Can you believe we have four more months until the year ends?? Say it isn't so!
Yes, the time has flown waaaay faster than I can handle. There are still so many things I wanted to accomplish in 2010 - I wonder if there is still enough time?
I went digging through my posts and yes, I found the "New Year's Resolution" piece back in Dec/Jan. I think it is time I revisit and see if I can check off anything on that list. (I have a feeling.. it's not going to be good!!) However (and here is the kicker) I wrote my resolutions in September. Why? Well... September basically kicks my a$$ and I wanted to concentrate on something.
With September fast approaching, let's take a look at my September Resolutions:
For the full version of the story click HERE. Now - let's take a look at Sept. 09's hopes & dreams:
1. Exercise - again. Some how I fell off the wagon (literally, I have a chronically sprained ankle.) But I have got to move. Must Must Must. Not so much to lose weight, even though I need to, just to feel the energy and make my heart a little healthier.
Okay - I can generally say I have tried to get back on the wagon. From a personal trainer to ballroom dancing to joining the Y - I have attempted this. Not at 100% but it is JUST September.
2. Daily Devotion. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I buy books to force me to spend a little time in "the word" (as people call it.) I need to schedule time to actually do this. I never forget to eat to feed my body. I need to read -to feed my soul.
Opps. Not even close - I got even further away from this one. Okay, okay.. this is an easy fix. No day to start like today!
3. Volunteer someplace new. I always add a little activity each year. Last year I became a youth leader at church. The year before I became a dog walker at the Humane Society. This year I would like to serve the under privileged. Need to do a little research on a group that does not get as much attention (as say - a Jimmy Hale mission.)
Hmmm.. did not come close. Almost forgot about that. However, one of the things the youth director/minister at my church asked me to take care of was to call around and find a homeless shelter/soup kitchen the kids could volunteer at. DONE!
4. I want to do something about this immigration BS. I am quite the little advocate - I think I need to hook up with my friends who try to make things happen. I am going to jump on that band wagon and try to push for a change.
I actually stepped away from this one. On purpose. Most of the immigration piece people are pushing for now is amnesty for illegals. I don't necessarily support illegals gaining citizenship - as I am for making it a bit easier and less expensive for foreigners to gain temporary work visas and make it easier for fiance/alien to marry.
5. Clearing up some past debt. Yep. Piece by piece. Starting with the IRS. Oh yes - I have an ex-husband who left some things for me to clean up. Let's pretend this is tennis. I filled out some forms to protect myself - the ball is in his court now.
DONE!
6. Work. Either re wake the spirit that brought me here - or make some changes. Something has got to give.
DONE!
7. I WILL learn to sew. I put this on my list each year. I have got to learn to do it. I have sooo many ideas - yet, I can't even sew a button. Someone out there will help me. I guess I need a machine first.
Making plans now!
8. I want to do a mission trip. Where do I look?
Put on hold. Interests changed. Going to Bangkok, Thailand instead.
9. I will head back to dance class. Flamenco - here I come. I promise- Sept.
Changed the format of dance... but I did go back!
10. I want to take some photography classes. I found a program online - 16-months. I am seriously considering pursuing this. This is for the future.
I really need to do this. Just got to figure out the finances first.
11. Change this cynical little attitude of mine. I realize I will always be cynical - but I can add a little encouragement also. I am capable. I just choose the wrong avenue to take.
It comes.. it goes...
12. Get those little things fixed: head back to the dentist, go to the gyno, get that mammo I avoided last year - work on the other little body parts I keep putting off.
I am back at the dentist, did go to the gyno (all good) - got that mammo - ooooh my ... that was a scare, remember??? Done!
13. Re-planting my herb garden. I need to brush up on container planting. (Since I do not have a yard.)
Just planted aloe in containers. Slowly.. but surely. I want to see if I can keep these succulents alive. If I kill these.. then I am doomed for sure.14. Find a yoga or meditation class.
I found the yoga - now.. meditation.. yes.. let's see if I can find that!
15.The Egyptian has seen many pics with my hair long - and has asked for me to grow it out. I can do that.. let's see what will happen in one year!!
Doing it!
16. Head back to the theater. Some way.. some how.. head back where I belong.
Hmmm.. not sure if I still want this one.
17. Paint this apt. If I plan on staying here.. (which remains to be seen) - let's make it home.
Hmmm.. well.. I have not revealed something, sooo.. here it goes. The egyptian wants to move to a much larger city (north, north, north) where there is public transportation. He gives us to February..... the ultimatum - if we can't figure it out by Feb - we're moving out of country. My HOPE is to talk him out of it. But you KNOW he HATES Alabama. Imagine why?? ;-)
18. I need a 5-year plan. I make strategic plans for work all the time - what about my plan??
See above.. working on it.. Priority One!
19. I want to plan a BIG family trip. Surprise them all.
Maybe for Thanksgiving???
20. Clean out my storage. Time to simply.. and Go Green. Can I do it??
OOh.. I think I put this one off each weekend! I have a few vacation days coming up - I will do it then!
What about you??? What did you hope and plan to do in 2010? You onlyhave 4 months!!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Why was I placed in THIS position?
That's a really good question.
I would have to answer with a very loud - YES.
I hate to even open up this can of worms on my blog. I try to not taint my "cyber pages" with hate rhetoric or taking it to such a controversial level that it would turn any of my readers off. But here's the thing - I am living with this and I need to share with you MY point of view.
Facts: I am a Christian. The oldest kind - 2,000 years to be exact - I am Roman Catholic. My husband is a Sunni Muslim from Egypt.
By marrying this man, I have inherited a hardship most Americans can only imagine... I am living in the middle of a holy war - a personal jihad - but with the thoughts of friends and co-workers I come in contact with. Here's the clincher - I am on the side of a better, safer America, but I will defend any "religious group" and their rights to live in peace.
It started quite innocently when I got married. Many people said, "So - what is HIS religion?" I would answer plainly, "He's a muslim."
Followed by.. "So, he does not live in America? How do you know he is not a terrorist?"
Yep.. that's where it all began.
Then during the Presidential election, I got to see people tear Barack Obama apart and claim that he is a muslim. My first reaction was, So WHAT? Is there a rule against believing something other than Christianity and running the country? But to answer the question, no - no he is not a muslim.
Then it was a matter of building a community center (not mosque) a few blocks away from Ground Zero. I would defend their zoning and 1st amendment rights.. then turn to some local muslims I know and ask, "Why isn't anyone standing up and saying anything? Apologizing?" Then one friend turned to me and said, "Why should I apologize for what someone else did - something I would never do, nor does my religion condone?"
Good answer.
Look - I don't know why GOD put me in this position to be married to such a devout muslim. Nor do I know why I was born with a mind that makes me want to protect human rights for freedoms that we, as Americans, take for granted. Yes, I do believe the basic doctrines of Christianity. But I also know that God gave us free will - and to force others to be just like you - is not what God had in mind.
I spend a large majority of time trying to sort through the muck of these religious and political debates. A clear "hate" line is forming, and it is such a sad sight to see. I fear for the future. I am going to share with you some of the comments I have received on various items on Facebook (where all good passive-aggressive debates begin. LOL)
I want you to read them with an open mind. Put yourself in my place for just a minute. Then tell me how you would react. Just so you know - this is the type of crap I have to deal with on a daily basis. Do I sit back and smile and listen to people say things like this? Or do I challenge them or defend?
Let's start with this one:
It all began with one of my friends stating he was not surprised that Obama said it is perfectly legal to build the community center. Now.. get ready for a long read - if that is not what you are in the mood for - close this post now!
At the end - I would like to know what your thoughts are on how many Americans are treating an entire religious group..
Now... go.... :
John Palmer haha! shocker!! he's on the wrong side of another issue...who would have thought?
August 13 at 10:42pm · Nicole Thurston Abdou :-( Are you saying muslims should not have the right to choose a place to worship freely? They have every right according to the constitution to own land and worship in any form they choose. Should all muslims be condemned for a fringe gro...up? I don't believe he said anything that was inappropriate. He was just stating the laws of the land. Would it be better if it were a church? Because Trinity Church is just around the corner from Ground Zero? Should it instead be a Jewish Temple? I think by showing acceptance, we heal. Nor do I think innocent muslims have to apologize for a group of criminals. See More
August 13 at 10:48pm · · John Palmer Nicole, are you serious? Or is this a "devil's advocate" response?
August 13 at 11:33pm · Chad Gibbs Nichole - you know that I believe in freedom of religion, for all religions. Americans are always expected to be "sensitive" to others, hence the rise of this overbearing emphasis on political correctness. Why doesn't that apply to ALL Am...ericans? It seems to only apply to Americans who aren't in a minority. I know there are good Muslims who mean no harm to anyone, but this is so obviously a slap in the face of most Americans, and certainly "insensitive" to those who lost friends and family on 9/11. Why can't this Muslim group be a little more "sensitive" and find a more suitable place for this mosque? There are certainly areas that are less expensive, have better parking and easier access than right there at the site of the worst attack on our country - an attack was orchestrated and performed by Muslims. That is just a fact. I know you're married to a Muslim and I know that he didn't fly an airplane into any buildings, but that doesn't mean that the ones that did can rub our noses in it. Muslims historically build mosques and monuments at the site of great victories. This is a continuation of that practice.See More
August 13 at 11:51pm · LikeUnlike · 1 person
Janet Zarecor As someone who lives in and New York and breathes it, lives it and begs for it everyday, there is much more to this than can ever be discussed or sorted out here. It's not like Obama is the "bad guy". Because you have suddenly been made a...ware of it, he had to comment on it. What you have been seen five seconds of has been discussed and dissected and put back together and dissected again on our local news every morning for a very long time. The decision was made WITHIN NEW YORK CITY before he weighed in. So if you are looking for someone to blame, start looking somewhere else. As for New Yorkers opinions, well frankly you would not be surprised where their hearts are but you would be about the actual vote based on the laws of our country and the history of this city.
August 14 at 12:22am · LikeUnlike · 1 person
Nicole Thurston Abdou John Palmer - I am very serious. Chad - I don't expect you to agree or even understand where I am coming from. I just wanted to state the facts. Janet, well stated.
August 14 at 12:29am · · Chad Gibbs Would you support the KKK building some sort of assemly hall or monument in Selma, AL? It would be their right to do it. Just sayin... But for the record, I wouldn't be in favor of that either.
August 14 at 12:32am viaChad Gibbs Janet - I don't quite follow some of what you said... I am not "just aware" of this story. I've followed it for weeks and weeks.
August 14 at 12:33am NicoleThurston Abdou Islam is a religion and not a hate group.
August 14 at 12:34am · · Janet Zarecor Its been going on for almost a year if not longer.
August 14 at 12:35am · Nicole Thurston Abdou Are you seriously comparing Islam to the KKK?
August 14 at 12:35am · Chad Gibbs I didn't compare anything to anything. You know what I meant. And all of Islam is not a peaceful religion. There IS a militant, extremist arm of Islam and to ignore that fact is naïve. My only real point is that there are plenty of places (better places) to build this mosque. Just for giggles, I wonder what would happen if a baptist church were built next door to this mosque? Who would exist there peacefully? Good night ladies. I love both of yous. Seriously.
August 14 at 12:43amPalmer This is not a complicated issue. Nicole, as a Muslim wife, certainly you understand the intention of any project titled "Cordoba". That name was not chosen by mistake. The intention of this mosque is to celebrate the conquest of southern Ma...nhattan by Islamists and Sharia. Constitutionality has nothing to do with this issue. The Japanese would not be allowed to build a Buddhist Temple and Cultural Center in the middle of Pearl Harbor. They would be denied access based on local zoning laws. This mosque should be denied on the same basis.See More
August 14 at 8:27am · Nicole Thurston Abdou John I am married to a Muslim, I am catholic - thanks for sharing your perspective. I try to weed through some items that may be based on "anger" of a religion versus facts. No - I do not know the zoning laws of the area, however, if we wer...e basing this conversation on if it is right or wrong for Obama to support the Muslims in building a community center, then rightfully so and I don't see how what he is supporting is wrong. Honestly. If there are truly zoning issues - then I would agree. But apparently things are passing, and whatever is going on in NYC is left up to the people of that area. I think we all have to aware of whether our reactions are due to hate/fear/anger/sadness or out of facts. Here's the clincher, I may be married to a muslim, but I am a strong catholic. I have traveled and a majority of my friends are from other countries. I have hosted exchange students from every religious background. (Even an Iraqi.) I just think we need to be careful with our words and the motives behind it - that's all.See More
August 14 at 9:13am ·John Palmer Nicole, you being married to a Muslim has nothing to do with the issue...except that I thought you would understand "Cordoba"! Apparently I was wrong. Cordoba was the capital of the Islamic Caliphate in Spain during the Middle Ages. It is a... symbol to Muslims of the advance of the Caliphate into the Western world. Islamists believe that any land that once belonged to Muslims is part of the Caliphate and must be reconquered. That is why the mosque at Ground Zero was originally named Cordoba. The people behind this mosque are Islamists attempting to establish a beachhead for the Caliphate in America.See More
August 14 at 11:02am · Nicole Thurston Abdou Please do not insult my intelligence. I was referring to you calling me a muslim wife. Clearly you do not know me, and I will respectfully remove myself from this conversation. I do know what Cordoba was and was choosing not to address that. وسأواصل للصلاة من اجل لكم لتفقد جهلك.
August 14 at 11:05am · John Palmer Those of us who oppose the mosque do not do so out of hatred or fear. Those of you who support the mosque shouldn't do so out of ignorance. I don't care how much you've traveled or that you have an Iraqi friend. You obviously don't understand the issues in this case. I don't need to defend myself by listing all the countries I've visited or how many Iraqi friends I have. You should be able to clearly articulate your point in defending an Islamist takeover of Ground Zero.
August 14 at 11:05am · John Palmer If you know what Cordoba is, then you understand clearly what the building of this mosque means, and you're defending it anyway...by choosing not to address the salient points! That makes your defense of Islamist intentions even worse!
August 14 at 11:13am · Brad Gibbs I like cheese. It's good on so many things.
August 14 at 11:35am ·
Cherie Smith Carter LOL, Brad... you are too funny!!
August 14 at 11:48am · Michael Goddard Here's my position on the Mosque: People who are willing to kill people for making a cartoon of Mohamed, because they were 'offended', should do the right thing and put the Mosque somewhere else. Yes, they have the 'right' to put it there..., but it's not the 'right' thing to do. Where are all the people that think the Constitution provides us the 'right not-to-be-offended' on this, when there will be millions of people 'offended' by them building a Mosque next to where Muslims killed thousands of people?See More
August 14 at 1:13pm · Michael Goddard btw...who cares what Obama thinks? I care more about what my dog thinks than him.
August 14 at 1:14pm · Jim Burton Proud of Obama...yadda, yadda. Great example of tolerance...yadda, yadda. Can't say things better than Nicole did. Go get 'em sister. I'm too tired to type anything eloquent this morning. I'll get your back after I've had (more) coffee.
August 15 at 10:26am · Chad Gibbs Hi Jim! Good to see ya. Tolerance of what exactly? Why is it considered "tolerance" to support a mosque being built AT ground zero and "intolerance" to support a mosque being built a couple of blocks down from ground zero? Either way, N...YC muslims have a place to worship. Move down the block and everyone is happy, assuming the only desire in building the mosque is to have a place to worship. Is there some sort of significance in this exact location for those building the mosque? If so, I wonder what that significance is...? Could it possibly be a "flag in the ground" statement? Nah, it couldn't be. I mean, Obama has completely healed our relationships with Islamic Republics, so that COULDN'T be it... :)See More
August 15 at 11:17am via Gibbs You know what, I think I'll chime in (aren't you all glad?). I'm really more upset with the city leaders who haven't rebuilt the towers. I think the Muslims should build their mosque right there and then watch as we rebuild the towers and show them that they didn't defeat us. Let's get the NYC leaders off their lazy butts and rebuild the towers exactly as they were on 9/10/01.
August 15 at 11:27am · LikeUnlike · 1 person
Brad Gibbs And I'm with my bro on the use of the word "tolerance." It's a condescending word libs use to paint us in a certain light. Why aren't you guys "tolerant" of our views?? Why weren't you guys "tolerant" of Bush's policies?? I've met many a lib who were only tolerant to those who agree with them.
August 15 at 11:31am ·Jim Burton I do not use the word tolerance with condescension. I'm aware that some do use it that way, but nearly everything can be a weapon these days in public discourse. I make an effort to extend my idea of tolerance to all people. Tolerance doe...s not, however extend to "views" or "policies". It is perfectly natural to disagree with views or policies as wrongheaded, and still be tolerant of the people who espouse these views or policies. For instance, I do not agree with radical Islam's policies regarding the west, but I have to separate "radical" from "Islam". I am also guilty of intolerant and bigoted thoughts...I have to admit that I look a second time at someone wearing a headscarf boarding my plane...that's just human nature. Where we diverge from bare human nature is the rational quelling of those fears and the actions that are brought forth from this rationality.
I think the idea of the Mosque being a "flag in the ground" statement is rushing to judgment unnecessarily at best and at worst, fear-mongering. Remember, it wasn't Islam that brought about 9/11, but radical activists that happened to be Muslim and use their beliefs to justify their actions. Would we object to a church being built a block from the Oklahoma Trade Center because McViegh was Christian and used Christianity as a pillar of the belief system that brought him to bomb that building? It happens with all religions.
Further, to borrow a tenant of Christianity..."Turn the other cheek"...wouldn't this be an example of turning the other cheek? Doesn't that phrase have, at its heart, the idea that someone in a struggle has to be the one to relent and forgive? Wouldn't the open arms acceptance of this Mosque say something powerful to the Islamic people? Obama has taken a huge and brave risk in standing up for this Mosque politically. From the far right conspiracy theorists who believe he is actually a secret Muslim, to the moderate right who would charge that he's soft on national security, he has set himself up for political attack to, I believe, reach out for tolerance. One hopes that this tolerance is noticed and reciprocated. It was an incredibly brave move...this coming from a far left Liberal who is getting down on Obama lately for his lax positions on some of my core concerns...DADT, Gay Marriage, ect.
See More
August 15 at 12:57pm · LikeUnlike · 1 person
Chad Gibbs Jim - would you agree that it would really go a long way for the peaceful followers of Islam to make a strong statement against the militant and extremist arm of the religion? I hear them say that, "Islam is a religion of peace", but I nev...er hear them continue with, "... and we denounce those who kill innocent people in the name of Islam." I will say it now, loud and clear, that I DENOUNCE Timothy McViegh and any other supposed Christian that would kill innocent people anywhere in the world. I will not stand for anyone to use the name of my religion to cause harm to others. See More
August 15 at 1:31pm · Angie Grant i wonder what the indians thought about the settlers first church?
August 15 at 2:06pm · Jim Burton I would agree about that, Chad. But I've heard countless examples of prominent Clerics and Imams denouncing the violent sects of their religion in the news. I'm sure that a simple internet search for this would yield many results. But to... put it more anecdotally, as you did, I have three friends, all Muslim, Anila, Aqksa, and Nur, Anila and Aqksa being from Pakistan, Nur being from Turkey, who all denounce violence in Islam. I had two students just this semester, Rula from Dubai (who also wore a headscarf) and Neda from Palestine who also were eager to engage in discussions of tolerance and understanding with me and the rest of the class. But I feel this is neither here nor there. Tolerance sometimes starts with one party. We shouldn't be tolerant just because someone else is or isn't...we should just be tolerant. I want to stress that this isn't only a moral issue, it's a practical one. Someone has to break the chain. Why not us?See More
August 15 at 2:20pm · Chad Gibbs Angie - I'm sure the Indians weren't very "tolerant" of those first Christian churches and the Indians were truly wronged in many ways as Europeans settled North America. 1. That's in the past and there's nothing we can do to change it no...w. The issue with the mosque is in the present and there's plenty that we can do to make this right. Two wrongs don't make a right. 2. Americans have, on many occasions, acknowledged that Indians weren't treated properly and have also apologized on many occasions.
Now, come back over and hang out. I need some Angie-time!See More
August 15 at 7:17pm · Jim Burton Okay, all. I have to retract something. I just learned that Timothy McVeigh was not a Christian and was not acting out of the tenants of Christianity when plotting the OKC bombing. I used this as a hypothetical in an earlier statement, a...nd only feel it right to retract that simile.
That is all. Nothing else to see here. See More
August 17 at 9:31am · Chad Gibbs Thanks for the clarification, Jim. I still denounce Timothy McVeigh on the basis of anything I have in common with him. I denounce him as a male, as a white person, as a fellow human being... etc. I was just wondering, if the mosque is b...uilt, will the Mulsims there be tolerant if someone opens a bbq joint across the street? Or a strip club? Or even a Christian Church? Or will it be intolerance on the behalf of the other party to do that? Is tolerance a two-way street or a one-way street? How do we determine, when two parties disagree, which is being tolerant and which isn't? I feel that we are already much more tolerant than they are. I mean, how many Christian Churches exist peacefully in Iran? I would bet that we already have more mosques in NYC than there are Christian Churches in the entire middle east. So, just because we don't prefer a mosque at ground zero, are we really being that grossly intolerant??See More
August 17 at 10:45am · Brad Gibbs LOL @ "Nothing else to see here." I always thought that was the case with the OKC bombing too, Jim, so don't feel bad! I guess the left-wing liberal media fooled us all, huh?? LOL
August 17 at 10:53am · Brad Gibbs I like the idea of a Southern BBQ joint right across the street! I have always wanted my own business, I love BBQ, I love political confrontations... What do you think Chad? Should we relocate to NYC and open "Pork-fil-a" right across the street? Anybody else have any good name ideas for our new BBQ restaurant??
August 17 at 11:12am · LikeUnlike
The Human Odyssey
I need to begin by reiterating that I do not review books. However, this book is really, really cool.
The author, Thomas Armstrong, Ph.D is apparently a renowned educator, parenting expert, veteran workshop leader, and successful author. I have to say - I am captivated by what he has accomplished in this book.
He has taken the 12 life stages and broken them down into little pieces. Comparing and contrasting folk lore to history to biology to psychology to philosophy. Intense in the scope and amazing in the long run.
Just so you know, there are 12 stages in the human life. He breaks each one down per chapter. Here is a look at what the subjects are:
Prebirth: The Undiscovered Continent
Birth: Through the tunnel
Infancy: Legends of the Fall
Early Childhood: The Magical Mystery Years
Middle Childhood: Entering the Civilized World
Late Childhood: Becoming Part of a Crowd
Adolescence: Adventures into the Twilight Zone
Early Adulthood: Building an Independent Life
Midlife: Through the Muddy Waters
Mature Adulthood: Scaling the Peaks
Late Adulthood: Approaching the Horizon
Death & Dying: Crossing the Bridge
Beyond Death: Travel to Other Lands
Then he concludes with - Planting your oar in the sand.
If human growth and development is interesting to you - then pick up this book. You won't be disappointed. Right now I am in the Midlife chapter. (Figuratively and literally.) This is clearly speaking to me, according to the book - I am in mid-life right now. (35 - 49)
One of the things I like about the book is that at the end of each chapter he will give you "Ways to explore and support _____" For example, since I am in "Midlife" here is what he suggests:
For Yourself:
1. Keep a journal of your dreams, visions, reflections, and feelings as you begin to experience the sense of becoming an older person.
2. Make a list of all the things you want to do in your life3 before you die. Then start doing them.
3. Go over the goals you've had for your life as an adult, and see if they are still relevant to your current life. If not, then modify them accordingly.
For Friends & Family:
1. Gather friends into a "midlife" support group that meets regularly to discuss social, emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual changes going on in your lives.
2. Support a friend or family member who may be going through a "midlife crisis" by offering counsel, friendship, and/or referral to an appropriate mental health professional or program.
3. Help a midlife friend or family member who has been "downsized" find another job or career.
For the Community:
1. Start a women's or men's group for middle-aged adults in your community to help them cope with major life transitions in relationship, jobs and/or illness.
2. Contribute financially to a woman's midlife health center that serves the poor or indigent.
Volunteer at an organization that provides midlife career advice or job placement services.
Pretty neat, huh? I realize the Midlife portion is probably the most boring.. but fascinating all the same.
Remember a couple of weeks ago I was pondering the idea of the "Great Exit".. last night I came to a place in the book that confirms - at this stage in my life - you begin to THINK about death more often. I will close with the excerpt from the book, I think you might find it fascinating:
"For many creative individuals, midlife actually feels like death. The philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche wrote to a friend, "I am at the end of the 35th year of my life... for 1.500 years they called this period the 'midlife point of life'.... But I, at the midpoint of life, am so 'in the midst of death' that i may take me hourly..." The main character in Dotoyevsky's "Notes from the Underground" declares, "I am forty years old now, and you know forty years is a whole lifetime; you know it is extreme old age. To live longer than forty years is bad manners, is vulgar, immoral." Jungian psychologist Maria von Franz suggested that the puer aeternus (eternal youth) who has refused to grow up as an adult, may be at risk for an early death at this time if he has not make a firm commitment to adult responsibilities. I remember being terrified by this pronouncement when I read von Franz's book in my early thirties. Somewhat of a man-child myself, unmarried, and conflicted about whether I wanted to continue to work with children or not, I did, in fact, go through a depression at the age of thirty-seven when I had trouble eating, sleeping, functioning at work due to an obsession with the fear of death."
Need I say more? ;-)
Monday, August 23, 2010
Trust - Part Two
I was trying to help my sister get back into the game of writing for her blog again. I thought I would give her 7 words for 7 days. I randomly wrote the first words that came to mind. I gave her trust. You can read her entry at Phantasmagorical Literarium. I have to say, her entry was almost heart breaking. Why? Because I feel like I played a role in some of her issues with trust.
Here's the thing - I can be a blatant bitch when I want to be. Let me rephrase, I don't want to be a bitch - I just am. I hate that about me. Hell, even as a kid I was a little devil. Not at school. Not at ballet. But at home.
Our home was.. well.. explosive. Dad was always at work, mom was at home (a creative spirit stressed out with two kids and putting her dreams on hold.) She (the mom) has a very explosive temper - yelling was all too common. Name calling, insensitive reactions, and verbal slaps were her M.O. Guess what this little girl learned? Don't we pick up the actions, words, reactions of our parents.
I guess God created me to be quite the Survivor. For a little kid - I could seriously take some crap and you would hardly see a tear. I learned early on, tears are a sign of weakness and I should not waste one single one.
In turn, I took out my frustrations on my little sister. Mom used to play us against each other a little - showing a bit more attention, love, and praise to the younger one. I, in turn, learned a behavior that I am not proud of - I could prey on the weakness and use words in ways you could not believe to strike back at any one even attempting to steal my joy. Quick to analyze, quick to respond. Was excellent for debate - not so great for relationships.
I noticed something my sister wrote in her post - about worrying about kids picking on her for the way she looked. My God in heaven - I am guilty as charged. Kids are mean as hell - and I was super duper mean to my little sister.
It's not fair. It's not right. And I pray to God for forgiveness for ever making anyone cry based on anything I ever said.
Trust is a hard thing to find - and if those closest to you are not teaching you that you have a foundation that is strong and will protect you - how will you ever learn to trust? I know, because I never really felt that protection.
Whether or not my perception of past events are indeed reality - that is what I took away from the negative side of things. Yes, there was waaaaay more good. Yes, my parents are good people. Frustrations, aggravation - it's all a part of raising kids.
My hope is to learn to be more trustworthy. To learn to be that rock for those who may need it. If I can ever get to that point, wow - I will have accomplished the seemingly impossible.
Runs with Scissors
I decided it was time to figure out how these "blog hops" work - and I have to say, I am not sure I like it.
Basically, you are supposed to post some picture with a link on your blog (so others may link up) and of course- don't forget your own url. People will follow you, and you are supposed to follow them.
Here's the problem - I don't just "follow" people. I only follow you if I like your blog and actually want to read it and comment. I have to relate to you in some form or fashion. So, if you are reading this - I ultimately CHOSE to follow you for a reason.
I just noticed I gained about 2 new followers from this blog hop. They left comments - but I am not sure they even read the posts. I hope you did!
I was asked to join a blog (see comments in the previous post) that was a baby store. I did the right thing and visited the blog, but I do not need a baby store blog to read. I don't have kids. Nor will I ever give birth. I am not going to follow just to "follow." I did the other one - she apparently designs blogs. I am following her - because I could always use more tips.
That's my issue with blog hops. I don't want to increase traffic just to increase traffic. I want people to actually take a moment and CHOOSE to follow my blog because it makes sense to them.
*sigh*
I hope I don't sound cranky. :-$
Besides all of that - I have found 2 classes I need to decide between today - Water aerobics or Hype Nation Fitness (one is .. well.. water aerobics - the other is a hip hop aerobics class) Decisions.. Decisions..
I hope all is starting off well on your Monday. I promise to write about something "real" later. I just needed this disclaimer on that whole blog hop thing I attempted to try. Not my cup of tea, if you will....
Until next time
Sunday, August 22, 2010
There is a reason
There is no doubt about it, I had a very enlightening and culturally signifigant afternoon. So much so, I had to write about something I heard today.
Let's see if I can explain..
My husband (the egyptian) met a guy at his job named Farnell. Farnell is from Birmingham and I am not sure where he grew up, but he seems to be a really normal, regular guy. Nice, educated, truly a good guy. He and the egyptian became fairly good friends. I have a feeling the two of them discussed religion at great length at work, because Farnell invited the egyptian and I to his church.
For anyone new to my blog - my husband is a 5-times-a-day-praying-fasting-for-ramadan-devout-sunni muslim. I, on the other hand, am roman catholic.
Farnell is.. evangelical christian - at an african american church.
The egyptian was thrilled to go - he had always wanted to see a gospel choir, and I told him - it is truly something to see! Especially down here in the south, the african american churches with the gospel choirs are simply amazing.
We got the address last night as to where to go. I was not sure where Faith Chapel was, then I decided to Google it. It was located in Ensley. Ensley is the west side of Birmingham.
When I first moved to Birmingham from Macon, Georgia - I remembered asking people, "Hey, sooo where should I NOT go after dark?" Meaning - where are the high crime areas. 100% the response was Ensley. As time went on, I watched the news and read more information and it became apparent, this was the hot bed of prostitution, gangs and drugs.
Okay - so THAT is Ensley.
Now back to the church.
I am not one of those (and I am just going to say it) silly white people that freak out about going into the poorer neighborhoods of various ethnic groups. However, I am not a fool either. I mind my own business, do what I need to do, and that's about it. So - it was never an issue with me going there. Though some eyebrows raise anytime someone mentions that part of town.
This morning we prepared for "church" and headed down to Ensley - it takes about 25 minutes from where I live and we meandered through the streets and found the building.
As we drove up and got out of the car, you could almost see people stop in their tracks. Why? Well my dear readers - this is Alabama, not just Alabama - this is Birmingham, and not just Birmingham - this is the more segregated part of town. Don't be fooled my friends in different states, racial issues are alive and well in the deep south. If you are not familiar with the civil rights movement and the events that took place in Birmingham, AL - please click here: http://www.proseandphotos.com/birmingham.htm
See, many older african americans from Birmingham who actually witnessed and/or experienced the civil rights autrocities are still alive and walking around. I stepped foot across the invisible territory line - I was white and in Ensley and standing shoulder to shoulder with people from all types of backgrounds.
You must know this about me - I could care less about the fact I was the only white person. (Hello?? Egypt is in African.. technically I am married to an African..) But I am sensitive to the perception and I know all too well, what the people of Ensley deal with and have dealt with.
As we approached the church, a few older gentlemen gave me an odd look and said, "Good morning." I remained humble and smiled. Yes, I was sincerly grateful to be there. 30 years ago, in this very town - not only would I have been beaten for walking into this church (by the cops or "upstanding white people of the community").. the good people of this center could have experienced hardship beyond belief. Don't believe me? Do you know about the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham? This is just a few miles from where I was this morning - here is what wikipedia says about that church:
The 16th Street Baptist Church bombing was a racially motivated terrorist attack on September 15, 1963, by members of a Ku Klux Klan group in Birmingham, Alabama in the United States. The bombing of the African-American church resulted in the deaths of four girls. Although city leaders had reached a settlement in May with demonstrators and started to integrate public places, not everyone agreed with ending segregation. Other acts of violence followed the settlement. The bombing increased support for people working for civil rights. It marked a turning point in the U.S. 1960s Civil Rights Movement and contributed to support for passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The three-story Sixteenth Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama was a rallying point for civil rights activities through the spring of 1963, and is where the students who marched out of the church to be arrested during the 1963 Birmingham campaign's Children's Crusade were trained. The demonstrations led to an agreement in May between the city's African-American leaders and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) to integrate public facilities in the country.
At any rate, we entered the church looking for our good friend, Farnell. He, of course was late, and we were asked to wait in the lobby. As people entered in droves.. some lifted eyebrows, some made a point to smile and be welcoming.. and some just looked surprised!
Farnell finally made it in, and we entered the Sanctuary. We had to file into the pews.. and then the usher escorted this lady to our aisle.. she looked at the usher, then looked at me, and the usher just smiled. Every seat was filling up in the sanctuary - but she left one seat between us.
That's okay. I really do understand.
To sum up the experience - the music was PHENOMENAL. Their gospel choir, hands down, was something from a movie. Uplifting, joyous, excellent. There was even lyrical dance and pantomime. (Seriously!) Later, the Pastor came up and began his hour long sermon. I could not take my eyes or ears away from his words. Remember - I am a catholic, and this is completely different from the way I worship. The speaking back to the pastor, the amens, the hallelujahs, the clapping - was sooo different. But the message - the message was pretty awesome.
No - I am not about to get biblical on you - but there was a little something I took back with me and I think it applies to every one.
The topic was "Give me what is mine." Intrigued yet? Well - basically every one is born with some sort of gift. (If you believe in God - then it comes from God.. If you do not - let's just say it is your natural talent.) Okay.. sometimes we hold onto our "gifts" whatever they are, like a precious jewel. But our gifts are not for us - they are for others. And every single person has a gift. Grace is what allows us to nuture and share our gift. For believers - that means we believe God grants this.. for others, let's just say - you feel the need to make the world a better place!
I was thinking about - what does that mean to me?? I am going to use this outlet - my blog - as an example. Now we all know I am a horrible typist. I sometimes leave out words, or possibly butcher the grammar. Punctuation - out the door! But it is an outlet. I do like to tackle a wide variety of subjects, and no - I am not just documenting my days, I am leaving things up for discussion.
Now - if I take the sermon this pastor preached, and apply it to my life - my gift is communication. (Ha ha - certifiable.. well.. my degree is BROADCAST JOURNALISM.) It is my duty to give you what is yours - and that is share thought provoking posts that may or may not touch you, cause you to consider a new idea, or validate something you are experiencing.
How appropriate for my one year anniversary. So it is time I be a little honest. Yes, it is about having followers - why? Because i am writing to share a part of me, my existence, my adventures, my life. That is my gift - and with the Grace of God - I reach people.
Again, I am not a religious writer, but I thought it was an excellent point. It's not that I am not being humble - but this is what writing (publicly) is about - spreading and sharing a message. Whatever it may be.
In the end, I am glad I went to Farnell's church. Perhaps my visitation inspired someone who was hurt in the past by people with the same color skin as mine - to see that yes, we can cross that invisible line of segregation and move forward. And yes, I truly enjoyed the sermon and the music.
*not to mention, I did a little networking, one of the anchors at one of my media sponsor tv stations apparently attends, and she approached me and was very happy to see me there. She is african american, and the health reporter/anchor at one of the top stations in town. Perfect timing - and it was great to see her!
So on this 1 year anniversary of my blog - I hope to reach more people, truly open up the communication lines about a variety of topics, and perhaps we can all grow together.
What about you? What are your hopes for your blog or even your life? How are you going to share your gifts with others?
Let's see if I can explain..
My husband (the egyptian) met a guy at his job named Farnell. Farnell is from Birmingham and I am not sure where he grew up, but he seems to be a really normal, regular guy. Nice, educated, truly a good guy. He and the egyptian became fairly good friends. I have a feeling the two of them discussed religion at great length at work, because Farnell invited the egyptian and I to his church.
For anyone new to my blog - my husband is a 5-times-a-day-praying-fasting-for-ramadan-devout-sunni muslim. I, on the other hand, am roman catholic.
Farnell is.. evangelical christian - at an african american church.
The egyptian was thrilled to go - he had always wanted to see a gospel choir, and I told him - it is truly something to see! Especially down here in the south, the african american churches with the gospel choirs are simply amazing.
We got the address last night as to where to go. I was not sure where Faith Chapel was, then I decided to Google it. It was located in Ensley. Ensley is the west side of Birmingham.
When I first moved to Birmingham from Macon, Georgia - I remembered asking people, "Hey, sooo where should I NOT go after dark?" Meaning - where are the high crime areas. 100% the response was Ensley. As time went on, I watched the news and read more information and it became apparent, this was the hot bed of prostitution, gangs and drugs.
Okay - so THAT is Ensley.
Now back to the church.
I am not one of those (and I am just going to say it) silly white people that freak out about going into the poorer neighborhoods of various ethnic groups. However, I am not a fool either. I mind my own business, do what I need to do, and that's about it. So - it was never an issue with me going there. Though some eyebrows raise anytime someone mentions that part of town.
This morning we prepared for "church" and headed down to Ensley - it takes about 25 minutes from where I live and we meandered through the streets and found the building.
As we drove up and got out of the car, you could almost see people stop in their tracks. Why? Well my dear readers - this is Alabama, not just Alabama - this is Birmingham, and not just Birmingham - this is the more segregated part of town. Don't be fooled my friends in different states, racial issues are alive and well in the deep south. If you are not familiar with the civil rights movement and the events that took place in Birmingham, AL - please click here: http://www.proseandphotos.com/birmingham.htm
See, many older african americans from Birmingham who actually witnessed and/or experienced the civil rights autrocities are still alive and walking around. I stepped foot across the invisible territory line - I was white and in Ensley and standing shoulder to shoulder with people from all types of backgrounds.
You must know this about me - I could care less about the fact I was the only white person. (Hello?? Egypt is in African.. technically I am married to an African..) But I am sensitive to the perception and I know all too well, what the people of Ensley deal with and have dealt with.
As we approached the church, a few older gentlemen gave me an odd look and said, "Good morning." I remained humble and smiled. Yes, I was sincerly grateful to be there. 30 years ago, in this very town - not only would I have been beaten for walking into this church (by the cops or "upstanding white people of the community").. the good people of this center could have experienced hardship beyond belief. Don't believe me? Do you know about the 16th Street Baptist Church in Birmingham? This is just a few miles from where I was this morning - here is what wikipedia says about that church:
The 16th Street Baptist Church bombing was a racially motivated terrorist attack on September 15, 1963, by members of a Ku Klux Klan group in Birmingham, Alabama in the United States. The bombing of the African-American church resulted in the deaths of four girls. Although city leaders had reached a settlement in May with demonstrators and started to integrate public places, not everyone agreed with ending segregation. Other acts of violence followed the settlement. The bombing increased support for people working for civil rights. It marked a turning point in the U.S. 1960s Civil Rights Movement and contributed to support for passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964. The three-story Sixteenth Street Baptist Church in Birmingham, Alabama was a rallying point for civil rights activities through the spring of 1963, and is where the students who marched out of the church to be arrested during the 1963 Birmingham campaign's Children's Crusade were trained. The demonstrations led to an agreement in May between the city's African-American leaders and the Southern Christian Leadership Conference (SCLC) to integrate public facilities in the country.
At any rate, we entered the church looking for our good friend, Farnell. He, of course was late, and we were asked to wait in the lobby. As people entered in droves.. some lifted eyebrows, some made a point to smile and be welcoming.. and some just looked surprised!
Farnell finally made it in, and we entered the Sanctuary. We had to file into the pews.. and then the usher escorted this lady to our aisle.. she looked at the usher, then looked at me, and the usher just smiled. Every seat was filling up in the sanctuary - but she left one seat between us.
That's okay. I really do understand.
To sum up the experience - the music was PHENOMENAL. Their gospel choir, hands down, was something from a movie. Uplifting, joyous, excellent. There was even lyrical dance and pantomime. (Seriously!) Later, the Pastor came up and began his hour long sermon. I could not take my eyes or ears away from his words. Remember - I am a catholic, and this is completely different from the way I worship. The speaking back to the pastor, the amens, the hallelujahs, the clapping - was sooo different. But the message - the message was pretty awesome.
No - I am not about to get biblical on you - but there was a little something I took back with me and I think it applies to every one.
The topic was "Give me what is mine." Intrigued yet? Well - basically every one is born with some sort of gift. (If you believe in God - then it comes from God.. If you do not - let's just say it is your natural talent.) Okay.. sometimes we hold onto our "gifts" whatever they are, like a precious jewel. But our gifts are not for us - they are for others. And every single person has a gift. Grace is what allows us to nuture and share our gift. For believers - that means we believe God grants this.. for others, let's just say - you feel the need to make the world a better place!
I was thinking about - what does that mean to me?? I am going to use this outlet - my blog - as an example. Now we all know I am a horrible typist. I sometimes leave out words, or possibly butcher the grammar. Punctuation - out the door! But it is an outlet. I do like to tackle a wide variety of subjects, and no - I am not just documenting my days, I am leaving things up for discussion.
Now - if I take the sermon this pastor preached, and apply it to my life - my gift is communication. (Ha ha - certifiable.. well.. my degree is BROADCAST JOURNALISM.) It is my duty to give you what is yours - and that is share thought provoking posts that may or may not touch you, cause you to consider a new idea, or validate something you are experiencing.
How appropriate for my one year anniversary. So it is time I be a little honest. Yes, it is about having followers - why? Because i am writing to share a part of me, my existence, my adventures, my life. That is my gift - and with the Grace of God - I reach people.
Again, I am not a religious writer, but I thought it was an excellent point. It's not that I am not being humble - but this is what writing (publicly) is about - spreading and sharing a message. Whatever it may be.
In the end, I am glad I went to Farnell's church. Perhaps my visitation inspired someone who was hurt in the past by people with the same color skin as mine - to see that yes, we can cross that invisible line of segregation and move forward. And yes, I truly enjoyed the sermon and the music.
*not to mention, I did a little networking, one of the anchors at one of my media sponsor tv stations apparently attends, and she approached me and was very happy to see me there. She is african american, and the health reporter/anchor at one of the top stations in town. Perfect timing - and it was great to see her!
So on this 1 year anniversary of my blog - I hope to reach more people, truly open up the communication lines about a variety of topics, and perhaps we can all grow together.
What about you? What are your hopes for your blog or even your life? How are you going to share your gifts with others?
Happy Anniversary Destination: Unknown!
That's right my dearest readers, Happy Anniversary!
What a long, strange trip it has been!
If you have been around since day one (and honestly, that can only be about 7 of you) - THANK YOU for sticking by me. For those of you joining up around March (when my followers really started "chiming in") I am super excited you are in my life and you keep the conversation flowing. If you are brand new to my blog, or just dropped by for the first time - WELCOME!
This little blog has truly grown and blossomed into the little adolescent blog that she is. I definitely started out as a baby blogger. Basic "Blogger" background, and boring template. Then about 4 months into it, I discovered how to find a great background and create a header - which I did. I added a few widgets, and off I went! (Full on Toddler Mode.)
In March I joined up on some really useful blogging network sites and BOOM tons more followers (child mode.) Then I got smart - got some help from a fellow blogger on a more customized header and a button and now.. oh now.. I am in full-on adolescent mode.
I am still confused about the rules of the blog hops, and the different memes.. etc. I just write, though haphazardly, I do a daily post.
I am ready to grow this baby and take it to the next level!
NOW - if you really are new (or an old follower and have not checked out my new tabs, etc.) - let me give you a tour.
First of all - Check out the new About Me Tab. This is a perfect primer on who I am. Then, take the time to check out my picture tab and my video tab. Both will give you a great understanding of who I am. Finally - grab a few recipes, make sure to read the disclosure and definitely - visit my best blog posts tab. Read a few - they are, in my opinion, my best pieces of work.
No - I rarely spell check and I am a horrible typist - but if you can get past that - we will be good friends!
Now for fun - before the end of the day (Sunday) - I would like to be at one hundred google friend followers! Maybe you can help me? Perhaps a little PS in your next post?? Just for fun, I thought I should have 100 followers for my new year. Maybe by year two - 200???
LOL
Again - make sure to check out my new tabs, read some of my favorite posts- and definitely stick around a bit!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY to my little social media experiment - Destination: Unknown.
PS - I assure you, I still have no idea where I am going or what I am doing.. but I am enjoying the ride!
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Inspiration
Which got me to thinking - what actually inspires me?
Is it a quote? Is it an issue? Is it something in nature?
My inspiration comes from a wide variety of places. I thought I might share a few with you!
1. Sunrise, Sunset - Yes, a bit of nature. I feel most at peace, most focused, and most inspired by a beautiful sunrise or sunset. In the morning - as the yellow begins to peep through the clouds and this beautiful pink/yellow/purple lights up the sky. It opens my mind. The sunset at at dusk - the pinkish and golden sparkles in my sun room lowers my heart rate, brings out a smile and comforts my soul. The best natural inspiration around.
2. Coffee. Seriously. Don't laugh. The warm aroma, the way it soothes going down, the little kick start to my heart. I always feel like writing after a cup. (Hellooo??? Guess what I just drank?)
3. Praying. When I am actually able to calm my mind down, and have a true one on one with God - my mind is clear and I feel the need to write my thoughts down.
4. A smile. Man oh man, do I respond to a smile. Just smile at me - you will see!
5. Dancing. If I get an opportunity to dance, I am floating on cloud nine for hours.
6. Quotations. There are certain quotes written by amazing minds that just speaks to my heart.
7. Amazing movies - if I watch a movie that makes me stop and think, I am instantly in the mood to write.
8. Candles. I love to light a candle. It is calming, and for whatever reason I feel inspired.
9. A fire. It could be a crackling fire in the fireplace, or a campfire - just staring into the flames and breathing in the smell of burning wood - relaxing and inspiring.
10. Sitting near water. Waterfalls, the ocean, a raging river, a calm and serene lake - quiets the mind, clears out the cobwebs - inspires!
The question is simple - what inspires you?
Let's Get It Started!
It is done. The Birmingham Start! Heart Walk 2010 - our largest fundraising event in this market - yes, complete.
No - the fundraising is still going on, so you still have a chance to help out my team! Feel free to click the green box on the right side of my blog post, or mail a check to:
Attn: Nicole Abdou
American Heart Association
1449 Medical Park Drive, Birmingham, AL. 35213
Now.. a pictorial highlight of the past 24 hours.. *yawn*
Imagine where I am? Sitting in the drive through line at Starbucks.
Caramel Macchiato
I get every paper from most cities in Alabama, every day. *sigh* - Clearly I am behind on my reading..
Who needs a hair cut and eye brow wax?? I do! I do!
That's it - the Start! Heart Walk. Most of the pics I took showcased some of my media sponsors! Since, that's what I do!! Now.. I will rest, and I promise to check out my friend's blogs, send a million comments, and get inspired to actually write SOMETHING of purpose and worth!
Until next time...
Friday, August 20, 2010
Just some tops in my world!
I went to work around 7:45am and got off work about 7pm. My brain is a little shot - but I wanted to write something. (My promise to myself to write daily.)
My idea - Just some tops in my world!
Nicole's Top Five:
Top Pizza Toppings:
1. Extra Cheese
2. Ricotta
3. Pepperoni
4. Onions
5. Spinach
Top Movies :
1. Under the Tuscan Sun
2. Only You
3. French Kiss
4 Love Actually
5. Crash
Top TV Shows:
1. Sex & The City
2. True Blood
3. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
4. What Not To Wear
5. Survivor
Top Books:
1. The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova
2. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
3. Memnoch the Devil, Anne Rice
4. Turning Angel, Greg Iles
5. Hill Towns, Anne Rivers Siddons
Top Music:
1. Journey
2. John Legend
3. Evanescence
4. Prince
5. George Michael
What about you? Pick one of the simple categories and give me your top picks.
** SOOO tired, it is 10pm, half to be up at 5:15am for the Start! Heart Walk for tomorrow morning. I promise to catch up on all my blog reading tomorrow afternoon!
My idea - Just some tops in my world!
Nicole's Top Five:
Top Pizza Toppings:
1. Extra Cheese
2. Ricotta
3. Pepperoni
4. Onions
5. Spinach
Top Movies :
1. Under the Tuscan Sun
2. Only You
3. French Kiss
4 Love Actually
5. Crash
Top TV Shows:
1. Sex & The City
2. True Blood
3. Anthony Bourdain: No Reservations
4. What Not To Wear
5. Survivor
Top Books:
1. The Historian, Elizabeth Kostova
2. Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert
3. Memnoch the Devil, Anne Rice
4. Turning Angel, Greg Iles
5. Hill Towns, Anne Rivers Siddons
Top Music:
1. Journey
2. John Legend
3. Evanescence
4. Prince
5. George Michael
What about you? Pick one of the simple categories and give me your top picks.
** SOOO tired, it is 10pm, half to be up at 5:15am for the Start! Heart Walk for tomorrow morning. I promise to catch up on all my blog reading tomorrow afternoon!
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Are You A Good Friend?
This morning I was so tired from very little sleep and no coffee. I sent out a plea asking for a "word" any word to write about.
Yenta Mary at Flood Floozie gave me an excellent word - Redemption.
What does redemption mean? Well - it is the act of redeeming.. so - what does it mean to redeem? Webster says:
v. To regain possession of by paying a specified sum. 2. Pay off 3. To turn in (coupons, etc.) and receive something in exchange 4. To rescue or ransom 5. To save from sin. 6. To make up for 7. To fulfill.
All good stuff. All serious stuff. The first thing that came to mind was relationships.
One thing I have learned in my thirties, life is not about the things you have or the things you achieved, it is definitely about how you relate to others.
In the end - that's all that we have.
I, for one, am horrible at relationships of any kind. Seriously. It takes a special person to get my sense of humor... so in turn, I might accidentally offend, disturb, or brush off someone without even realizing it.
Let me see if I can explain deeper - I have been accused of being brash, too straight forward, and lacking in tact. Basically, in my opinion, I just call it like I see it.
Honestly, when you meet me - I am normally smiling, happy, upbeat. I have tons of energy and I am a talker. Chatty chat chat. My husband asks me all the time, 'Do you ever just SHUT UP?' Yeah.. not very nice, but it's true. I have soo much to say... and add a little caffeine or a subject I am passionate about and I could seriously talk for hours. (Hello? Long winded blog posts.. ;-) )
Needless to say, I am not the best at relationships. I guess I just don't fall into rules governing friendships very well. No, I am not going to talk bad about you. I am very loyal. Yes, I will give you advise based on my life experience, even if you don't ask for it. Yes, I will honestly tell you if I think your boyfriend has a wandering eye. No, I will not pretend everything is okay when you verbally attack me, my husband, my family or other friends.
Redemption - perhaps I need to redeem myself.
So - to all of the "peeps" out there who I have left a bad taste in their mouths, here is what I have to say to you:
1. My intention is never to hurt anyone. I have been hurt enough in my life, and would never, ever choose to make any person feel the way others have made me feel.
2. I will never lie to you. I think I was not born with the "white lie to make people feel better" gene. Sorry.
3. If I chose to have you in my life, that means I see something really special about you.
4. If I am in a relationship with you (love), it means I carefully considered whether or not you are a good fit for my future. Please handle with care.
5. I have gone through quite a bit in a short amount of time - and I want to help you. It may involve advice. It is my way of "giving back" for all you have given me.
There. Not sure if that is good enough - but I look at my friend lists and past BFFs and whatever, and realize.. I am very misunderstood. However- what I will never apologize for is another's insecurity. I will never try to be the "hero" and I will never compare myself to you or try to be like you. I won't let you
I am an individual - and for that, there is no redemption.
Now on to Leanne's request - my favorite movie lines. Consider it done! Click HERE.
As for patience (from Telisa) - I finally have it. Seriously, after all of these years I have learned to let go.. and go with the flow. The problem with that is - I just choose not to do it!
As for Melissa's word - Destiny.. oh my.. let me tackle that one in a whole other post.
(PS - Welcome Ally!)
Okay.. that's all I have in me today. I accidentally fell out of my chair at work yesterday. No.. seriously... I did. I leaned over to get something and whack-a-doodle I went.
Pain Pain Pain on the lower right side of my back. Nothing seems to work and it feels like a freaking spasm. Every time I breath in it clenches.
Okay.. enough about me.. at least now you can see why I was having trouble writing.
PS - Not to mention my husband is insisting that we move to a city where there is proper public transportation by February. Lord have mercy upon my soul. :-$
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