Sunday, April 1, 2012

I am.

This morning started off a little shaky for me. All over some coffee creamer.

Long story.

But I sat here, staring at the computer screen, trying to come up with something to write about.

Typically, I would go into a tirade on personal space versus gratitude- particularly on today's fiasco. But because I am trying to be more conscious of how much I "share" with you, I am holding back.

Again, long story.

As I continued pondering, and just trying to shake off the bad mood blues, I came across this quote: You are a result of your experiences. Why regret who you have become?

I love it.

I think over the past few months, I am more and more aware of who "I" am, than ever before. Try sitting through numerous interviews, being asked a bazillion questions about who you are and why you are the way you are, and about everything you have ever done. Even when going through the unemployment process for unemployment benefits - explaining who you are, where you live, and your life choices. Then there is immigration, where my husband and I have to explain why we choose one another, and in turn, have to prove our love over and over to government officials. Always the same questions. Why and How?

At the end of the day, I am who I am, and I act the way I do - because of my past experiences. The choices I have made are mine alone. The words I use, the tone I intend, the extent of what I share with you here - all make up me.

I often think we try to fit a certain mold for people in our life. If our significant other is looking for a certain type of companion, we try to become those pieces that are not a part of our selves. At work, if we are trying for a promotion, we tend to want to incorporate more of the skill set that "they" may be looking for. All of this may be happening in a way to improve ourselves, then again, are we just trying to fill in the blank for our lack of experience with a certain aspect of life?

If you are your experiences, what does that make you?

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