Saying Goodbye.. in Style

On FB, I have been working on the 30 Day Song Challenge. A few weeks ago, I posted my choices here in a blog post. On Day #24 (which is today,) I was asked to share a song you would hear at a funeral. The song I picked is not one I think you would typically hear at funeral - but it is one I want sung at mine.

Morbid?

I don't think so.

Have you ever actually stopped to think about how you want to go out? You know, that final party, the last hoorah? I think too often we try NOT to think about it, and just skip over it. No one wants to think about dying, much less having to plan their own funeral.

I think my inspiration for thinking about the funeral came around the time my Great Grandmother died. She had her funeral planned out to a T. It kind of reminds me of that movie, 'Imitation of Life.' She lived poor most of her life, and any money she had, she saved up and planned a lavish funeral. She had a beautiful coffin, as far as coffins go - and an amazing spread of flowers. She had everything picked out, and would often talk about it with a smile.

I loved the way she thought about death. As long as I can remember, she always had the same answer to when I would ask,

" Granny, are you scared to die?"

"Oh no, child. When then Good Lord takes me, I am ready." Then she would often add a little comment about wanting to see her late husband again. She must have really loved that man, he died in the 1960's and she did not pass away until the 1980s. That's a long time to be without the one you love. I used to remember her washing her dishes (she did not have a dishwasher,) and she would often be staring out the window, as if in a dream like state. I would ask her what she was thinking about, and she would say, "I hope to see the Good Lord soon." :-)

I don't think she ever meant it in a way that meant she was unhappy with life. I really think she missed her husband. She was a very happy woman, and sweet as pie. Man I miss her.

Back to funerals:
Sooo.. I have one more question for you guys. Have you ever come close to having to plan your own funeral? You know, actually go though something that might actually kill you? Sickness? etc.

It's amazing how quickly you begin to take the idea of being ready for something waaaay more seriously. I remember, before a certain operation, I wrote in my journal all of the details I wanted in case something went wrong. I also remember the first time I was in the hospital with meningitis, and was unsure how that scary disease worked, I often thought, "Man, I need to make sure I tell someone where that journal is."

The only decision I have not made is whether to be buried or cremated. I am simply not sure. Part of me is sort of practical and wants a viewing and burial. Then the romantic side of me wants to cremated and my ashes spread in some fantastic places.

God willing, I have plenty of time to decide.

Or do we?

Just two days ago, another friend of mine died. She and I went to middle and high school together. She is my age. She had a heart attack.

Time keeps on ticking... each day we are one day closer.

In closing, I am going to share the 3 songs I want sung at my funeral. This has NEVER changed, for as long as I have lived.

At least, I know THAT for sure.

Peddling Your Wares

Here's the thing - I don't actually make anything worth selling. Seriously. I guess I did not inherit that gene. My mom - she paints, draws, can crochet, sew, do macrame (remember that stuff?) and just about any other craft you can imagine. Oh yeah, and she can cook.

My sister, she is right behind her. Dad? Amazing calligrapher.

Me? I can annoy you with my twisted humor and non-stop chatter.

As I go through so many blogs, I see some really creative people. You guys have amazing skills! You could actually make some money from your wares!

I want to introduce you to just a few REALLY creative people and their blogs...

A Crafty Kind of Truffle

Bonehead Studios

Cakes by Dawn

Davida Parker Photography

Favorite Vintage Finds

Food Floozie

From Chaos Comes Happiness

From the Desk of Jim Reed

Gypsy Magic

iHeart Scrapping

Kitsch N Sink Studio

Kitsch N Sink/Half Baked

Laura Rowe Photography

LBR

Living With Art

Middle Georgia Art Association

Moonlight and Magnolias

Renew Your Space

Style Maniac

Sugar Plum Delights 

Words of Me Project

These are just a few of the VERY creative bloggers that I follow out there. Some are strictly sharing their "art form" or some you have to look for their DIY tab or Store.

Open up a few, follow a few - and let me know which ones you like the most! :-)

Tossing Out the Clutter

 One of the many things I have learned through the "Happiness Project" book is the importance of tossing out the crap.

That's the only way I can think to explain it.

Cut the clutter. Organize. Simplify.

Yeah, I like that word better - Simplify.

I decided to start at my office, since I spend a majority of my time there. I am slowly tossing out all of the silly knick-knacks we accumulate over time. You know the ones? The highlighter with the "hair" on top, the office "aquarium" that is a tiny little plastic box, or maybe even those felt flowers with a message from H. R.

GONE.

Seriously, I tossed it all. One of my co-workers came in and said, wow - your office looks so empty. I just smiled.

It kind of reminds me of something a good friend of mine (Telisa) said once, "I don't like to keep a bunch of stuff. I feel tied down. If I travel light - I can just GO!"

It does help me feel that way, I am invested, but can travel lighter.

Next stop - HOME.

Rewind - Before the blog

Right now I am reading a chapter on Marriage in my 'Happiness Project' book. It really has me thinking about my relationship. (In a good way.)

I decided to recap some "journal entries" I have pre-blog days. I am going to recap a few here over the next few days.. just to remember how far we have come.

Nov. 7, 2008

Yesterday was a monumental day in my life.

A struggle. A trial. A process.

 I got a first hand look at what it means to become an American citizen.

My fiance, the egyptian, passed the final portion of the "test" to immigrate to America, to marry me, and for the two of us to FINALLY start our lives together.

Two year process.

 Seriously.

If anyone can make it through an engagement this long, paperwork, and your entire lives pulled apart and love for each other questioned - then you deserve to be married!!

I won't go into great detail - just know we have struggled, begged, paid thousands - and finally we are heading down the path to our future. I would have moved to Egypt if necessary. Really I would. I loved it there, and I love the people and the culture.

 I am fairly good at foreign languages, I know I could master arabic in time - but the opportunites for me would have been limited. Here - the sky is the limit.

Not that this step is the end of our struggles. Actually it is only the beginning. Unfortunately we live in a world of bigots, ignorance and the uncultured.

I am a white, educated, american catholic who lives in the south. I am marrying an arab, educated, egyptian sunni muslim who lives a world away. Soon we will be together and will begin to live a life of cultural fusion.

However, we live in a region in the world that is so close-minded and honestly - extremely ignorant.I have patiently listened to friends, aquaintances, co-workers and random people on the street. I have read numerous "letters to the editor" and watch the pundits debate. I know what the world's view is. As a former journalist - I also know how to search for the truth, saturate myself with information and get the facts.

Unfortunately most people like to go on opinion. I have the facts - and I realize, it will never be easy for us. Recently I over heard some young (not even adults) share their opinions about a myriad of topics. it almost broke my heart to already see people so young forming such strong opinions about a group of people they truly know absolutely nothing about. *sigh*

Besides all of the struggles ahead - I could not pick a better man to stand by my side. Nor could I find a truer friend, a more passionate love, nor a better servant of God. I look forward to all of the good he will bring to my life - here, together.Those are my thoughts. Soo many, some so private. But I felt I had to express myself, especially considering all of the battles he and I will face and all of the exceptionally good times!Until next time...

Scheduling

As I was debating how to keep myself on track, I realized there has to be a more organized way (besides using my brain) to get everything I need to do - done.

Then I realized something: when it comes to work, I live by Outlook's calendar. Why don't I try scheduling my personal life there also?

For example, I need to get back into my exercise routine. I was doing so good for a while there, and I have sort of played hooky for a week. Part of my Happiness Project involves adding even MORE exercise to the routine of the week. It is supposed to bring me more energy, release endorphins, reduce stress, help me shed pounds, and over-all - feel great. I even actually ENJOY exercise - it's the motivation to actually do it I lack.

Which brought me back to one of my rules - I need to just DO IT. I am NOT naturally motivated. I have to push myself to do anything. I (truly) would rather lay around. I KNOW how to be lazy.. just not really how to relax.

I went for a short massage yesterday, with my Chinese Holistic folks. They tried to pound out a knot in my shoulder. When I went to leave, the little guy said (in broken english), "You have tense in shoulder. You relax more." I just smiled.

Yesterday went really well. Work was great - I got to visit with one of my radio partners, COX Radio here in Birmingham. They have moved to another location, and honestly, it helps me because the entire radio group is located in one building now, versus different studios. The main Promotions Director I work with gave me a little tour of the new studios. It's nice.

I even had lunch with the egyptian. I took him to FLIP Burger Boutique. The food there is awesome. I actually tried it for the first time last Friday, and as soon as I bit into the Butcher's Cut burger, I said, 'The egyptian will love this.' So he and I had lunch together yesterday. He loved it. Please click on the link above and check out the menu. Then scroll down to the milkshake selection. WOW.

Here are some pics from the egyptian's burger... then some pics from my Friday lunch. (Taken with my mobile phone.. sorry for the quality)

Friday I ordered the Butcher's cut (with frisee, blue cheese, redwine jam/sauce, vidalia onions, and then a side of fried bread & butter pickles.

This picture is hilarious. My Krispy Kreme Milkshake is smoking!!!

My friends - Jamie and Laura

In this picture, Laura was exactly 6 days from her due date - NOW she is two days!!!

The egyptian ordered the regular burger - and it has heirloom tomatoes, cheese, onions, lettuce and coca cola ketchup. He had a side order of french fries with smoky mayo

You can kind of see the decor behind me. Really cool white boothes.

Friday we went to celebrate our co-worker, Lisa's last day. She is moving back to Nebraska. (Lucky duck!)

Finally - Laura and her super large burger. BUT - she IS eating for two. :-)

Over all, yesterday was good. I fell asleep at 9:45pm, and woke up naturally at 6:46am. So far, the plan is working. I stayed pleasent, I prayed, I smiled, I planned, I accomplished..

I was happy.

Favorites - By Request

I am really excited to share with you guys a request from one of my followers. Sharon (who does not write a blog.. though LOVES to read them) wanted me to answer a few questions.

I have to laugh when I say a few.

She send me at least 100. LOL

Luckily, the answers are really short.

But I am afraid you will learn more about me than you ever wanted to know.

Soo.. without any further ado..

Here are my "FAVORITES" - requested by Sharon.


Band - When I think BAND - I think rock n' roll, and people playing instruments. If that is what I am basing this answer on, I would have to answer - The Who. Hands down.



Duo - This one was hard. But the song that keeps popping in my head is by The Civil Wars. They are a fairly new group, and I really like how they harmonize.
Solo - Oh man... this one is hard.. it's a 3 way tie for me: John Legend, George Michael or Sting.


All Time Favorite Song - "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey


Album - Jagged Little Pill, Alanis Morrisette


Album Cover - Rio - Duran Duran


Radio Station -NPR


Guitarist - Carlos Santana


Bassist - John Taylor


Drummer - Tommy Lee


Pianist/Keyboardist - John Legend


Any other Intrumentalist - Will Ferrell and his Cow Bell


Singer-Female - Adele


Singer- Male - Jared Leto - (since I have already mentioned my favorite solo artist.) I LOVE Jared's voice.


Instrument - Drums


Rock Song - Dream On by Aerosmith


Hard Rock Song - Here I Go - Whitesnake.


Classic Rock Song - Sympathy for the Devil - The Rolling Stones


Metal Song - One - Metallica


Pop Song - Freedom - George Michael


Rap Song - Empire State of Mind - Jay Z


Hip-Hop Song - None of Your Business - Salt N Pepa


Alternative Song - The Kill - 30 Seconds to Mars


Punk Song - American Idiot - Green Day


Cover Song - Billy Jean - David Cool


Love Song - I Don't Want to Miss a Thing - Aerosmith


Happy Song - Smile - Kirk Franklin


Sad Song - The Little Girl - J. Montgomery


Angry Song - Up in Here - DMX
Calming Song - The Only Exception - Paramore


Funny Song - Asshole - Dennis Leary


Song To Dance To - Anything by Michael Jackson


Lyrics from a song - Uncharted - Sara Barailles


Intrumental Song - Soul Sacrifice - Santana


Soundtrack - Moulin Rouge


Decade of Music - 80's


Music Video - Rock Star - Nickelback


Concert DVD - Tina Tuner


Concert Attended - Lenny Kravitz


Food In General - I love a potato. Any way you cook it.


Ethnic Food - Mediterranean


Junk Food - Chips
Healthy Food - Fruit


Snack Food - Tahini and crackers


Fruit - Strawberries


Vegetable - Potato


Meat - NO Favorite


Breakfast Food - Croissant


Lunch Food - Salad


Dinner - Taco


Sandwich - Grilled Cheese


Restaurant - In Birmingham - Iguana Grill


Fast Food Joint - NuWay (only in Macon)


Drink- Non Alcoholic - Diet Coke


Drink- Alcoholic - Patron


Dessert - Tiramisu


Ice Cream Flavor - I DO NOT have a favorite. I love them alllllllll


Ice Cream Topping - Hot Fudge


Cookie - Snickerdoodle


Cake Flavor - Strawberry


Pizza Topping - Extra Cheese


Spice/Herb - Cumin/Dill


Movie Theater Snack - Nachos with cheese or reeses pieces


Kiddie Food - corn dogs


Candy - White Chocolate truflles from Lindor


Gum - That sugar-free Key Lim Pie flavor


Book - The Historian


Authour - Anne Rice

Poet - Shel Silverstein


Classic Novel - Lady Chatterly's Lover


Horror Novel - Memnoch the Devil


Drama Novel - Turning Angel


Comedic Novel - Shopaholic Series


Sad Novel - The Pact


Romantic Novel - Pride & Prejudice


Crime Novel - Any by Greg Iles


Series - The Vampire Chronicles

Magazine - Psychology Today


Bookstore - Any and all. But I will admit, I do like B&N - but will gladly support a local one (if I can ever find one!)

Movie - Under The Tuscan Sun


TV Show - Sex & The City or True Blood


Movie Actor - Al Pachino


Movie Actress - Meryl Streep


TV Actor - Christopher Noth


TV Actress - Sara Jessica Parker


Movie Character - Frances in Under the Tuscan Sun


TV Character - Carrie - Sex & The City


Disney Character - Cinderella


Villain - Eric on True Blood


Hero - Lestat


TV Movie - ? Maybe one of those after school specials back in the 80s. LOL


Drama Movie - Crash


Animated Movie - Toy Story 3 was good


Disney Movie - The Little Mermaid


Comedy Movie - Euro Trip


Mystery Movie - The Constant Gardner


Horror Movie - The Exorcist or The Exorcism of Emily Rose


Superhero Movie - Batman


Documentary Movie - too many to mention - I LOVE LOVE LOVE documentaries


Drama TV Show - The News.. hahaha
Crime TV Show - Without a Trace


Comedy TV Show - Sex & The City


Animated TV Show - King of the Hill


Reality TV Show - Jerseylicious


Awards Show - The MTV Music Awards


Game Show - Dancing with the Stars


Talk Show - Oprah


News Show - 60 Minutes or Dateline


Talk Show Host - Phil Donahue was awsome back in the day


TV Channel - Bravo


Color - Light Blue


Number - 5


Letter - A


Time Of Day - 7pm


Day Of Week - Sunday


Month - October


Year - 1987


Decade - The 80s were pretty kick ass


Century - 1600s


Season - Fall


Holiday - Christmas or Halloween


Religon - CATHOLIC


Historical Event - Birth of Jesus


Historical Movement - Rennaisance period


Historical Person - Jesus


Boy's Name - Patrick


Girl's Name - Autumn


Clothing Store - Saks 5th Ave


Article Of Clothing - Yoga pants


Shirt - Soft cotton tshirt


Bottoms (Pants, Skirts, etc) - I do have one pair of jeans by LEI that I love


Shoes - My brown clogs


Underwear - comfortable


Accessories - I always wear my engagement ring


Makeup Brand - Mainly Clinique


Video Game - The Sims



Arcade Game - Pac Man


Superhero - Wonder WOman


City - Savannah


State/Province - Georgia


Country - Egypt


Continent - Europe


Language - French


Animal - Mon chi chi


Mammal - cat


Fish - Koi


Bird - Love Birds


Reptile - Snake


Anphibian - Frog Prince


Pet - Nanook (my Siberian) and Maximus - my cat - both RIP


Sound - Ocean


Smell - Spice


Taste - Tangy


Feeling - Love


Sight -- Smiles

Scenery - Nature


Board Game - Trivia or Life


Computer Game - You Don't Know Jack


Sport To Watch - Ice Hockey


Sport To Play - Tennis


Athlete - David Beckham


Flower - Orchid


Plant - Jasmine


Tree - Cherry Blossom


Dance - Latin


Hair Color - Dark


Eye Color - Blue


School Subject - Social Studies or English


Artist - Maxfield Parrish


*****WOW. I finish! ******* Want to answer the same questions?? Go For it!

REWIND - Father's Day Tribute

**I wrote this last father's day.. and honestly.. I would not change a thing!**

"He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. "

~Clarence Budington Kelland

This is a picture of my father in southeast Asia. I love this picture. It reminds me to keep that adventurous spirit. To travel. To be brave. To enjoy life.

My father is a quiet man. He is a man of few words. What I can tell you about him is that he loves to smoke a good pipe, he enjoys the written word, he enjoys the peacefulness of the outdoors, and he has an impeccable handwriting.

My father worked really long, hard hours when I was growing up. Too many. Still too many. But the quality time we spent with him was either talking, playing or laughing.  He would read books to my sister and I. He would play his records on the stereo. He would fiddle with his black powder rifles. He would piddle in the yard. That was my dad. Hard working. Quiet. Peaceful.

My father is actually very intelligent. He was valedictorian of his high school. He went on to college to study engineering, but left in order to join the Air Force during the Vietnam War. He traveled all over the place: Thailand, South Korea, Taiwan, the Philippines. He lived over there for several years. He came back and finished his college degree in Sociology.

Later he met a hot little blond southern belle - married - and began a family. In turn, he needed a job that paid the bills - so he began working for a milk company. He worked for Borden Dairy for over 20 years. Later he retired from there and went on to work at another Dairy company - and that is where he is today.

I often thought he could have done something else. He is entirely too smart - but I believe in my heart of hearts, he must find some sort of peace in it. Why else would he stay in the same job for so many years? It always concerns me on how hard he works now - his health is deteriorating, and I want his golden years to be spent in peace and happiness...

On to Father's Day memories...

One of my favorite memories involves one Saturday afternoon my dad (which I called daddy or daddy jack) took my sister and I to the park at a local college. He purchased happy meals from Mickey D's or a bucket of chicken (I can't remember which!) and paper kites. Luckily it was a very windy day - and we were taught how to fly a kite. Very exciting!!

I have many fond memories of my father. He was from Indiana, and all of his family decided to stay in the Midwest. My father came to Georgia by way of Robins Air Force Base. That's where he met my mother. (At a party!) We would spend a few summers up in Indiana. What do I remember? Corn fields, bad mitten, and people picking on me for my southern accent. ;-)

This Father's Day I wanted to share some of my memories of my dad. Most are good. Unfortunately my mother had to wear the hat of disciplinarian, so it is always easier to pick on her. ;-) Since dad worked all the time, my memories are a little different.

I am blessed beyond belief to have such strong men as role models in my life. My father is a good man. My mother's father was a good man. My father's father was a good man. I have since wanted only good, strong, intelligent men in my life. I am thoroughly impressed by a man who openly loves his wife, stands by his family and supports them completely, and has strong morals. There is nothing more valuable than that. I often feel sorry for my friends that come from broken homes. Not in a "oh you pitiful thing" way. Because I can assure you, you don't know what is missing if you never knew it.

I often joke and say I am a serial monogamer. I don't date around. I think it is because I came from a strong family background. You can imagine how devastating it was to divorce my first husband. (A VERY smart idea.. but hard one to make.) I hold very high standards for the men in my life - be it an intimate relationship or friendship. The major relationships in my life, unfortunately, did not have strong father figures. None of them had this powerful force to help shape them as men. (except for one.) I often think that explains so much in how a boy develops into a man. It is amazing to see how each one of them truly looked up to my father. In some ways, he was that role model so many did not have. (Yet, I doubt my father even realized it.)

To all of the fathers out there reading this today - remember you are shaping your son's reality. Your actions are teaching your boys how to treat women, how to provide for a family and how to inspire and lead others around you. If you have a daughter, you are showing her what a true, good solid man is. You are teaching her what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior from her husband.

I only hope that each of my family friends have a wonderful father's day. Moms get a lot of attention - while dear, ol' dad sits back in the shadows working hard, and trying to provide. Let's celebrate DAD today!

I will do so by sharing some of my favorite pics of my father and I! Enjoy!

Well - we will start with a more recent pic - here is my father with my mom!

I had to share this one - this is one of my dad and my niece having a tea party.... and let's just say, it's not his first trip to a tea party!! (You'll see soon!)

Happiness Project

The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. ~Mark Twain

I have NOT forgotten about sharing my "Happiness Project" journey with you. While I have been trudging through the week - I have been researching how I plan to embark on this happiness project.

One of the ideas that the book with the name-sake  "Happiness Project" recommends is to actually create your own 10 commandments. A personal code of honor. Hmm.. that actually sounds a little daunting, but I decided to take a stab at it.

I want to encourage you to do the same. Create your own little personal commandments.

Okay - let's get to it:

Nicole's 10 Commandments:

1. Do NOT allow anyone to steal my JOY.

2. Roll with the punches.

3. Instead of fleeing, plant my feet firmly in the ground and stand tall in times of trouble.

4. Practice Compassion.

5. Take responsibility for your mistakes.

6. Stop being lazy.

7. Stop trying to control others - control the one person you have complete responsibility for - myself.

8. Express, don't repress.

9. Create. Smile. Breathe. Love. Trust.

10. Turn to the original 10 commandments and God for true guidance.

Sooo... 

That's all I've got.

Now, I need to make a list of items that truly bring me happiness (that I already practice.) Then I need to schedule these items into my weekly schedule:

Things I currently have in my life that makes me happy:

1. Writing

2. Photography

3. Learning

4. Movement (Dance)

5. Meditation

6. Prayer

7. Reading

8. Music

9. Exploring

10. Service

What I think I will do daily - is break down one commandment and one "happy" item and figure out how it applies to my life.

If any of you want to join me on this journey - there is one book I need you to pick up from the Library or buy it!

I am reading: The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin.

Gretchen shares her personal 12 commandments (I went with 10..) Here they are:

Be Gretchen.


Let it go.

Act the way I want to feel.

Do it now.

Be polite and be fair.

Enjoy the process.

Spend out.

Identify the problem.

Lighten up.

Do what ought to be done.

No calculation.

There is only love.

The ones I need to consider, I have made them bold.

That's it! So if you really want to be apart of my little Happiness Project - and try a few of the tips I am learning, simply let me know! Later, perhaps I will pop up a little linky tool and we can follow each others progress. This is not a blog hop - but a community pulling together to put a little joy back in the day!

The only tasks you have right now is - 1. Buy the book. (or check it out from the library, OR just follow along here.) 2. Make a list (as long as you want.. but preferably under 15) of your personal Commandments. 3. Make a list (only 10) of things you currently do that bring you happiness.

Let's just start there. It's all about being self- aware.

Here's to happier days!

I do love a good Saturday!

Saturdays are really fabulous! Don't you agree? How can you NOT like Saturday? Even if some of you work on Saturday, doesn't the energy just feel different?

It is actually 11:30pm on Friday night as I type this. The egyptian fell asleep watching BET (which, BTW, he loves "black cinema.") He is sprawled out on the couch, I just don't have the heart to wake him up. We have been doing so wonderfully, actually laughing/talking/getting along - etc.. I hate to awake a sleeping dragon. LOL



What I love MOST about Saturdays are:

1. The possibility of sleeping later than usual.

2. Usually sunny skies.

3. The option to cook a really great southern breakfast.

4. A pool readily available.

5. Day trips calling my name.

6. ZUMBA

7. Shopping

8. Coffee talk with really great friends

9. Date night

10. ...

And for #10.. I have a new goodie to share! I am attending a new writing group on Saturday! It's through the group of Birmingham Professional Writers called - See Jane Write. Now we have smaller groups within that group meeting.. and it's called, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pens." How fun is that?

I actually think I will enjoy this group much more. The other group (from the workshop with the non-fiction writers) - was made up mostly of unpublished writers.. who seemed waaaay more serious. The ladies I am meeting are closer in age to me, and are basically professional writers and seem to have loads of personality. (Just from reading their online magazines or blogs or tweets.. and their super nice emails.) I am excited to meet this group! Once I figure out who belongs to which project, I will share the links to their blogs. It is a little confusing right now, not really having a face to go with a blog to go with a name and email.

I am ready for a little networking and fun! :-) What's up in your world on Saturday?

Also.. got another song I want to share, that I have been listening to a few times tonight. I think it helped lift my spirits up after the disappointment. Enjoy!

Disappointment

“Disappointments are to the soul what the thunder-storm is to the air” ~ Friedrich von Schiller

How do you handle disappointment?

I am not sure if I can put into words how I handle it. I start out with a "sort of" embarrassed feeling. You know? The cheeks turn pink, and I sort of feel like a loser. Then I go through a sort of panic mode.. then it changes to a, "Well.. that door shut."

Today I experienced a disappointment. I don't know if it was a major disappointment, well.. come to think of it.. it can't be a major disappointment. What I had hoped would happen, was not even a blip on my radar screen 3 weeks ago. Let's just say - it did not happen.. soo.. that MUST mean something different is out there for me, right?

It's not as if this "thing" was a dream of mine.. just a path to take, that turns out.. not to be the path for me. Not by my choice, but by their choice.

Okay... time to pick up my pack and keep moving....

*insert a silent scream here*

WHAT NEXT????

I have to make some decisions - and fast. I have a feeling one path is about to come to an end, and I need to take a detour. Sooo many things to consider, and no safety net to catch me.

Damn - a Leap of Faith is my next chapter. Damn. I hate those chapters.

Lovely

A great song to start our day off with. Push play - scroll below for the lyrics. :-)





I don't wanna be her


I just wanna be little old me

I shouldn't have to think

Who am I supposed to be today

And what gave you the right

To tell me who I should be

Who gave you that right



Cuz, I feel LOVELY just the way that I am

Yes, I feel LOVELY the way that I am



I know you want the best

Yeah only good things for me

But you have to realize

I can't be all these things you project on me

Cuz I'm beautiful to me

Doesn't that mean a thing?



I feel LOVELY just the way that I am

Yes I, I feel LOVELY the way that I am



I need that to be enough for you

I need that to be enough for you

Cuz it's enough for me

It's enough for me



Am I supposed to give up everything I am

Just to make you happy?

I thought I was the one you always wanted me to be

It turns out

I'm just little old me

I'm just little old me

And that's fine by me



Cuz I, I am LOVELY just the way that I am

Oh yes I am

Yes I, I am LOVELY the way that I am



I am LOVELY, LOVELY

I am LOVELY

I have a confession to make

"The World is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page."

 ~St. Augustine

When I was 12, if you asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up, I would say a TV Reporter. If you asked me why, I would say, "Because I want to tell people about the world. Maybe they don't know about it."

That was my 12 year-old answer.

If you asked me when I graduated from high school, I would respond with, "A Television Foreign War Correspondent." If you asked why, "Because I want to explain what's going on all over the world."

That was my 18 year-old answer.

If you asked me when I graduated from college, I would respond with, "A Television Producer. But if that doesn't work out, I want to travel to remote villages and do documentaries on other cultures. And if THAT doesn't work out, I could always teach English in another country."

But there was one answer I did not share with you. I have ALWAYS said, "One day, I want to join the Peace Corps. Even if it is for one term."

That's my "always" answer.

People... I think ... in approximately 2-3 years, I'm going to do it. Seriously.

Just what is the Peace Corps?

Peace Corps service is a life-defining leadership experience. Since 1961, the Peace Corps has shared with the world America's most precious resource – its people. Volunteers serve in 77 countries in Africa, Asia, the Caribbean, Central and South America, Europe, and the Middle East. Peace Corps Volunteers live, learn, and work with a community overseas for 27 months, providing technical assistance in six program areas: education, youth and community development, health, business and information and communications technology, agriculture, and environment.




Folks - it only makes sense for me. I have been thinking about it.. and thinking about it.. and it just is EVERYTHING I have prepared for in my life. From taking course in high school in french and foreign relations; to Minoring in International Studies in college; to spending entire summers out in the middle of the woods, roughing it at Girl Scout camp; to hosting over 14 exchange students; to MARRYING a permanent exchange! I volunteer when I can (through letter writing campaigns) with Amnesty International. I am passionate about this type of work. Yes.. it is my passion.

So here is what I think I might do. Go to school at night (or in my spare time, however that works) and possibly go for another degree - this time in Sociology. While that is happening, work on helping the egyptian with his final teaching certification here (as well as his citizenship process. Which will be one year from this coming January.) I have been trying to spike his interest about this. He is a teacher, he does speak numerous languages, and they DO take married couples. The process to get accepted and a placement takes well over 1 year. Why not go for it??

Some of you may be asking - what are the benefits? Well.. here is what they are:

What Are the Benefits?


Peace Corps is a life-defining leadership experience you will draw upon throughout your life. The most significant accomplishment will be the contribution you make to improve the lives of others. There are also tangible benefits for you personally and professionally.

Dollars and Sense
Student Loans: some are eligible for deferment and some for partial cancellation
Transition Funds: receive $7,425 (pre-tax after you complete your 27 months of service)
Free Travel: expenses for travel to and from your country of service are paid for
Living Allowance: a monthly stipend to cover living and housing expenses
Vacation: earn two vacation days per month of service
Medical and Dental: receive complete medical and dental care while serving
Health Insurance: an affordable plan is available for up to 18 months following service
No Fee: unlike other international volunteer programs, there is no fee to participate in the Peace Corps

Career Builder
Whether you are just out of college, mid-career, or retired, the skills you learn as a Volunteer can help you achieve your goals and enhance your marketability with prospective employers. Peace Corps provides training in a foreign language, technical skills, and cross-cultural understanding. This, combined
with the experience of living, learning, and working with a community overseas for 27 months, augments any career path.

Graduate School
Volunteers can earn academic credit for their Peace Corps service and are eligible for scholarships, reduced tuition, internships, and stipends through participating schools. The Peace Corps offers two unique programs through partnerships with over 130 colleges and universities across the United States.



At the end of the day - it is another excellent reason I need to get my health in order. I must be within the medically recommended weight for my blood pressure. It's okay if I am taking meds, I just need to get it completely under control.

Game On.

That's really all I needed. A goal of sorts. I am ready to do it - regardless. Maybe it's 3 years. Maybe it's 4. But I think it makes complete sense. I want to get into a more of a community activist role. I want more to ignite this passion of mine - and I think it will make for an excellent addition to my writing and blogging.

It's a goal. Not this year.. but coming soon. ;-)

Much ado about nothing

Yesterday went just fine. Nothing special. Nothing earth shattering. No major profound thoughts.

I suppose that was my miracle.

For one, it was the good pay day. Do you know what I mean? The one in the middle of the month. The one that does not contain the "high ticket" items for bills. *insert sigh of relief*

My morning began quietly, the egyptian and I did not bicker on the way to work. Usually we sort of snip at each other, since neither one of us are morning people. I just kept my mouth shut and we traveled on.

After dropping him off at work, I headed across town to my job. Usually I go into full-fledged concert mode, blaring my ipod. BUT, when my dear friend Telisa came to visit, she was trying to pull the cord that attaches to the Ipod out of the seat, and accidentally yanked the end off.. sooo.. I am now stuck with my ear phones. So my concert was a private one, and I am sure my ear drums are paying for it.

Since it was "pay day" - I decided to treat myself to an artery cloggin feast - Sonice Baby! When I go there for breakfast, I always order the #14: Croissandwich with sausage egg & cheese, tater tots, and 1 coffee with 4 creamers and 2 splendas. The whole meals is horrible for me. For one, I am sneaking in the pork that is completely not allowed when we go out to eat or in the home. The tater tots (which is what they give you for hash browns) are salty as all get out, and splenda, I am sure, will cause cancer.

But it was DELISH.

Then began my morning at the office. Which is always pleasant, because I REALLY like my co-workers. I love our morning talks (about work, but mostly personal) and I love their sweet spirit. I am lucky to work with a handful of really dynamic people.

Later I head down to a meeting with my media partner, Kristen from ABC 33/40. We met at one of my favorite restaurants. Luckily, I was able to pull the egyptian in to have lunch with me also. He and I got to the restaurant a little early, so it afforded us some time to chat for about 20 minutes. (Kristen was running late.) We said a lot of really good stuff to one another. We came to an understanding. I decided to not go into many details here, just know that I think we may have a break through. Maybe....

Kristen finally made it to lunch and told us it was her birthday! She said she knew she had to have lunch, and chose us to have it with. That means a lot to me. I'll tell you why. A while back, at another job, I took a personality test. They said I scored really low on the relationship with clients scale. Said that I knew how to get the job done, and would do it with a smile, but that it was not a concern for me to connect with my client.

I have to admit, that sort of stung. So - when I started working with the AHA, I made a point to see if I could change that. I have always had a bit of a wall up with people. I am friendly, and it seems like I am open and you are able to relate, but I always keep you at arm's distance. For once, while in Birmingham, I have let my guard down with everyone. Guess what? I am making friends MUCH easier. And here was one of my client's, wanting to meet for lunch, because it was her birthday - and if she had to have a business meeting, she wanted it be with her favorite client.

Score!

After an almost 2 hour lunch, I went back into work mode. Following up with emails, making a few calls, celebrating in a few successes. (Our Birmingham office made their fundraising goal - excuse me, exceeded their goal!

Then evening came - and it was time to do a little grocery shopping. Now.. do you remember as a kid going grocery shopping? I HATED IT. I would always ride under the buggy, (yes, in the south we call it a buggy) and I would whine and complain. Each aisle we went in, if I saw something I wanted (candy, cookies, chips, sweet cereal) mom would just say NO. Then the worst one of all - the FREEZER section. I would shiver and beg her to hurry. I would say, "It's too cold!!" and she would tell me to be quiet.

As an adult, I feel the same way. As I scurry through the aisles, I am telling myself, "Hurry Up." "I want the sweet cereal." "It's too cold to walk through the freezer section." And then.. the most hated part of all - check out.

I typically shop at Publix. As much as I like to go to get random things at World Market, and my fancy cheese from Whole Foods, and my Arab Essentials at the Mediterranean store - Publix is my basic place. So here is the damage I did. I have to confess, I find it fascinating to see what people buy! Soo.. I am sharing my grocery receipt with YOU!!

At least I saved a few bucks. Note - I only used one coupon. LOL

After I drug all of those items up to my 3rd floor apartment.. (which, don't frown that the egyptian did not help - I did not want him to. I see it as a way to get exercise.) I then spent the next 30 minutes, reorganizing the pantry, etc.

THEN - I wanted to share with you guys the movie I watched - The Experiment. Have you seen it? WOW. Intense and every-so-slightly bizarre. I insist you check it out.

Anyway, the evening ended with the egyptian and I watching the Mummy in bed together. Guess what? I felt peace, I felt love, I think I got my miracle.