I cleanse/exfoliate/moisturize/groom.
I try to get enough sleep.
I try to drink tons of water.
I try to stay out of the sun.
I condition/color/style my hair.
I do everything that is required to take care of my face.
Except.. I'm just not loving what I see.
Every pic I see of myself I absolutely hate. Even the ones that I know in my heart are good ones. I'm hating my hair. Hating my eyebrows. Hating my makeup. Hating my complexion.
I'm not sure what is really going on here, but I know it isn't pretty. (Pun intended.)
Ever feel this way?
Like you are going through an adult version of an ugly phase?
I look back at photos from when I was 10, 11, 12.. and let's just be honest, I was not a cute kid. My face looks long and freckly, my eyelashes have always been really light, and my hair was long and stringy.
The way I felt back then is how I am feeling now.
Of course, I logically know I am not going through this phase. But what I need to understand is why am I feeling this way? Is it hormonal? Is it psychological/stress? Is it because I don't have validatio from a job? Is it the fact that I have to depend on myself to give me compliments... no significant other to remind me I am beautiful to them?
That last statement sort of made me choke back a tear for a moment.
Don't worry... by gones..
But what is it?
Do I just need to build my own self-esteem?
This is all foreign to me.. sooo... what do I need to do to "re-encourage myself?"
And there you have it...
Haven't I said it a million times - it's about self awareness.
*smh*
Maybe I just need a weekend at the spa and a good love interest. ;-)
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