Like all forgetful people juggling too much, it took just a minute for me to remember to read my little devotion. If you have been following me for a while, then you remember over the years the little book I keep on my desk, Journey to the Heart by Melody Beattie. Today's meditation spoke volumes to me, and it might do the same for you.
I just have to share!
It started out simply with "Let the magic begin!" Of course, being the romantic/imaginative person I am, my creative little heart went aflutter. Then it got down to business, as if the author was speaking directly to me, based on where I am in my life right at this moment. She said, "At some point in the journey, we may become tired, weary, and confused. Homesick. All the mountains, scenery, the food, the people, the experiences just don't do it for us anymore. We want to go home."
I sat there staring at those words. We want to go home. Lord, knows I want to go to my home. Whatever that looks like. I am ready to just put down roots and grow. Commit to a community and make it work. I'm ready. Right now, I'm living with my sister, which is a complete help to both her and I. I am enjoying spending time with my niece, but I miss my personal space. I miss being independent. I miss my sense of family. I mourn my past marriage - not so much the incredible amount of dysfunction, but the idea of building my life with someone - for a purpose.
The meditation went on to say: What am I doing here? we wonder. Nothing worthwhile is happening.
The words were written as if they were plucked right from my mind. I came back "home" (which happens to be my hometown) not by choice, but because I had to. Don't get me wrong, I am glad I am here. That is what home is. But oftentimes, there is a bit of resentment festering in me when I am around our town's cheerleaders. Yes, there are WONDERFUL things happening, but on a personal level, IT. WAS. NOT. A. PART. OF. THE PLAN.
Then the meditation said: Yet another part of us knows the truth and whispers, "Yes, something is happening, something worthwhile."
Those words reminded me that everything happens for a reason. Yes, yes.. it seems incredibly cliche, but it is true. I have accomplished so much in such a little time. I've only been back almost four years and somehow I find myself running a museum (dream job - hello?!) and right in the middle of everything that is happening. I actually get paid to do what I love - and that is write (I freelance,) and I am surrounded by family and friends. Not to mention I have a great guy in my life. But that brings me to the next part. Home. He lives almost two hours away. It's hard. We've been together almost 11 months.
The meditation went on to say: "Feeling homesick is part of the journey. It can mean we have reached a turning point. "When we get to that place," a friend once said, "it has really begun."
I'm there. The transformation must be happening. Everything is set in place. Everything. Now what?
"Stay present for yourself and all of your emotions. You've worked through so much. Don't stop now. Getting through this place, this point, will turn your life around."
Isn't that the truth? Many of you remember the struggles I had in Birmingham with my husband, the cultural differences, the demanding job, the extensive work travel, and being away from family. It was not easy. But I worked through it.
"You've learn and grown, you've worked so hard healing your heart and cleansing your soul. Your spiritual growth has been profound. But until now, all the work you've done has been to prepare you for where you are going."
THIS is what struck me. I sort of had an a-ha! moment. In order for me to heal, I needed to be in a safe place, where people I have known my entire life would be by my side. I worked hard to rebuild, and I think I have done a good job. But I am just so darn antsy for the next phase. (And come on.. I know ya'll can read between the lines on this one.)
"You've seen only a little of what life has to offer. You're about to walk through a door. Now that your heart is open, you'll see, touch, and know even more of life's wonders. It's the reward for where you've been. Keep feeling your feelings and trusting your guidance.
Let the magic begin!"
I don't think a horoscope could make me any happier. It sort of said exactly what I needed to hear. I'm 42. I've had a very full life, but the best part is - The best days of my life have not even happened yet!
Yes, LET THE MAGIC BEGIN!