Destination:Unknown Blog Hop

That's right my friends - I have decided to throw my own little blog hop! Can you believe it?

Hopefully, this can become a weekly item on Sunday! (I am doing a little sneak peek for Saturday... since this is the first official one!)



Each week I hope to have a different theme for the link up! By posting randomly on Saturday - it will allow you time to write a piece around the theme (WORD OF THE DAY!) Oh yes.. remember the "WOTD" posts my sister and I used to challenge each other with? Bringing it back, and bringing it back Blog Hop Style!

Here are the rules:

1. Stick to the themed word.

2. There are no rules as to what to include in your post - just needs to fall somewhere within the subject matter.

3. Make sure to link up!

4. Visit others who linked up

5. Leave comments!

That's it!

So let's get this little party started -

The Word (or Theme) of the Day for the Destination: Unknown Blog Hop is:

INSPIRATION

That's it - write around this theme.. link up and have some fun!

Chicken Wings and Dragons Roars

You know it is a good day when your lunch includes chicken wings. No, not the most healthy food item, or is it best for the burning of the belly... but yummy all the same.

Publix's deli was selling these Cajun style wings- made with rosemary, paprika, pepper, cayenne and a few other fabulous herbs and spices. I just had to give them a try, and SO glad I did.

I have spent my lunch hour reading up on your blogs. Yes, I may not always comment, but I DO read every blog post that I follow. So if you wrote one today, I assure you, I read it.

What I love to see if the same theme that sweeps through during various times of year. For instance, right now - many of you are dealing with the changes/transitions/hopes/fears of a New Year.  What I find comforting in these posts is, we are all on the same wave length. We all want a new, "fresh" start - and we made our plans and are hoping for the best.

I have always prided myself on being a "strong" woman. I stand strong in my convictions, will stand up for what is right, and not afraid to speak my mind. I often encourage the passive aggressive folks or the soft spoken ones to "stand up" and "fight for what is right." What I think the hardest thing for someone that is more passive than aggressive is to understand that strength is not found in hurting others, it is in being confident. There is a HUGE difference in confidences versus being a blow horn.

The biggest mistake a person struggling with finding their "voice" is that they have squelched the fire that was burning inside of them for so long, that when they try to express themselves it comes off as a dragon roar. No one wants to hear that.. nor will they listen.

I decided to take a look at the "healthiest" way to "find your voice." Basically - how to express yourself. Being a tortured soul is one thing, acting like a caged animal released into the wild is another.

I found an article on the web that has some great advice! Written by: Greg S. Baker is a Pastor, Counselor, and Author specializing in building and strengthening relationships.
For more books and resources on how to communicate better, express yourself, and strengthen social skills, please visit his website at: fitlyspoken.org :


TIPS ON EXPRESSING YOURSELF
- Do A Lot Of Reading



Reading will help you learn how other people express themselves. Pay attention to word usage, diction, flow, voice and tone. These will give you ideas on expressing yourself.



Look up words that you've never seen before. Use them. They'll provide you with many and myriad ways of expressing your emotions. Often, I've found that a single word does better expressing what I feel than an entire paragraph of sentences. Learning new words will help you express yourself better and reading will help you to learn different ways to do so.



A wise man once said, not every reader is a leader, but every leader is a reader.


-Do Some Writing On Your Own


Do a variety of writing. Start a novel. Write letters. Keep a journal or diary. Often, you'll find that writing helps you to think your thoughts through. In the heat of an argument, you'll often say what you don't mean in a tone that creates more resentment. Writing will help you organize your thoughts. It'll give you focus and direction.



- Don't Fear People's Judgment



Social anxiety is not a disease. You can't catch it from someone who has it. It is a spiritual state of mind that is the direct result of fear. There is really only one type of fear and that is the fear of the unknown. Don't fear what other people think about you. Honestly, your imagination will create far worse scenarios than what most people will ever think.



To overcome your fear, try asking for their help. Try this, "I'm having a hard time expressing myself, and I thought maybe you could help me." Saying that will invoke an instinctual need that most everyone has-the desire to help and feel needed. Hardly anyone will be critical of you when you've asked for their help.



It also sets the stage to retract what you may say when you say it wrong. Since you've already warned them that you are struggling with expressing yourself, when you actually struggle with it, they'll just shrug it off. It's a great tool to overcoming your fear of other people's judgment.



-When You're Upset, Write A Letter


If you're furious at someone, then go ahead and write them a nasty letter. Just don't give it to them. Sleep on it. The next morning, go back over the letter. You'll find that your attitudes and perspective have shifted. I seriously doubt you'll send the letter under those conditions.



But more than that, sending someone a letter that is well thought out is a great idea when you're trying to express yourself. Look, letters can't be argued with, they can't be interrupted, and you can't derail the train of thought. In fact, even if the letter is negative, most people will read it all the way through.



Sometimes a well worded letter will allow you to convey your feelings where a conversation would not.



-Be Mature When You Express Yourself



I don't take people seriously when they rant, rave, swear, cuss, insult, deride, mock, or get stubborn. These are immature attitudes that prevent and hinder the expression process.



Here is a rule of thumb. If they are willing to talk about others behind their back, they will do it to you too. Let's stay away from the unproductive gossip, the insults, the profanity, and the finger pointing. These accomplish nothing. Think about it, when is the last time you actually made a situation better by swearing at someone? Maturity in conversation is thoughtfulness, consideration, and the willingness to listen. Show respect to others and they will respect you.

-Ask Questions


You'll be amazed at how easy it is to express yourself in the form of a question.


But the short of it is this, questions allow you to interact with others. They involve you in their thoughts, feelings, worries, and cares. This provides an opportunity to express yourself better to them. Expression is best done when there is good interaction. Thoughtful questions provide this platform.


DANGERS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO EXPRESS YOURSELF

If you have a fear of people, people will avoid you. It's a vicious cycle. You avoid people because you fear that they will hurt you. People see your aloofness, and either think the worst (that you're stuck up), or grant your desire and leave you alone. Then you wonder why it is that no one likes you.

When you can't open up to people, people will feel that you are unapproachable. You'll have a hard time getting close to people when you bottle everything up inside. Your relationships will all be shallow.

Your inability to express yourself will haunt you in times of trouble. You'll need help, you'll want help, but you won't seek it. You'll hide. So, no one helps you. Then you grow resentful and angry.

Another danger is that of isolation. You build walls around your emotions and people instinctively leave you alone. That might be what you wanted at first, but your life will be barren, and empty. Life is relationships. The stronger your relationships the more joy you'll have in life. No matter if it is with your mate, God, children, neighbors, co-workers, friends, relatives, or even yourself, you must learn to express yourself.

*****

There you guys go.. some good advice on expressing yourself. Finding your voice is what blogging is all about. It's great to have an outlet- finding a way to do it where it resonates with your audience is important. If you don't care about making connections with others- then I suggest purchasing a journal and writing in it by hand!

XOXO

Nicole

A little House Keeping Please

     “Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it is not all mixed up.” ~ A.A. Milne

I have been running non stop for the past three weeks. It's actually quite nice, and I am staying completely focused. However, a few other  slices of my life are falling into a bit of disarray. Example #1 - My Office.

For the most part, I like to keep my desk clean, and the stacks organized. Right now - that's the exact opposite of what I have. Due to the nature of my department, I have stacks and stacks of every newspaper in the major markets of Alabama. I am supposed to go through them, look for our articles or find stories that resonate with our city and address our mission and have someone write a "Letter to the Editor" or something like that. I am about 3 weeks behind. I swear, it's going to be a fire hazard. Normally I would get an intern to handle this, but unfortunately, when I need interns the most - they are never available. (Side note - people who are interested in becoming interns: Summer is the WORST time to do an internship... why? No one is super busy - that is vacation time. I need you NOW!) Sorry.. had to vent.

Then there are several little post it notes, and random pieces of paper, receipts, etc that are just shoved in little crevices. I have got to tackle this. I think tomorrow may be the day.

Example #2 - The House. I am keeping up with the laundry, just not the putting it away part. My things are spread across the bathroom counter, my vanity has all types of random items on it. (My little catch all.) I started this massive organization of my sun room/study and I still have my little piles laying around. The garbage needs to go out, I need to wipe down the counters, vacuum - I could go on and on. But I have been busy with work - not getting home until much later, then sprawling out on the couch for just about 30 minutes - then running off to the gym. I get back, find something light to eat - take a bath, then I head to the bedroom to become a zombie in front of the TV until I drift off.

Example #3 - My blog. Oh- it has suffered. I do apologize for that. My quality of posts are lacking. I am either too busy or too tired to get controversial or thought provoking. I think the election and the fact that my love is not here to become my muse was just too much. My theory is - it is my brain's defense mechanism. So that I don't fall apart, my passion has been snuffed out for a few more weeks. hahahaa

Example #4 - Grooming. This girl has not given herself a facial, had her eye brows waxed, etc. Got to get on that this weekend!

I have got to pull together those loose ends. This week, I posted on Facebook that I did not see how women who work full time in a demanding (professional) career, and had to come home and be mommy could handle it all. If I had kids mixed in the equation - their little faces would be dirty and their clothes on backwards.

Congrats to those of you who can do it all. I guess that's why there are sooo many of you stay-at-home moms. It's just too damn much.

Okay. Today I am working from home. I have some important scientific research releases to go through (for Scientific Sessions  - the world's largest gathering of cardiologists release their latest findings.) I have to go through this book, decide what I think would resonate with our communities and then pitch it to the media. Fun.. fun.. fun. ;-)

Have an excellent day. I am going to make a list of topics I hope to tackle, and God willing - the inspiration will come. Have a great day!

I feel like I just went to a really GREAT party!

Networking in the blog-o-sphere is very tricky. Finding good, solid followers that actually engage with you is also very difficult. Finding a blog to follow is even harder.

I was lucky enough to make some good "blog friends" early on, and after a little tour of their piece of internet real estate, I discovered networks to join.

These networks like: Lady Blogger's Society, SITS, Mama's Nestwork, BlogHer and SheWrites are excellent ways to break into the whole "network" of fellow writers. It is truly a very strong community. It is a completely different subculture.

These little network groups provide opportunities from time to time to openly meet other writers and even publicly discuss the content of the blog. It is a good day when people choose to review your posts, and in turn, you get a few new readers. However, more often than not, I think many people with really good blogs get looked over.

You guys know I have been vehemently against Blog Hops since my FIRST one. I followed a "Friday Flip Off" blog hop, and was a little confused on how they work. So I linked up, then was getting ready to write a post and was immediately called out by one of the participants for not doing it right. That rubbed me the wrong way.

Later I joined another one, I liked the theme - it was about "Living Green." I linked up, then headed back to my blog to figure out what to write about. No sooner do I figure it out, I noticed I had a new comment. The organizer of that Blog Hop basically said she would pull my entry because I did not have a "Green" post. Seriously people? This is a networking opportunity.

Long story short - my favorite networking opportunity was the Lady Blogger Tea Party. For whatever reason, there is only one or so a month now, and that happens to be one of the ones that is a WONDERFUL strong resource for excellent networking, however - you really have to work at it to meet new people and find excellent blogs to follow. You see, I don't do it so much for the "followers" as I like to find amazing things to read!!

Yesterday, I bit the bullet and joined up with another Blog Hop. I was really wanting to find some new blogs to follow. I love to start my morning off with a cup of coffee and reading what others write.

I was leery, but I did it. To my regulars - folks, I feel like I attended a progressive dinner party, and several of the guests stopped by Destination: Unknown for a quick cup of coffee. Excellent! The "guests" did not just post - "I am following you, follow me back." It was more like actual answers, and when I checked out their blogs - there was good stuff.

In my little "circle of regulars" we are a fairly tight knit group and our circle has enclosed with each other supporting the other. My friends, I am proud to say - I made 8 new connections yesterday and I welcome each of you with open arms!

No, I have never claimed to be the best writer. Sorry, I am not a mommy blog. No, I don't have all the answers for weight loss, budget tips, nor do I claim to be an expert in blogging (so don't expect any professional tips or meme ideas.) But I do like to express myself, share my life and just have a good time with this.

With that - I welcome all of you, and feel like I just left a really GREAT party! Cheesy, right? ;-)

WOW Leanne! You deserve it!

Today I think the blog that is rockin' it out is.. well.. Little Miss "From Chaos Comes Happiness."

I know it seems Leanne and I have a blog love fest going - but you know, writers tend to adore one another's work. I adore her AND her sister (The Adventures of CT & Me) and some of her other blog friends. (For a list of links - click on my blog roll above or click on any of the comments in previous posts - these are my peeps!) With that, I like to celebrate their successes!

BUT tonight I want you to check out something else - I say all of this about  her because she was featured - AGAIN! This is at least the second time I have seen her get featured on blog networks. BTW that's huge! I want you to visit Mama's Little Nestwork. Another favorite blogger of mine (You can click on  her page from my blog roll too (Mama's Little Chick.) All delightful and I hope you follow them both and join the Nestwork. (No - you don't have to be a mommy to join. She took me in!) But there are some really lovely people and blogs.

Enjoy!

I knew I had style.. ;-)

I RECEIVED THE STYLISH BLOGGER AWARD!

Sweeeet! Many thanks to my dear, bloggy friend, Mama Hen! PLEASE check out her blog - she has to be one of the nicest people alive, and her little "chick" is cute as a button.

  As you know, with all blog awards you have to do something. I have to tell five things about myself and pass it on to my five "most stylish" blog friends.

1. I am currently taking ballroom dancing.
2. I am married to an egyptian.
3. I like to put vinegar on my mac & cheese.
4. I gag at the sight of mayo.
5. I know numerous phrases in seven languages.

NOW - for my five MOST stylish blog friends:

1. Cassandra with her fabulous Cassagram! Each week she has a celebrity crush, and from what I can tell - she has excellent taste - STYLISH!
2. Leanne at From Chaos Comes Happiness!   
She has a way of explaining every day life in a witty and sometimes touching way. Also - she totally created her header and other stuff - SUPER creative - STYLISH     
3. Abby's Blog - Abby Sunderland is a 16 year old who tried to circumnavigate the world solo. Recently she was stranded at sea (after 1/2 a year sailing ALONE) - she was rescued in the middle of the Indian Ocean. She faced death defying feats - and is still standing tall and is proud to say she tried - STYLISH.
4. Foxy Pink Cheetah - with a name like that - how could you NOT want to read more. She is the epitome of STYLISH.
5. Finally - I have to pick, Diane - from Diane's Words - between her job, her ability to adapt to third world countries, then live to write about it all - amazing - and super STYLISH.


There you have it - some STYLISH ladies just waiting for you to follow!