One extreme to the next

So I live with a self-proclaimed neat-freak.

Seriously.

My husband looooooves everything perfectly clean. He is OBSESSED.
I think being neat is a good thing - but I think stressing about being clean is not.

I have to admit, he is an amazing organizer. He can take an otherwise hopeless shelf, drawer, cabinet, etc and turn it into a fabulous organized space that Martha Stewart would be envious of. If only he organized with love - and not a pouty face.

Apparently I am a little more of a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of girl. I like my canned veggies to be categorized, I like my clothes to hang according to type and color - and yes, all of my eye shadows are in one area as well as my lip sticks. But I don't stress if things get in a little disarray. Who cares? .. well to answer that.. apparently my other half.

He goes through phases where he seems to not care, then one week later - BAM - mighty mouse is zipping thru the house with his scrubbing bubbles and hammer. (Oh yes, he will nail anything down that threatens to get out of wack. ;-) )

I find it humorous most days. Today - not so much. I had my first week back at work this past week (following holiday vacation.) The last thing on my mind was organizing and cleaning.

Now don't get me wrong- I have a few set things I do daily. I make a point to load the dishwasher each night and I wipe down the kitchen counters. I always throw away any trash I find. I never let the garbage can overflow. I hang my towels. I wash the clothes about twice a week. I put my shoes on the shelf that holds them.

But my bad qualities (in his eyes) - would be the fact that I use the dining room table as a catch all for purses, mail, and other odds and ends through out the week. I leave my nail polish and pens, and my lap top on the coffee table. I discard the sweaters I decided not to wear that day (even though I put them on.. then immediately changed my mind) on the chair in the bed room. I have a stack of books on my bedside table. Yes - I read several at one time. My makeup is scattered over the desk. (These are usually the items I shoved into my purse, and then pulled out - all in order to remember to put them back up.) I have random socks on the floor next to my side of the bed. I think when I am sleeping I must get warm - and kick them off.

I understand that if I were perfect.. or even a little mindful of what I do - I would bother to put things back where they belong. I do. When I am off work. And not tired.

I will try to be better.. I will..

Now - I guess I better remove my nail polish bottle off the coffee table (along with the pen sitting right next to it) and try to push the cushions back on the couch.

All to the lovely sound of my husband vacuuming out the lent tray of the dryer. Yes, you read that right - he vacuums the dryer.

;-)

I need inspiration.. who's with me?

*scream*

Nope, still do not feel anybetter.

*blood curdling yell*

Nah.. did not work either.

I am going to try something else.

I will look to the "big dogs" and find some inspiration for my morose mood.

If you are in a funk like me - hope this helps. It's the best I could do....

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."Proverbs 3:5-6

"So do not fear, for I am with you;do not be dismayed, for I am your God.I will strengthen you and help you;I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. " Isaiah 41:10

"All that is gold does not glitter.. not all those who wander are lost...the old that is strong does not wither... deep roots are not reached by the frost.... From the ashes a fire shall be woken... a light from the shadows shall spring... renewed shall be blade that was broken...the crown less again shall be king."- J.R.R. Tolkien

"Life is queer with its twists and turns,As every one of us sometimes learns,And many a fellow turns aboutWhen he might have won had he stuck it out.Don't give up though the pace seems slow -You may succeed with another blow."- Anonymous

"Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time." - Thomas Edison

"Tough times never last, but tough people do." - Robert Schuller

"Arise awake and stop not till the goal is reached." - Swami Vivekananda

"I walk slowly, but I never walk backward." - Abraham Lincoln

"Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It is a very mean and nasty place and it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it. You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't how hard you hit; it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward. How much you can take, and keep moving forward. That's how winning is done. Now, if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you are because of him, or her, or anybody. Cowards do that and that ain't you. You're better than that!"- Movie Quote from 'Rocky Balboa'

"Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul." -Ezra Taft Benson

"Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Whatever you do, you need courage. Whatever course you decide upon, there is always someone to tell you that you are wrong. There are always difficulties arising that tempt you to believe your critics are right." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Little minds have little worries, big minds have no time for worries." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Start where you are with what you have. Make something of it and never be satisfied. - George Washington Carver

"When everything seems to be going against you, remember that the airplane takes off against the wind, not with it." - Henry Ford

"My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength." - Michael Jordan

"The world breaks everyone, and afterward, some are strong at the broken places." -Ernest Hemingway

"Never, never, never, never ever give up!" - Winston Churchill

Yep. That's all folks.

There's a demon on my chest.. or maybe not.

I thought I might need to hurry up and describe my experience at the Lakeshore Sleep Disorder clinic fast - before I forget the horrific, if not traumatic experience.

I do not want to confuse anyone - so let me start from the beginning.

If you have been following my blog, or if you are a new reader - I have been trying to get my Blood Pressure under control. I was doing really well back in November. I have to admit - I am failing miserably in January. But I am hoping to get a grip back on this condition.

One of the many tests needed to "fix" or get a handle on my situation involves a sleep study. Why? Well - sleep apnea is a contributing factor to elevated blood pressure. At the very least, it is not helping.

I believe I have sleep apnea and sleep paralysis. No - I am not hypochondriac. This is real. My own mother saw me have an episode right on the couch in her living room over Christmas Break.

What is sleep apnea? Sleep apnea is a common disorder in which you have one or more pauses in breathing or shallow breaths while you sleep.

Breathing pauses can last from a few seconds to minutes. They often occur 5 to 30 times or more an hour. Typically, normal breathing then starts again, sometimes with a loud snort or choking sound.

Sleep apnea usually is a chronic (ongoing) condition that disrupts your sleep 3 or more nights each week. You often move out of deep sleep and into light sleep when your breathing pauses or becomes shallow.

This results in poor sleep quality that makes you tired during the day. Sleep apnea is one of the leading causes of excessive daytime sleepiness.

Sleep apnea often goes undiagnosed. Doctors usually can't detect the condition during routine office visits. Also, there are no blood tests for the condition.

Most people who have sleep apnea don't know they have it because it only occurs during sleep. A family member and/or bed partner may first notice the signs of sleep apnea.

The most common type of sleep apnea is obstructive sleep apnea. This most often means that the airway has collapsed or is blocked during sleep. The blockage may cause shallow breathing or breathing pauses.

When you try to breathe, any air that squeezes past the blockage can cause loud snoring. Obstructive sleep apnea happens more often in people who are overweight, but it can affect anyone.

Untreated sleep apnea can:

-Increase the risk for high blood pressure, heart attack, stroke, obesity, and diabetes
-Increase the risk for or worsen heart failure
-Make irregular heartbeats more likely
-Increase the chance of having work-related or driving accidents

(my source comes from: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/SleepApnea/SleepApnea_WhatIs.html )


As you can see - it basically is not only disruptive, it can - long term - cause some scary problems.

One other symptom I have, and oooooh how it scares the crap out of me - sleep paralysis. It happens from time to time and I HATE IT. What is sleep paralysis? According to medicinenet.com it is a frightening form of paralysis that occurs when a person suddenly finds himself or herself unable to move for a few minutes, most often upon falling asleep or waking up. Sleep paralysis is due to an ill-timed disconnection between the brain and the body.

Physiologically, sleep paralysis is closely related to the paralysis that occurs as a natural part of REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is known as REM atonia.

Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious, but unable to move. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes "after which the individual may experience panic symptoms and the realization that the distorted perceptions were false". As the correlation with REM sleep suggests, the paralysis is not entirely complete; use of EOG traces shows that eye movement can be instigated during such episodes. When there is an absence of narcolepsy, sleep paralysis is referred to as isolated sleep paralysis.

In addition, the paralysis state may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations (hypnopompic or hypnagogic) and an acute sense of danger.

Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vividness of such hallucinations. The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it even more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since completely fanciful, or dream-like, objects may appear in the room alongside one's normal vision.

Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters. A study by Susan Blackmore and Marcus Cox (the Blackmore-Cox study) of the University of the West of England supports the suggestion that reports of alien abductions are related to sleep paralysis rather than to temporal lobe lability.

Now - I have never experienced an alien abduction. hahahahaa. I am sorry, I don't mean to laugh. But what I have experienced is a little different. My mind wakes up - but my body will not move. At all.. I push and push.. but nothing. I shallow breathe, and feel that if I do not wake myself up - I will quit breathing and die.

Dramatic - I know.

Add this to the waking up and gasping from air and you have one young lady who hardly ever gets a good night sleep.

Just think what is going on? All of this "panic" in my sleep causes my adrenal gland to kick into over drive and the blood pressure rises and rises. I awake with a racing pulse and elevated bp.

Sooo.. the sleep study.

But before I get into the sleep story - I have to share the "folklore" around sleep paralysis. Fascinating stuff!

The original definition of sleep paralysis was codified by Dr Johnson in his A Dictionary of the English Language as "nightmare," a term that evolved into our modern definition.

Such sleep paralysis was widely considered to be the work of demons and more specifically incubi, which were thought to sit on the chests of sleepers. In Old English the name for these beings was mare or mære (from a proto-Germanic *marōn, cf. Old Norse mara), hence comes the mare part in nightmare. The word might be etymologically cognate to Hellenic Marōn (in the Odyssey) and Sanskrit Māra.

Folk belief in Newfoundland, South Carolina and Georgia describe the negative figure of the Hag who leaves her physical body at night, and sits on the chest of her victim. I remember my granny talking about her.

What is supposed to happen is the "victim" usually wakes with a feeling of terror, has difficulty breathing because of a perceived heavy invisible weight on his or her chest, and is unable to move i.e., experiences sleep paralysis.

This nightmare experience is described as being "hag-ridden" in the Gullah lore.

The "Old Hag" was a nightmare spirit in British and also Anglophone North American folklore.

In Nigeria, "ISP appears to be far more common and recurrent among people of African descent than among whites or Nigerian Africans", and is often referred to within African communities as "the Devil on your back."

Various forms of magic and spiritual possession were also advanced as causes.

In nineteenth century Europe, the vagaries of diet were thought to be responsible. For example, in Charles Dickens's A Christmas Carol, Ebenezer Scrooge attributes the ghost he sees to "... an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato..."

And so it goes... it is well documented across the world!

Look at what I found - FASCINATING:


-In African culture, isolated sleep paralysis is commonly referred to as "the witch riding your back".

- In the Muslim culture of South Asia (Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Indian Muslims), sleep paralysis is considered to be an encounter with evil jinns and demons who have taken over ones body.
In northwestern Pakistan, this ghoul is known as 'bakhtak' (Urdu بختک). It is also assumed that it is caused by the black magic performed by enemies and jealous persons.
Spells, incantations and curses could also result in ghouls haunting a person. Some homes and places are also haunted by evil ghosts, satanic or other supernatural beings and they could haunt people living there. Sufis, Mullahs, Faqirs or Imams perform exorcism on individuals who are possessed.
Talismans and AmuletS are worn by people to keep them safe especially the young children. The homes, houses, buildings and grounds are blessed and consecrated by Sufis, Mullahs or Imams by reciting Qur'an and Adhan (Urdu أَذَان), the Islamic call to prayer, recited by the muezzin.

-In Cambodian, Laotian, and Thai culture, sleep paralysis is called pee umm and khmout sukkhot. It is described as an event in which the person is sleeping and dreams that one or more ghostly figures are nearby or even holding him or her down. The sufferer usually thinks that he or she is awake but unable to move or make any noises. This is not to be confused with pee khao and khmout jool, ghost possession.

-In Hmong culture, sleep paralysis describes an experience called "dab tsog" or "crushing demon." Often the sufferer claims to be able to see a tiny figure, no larger than a child, sitting on his or her chest. What is alarming is that a vast number of American Hmong have died in their sleep, prompting the Centers for Disease Control to create the term "Sudden Unexpected Nocturnal Death Syndrome" (see Sudden unexplained death syndrome) or "SUNDS" for short; this is now theorized to be a form of Brugada syndrome.

- In Korean culture, sleep paralysis is called gawee nulim (Hangul: 가위눌림), literally meaning "being pressed down by scissors". It is often associated with a superstitious belief that a ghost or spirit is laying on top of or pressing down on the sufferer.

- In Philippine culture, "bangungut", or sudden unexplained death syndrome, has traditionally been attributed to nightmares. People who have claimed to survive such nightmares have reported experiencing the symptoms of sleep paralysis.

-During the Salem witch trials several people reported nighttime attacks by various alleged witches including Bridget Bishop that may have been the result of sleep paralysis.

- In Malta, folk culture attributes a sleep paralysis incident to an attack by the "Haddiela" who is the wife of the "Hares", the entity in Maltese folk culture which haunts the individual in similar ways as to those of a poltergeist. As believed in folk culture, to rid oneself of the Haddiela, one must place a piece of silverware or a knife under the pillow prior to sleep.

-In New Guinea, people refer to this phenomenon as "Suk Ninmyo", believed to originate from sacred trees that use human essence to sustain its life. The trees are said to feed on human essence during night as to not disturb the human's daily life, but sometimes people wake unnaturally during the feeding, resulting in the paralysis.

- In Turkish culture, sleep paralysis is often referred to as "karabasan" ("The dark presser/assailer"). It is believed to be a creature which attacks people in their sleep, pressing on their chest and stealing their breath.

- In Mexico, it is believed that this is caused by the spirit of a dead person. This ghost lies down upon the body of the sleeper, rendering him unable to move. People refers to this as "Subirse el Muerto" (Dead Person on you).

- In many parts of the Southern United States, the phenomenon is known as a "hag", and the event is said to often be a sign of an approaching tragedy or accident.

- In Greece and Cyprus, it is believed that sleep paralysis occurs when a ghost-like creature or Demon named Mora, Vrachnas or Varypnas (Greek: Μόρα, Βραχνάς, Βαρυπνάς) tries to steal the victim's speech or sits on the victim's chest causing asphyxiation.

- In Zimbabwean Shona culture the word Madzikirira is used to refer something really pressing one down. This mostly refers to the spiritual world in which some spirit—especially an evil one—tries to use its victim for some evil purpose. The people believe that witches can only be people of close relations to be effective, and hence a witches often try to use one's spirit to bewitch one's relatives.

And I could go on and on.. and on..

Just love the superstitions.

But.. are they?

Anyway...

I had the study - and basically what happened was I had a polysomnogram. It is a test which measures bodily functions during sleep. Each test varies depending on the individual case.

Some of the measurements taken include:
-Brain waves (skin surface electrodes on the head)
-Heart rhythms (skin surface electrodes on the chest)
-Eye movement (skin surface electrodes above and below the eyes)
-Leg movements (skin surface electrodes on the lower legs)
-Breathing effort and movement (small elastic guages placed around the chest and/or stomach)
-Blood oxygen levels (small sensor attached to the ear or finger, and not taken from actual blood samples)

No it is not comfortable. No - I was not able to sleep well. No - I do not hope to have to go thru that again.

Do I have an answer yet? Nope.

But stay tuned.. until, perhaps I should douse myself in holy water to keep the old hag and demons off my chest! ;-)

We all deserve a tiara and pearls.

I wanted to start today with a recount of my experience at the Lakeshore Sleep Disorder clinic last night. I wanted to share with you the sleep study, the oddness of it all, and what this study could find.

But life has a funny way of throwing a new subject at you.

One I try to avoid. One I prefer to skip over. One that scares many people - but is very much a part of our lives.

Tonight I found out that one more relative died of Ovarian Cancer. I think that takes the death toll up to at least 4 that I know of. My cousin, my aunt, my grandmother and my great aunt.

My aunt is not a blood relation. She married my father's brother. But it just drives the need to write about this home - apparently ovarian cancer is a real threat in our family. My cousin Julie is on my mom's side. My grandmother and great-aunt is on my dad's side.

I - on the other hand - had a hysterectomy. But I left my ovaries. I left them for normal hormone function. Now I wish they had taken them out.

See, I suffered from cervical dysplasia. Cervical dysplasia is a condition characterized by the presence of abnormal cells in the cervix, indicating either precancerous or cancerous cells. The condition is classified as low-grade or high-grade, depending on the extent of the abnormal cell growth.

Low-grade cervical dysplasia progresses very slowly and typically resolves on its own. High-grade cervical dysplasia, which I had, tends to progress quickly and usually leads to cervical cancer. An estimated 66% of cervical dysplasia cases are estimated to progress to cancer within 10 years.

Cervical dysplasia often produces no symptoms and is usually discovered during an annual Pap smear.

In 2001, my doctor tried cryocauterization. Just what is that? Cryocauterization uses extreme cold to destroy abnormal cervical tissue. This is the simplest and safest procedure, and it usually destroys 99% of the abnormal tissue. Cryocauterization is frequently performed without anesthesia. My procedure was successful... for about 6 months.

The cells multiplied and returned with a vengence. Then my gyno decided to try a LEEP/Cone biospy.

The LEEP is known as a Loop electrosurgical excision. During a LEEP, a thin loop wire excises visible patches of abnormal cervical tissue. LEEP is performed with local anesthesia and has a 90% cure rate. My doc included the Cervical conization. During a cervical conization, a small cone-shaped sample of abnormal tissue is removed from the cervix. Cervical conization and has a 70 - 98% cure rate, depending on whether cancer cells have spread beyond the cervix.

This was successful for 6 months.

One year later I turned 30 years old. The cells returned and were in a high grade stage. I was asked about a hysterectomy. I did. This included the removal of my cervix and uterus. I opted to keep my ovaries due to my age.

Now I wonder. Was that a good idea? Should I have opted for everything to be removed?

So I did a little research on Ovarian Cancer tonight. I used the website http://www.ovariancancer.org

What exactly is ovarian cancer?

Ovarian cancer is a growth of abnormal malignant cells that begins in the ovaries (women’s reproductive glands that produce ova). Cancer that spreads to the ovaries but originates at another site is not considered ovarian cancer.

Ovarian tumors can be benign (noncancerous) or malignant (cancerous).

Although abnormal, cells of benign tumors do not metastasize (spread to other parts of the body). Malignant cancer cells in the ovaries can metastasize in two ways:
directly to other organs in the pelvis and abdomen (the more common way)
through the bloodstream or lymph nodes to other parts of the body.

What concerns me is I have polycystic ovarian syndrome. Should I be worried? I decided to see if there is a correlation. According to http://ovarian-cysts-pcos.com there is no obvious causal link between polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and ovarian cancer. Although it’s not known for sure whether benign ovarian cysts or polycystic ovaries develop into ovarian cancer, the vast majority of ovarian cysts appear to be unrelated.

Women who have polycystic ovaries or ovarian cancer seldom have obvious symptoms early on. However, in both disorders, symptoms are noticed as the condition progresses. Because the ovaries are affected on both disorders, the some of the symptoms can be similar.

Still... it's scary.

Since I work in the CVD/Stroke field, I am very aware of risk factors for heart disease. But what about Ovarian Cancer?

1. Genetics - About 10 to 15 percent of women diagnosed with ovarian cancer have a hereditary tendency to develop the disease. The most significant risk factor for ovarian cancer is an inherited genetic mutation in one of two genes: breast cancer gene 1 (BRCA1) or breast cancer gene 2 (BRCA2). These genes are responsible for about 5 to 10 percent of all ovarian cancers.

Another known genetic link to ovarian cancer is an inherited syndrome called hereditary nonpolyposis colorectal cancer (HNPCC or Lynch Syndrome). While HNPCC poses the greatest risk of colon cancer, women with HNPCC have about a 12 percent lifetime risk of developing ovarian cancer.

Women who have one first-degree relative with ovarian cancer but no known genetic mutation still have an increased risk of developing ovarian cancer. The lifetime risk of a woman who has a first degree relative with ovarian cancer is five percent (the average woman’s lifetime risk is 1.4 percent).

2. Increased Age - All women are at risk of developing ovarian cancer regardless of age; however, a woman’s risk is highest during her 60s and increases with age through her late 70s.

3. Reproductive History and Infertility - Research suggests a relationship between the number of menstrual cycles in a woman’s lifetime and her risk of developing ovarian cancer. A woman is at an increased risk if she:
-started menstruating at an early age (before 12),
-has not given birth to any children,
-had her first child after 30,
-experienced menopause after 50,
-has never taken oral contraceptives.

Infertility, regardless of whether or not a woman uses fertility drugs, also increases the risk of ovarian cancer.

4. Hormone Replacement Therapy -Doctors may prescribe hormone replacement therapy to alleviate symptoms associated with menopause (hot flashes, night sweats, sleeplessness, vaginal dryness) that occur as the body adjusts to decreased levels of estrogen. Hormone replacement therapy usually involves treatment with either estrogen alone (for women who have had a hysterectomy) or a combination of estrogen with progesterone or progestin (for women who have not had a hysterectomy).

Women who use menopausal hormone therapy are at an increased risk for ovarian cancer. Recent studies indicate that using a combination of estrogen and progestin for five or more years significantly increases the risk of ovarian cancer in women who have not had a hysterectomy. Ten or more years of estrogen use increases the risk of ovarian cancer in women who have had a hysterectomy.

5. Obesity - Various studies have found a link between obesity and ovarian cancer. A 2009 study found that obesity was associated with an almost 80 percent higher risk of ovarian cancer in women 50 to 71 who had not taken hormones after menopause.

Well...

How would I know I got Ovarian Cancer?

Research suggests that the majority of women with ovarian cancer experience symptoms. Symptoms vary and often depend on the location of the tumor and its impact on the surrounding organs. Many ovarian cancer symptoms mimic those of less life-threatening conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome.

In June 2007, the Gynecologic Cancer Foundation, the Society of Gynecologic Oncologists, and the American Cancer Society, with significant support from the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance, formed a consensus statement on ovarian cancer, agreeing that the disease has specific symptoms.

Research suggests that the majority of women with ovarian cancer experience symptoms. Symptoms vary and often depend on the location of the tumor and its impact on the surrounding organs. Many ovarian cancer symptoms mimic those of less life-threatening conditions such as irritable bowel syndrome.

In June 2007, the Gynecologic Cancer Foundation, the Society of Gynecologic Oncologists, and the American Cancer Society, with significant support from the Ovarian Cancer National Alliance, formed a consensus statement on ovarian cancer, agreeing that the disease has specific symptoms.

The Ovarian Cancer Symptoms Consensus Statement:[i]Historically ovarian cancer was called the “silent killer” because symptoms were not thought to develop until the chance of cure was poor. However, recent studies have shown this term is untrue and that the following symptoms are much more likely to occur in women with ovarian cancer than women in the general population. These symptoms include:
-Bloating
-Pelvic or abdominal pain
-Urinary urgency or frequency
-Difficulty eating or feeling full quickly

Women with ovarian cancer report that symptoms are persistent and represent a change from normal for their bodies. The frequency and/or number of such symptoms are key factors in the diagnosis of ovarian cancer. Several studies show that even early stage ovarian cancer can produce these symptoms.

Women who have these symptoms almost daily for more than a few weeks should see their doctor, preferably a gynecologist. Prompt medical evaluation may lead to detection at the earliest possible stage of the disease. Early stage diagnosis is associated with an improved prognosis.

Several other symptoms have been commonly reported by women with ovarian cancer. These symptoms include fatigue, indigestion, back pain, pain with intercourse, constipation and menstrual irregularities. However, these other symptoms are not as useful in identifying ovarian cancer because they are also found in equal frequency in women in the general population who do not have ovarian cancer.

Okay - let's talk screenings - here is what the folks at ovariancancer.org says:

Early detection of ovarian cancer saves women’s lives. No screening test exists that can test all women for ovarian cancer. The Pap test does not test for ovarian cancer; it screens for cervical cancer.

Not only do researchers need to develop an early detection test for ovarian cancer, like mammograms for breast cancer and Pap tests for cervical cancer, but also women and medical professionals need to become more aware of ovarian cancer symptoms.

While no early detection tool exists for all women, several tests exist for women who are at a high risk. If a woman has ovarian cancer symptoms, a strong family history, or a genetic predisposition such as a BRCA mutation, doctors may monitor her with one of three tests or a combination of them:

Blood Test
The protein CA-125 exists in greater concentration in cancerous cells. Though a high count of this protein may help doctors identify ovarian cancer, premenopausal women may have an elevated CA-125 due to benign conditions unrelated to ovarian cancer. Uterine fibroids, liver disease, inflammation of the fallopian tubes, and other types of cancer can raise a woman’s CA-125 level, often causing a false positive test for ovarian cancer.

Although the CA-125 blood test is more accurate in postmenopausal women, it is not a reliable early detection test for ovarian cancer. In about 20 percent of advanced stage ovarian cancer cases and 50 percent of early stage cases, the CA-125 is not elevated even though ovarian cancer is present. As a result, doctors generally use the CA-125 blood test in combination with a transvaginal ultrasound.

The CA-125 blood test can be an important tool for evaluating the disease’s progress and tumors’ response to treatment. Additionally, this test can monitor a woman’s CA-125 level for evidence of recurrence.

OVA1 has also been approved by the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

Transvaginal Ultrasound
A transvaginal ultrasound is a test used to examine a woman’s reproductive organs and bladder.
To administer the test, the doctor inserts a probe into the woman’s vagina. The probe sends off sound waves which reflect off body structures. The waves are then received by a computer that turns them into a picture.

Pelvic Exam
A pelvic exam should be a part of a woman’s regular female health exam.
This exam requires the doctor to place one or two fingers into a woman’s vagina and another over her abdomen to feel the size, shape, and position of the ovaries and uterus. Ovarian cancer is rarely detected in a pelvic exam and usually in an advanced stage if it is.

In the end... I think all women should walk around with a tiara and a string of pearls. We deserve it. With all of the various ways our body tries to break down - we should proudly parade through the streets. With our ability to create life.. and in turn, our bodies can break down on us. Sometimes there is no other reason than - we are pre-disposed. Let us walk proudly with our crown jewels and know we are special. As one of God's most special creatures - let's demand better screening, better treatment and better education.

I'll dive into sleep issues tomorrow. ;-)

Vague or Mysterious?

I am laying low on the social networking sites.

Yeah yeah - I know, but I blog. Seriously - how many of you actually read my blogs? I know I have followers, but I seriously do not think people actually read them. Maybe after I post them on the social networking sites - but seriously, not regularly after that.

It's kind of nice to know I have this space to myself... most days.

Sooo.. I guess I have been a little vague on one site in particular. Okay, maybe not vague - maybe I am trying to be mysterious in 2o1o. Ha!

One of my New Year's resolutions is to NOT post as much on Facebook. Yep. Too often I get the comment, "You are ALWAYS on Facebook." or "I always know what's going on in Nicole's life."

*scratching of throat.*

Actually... ya don't. I am not just saying that. Remember people - I get PAID to make you think one thing. Perhaps life is not what it seems. Don't be fooled by those of us behaving like an open book. All you are really seeing are my random cynical comments, observations of the day and a few lousy pics taken with friends. So what? Does that mean you know me? Ha ha.. not even close.

Only a select few get that privilege. ;-) And you know who you are.

I have on any given day decided to "open up" and reveal a little of the inner workings of Nicole. But those days are truly few and far between.

Most of my rants or diatribes come from a random fleeting thought that passed thru my head and I begin with - AH - this will get a reaction.

And that's all it is, writing for a reaction. That's what I am PAID to do in my "real life." I write an article, or script or produce a video or place this multi-media message - you see it - then you react, and hopefully take some kind of action. It's like playing God with emotions. muahahahahaha

Welcome to Public Relations. Welcome to my world.

*sigh*

I am just being silly - again. Can't you see - it's all to get a reaction from you. I am just bored, sitting in my sunroom eating tahini and crackers and trying to stay warm.

Oh yeah.. and avoid laundry. Oh how I hate doing chores.

Peace out!

Horror in the am with a side of tahini.

I woke up this morning at 7:45am. Completely refreshed and ready to start my day.

I am a bit sad that this is the last day of my holiday vacation. I have truly enjoyed relaxing and doing as I please for two whole weeks.

But alas, the truth is here, I have to go back to my "day job" and create healthier lives across Alabama, parts of Tennessee and parts of Florida.

I am sitting on my fabulous comfy couch eating tahini with cheese crackers and enjoying a little horror movie - "One Missed Call." The tahini is much better than the movie. So, I decided it would be good to blog.

There was a slight yucky incident last night. Not sure if any of you cat owners have ever had this happen - but apparently, when Lestat lived here, he might have used the fireplace as a little box. Only for urine. Because for the first time last night, Yass and I lit our fire in the fire place, there was nothing in the area, so I would assume it was okay.

About one hour into the fire, as the wood hit the bottom of the "fireplace" (whatever you call it) - this ungodly smell of cat urine erupted. YUCK. It has taken everything I have to get the smell out of here. I threw little cones of incense into the fire. LOL I tried everything. I plan to sweep out the fire place and bleach it down before I ever use it again. What a horrible experience. BLEH.

I could see why the cat saw the fire place as a little box, some ashes, dark - closed in. Like his litter box - a little closed in area with a substance on the floor of it. THANK GOD there was nothing other than the smell of urine. But damn - ammonia was noxious.

Needless to say I am experiencing post traumatic stress from what should have been a nice, warm fire. Yuck Yuck Yuck.

Day 3 of a New Year. :-)

TRUE Blood mararthon.. with cheese pizza

I LOVE me some True Blood. ha!

I had to use that southern slang after watching close to 11 episodes "On Demand."

Just before I started this fabulous, blood sucking television extravaganza - I watched the movie, "The Secret Life of Bees." More southern drama.

Hence the fun accent.

It's funny how over the years I tried so hard to lose my southern accent and break away from my roots.

However, 36 years later - I find myself living in the most fascinating region of the United States. Talk about an eccentric place! Superstitions, funny accents, completely different set of rules on behavior and what is acceptable.

Watching the movie like "Secret Life of Bees" and HBO series like "True Blood" and reading favorites like William Faulkner's "A Rose for Emily" - you can't help but love the dark, twisted little world we all live in.

In the past, people saw the south as this backwoods, ignorant, uneducated, uncultured place. If you really do your research and understand - southerners simply did not want "other folks" coming down here and learning about our lives.

Thinking of the term "country dumb" - a term many southerners will use to pretend they don't get something, etc - but really they are three steps ahead of you is one of my favorite southern cultural idiosyncrasies.

So - I continue day two of 2010 - sitting by a fire, watching True Blood and digesting a mighty tasty Costco cheese pizza.

Good times...

A Fresh Start

I will try to see the world in a different light.

I will try to capture the colors.

I will try to savor the smells.

I will try to feel the emotions.

I will try to be true to who I am and who I was meant to be.

It is a New Year. A Fresh Start for mankind.

God will light my path.

I can make the best of any situation.

I will live. I will breathe. I will rejoice in the day.

Here's hoping. Here's to praying. Here's to transformation.

God Bless you all! :-)

Just what ARE you feeding your head with?

Here you see a row of books upon my mantle. I decided to list out what the egyptian and I prefer to read.

(I actually got a question from this pic.. this person asked... I quote, "What in the hell do you read?"

Well, dear sir... here you go - from left to right:

Victor Hugo - Three Novel collections

DH Lawrence - Three Novel collections

Leo Tolstoy - Anna Karenina

Dante's Inferno, Purgatorio and Paradiso

John Milton's Paradise Lost

Jefferon's Letters

Bio of Hitler

A General History of Pirates

Margaret George - Helen of Troy

Sena Jeter Naslund - Abundance

John Berendt - Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil

Coffey - Savannah Lore and More

Philosophy text book

Anne Rice - Out of Egypt andChrist the Lord

Literature text Book (fiction, poetry, drama and essay)

La ta'che du petit pierre

The Idylls of the King

Darwin's Origin of Species

The Best Known Works of Nathanial Hawthorne

Selected Writings of Thomas Paine

Italian grammar

Thomas Bailey Aldrich - The Sister's Tragedy

The Little Book of Great Lines From Shakespeare

Bio of Ignatius of Loyola

Bio of St Francis of Assisi

Gone With The Wind

Growing Up In the South - and anthology of southern writers

Arabian Nights

The Literature of England (textbook)

Collection of Jane Austen

Amen - Prayers and Blessings Around the World

Johnathon Livingston Seagull

Collection of Short Stories by William Faulkner

Collection of Poems by William Bulter Yeats

Journey into Darkness - New Orleans Ghosts and Vampires

A Book of Classic Love Poetry

Spiritual Classics (collection of essay's by top Christian writers of all time)

Shel Silverstein's - Where the Sidewalk Ends

The Literary Life (trivia about literature)

Oscar Wilde - The Picture of Dorian Gray

The Qu'ran

4 other books written in arabic (sorry, Yass is asleep.)

These are the books sandwiched between an eiffel tower clock and a wood-carved King Tut.

Yes, there are several more bookshelves in the house, but this one holds just a few of our favorite books. ;-)

Making Plans

I feel a bit like Alice over there. Sometimes the world is upside down and confusing.

Sometimes I make the wrong decisions and I find myself spiraling out of control.

But my plan is to end all of the confusion and bad decisions.

2010 holds new promises. New plans. New hopes and dreams. I think we all agree, we like a new start. Since most of us do not get to experience a new day at school, we cling to January 1st like we used to cling to our little back backs and pencil cases.

Look at the newborn baby. Innocent, clean slate. We want to be re-born into a better life.

Even redecorating, rearranging - anything that starts with "re" - means fresh, new, a different path.

I think we all need a little inspiration to get this new year going. This year I have mantra - I hope it provides some inspiration for you also!

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveller, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference...

~Robert Frost

No more camels in your future!

What a fabulous vacation this is turning out to be. Yes - I am still sporting a little cold. Yes - my make up and meds are somewhere on a UPS truck as we speak. Yes - it is freezing cold outside.

But it is QUIET. Our home is peaceful. My egyptian and I are perfectly content with one another. THIS is what we were waiting for. That moment, in every new marriage - where you can just sit still and know - you are settled.

The pièce de résistance - last night as the egyptian and I were checking the mail, we discovered a letter from the United States Immigration Department (Department of State.) ***drum roll please**** The battle was won - my little arab is officially a United States Permanent Resident!!!!! Yes, yes, yes.. we reached that moment. He and I were laughing, it was just this time last year we were in the administrative processing with the Department of Homeland security - 9 different security clearances he had to pass. I am thrilled to say we made it!!

You can almost feel the weight of stress lift. Now my egyptian can get a good job, drive, get items in his name - his life can begin now.

Yes, .. it is done. :-)

PS - I did not use an attorney this time - I did the paperwork. LOL Perhaps I should have entered immigration law. ahhahaaha.

Finding our happy place

2010 is fast approaching. As many of you out there, I have BIG hopes for this year. I want to believe in my heart of hearts this will be "our year." The egyptian and I have been thru so much the past three years to get to this more settled point.

If I am perfectly honest with my self - it has been a tough 10 years.

To an outsider - all is good and truly I am whining more than I should. I am beyond blessed with successes and friendships, travels and accolades than most people I know.

But for each person their trials and tribulations are their own and their burdens heavy.

Ten years ago I was married to a completely different person. I had just left television working in my original "chosen" field. I left not because I was finished with the business (though this is what I kept telling myself) - I left because I wanted to get married and I needed to make more money to create the life that I had envisioned for myself. If I had been honest with myself at the time, I would have seen that the man I was about to marry would never hold down a job - and giving up my dreams to make a better life for us would only pull me further away from my dreams.

I entered into a world of loneliness and distress. I was married to a man with chemical dependencies that I was not aware of before we got married. He had a wandering eye and a co-dependent/enabling mother. I had to make the best of my situation - so I threw myself into other activities: Big Brothers/Big Sisters, Exchange Student hosting, and get this - gardening.

Some positives come out of that situation - I forced myself to create a life designed to protect me. I surrounded myself with fascinating people from all around the world. I hosted 14 exchange students and learned what a peaceful home and family should look like. I came to terms with my own short comings, and battled one scary issue with my health after another. I made hard decisions and dealt with people at work who only saw a young girl - not a professional woman directing their volunteer efforts. I taught myself Public Relations - since I was originally a broadcast journalism major. I worked hard for my new non-profit and succeeded beyond my wildest expectations.

As I approached 30, my weight reached it highest and I ended up having to make a very hard decision - I had to have a hysterectomy. In the end - this decision saved my life. A year or two later, and my husbands inability to hold down his 10th job in 7 0r so years, pushed him to search outside of the state for a job. I still remember him calling me from Birmingham- giving me an ultimatum - either come or divorce. Not that he really wanted me with him, but the thought of failing publicly-alone-in my hometown was too much. I went. I dragged my two exchange students with me. I left my career, my friends, my family, everything familiar. My beautiful home and garden. I left my dogs, one of my cats, and I tried - oh how I tried to make the best of it.

One week after arrival - I ended up in the hospital with meningitis. Stayed there for a very long time, poked and prodded. I did not have a job. Could not find one in my field. I sat alone, in a city with no friends, very sick, away from all things familiar with a man who did not love me.

Eventually - for whatever reason - I ended up taking the first "job" that was offered. Sad little retail job that hardly paid 300$ a week. It was something to do, and I did get free cosmetics! (I worked for Clinique.) While there I had to suffer through one more round of treatment for some issues - had to use a topical chemo treatment for my previous condition. One of my exchange students left our home - no surprise there. I tried my best to build a life in Bham - it was just too much. All I could think was how could I get out of this hell.

Finally - on vacation (July), my husband and I had a talk. I got the strength to tell him I was done. But I would stick it out for one year to see if anything changed. Needless to say - nothing did, it even got worse.

By November I made a wonderful friend from Egypt. We had so much in common and talked daily. Another miracle happened - I got a job back in my field. I was establishing REAL friendships at work. It seemed my life was maybe.. just maybe turning around.

On New Year's Eve - my husband asked for a divorce.

By Feb I was living on my own. Again. My friendship developed with my friend from Egypt - and by that November, I was madly in love with my egyptian and I traveled to Alexandria and we got engaged. Yes, it was fast - but it was RIGHT. I knew it in my bones. My job felt right. I stopped hosting students, so I could work on me. It was my time.

I battled immigration and K-1 Visa's and long distance calls. I tried to pick up the financial pieces after being left with a hail-storm of bills my ex created. I ended up with meningitis one more time. My blood pressure reached new heights. My job reached a critical low. My finances reached a critical low (with paying for international immigration.)

Finally in May of 09 - there seemed to be some sort of a light at the end of the tunnel. My egyptian arrived. We got married. We had an amazing party. We are slowly building. Finances are slowly returning to normal - health is improving - job is improving - friendships are strong - most importantly we have each other.

We have been going through an adjustment period - and I think we both feel like we have a plan. That is good. That is necessary.

With that being said - I hope in my heart of hearts, that 2010 is our year.

Only God knows what the future holds.. and as Yasser says - Inshallah - we will move to the next chapter with ease and grace.

I know, I know.. it's been awhile.

The appropriate beginning to this blog would be to apologize for my abscense. With that, I will begin with a feeble attempt. I am sorry for my abscense.

It is Christmas Day - technically the biggest holiday in my religious calendar. (Custom & Tradition wise.)

I am sitting at my parent's home with a keyboard that apparently sticks. I find myself hitting the back space just to put a letter in here and there.

I have absolutely no inspiration for writing today. I do have many reasons why:

1. I have a cold that my niece picked up off a nasty playground last week. She then tranferred the germs to my egyptian who apparently passed it on to my sister, and now I have my second cold of cooler months. Blah. I keep popping my off brand benadryl and sleeping the days away/

2. I am worried about all of the work I have waiting for me in another week. BIG time - BIG stuff.

3. I have to drive 4 hours to get home tomorrow. I am sure the whole way my signifigant other will nit-pick how much money we spent.. blah. blah.. blah

4. Christmas has not been the same since 1989 or so. That's when my Granny died.

5. Went to midnight mass with an unbeliever - and somehow they can just suck the joy out of life.

6. Recently discovered that a majority of my friends are all agnostic. Not sure how I feel about that.

7. I am not thrilled with my new hair cut.

8. I am definitely not thrilled about my weight.

9. I need some freaking hobbies.

10. Maybe I need xanax.

Cheers!

The one thing that can truly put you in the Christmas spirit is a GREAT Christmas song.

I am listing my absolute favorite songs!!

What are yours?

These are in order of my favorite!!

1.



2.



3.



4.


5.



6.


7.


8.


9.



10.



Finally -

My plea to Santa

Dear Santa,

*scratching of throat*

Uh.. hey there! Yep, It's me. Nicole.
I guess this is where I am supposed to tell you what a really good girl I have been this year. *blush* The truth is - I think I have definitely improved over the year.

This time last year I was begging for you to deliver my egyptian to me. But, alas - I spent Christmas without the love of my life - separated by the big blue ocean.

Patience. Patience is what you delivered. I have grown to become a very patient person - except when driving. I promise I am working on that.

Last year I was worried about so many things. Waiting... Wishing.. Hoping. I was just walking along and trying to make ends meet (mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually.)

Luckily, this year is a little different! I have a few more "simple" wants and needs.

If you think I have earned these items, I will be "patiently" (my new skill) awaiting by the Christmas Tree.

1. Positive Attitude. Seriously - new personality trait I am desperately trying to maintain.

2. I need a new straightener. Seriously.

3. Could you send me a new bottle of Coco Mademoiselle by Chanel? It is necessary for my good mood.

4. Movers. I am going to need movers in January - could you just supply them free of charge?

5. I would like a purple scarf.

6. Coffee. Lots and Lots of coffee.

7. A new couch. My dear Vampire Cat (no longer lives here) ripped my beautiful leather couch. I need something JUST AS COMFORTABLE.. and nice.

8. New HDTV. DVD player. Bose home entertainment sound system.

9. Sims 3. Yeah - it's time to graduate to a new game.

10. Finally - let's get me back into Dance classes.


Thank you Santa. You're the best.

Disappointing

Each of us encounters many disappointments in our lives. We experience it head-on, then we some how pick ourselves back up. We ride this wave of discontent over and over, like a vicious roller coaster.

What is your number one disappointment?

I think for me - people. In general.

I realize that's a little harsh, but it is true. I am sure I have greatly disappointed someone in my life. I can name a few people on one hand that I am sure I have let down in one way or another.

One of my biggest disappointments has been the inability to motivate myself when it comes to exercise. Here's the catch - I LOVE to exercise. I think there is some little demon just sitting on my shoulder and it induces a lazy haze over my day.

Another great disappointment is the inability to make someone happy. That's a hard one. You can try everything, but in the end you will wear yourself out and no one is happy in the end.

I thought I would make a small list of little items that disappoint me:

1. Rain at the beach
2. Car trouble
3. People with a bad attitude .. when you feel good.
4. Nothing good on tv
5. sickness
6. Insomnia
7. Toothaches
8. Discrepancies in the bank account balance
9. When some takes credit for something you did
10. A bad meal at a restaurant.

Or even worse - paying for a play or movie... and it was horrible!

Enough of that...

This or That - Would you agree?

Want to get to know me better? Want to know what I would choose? Here you go:


chicken or steak? Steak - though I am saying no to meat these days. But the smell of a juicy steak grilling is amazing.

cream cheese or cottage cheese? cream cheese is yummy

lima beans or kidney beans? Lima beans with a dash of pepper and a splash of vinegar

rice or potatoes? Potatoes!!

tomatoes or green peppers? Green Peppers - but not so much.

salt or pepper? pepper - I like a little spice.

zesty cheese dorittos or nacho cheese dorittos? Zesty!!!

white bread or wheat bread? White - without the crust. But no, it is not good for me, I know.

spahgetti or lasagna? Spaghetti

gum or lollipops? Lollipops

ice cream or frozen yogurt? Ice cream

popsicles or ice cream? ice cream

wings or ribs? WINGS

beer or wine? Wine

beer or cocktails? Cocktails

wine or champagne? champagne

spahgetti or angel hair? angel hair

sausages or bacon? bacon - but I have given up meat - and pork.

scrambled eggs or fried eggs? scrambled

swiss cheese or cheddar cheese? cheddar

regular yogurt or frozen yogurt? regular- plain - greek style

Trident or Excel? Trident

hot cereal or cold cereal? hot cereal

grapes or cherries? grapes - frozen

apples or oranges? apples

bananas or apples? bananas

lemons or limes? limes

carrots or celery? celery

regular cheerios or honey nut cheerios? honey nut

frosted flakes or corn flakes? frosted

coke or pepsi? hmmm... tight competition

7up or sprite? 7up

root beer or dr.pepper? dr. pepper

dairy queen or baskin robbins? dairy queen - I am old school

pig meat or cow meat? neither.. got to let it go.. got to let it go.. (my new mantra)

potatoes or sweet potatoes? regular

Mars bars or Snickers bars? neither.. yuck

watermelon or cantalope? watermelon

cantalope or honeydew? cantalope

mangoes or starfruit? neither

white milk or chocolate milk? neither

coffee or tea? coffee

milk in your coffee or cream in your coffee? cream

cappucino or coffee? cappuncino

alcoholic drinks or non-alcoholic drinks? either or.

honeycomb or alphabits? honeycomb.. wow.. miss that stuff

popsicles or freezies? popsicles

chips ahoy or oreo? chips ahoy

oreo or fudgeeo? oreo

turkey or chicken? chicken - but not a lot.. again.. saying goodbye

romaine lettuce or iceberg lettuce? romaine

broccoli or brussel sprouts? neither

stuffing or cranberry sauce? sauce

egg nog or cider? egg nog

cake or pie? pie

cheesecake or chocolate cake? cheese cake

pizza or garlic fingers? pizza

pizza pockets or pizza? pizza

regular pizza or dessert pizza? regular

sundae or blizzard? sundae

mcdonalds or burger king? mickey d's

kfc or wendys? NEITHER.

mcdonalds or taco bell? Taco bell

sweet n sour sauce or barbeque sauce? BBQ

subs or tacos? tacos

fruit loops or fruity cheerios? fruit loops

juice or kool-aid? juice

mild cheddar or old cheddar? old

water or milk? water

pop or juice? pop

pomegranate or papaya? pomegranate

soup or stew? stew

white rice or brown rice? neither

granola bars or chocolate bars? granola

fruit by the foot or dunkaroos? neither

peas or carrots? peas

peppermint or spearmint? peppermint

milkshakes or smoothies? milkshakes

pink popsicles or purple popsicles? purple

barq's root beer or a&w root beer? NONE

apple pie or pumpkin pie? Punkin

cherry pie or blueberry pie? blueberry

coconut cream pie or banana cream pie? banana cream

jello or pudding? pudding

chocolate pudding or vanilla pudding? oh no... umm.. vanilla

plain chips or salt n vinegar chips? salt n vinegar

onion chip dip or dill pickle chip dip? dill pickle

chocolate sauce or butterscotch sauce? butterscotch

fruity flavors or chocolate flavors? chocolate

brocolli or cauliflower? cauliflower

fruits or veggies? veggies

pancakes or waffles? pancakes

regular toast or french toast? feench toast

jam or peanut butter? PB

honey or maple syrup? honey

chicken noodle or vegetable soup? veggie

cream of chicken soup or cream of mushroom soup? neither

pop tarts or toaster strudels? strudel

grape kool aid or orange kool aid? grape

ketchup or mustard? mustard

mustard or relish? mustard

mayonnaise or miracle whip? NEITHER

hamburger or cheeseburger? cheese

hamburger or hot dog? hot dog

skittles or m&m's? m & Ms

Too busy to write

I have been one busy girl these days. Unfortunately, writing has not been one of my priorities. Sorry guys!

There is a 3 year old in my home. My niece. She has taken almost all of my attention - besides a new book I read. It was called "Leaves of Hope" and was Christian Fiction. It was okay. It was about a girl from Tyler, Texas - who comes home from her "big city" job in NYC to see her widowed mother to find a HUGE family secret. It takes her across the world to Africa, India and England. Falls in love, finds the "truth" and loose ends tied.

Quick read. Light Hearted.

I am reading another vacation "light read" - Savannah Breeze. A silly book about a 3-times divorcee who falls for the wrong guy and opens a cheap motel on Tybee. Oh yeah - light, light, holiday read.

Next thing to think about - New Year - New Beginnings.

Have you began thinking of these things yet? I am slowly doing so. Work. Personal. Physical. Spiritual. I have some thinking to do. Some changes to make - or rather - some improvements.

Speaking of improvements. I am watching some hideous true-life reality-docu on MTV about the Jersey Shore. Can I say one thing about these girls and guys - GAUDY. Vulgar. Tacky. Yuck. Sorry. Yet - another show proving how tacky this area is - to me.

Okay, I am just babbling.. trying to catch you up while I am on vacay.

I will get serious again, for now - I just want to babble.

Until next time..

I guess I need to list my "Thankful" items

I feel like I HAVE to list the items I am Thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day.
To perfectly honest, it has been one helluva year.

I did a photo montage of the good days. I take my little red digi cam with me everywhere. So I DO capture the moments that make me happy.

Those moments are always good.




Okay. With all of the trials and tribulations Yass and I have gone thru this year with immigration and $$$ and jobs and what not - here is a list of the things I can truly be thankful for.. (let me dig deep down...)

1.Each other. Yass and I are finally back in the same country together.

2. A fabulous and fun wedding reception party - Arabian Nights. And more important - it was not ME who fell this time at a party. lol

3. My purple flats are wonderful.

4. I now know how to make tahina. The Secret is out!

5. I still have a very cool job.

6. I bought my little bug this year. Always wanted one.

7. I found a Christmas Tree for $20.

8. Finally found my "natural" hair color.

9. Broke my addiction to guacamole.

10. I managed to "quit" all of my extra-curricular activities that took away from me lounging on the couch. Now I can truly practice laziness.


Yep.


Happy Thanksgiving. *bah humbug*

Home - But Not Home - Yet it IS Home.

I am BACK! Sorry for the delay in writing.

Let's see - I left off on Tuesday - and yes, I survived the visit to the cardiologist. Yass DID go with me, but as luck would have it - they did not allow him in the first exam room (where the EKG takes place.) So my silly little fears were put to rest. LOL

EKG - Beautiful. Tumor? Nope. Next steps - Sleep Disorder Study. Oh yes.. my little twisted readers, I just might have sleep apnea which could be contributing to my higher bp readings in the a.m. LOVELY.

The D-O-C prescribed swimming. Yep. I guess once I get thru a few things, that will be the next item on my to-do list.

Weight - doing good!

Diet? Blew it at my parent's home. Oh yes.... I traveled home for a Thanksgiving feast (a week early) and ate soooo many mashed potatoes with GRAVY and I drank several caffeinated beverages and had pie.

Bad Bad Bad.

But I am home, and back to normal.
Speaking of home.. this is home now. My reality. It is official. I don't even recognize my life in the land before the present.

IMMIGRATION.

Yes - the big Green Card interview took place. Waited 2 hours for our BIG 10 minutes interview.

Question - Show me your ids.

done

Raise your right hand - Do you swear to tell the truth.. blah blah blah..

yep

Yasser - are you a terrorist, worked as a prostitute or ever a member of the communist party?

nope

How did you meet?

this that the other

Who is this in the picture?
My dad

Okay - We need your vaccinations. It says you never had any.

How could I get into the country without them? Blah Blah Blah.

We do not have your records

Here is the certified copy from the Ministry of Health from Egypt turned into the embassy so I could ENTER the country.

Not acceptable.
Here's a new form. You have until December 18th.

What next?

You are approved pending receipt of Vaccinations. Expect Green Card in 4 - 6 weeks after you send your records.

*******

Yes. That was it.

hahahahahaha.

*sigh*