Click HERE: http://ericodell.net/home.html

It's football season and yes, I live in the part of the world where college football (SEC) is king. Got invited to my friend, Bill & Scott's home for a UGA game party.

Was so glad to see my friend Lisa (from down on the coast,) make it back home for a visit. We met up for lunch.

Another shot of the bridal shower at my friend Molly's home.

This is the Hay House - where the wedding took place. It's a beautiful historic home here in Macon,

More goodies at the bridal shower

Need I say more?

Our friend Shane from high school recently opened a pizza shop in downtown Macon. Good stuff!

I have tried many a brunch spot in downtown Macon - NOTHING beats Lemongrass's bottomless mimosas and the Charleston Nasty. This is a piece of fried chicken on a buttermilk biscuit with Kerry Gold White Cheddar and smothered in sausage gravy. Word.

Me & Stephanie at her bridal shower at Molly's home.

Thai Spring Rolls at Lemongrass. Lord. Have. Mercy.

My friend Bill & I at his GEORGIA BULLDAWG party

Lynn & Bill

One of my master pieces. lol

Hanging out late at night at Doughboy Pizza in downtown with Derek and Molly

Brunch at Lemongrass with Stacey, Jeff, and Angel

The beautiful bride at her shower

Stacie, Angel & I at the reception at Stephanie's wedding

Bulldawg time

Me before the wedding - all dolled up!

Molly's home for the shower

I sure do miss living in Birmingham sometimes....

We call it a power lunch. lol Hanging out at Grow with one of the best attorney's in town - Dallas, and PR Darling Molly.

Wine club - Lynn, Me, and Brent. We refer to him as Brenty

Wedding reception at the Hay House. Me, Stacey & Molly

INCREDIBLE concert

Go Dawgs! - And Football food.

 Needless to say - life could be worse. ;-) I'm hanging in there, I feel good, and I think October is going to bring really GOOD things in my life. I feel it. Just like the leaves are changing, and the sun is setting just a little earlier... it's time to transition into another adventure!

Ciao, September

A comedian once said, "When you wake up, hold your hands up in front of you and push. If there is nothing, it's okay. You lived." I assume he was referring to a coffin. This morning was sort of like that. I woke up, I rolled over, and I sort of just lay there. I'm awake. I'm breathing. That's about it.

Yes, I'm being ever so slightly melodramatic, but I've got to be honest with myself - I'm a little blah. Blah over how everything has turned out in my life, though please know, I recognize I am incredibly lucky compared to others. I am grateful for what I have, and for who I have become. I worked extremely hard to expose myself to as many things as possible, and for whatever reason, I find myself surrounded by some of the most interesting people, where ever I go... 

It's just that I feel stuck. 

Granted, I am sure it's a fleeting thing, and maybe I'm just being whiny. I think that cut from the museum, financially, did a number on me. Remember the movie, "Friday?"
 

Yeah, that's how I feel. lol

The good news - IT'S ALMOST OCTOBER. 

  If that is not reason to celebrate, I don't know what is! As you may know, historically September is very mean to me. My room mate and I were discussing it, and I listed out the dates of really big things that have happened to me (that were NOT happy,) and they all took place in September. Even she admitted, there seems to be a bit of a curse.

The good news is, Autumn is upon us! (One of my favorite seasons.) I bought a glittery jack-o-lantern that has a little light in it to celebrate. Yeah, I know.. cheesy. 

The cheese festival is taking place in Atlanta this weekend, as well as the One City Art Fest in Macon. As far as things to do - there are plenty! I talked the roomie into picking out a pumpkin to carve, and I certain hope someone throws a costume party! Not to mention, I finally get to break out those scarves I collect all year. 

There is so much to look forward to and be thankful for. 

Oh yeah.. I have something sort of funny to share. (Yes, the blog post is all over the damn place...) October will be no man October. I can't date during this month. No flirting. No nothing. Sound silly? It's not. I'm purging. I need a clean slate. Certain people are taking up too much of my time and too much space in my head. (And the truth is.. these situations will lead nowhere - so why waste my time?)

Sound good? lol We'll see.. We'll see..

So with that - Let's bid September a fond adieu. Time to roll on and embrace the holiday season! (Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas.)

 So throw the confetti, blow the horns, shoot off the fireworks..

Outside of losing some of my income, chipping a tooth, and ending a few dating prospects - I have survived. (Granted it's only 9:18am.. ) But a girl can dream, right?

And So It Ends.. or Begins?

Well one of my journeys has run its course. Another chapter has closed, and I am left to figure things out again.

That's right, my position, though recently cut from full time to part time (for the past two months) with the museum has been cut completely. 

And that's how the cookie crumbles.

I could sit here and pound out all of the things I think they should have cut, or done better, or whatever, but what would that accomplish?

The truth is - I loved the art. I enjoyed the history. I had a blast at the events, and to be perfectly honest, it gave me an opportunity to reestablish myself in my home town.

There is one glaring fact though - I might need to completely back away from non-profits. With this economy, it is incredibly hard to be self sustaining, and it seems positions are cuts, repositioned, or you are told your skills are of no use at this point in time (a little too often.) I've seen friends at other nonprofits experience the same hardship. Over and over and over...

Not to worry my friends, I have some great contract work (freelancing) with some organizations. My little "working for myself" is going to keep me afloat. Of course, now my level of fun will have to be contained, but I will be fine for now. 

I did have a really great interview with a local health system recently. Made it through the one on one and the panel. I have another with a historic house here in town on the 11th. I'll keep shooting out resumes, and if I don't land anything around here by December, it may be time for me to head out again.

Yes, I would like to just settle with one company for a bit. I need some normalcy. But in the meantime, I am just gliding through, and waiting to see what God has up his sleeve for me!

It's Going To Be A Challenge

You know those days that you wake up to, and after careful review of what is coming up, you know it will be a great challenge?

I am about to embark on one of those days.

It's funny how the universe sort of unfolds and reveals what it needs to show you, especially if you stop long enough to contemplate what it is you need. I often pray to God for a sign, some sort of pause, or even a solution I did not think of - and though the outcome sort of leaves me confused, I figure out very quickly that it was just what I needed.

Today, I do believe, is going to be one of those days.

I would like to say I have a little peace about it. If what I think is about to happen is something I have actually sort of looked forward to, but then again, I could be wrong. (I often am.)

2014 has really been a year of tying up loose ends and learning to let go of things not meant for me. I feel like I have been on one great big transition roller coaster, and unfortunately, due to the public nature of my job and lack of anonymity in a more tightly knit community, I have been unable to share with you guys as much as I used to back when I lived in Birmingham. Which in turn makes my writing very cryptic and emotionally topsy turvy. Perhaps, soon, I will be able to divulge all.

With that being said, I am preparing myself for a potentially emotionally draining day. It won't be the first of its kind, but it is definitely never easy. Then again, my signals could be crossed and its not what I expected at all.

As for what's been going on with me outside of this cryptic post - just lots of good times with friends, covering some fascinating stories for local publications, and trying very hard to eat a bit more healthily (again.) It's all a process, right?

Wine club was a huge success again. My little group of besties are so much fun. We officially consist of two guys and me and my roomie. From time to time, other people join us. This week we were laughing hysterically at some text messages one of our people was receiving from a girl who is pretty much turning into a massive stalker situation - complete with pics of her in her underwear. LOL WOW. We were all laughing at how consistently this girl kept texting this poor guy, and he was barely responding. She is just not getting the hint. Soooo sad.

My pottery/clay class ends tonight. Thank goodness. It was not as much fun as I had hoped. I am terrible at it. At least I gave it a try. I need to stick to what I am good at - dancing. ;-)

Alright my favorite peeps... have a fantastic day. I'm going to try to pull it together enough to rise above whatever challenges face me. I only have a few more days in the God forsaken month. Today the shoe may fall and give me that REALLY bad thing.. but that's okay. I'm ready. And sometimes.. adversity actually brings us opportunity.

:-) 

Things I Have Learned This Week

1. There are things I still want out of life. I'm 41, it is important I recognize what my needs are, and do everything within my power to provide the life I have always dreamed of. It is within me, I just need to remember that.

2. I keep making promises to myself about my weight. I keep breaking those promises. I need to hold myself accountable and makes some changes. Maybe this time.. maybe.

3. I'm not always good at reading the signals. Many times I misinterpret what is actually happening. I need to be more patient with myself. Actions speak louder than words.

4. I'm ready to purge items from my home. I just want to turn a new leaf. Maybe a complete purge is necessary to move forward.

5. I spent some much needed time with myself today. I attended a delicious brunch with friends, took myself book shopping and jewelry shopping. I feel so much better.

6. My ex husband and I have put some distance between ourselves - so those loose ends are all tied up. My ex boyfriend moved back to his hometown in Florida - so those loose ends are all tied up. Plus I know where I stand with everyone else, so really, my personal life is officially a blank slate. I think I am ready to move forward.

7. My health, my happiness, my ability to feel content - I think these are my goals at this point in time. I am making some changes in order to feel my best and be my best.

8. I need to set some boundaries with some people in my life. I think if I don't, things could end badly.

9. After taking a few weeks of a pottery/clay class.. um.. an artist I am not. ;-)

10. Finally, it is Saturday night. I could have gone out. I could have attended two different events. I chose to stay home. Yep.

Eleven Years Ago Today

I've always been a stickler for getting my yearly exams. You would think I would eat better and exercise more, considering how fanatical I am about taking care of your health. Believe it or not, outside of the salty chips and ridiculous amounts of condiments I like to taste, I do try to make good decisions. But not always.

Which is why it is hard for me to make a phone call today. I have to call my gynecologist and cancel my yearly exam. I don't have insurance, through no fault of my own. My job made some hard cuts, and I was made part-time - which means, no benefits. Sure, it will be a delay in having the exam, but for me delays are sort of scary.

You see, eleven years ago today, I had a hysterectomy. It was a surgery that in essence saved my life. We caught those cancerous cells early - through early detection. Granted, my body was not responding to the various smaller surgeries leading up to the big one, and even after that, about two years later it tried to metastasize in a different form (which led to a topical chemo treatment,) it was that yearly exam and early detection that made all of the difference.

Literally - eleven years today. My ability to ever give birth and my ability to not hit menopause a little early was taken away. I'm okay with the decision, but I find it such a coincidence that my reminder came in the mail for my appointment next week, and I can't go. 

Oh September. You just keep em coming.

Where are the signs?

September, September, September. You naughty little b*tch. 

I guess life wants to taunt me a little bit more. 

*smh*

Let's start with ragweed. Seriously - I am congested. I am coughing. I have sniffles. I have sinus pressure. 

God forbid I get a sinus infection. (No insurance at this point in time.)

Then I noticed my poor little Salvatore (who luckily has gone months without his URI, has started hacking up a lung, also. 

Geez.

Is it too late to hop a boat and just escape? I'm only about 2 1/2 hours from the ports in Savannah.. I mean.. it is not that far fetched.

Okay, okay.. let me not blame the month and everything else on why I don't feel good. Let's deal with what is really bothering.

This shower I went to today. Okay, not the shower, (because I LOVE who we threw it for..) it is just that subtle reminder that I am alone. So yes, it was a wedding shower. At least two of the girls there were engaged, and every one else for the most part was married, in a relationship, or just starting one. Then there was me.

Let's not forget, even the ole question about the job was sort of.. well.. I got nothing. 

Yes, I am freelancing, and yes the money is coming together nicely - but I have three more months with one contract that really keeps me afloat, and then I am on God's good grace. I've tried to keep my job search to my current vicinity, because I have a room mate, and it affects her also. But I am beginning to get nervous. I need something to come through (and yes, I have some irons in the fire - I've applied to three really good prospects.) 

But when I think about it, really take the time to think about it - why am I still here? Nothing is holding me here anymore. No significant other.  No child in school. No good job. Yes, my family is near by, but I rarely see them. Plus, they'll be perfectly fine without me.

I think Macon provided a nice little reprieve, while I sorted some things out. But honestly, maybe this is God's way of saying it is time to just move on.

This is what I am battling right now. 

Honestly, my whole sense of purpose seems limited. I'm calm - but being realistic. I don't know what to do. I truly do not. 

Everyone around me keeps saying the same old sh*t - "It'll work out." Yeah.. yeah.. I know. But that does not solve my current problem. 

I guess, at the end of the day, I just need something to look forward to.