Monday, May 13, 2013

Adventures of Zen Kitty

I was laying on my couch, watching Long Island Medium... wondering whether or not a medium is for real... when I notice Salvatore is pacing the kitchen. I finally get up and take my empty glass to the kitchen... 

I hear this odd scratching sound, sort of like mice in the walls.

I look around and open the cabinets, just waiting to see something horrid, figuring that's why Salvatore was pacing... then I hear the mewing..

"Meow... Meow." 

Me: "Zen Kitty? Salvatore?"

"Mew... Mew.. meow.. *scratch scratch scratch*"

Then suddenly I locate where the sound is coming from.. the base boards in the kitchen.

"Zen kitty? Where are you?"

"Mew.. Mew.."

Then I see this tiny arm try to reach me. "Oh My God, Zen Kitty... what have you gotten yourself into?"

I put my hand into the hole and realized he was stuck, and how he got into the baseboard of the cabinet was a mystery.

I got down on all fours and noticed that there were two nails keeping this one board attached to the cabinets. I jumped up and yelled, "I'm coming for you Zen Kitty.. don't go anywhere."

I anxiously run to the utility room to look for my screw driver. No dice. I looked in the kitchen drawers - NOTHING. I am raising my voice saying over and over, "Oh no.. oh no. Zen baby.. I'm coming sweet heart," while the the little kitty kept trying to pull himself out.

I grab my phone and tried to think of who would be awake and who could help me. I called my friend Margaret first, thinking okay.. she seems very resourceful, maybe she could help. Again - no dice. She did not answer. I finally got through to my sister...

Here I was, laying on the floor of the kitchen, pouring sweat, using a pair of scissors to try to unscrew this one nail, and the phone is on the floor in front of me on speaker. 

Heather: What's going on?
Me: Zen kitty is stuck in the base boards. I need help.
Heather: What?
Me: I need a screw driver... I can't.. I'm trying... Oh Zen Kitty.. I'm coming..
Heather: What kind of screw driver do you need?
Me: I don't know *panic in my voice* I just don't know.
Heather: A Phillips Head? A Flat Head?
Me: It looks like a cross or star
Heather: Okay.. a Phillips Head. I'll be there in a few minutes.

She hangs up the phone. I keep using the scissors, trying like crazy to unscrew the board.. and suddenly, one nail came out! One to go.


I decided to pull out my Wonder Woman powers and I RIPPED the board out - the strip at the bottom came off, the nails fell out and Zen Kitty was free.

I picked him up, pointed my finger at him and yelled, "You know curiosity killed the cat. You could have died!"

Finally my sister arrives and she repairs the base board, and covered the hole. Her new name should be MacGyver. She was able to take the cover of a composition book, two nails, a dish rag and my zebra print duck tape and cover the hole.

I continued to scold Zen Kitty.. and she kept turning around and adding, 'But Zen - she loves you."

Finally - she finished and left. Zen kitty went into time out.

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