Thursday, January 9, 2014

You Can't Wish It Away

If you and I sat down across from one another, and we were having a little chat (fueled by coffee, I'm sure,) I am positive we would some how end up on the subject of our wants, our needs, even our life long dreams. 

Because that's what we as humans do.

We yearn. We hope. We pray.

I have spent years idolyzing the idea of dreams. I want so badly to create these goals and one by one check them off my to-do list. I typically get around to everything, however, I wonder if I am selling myself short.

That's why I chose the word "Live" as my theme word for the year. I just want to "go with the flow." I have to tell you, it's been working for me the last couple of years. 

I have watched two people I am incredibly close to go through some tough times recently. I was finally able to construct a fairly healthy bubble to keep too much of their residual negativity at bay. But what I noticed both are doing is living in the future. I see them trying to control the outcome of things that may or may not be within their control. I told one of them, just this morning, that the only thing you can do is release the fear, turn it over to a higher power, and live your life. Honestly, that's all you can do.

We can wish, and hope, and believe everything will work out, and typically it does in one form or another. If your basic needs are being met, then it worked out. But that's not always the optimal case. Some how, I have been able to condition myself to just let it go - something just three years ago would have seemed impossible.

When I was thrown a massive crisis, I did a few things that sort of helped me keep it together.

When losing a job: Treat looking for a job, as your job. Schedule time to research and apply. Also devote a few hours to volunteering. Keep your resume active. 

When faced with financial difficulty: Remember that it's simple math. Cover your basic needs and build up the rest. I was told many years ago that you should always have three months worth of your salary in your bank savings account. Try to build back up to this. 

When faced with a crisis: Take it one day at a time. It's sounds cliche, but it is true. Make a list of everything YOU can do. Decide what you will do that day. Then do it. Let it go and move on. You've done everything you can. Don't dwell, don't worry - it's out of your hands. What will be, will be.

Finally, always find a way to decompress. Make sure you talk to a trusted friend. Find ways to laugh. Sit still and quiet for a few minutes. Pray. And if you must, cry your eyes out. 

For those of you dealing with something painful right now, I hope you know that this too shall pass. It really will. Life is not easy, however, it does not have to be a cess-pool of toxic drama either. Pause. Reflect. Breath.. and don't wish it all away. 

1 comment:

Tesha Vann said...

So refreshing seeing you reflect on the crisis you faced last year. You deserve happiness and it looks like your peace has come. Happy New Year!

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