How often do we give someone else control over our thoughts and feelings?
As a child, our well being and happiness depended greatly on our parents. As a teenager, we got our validation from our peers. As an adult, more often than not, we get our validation from our significant other.
I was thinking about how we give so much of ourselves to others, because it feels good and we are social creatures. But how do we know if the person we give our love/heart/ whatever you want to call it, is capable of handling our "well being." What if they are careless with our feelings and in turn, it completely affects you as a person?
I got this visual of a puppet master. Isn't it amazing how a few little words, or a smile, or someone lending a simple hand - how it all can change our moods from blah to wow in a heart beat?
Life is complicated enough without us seeking our happiness in the actions or words of others.
6 comments:
Nicole you are so right about how much we put of ourselves in other people's hands. It can be the greatest thing or very painful. I think it is part of our lesson in life to finally realize that we need to create our own happiness and that we are responsible for our hearts. Have a great Halloween. And Yes, Little Chick has had a tough few months. She is still very tired from the mono and just picked up another cold becaue it is hard for her to fight things off. The doctor said she probably won't be herself again until December or January. Yikes! Have a great day!
Mama Hen
Without doing so, our life would be meaningless. :) Nicole, that's how we connect and roll.
Yes you are correct indeed. We are emotional creatures, and being so, we look to others to find our happiness, validation, or whatever else it is we are searching for. However, the biggest hurdle to cross is in accepting that our own opinion is all that we really need. We can recreate ourselves over and over again, if we are just brave enough to look in the mirror and get what we need from within ourselves.
I feel this so, as I often find I rely on my children's joy to give me joy. Let me re-phase that (because I'm really not as desperate as that sounds.) But I do find that a big hug from them can repair any rotten mood I'm in. In turn, what is that old saying, "If Mom's not happy, ain't no body happy."
Very interesting stuff here. . . very interesting.
but unfortunately, we can't really fight something that is so instinctual. As "pack" creatures, we need interactions and approval from others to feel worth. Some people are more sensitive to it (like me) but regardless, everyone is searching for SOMEONE'S approval.
This is why I try to be happy with myself, but I guess that's easy to do when you're single.
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