Monday, December 19, 2011

Throw a little spice in it..

I like powerful stuff. Think hot sauce, altoids and strong personalities. It sort of goes back to my obsession with passion.

When I sit down for a meal, I want to taste strong herbs and spices. If something is bland, I tend to turn my nose up at it. I do this so much so, that I typically douse most dishes with either some form of vinegar or hot sauce. I will saturate my ground beef in pepper and cumin, I will make sure my melted butters are full of garlic, and if a recipe calls for a chopped onion - I go for the most pungent.

When I read a book, I want to be swept away with the characters. I want to dive in and get completely lost in the plot - I want to cry when they cry, feel terrified as they round a corner, or even feel a sense of relief when all comes together in the end. The same applies to television shows or movies. This is probably why I try to stay away from movies about animals, I am such an animal lover that I just might cry my eyes out over a movie about one.

When it comes to my relationships - same rules apply. I want to surround myself with vibrant, colorful, creative people. Passion has to be the center of the entire relationship, which would probably scare off the typical American man. When I fight - I fight hard. When I love, I love even harder. No in betweens for me, please. ;-)

That's why certain things do not appeal to me. I like bland items, but it is not something I would incorporate into my life. For example - when I go shopping, anything with color draws me instantly. I like bold, I like sparkly, I like things that add a little flavor. I am not afraid of bold eyeshadow, or colored eye liner. I wear lipstick, and will not step out of the house without perfume. I have some friends that would NEVER think of wearing a lip color or bright red shoes. I like my middle eastern pillows on my couch, while one of my dearest friend's has decorated her entire house in neutrals. It fits her, but would not do my soul any good at all.

When I meet people, and they are meek and mild, I tend to not connect as well as I do with someone who happens to be vivacious and spunky. Polished, organized, strategic turns me off - the polar opposite ignites my spirit.

Why is this? Is it chemistry? Is it simple "birds of a feather flock together?" I took the Myers-Briggs personality tests a couple of years ago and discovered I am an ENFP - Also known as the Inspirer. A quick anaylsis of this personality identified me as - Enthusiastic, idealistic, and creative. Able to do almost anything that interests them. Great people skills. Need to live life in accordance with their inner values. Excited by new ideas, but bored with details. Open-minded and flexible, with a broad range of interests and abilities.

Ding! Ding!

A little more info on my personality type:
ENFPs are warm, enthusiastic people, typically very bright and full of potential. They live in the world of possibilities, and can become very passionate and excited about things. Their enthusiasm lends them the ability to inspire and motivate others, more so than we see in other types. They can talk their way in or out of anything. They love life, seeing it as a special gift, and strive to make the most out of it.

This paragraph sort of hit the nail on the head for me:

ENFPs have an unusually broad range of skills and talents. They are good at most things which interest them. Project-oriented, they may go through several different careers during their lifetime. To onlookers, the ENFP may seem directionless and without purpose, but ENFPs are actually quite consistent, in that they have a strong sense of values which they live with throughout their lives. Everything that they do must be in line with their values. An ENFP needs to feel that they are living their lives as their true Self, walking in step with what they believe is right. They see meaning in everything, and are on a continuous quest to adapt their lives and values to achieve inner peace. They're constantly aware and somewhat fearful of losing touch with themselves. Since emotional excitement is usually an important part of the ENFP's life, and because they are focused on keeping "centered", the ENFP is usually an intense individual, with highly evolved values.

Here is another "ding ding ding" moment:

Because they are so alert and sensitive, constantly scanning their environments, ENFPs often suffer from muscle tension. They have a strong need to be independent, and resist being controlled or labelled. They need to maintain control over themselves, but they do not believe in controlling others. Their dislike of dependence and suppression extends to others as well as to themselves.

ENFPs are charming, ingenuous, risk-taking, sensitive, people-oriented individuals with capabilities ranging across a broad spectrum. They have many gifts which they will use to fulfill themselves and those near them, if they are able to remain centered and master the ability of following through.

Jungian functional preference ordering for ENFP:

Dominant: Extraverted Intuition
Auxiliary: Introverted Feeling
Tertiary: Extraverted Thinking
Inferior: Introverted Sensing

That explains my need for interesting, GOOD stuff in my life.

Then I got to thinking about my future - what career, if I should change my life's focus - should I look into?
ENFPs generally have the following traits:

Bright and capable
Warmly, genuinely interested in people; great people skills
Extremely intuitive and perceptive about people
Able to relate to people on their own level
Service-oriented; likely to put the needs of others above their own
Dislike performing routine tasks
Need approval and appreciation from others
Cooperative and friendly
Creative and energetic
Well-developed verbal and written communication skills
Natural leaders, but do not like to control people
Resist being controlled by others
Can work logically and rationally - use their intuition to understand the goal and work backwards towards it
Usually able to grasp difficult concepts and theories

Possible Career Paths for the ENFP:

Politician / Diplomat
Writer / Journalist
Television Reporter
Computer Programmer, Systems Analyst, or Computer Specialist

Now when it comes to personal relationships - what do I need to know?
Most ENFPs will exhibit the following strengths with regards to relationships issues:

Good communication skills
Very perceptive about people's thought and motives
Motivational, inspirational; bring out the best in others
Warmly affectionate and affirming
Fun to be with - lively sense of humor, dramatic, energetic, optimistic
Strive for "win-win" situations
Driven to meet other's needs
Usually loyal and dedicated

Most ENFPs will exhibit the following weaknesses with regards to relationship issues:

Tendency to be smothering
Their enthusiasm may lead them to be unrealistic
Uninterested in dealing with "mundane" matters such as cleaning, paying bills, etc.
Hold onto bad relationships long after they've turned bad
Extreme dislike of conflict
Extreme dislike of criticism
Don't pay attention to their own needs
Constant quest for the perfect relationship may make them change relationships frequently
May become bored easily
Have difficulty scolding or punishing others

Yep, yep and yep...

Now.. what about my LOVE relationship... what does the egyptian need to know about me:
ENFPs make warm, considerate, passionate partners who are generally willing, eager, and able to do whatever it takes to make The Relationship a positive place to be. They are enthusiastic, idealistic, focused on other people's feelings, and very flexible. These attributes combine to make them especially interested in positive personal relationships, and also makes them very able to promote strong relationships in fun and creative ways. ENFPs take their commitments very seriously, and are generally deeply loyal and faithful to their partners.

There are a couple of difficult relationship areas for the ENFP. The first problem is that many ENFPs have a problem leaving bad relationships. They tend to internalize any problems and take them on their own shoulders, believing that the success or failure of the relationship is their own responsibility. As perfectionists, they don't like to admit defeat, and will stick with bad situations long after they should have left. When they do leave the relationship, they will believe that the failure was their fault, and that there was surely something they could have done to save the relationship.

Sexually, The ENFP is creative, perfectionistic, playful and affectionate. Their rich fantasy world makes them fun and creative lovers, who usually have new ideas up their sleeves. They whole-heartedly embrace the opportunity for closeness with their mates, believing sexual intimacy to be a positive, fun way to express how much you love each other.

The ENFP needs to be given positive assurance and affirmation. More than one ENFP has been known to "go fishing" for compliments. They like to hear from their significant others that they are loved and valued, and are willing and eager to return the favor. They enjoy lavishing love and affection on their mates, and are creative and energetic in their efforts to please. The ENFP gets a lot of their personal satisfaction from observing the happiness of others, and so is generally determined to please and serve their partners.

A problem area for ENFPs in relationships is their dislike of conflict and sensitivity to criticism. They are perfectionists who believe that any form of criticism is a stab at their character, which is very difficult for them to take. Conflict situations are sources of extreme stress to the ENFP. They have a tendency to brush issues under the rug rather than confront them head-on, if there is likely to be a conflict. They are also prone to "give in" easily in conflict situations, just to end the conflict. They might agree to something which goes against their values just to end the uncomfortable situation. In such cases, the problem is extended and will return at a later time. The ENFP needs to realize that conflict situations are not the end of the world. They are entirely normal, and can be quite helpful for the growth of a relationship. They also need to work on taking criticism for what it is, rather than blowing up any negative comment into an indictment against their entire character.

What about you? What is you need in life? Is it spicy/passionate/sporatic? Or are you more of a calmer/introverted/planner? Either way, once we understand who we are, we are able to move forward and concentrate on our characteristics.

Funny pic.. being silly!
 Personally, I like to throw a little spice in that. ;-)

PS - Side Bar:
Famous ENFP:

Franz Joseph Haydn

Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain)

Will Rogers

Buster Keaton

Theodor "Dr." Seuss Geisel (The Cat in the Hat)

Mickey Rooney

James Dobson ("Focus on the Family")

Andy Rooney

Carol Burnett

Paul Harvey

Elizabeth Montgomery (Bewitched)

Bill Cosby (Ghost Dad)

Dom Delouise, actor

Dave Thomas, owner of Wendy's hamburger chain

Lewis Grizzard, newspaper columnist

I. King Jordan, past president of Gallaudet University

Martin Short, actor-comedian

Meg Ryan, actor (When Harry Met Sally)

Robin Williams, actor, comedian (Dead Poet's Society, Mrs. Doubtfire)

Sandra Bullock, actor (Speed, While You Were Sleeping)

Robert Downey Jr.(Ironman)

Alicia Silverstone (Clueless)


Andy Kaufman

Regis Philbin

Will Smith


Hoosier Chick said...

Hmmm. I may have a touch of this myself. :) Perhaps that's why we get along so well. Miss you, love you, thinking of you.

Leanne said...

WOW!! this explains SO MUCH! (I think I am a ENRPer, too!!) really cool, dear. Thanks for sharing. I think I'm going to have PG read this post. It might give him a bit of insight to the mind of Me. ;)

Doris said...

haha, well....according to this, you would find me very boring and likely turn and walk away from me! ;-) I am the low-key, simplicity-loving, organized, work-in-the-background kind of person. But my life is far from boring! It's just the way I like it - not bland, but definitely not too spicy. Too much spice is unnerving to me. Guess it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round, though. Merry Christmas Nicole!

Savvy Working Gal said...

I revisited my Myers-Briggs score a few weeks ago; I am an ISFJ. I know boring. I was a tad disappointed too, but as a read my profile a few times I had an AHA moment. This is who I really am and I spend too much time trying to be someone I am not. Just knowing my strengths and weaknesses I am so much more comfortable in my own skin.

By the way you are totally an ENFP. If an employer doesn’t recognize that creativity and passion pretty darn soon maybe you should start your own consulting company.

Leslie Limon said...

OMG! This post just confirms my suspicions that if we ever met in real life, we would get along so well together. :)

Like you, I go for the bright and shiny objects in absolutely everything!!! While everyone around me is dressed in all black or beige, I'm the one dressed in bright prints of red, yellow and purple. Or animal print! :P

I took the Myers-Brigg test years ago too, but I can't remember what I was. :P


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