I know what is going on with me, it is clear as the tip of my nose. I am getting temperamental because of the egyptian leaving.
How do you military wives or wives of trade show salesmen deal with this? I never saw myself as the "needy" type, but damn.. when it comes to the egyptian, I guess I am.
Is it because of how our relationship began? All long distance, making the heart grow fonder (and slightly delirious.) Or is it the fact that I am incredibly in love with this guy (regardless of his jerkiness from time to time?) Heaven only knows.
I noticed that I did NOT want to write yesterday. Nor did I want to go to my Body Jam class. I canceled the latter, and felt incredibly guilty about it. I did not turn on my cell phone, and I hardly said a word to the egyptian last night. He made one smart ass comment and I decided to ignore him the rest of the night. (Mature of me, right?) Just a moody little biotch, and there was nothing I could do about it.
I even skipped dinner.
Yep, a bit on the mentally - NOT PREPARED - side of his journey home. I don't know why. Well.. actually, if I sit here and really think about it (which of course, you can't see me.. but I did pause for like a minute or two.) Here's the thing, our correspondence with each other will be completely different now.
We decided no phone calls. From his cell it will cost $2.49 a minute. Not worth it. He will have the computer with the webcam. I do not. We will only have email. Also, he will be busy with family and friends - so I will come as a quick - "Hey, I'm fine.. see you in a few weeks. Love ya." message. I know him.
Part of the "female" in me is also wanting him to try to make each day "special" before he leaves. He thinks I am completely off my rocker for this one. I made some sappy comment like, "Oh this is our last Monday together until December." He just rolled his eyes. Last night, we were watching "Dances with the Stars" (something we ALWAYS do) and I said, "Oh no, you won't get to see the rest of the weeks. This is your last one." He replied, "I am so tired of you saying things like that." and I replied, "I think you are just tired of me."
Then I went to bed.
See the problem? Me - too needy. He - ready to go home and see his friends and family.
*sigh*
BUT - I am awake, I made a good breakfast, a cup of coffee and I am writing. Pull myself up and dust myself off. That's what Imagonnado.
This too shall pass. Blah Blah Blah...
10 comments:
I'm glad to hear things are going better ... you didn't seem quite yourself in the last post. Damn that "being needy" business, huh???
Now who doesn't love your honesty! It is funny how we want to memorialize certain moments while so many guys could care less. Glad to hear your spirits have lifted and your feeling up to the new day. Thanks for stopping by this am, so sorry to hear about you having cancer years ago!
I wish I could come and see you while he is away ... we'd shop, we'd have coffee, we'd laugh ... heck, I'd even go to one of those darn dancin' classes with you (that would be a HOOT!!!) Honey, you must embrace this time for YOU and focus on the good, ok? Not the bad. No worries. I know it's easier said than done, but when PG is gone, I try to really take it just one day at a time and focus on positive energy. I know you got it in you...
BTW - when does he leave? I know I could probably go back and read in past posts for the date, but I'm a little lazy this morn'.
Thinking of you.
Oh Nicole when our hubby goes away it could really get us in a funky mood. A good nights sleep also helps. Make sure to fill your days with things that you enjoy. Meet some friends for a cup of coffee and buy some things that you would like to treat yourself with. You also have your bloggy friends. Have a great day!
Mama Hen
I'd be the same way. That has to be so hard for you.
This is another example of how men are just different from women. He loves you. Men just show it different. I think that the worst of the neediness is in the beginning and at the end (when you know he is days away from coming home). The middle will actually be the easiest. So, hang in there. ((Hugs))
Sweet Nicole...I feel for you hun. These are going to be tough times, but you can do it! I agree with Leanne, take it one day at a time. That's all you can do really...take this opportunity to focus on the things that you otherwise don't while he is away. Before you know it, he will be back home with you and you will wonder why you ever thought it would be so difficult! Hugs....
I agree with everyone above. Taking things one day at a time is really the best way to deal with this kind of separation. But in the meantime, think of all the fun you can have! You can go to the movies with girlfriends, or out for drinks, or catch up on movies you've been meaning to see (that maybe your SO might not be interested in). I know it's difficult, but enjoy this "ME" time... and focus on how happy you will be to see each other when he returns :)
As a soon to be military wife, active duty member and previous military wife, we deal with it almost exactly the same. David and I already know we'll have awful fights two weeks before he leaves. I already take each day as a gift with him, and I still have two months left with him.
The difference between some civilians and most military wives is we know how to deal with it. We grin and bear it, keep busy and try really really hard not to think about it. It's absolutely painful to know if your loved one will die. At least you have the benefit of knowing he'll be safe and not protecting himself by killing others, which mine will be doing.
You'll be fine. You may even like the freedom. It'll undoubtedly give you new perspective on your relationship. Look at it as an adventure, not as a burden and you'll be just fine :)
You're not too needy, I think you just need him to express that he'll miss you as much as you'll miss him. But with the way he is, I know he's not really that kind of guy.
Nothing to be done about it I guess.
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