The truth is... I haven't felt like writing in months. Not really writing. I go through phases of wanting to share something that happened or something I was feeling.. then for some reason I talk myself out it. I begin a paragraph.. then shoot it to draft, never to see again.
As I was walking up the stairs to my office this morning, I realized that I have not taken enough time for deep reflection. I'm sort of auto pilot, experiencing all of the good that God has blessed with me, yet not really soaking it in. I am incredibly lucky right now, in so many ways. However, I have let life, the hectic-ness of the world, and everything else stop me from truly taking stock of what is important.
I find I'm tired. I always seem to be tired. I just can't get enough sleep. I assume it is because I am in the middle of a learning curve with my job, adjusting to a new relationship, and trying to re-sort what used to be.
My life looks completely different than it did a month ago. All of the characters have begun to change - my roomie stays at her boyfriend's home more often than not, my co workers are an entirely new cast of characters, and I am getting to know a new partner and all of his family. No one's face is familiar, no one knows my weaknesses or strengths, and no one has a true connection with me..yet. It's coming, but that oh so famous transition... I'm right in the thick of it all.
Breathe. That's what I need to do more of. Just slow my breathing and slow my thought process.
I need to recognize when I have reached my brain limit. I am learning so many new things that sometimes I forget, I really can't do it all just perfect the first go around.
I need to trust the process. I need to have faith everything is going to be okay.. and I need to embrace the good that has been brought into my life.
Soooo.. what's new with you?