Thank you, Old Nicole

One of the coolest things happened yesterday as I drove home. I had the windows down, the sun roof open, the music blaring, my shades on and my hair blowing in the breeze. The trees covering the road would sometimes allow for a cool breeze to come through and give me the chills, and just as quickly as the breeze would brush through, a stream of sunshine sent rays of warmth across my skin. I was alive. I was mindful. I was happy.

I felt such a huge rush of joy and gratefulness. All I could think about is what a truly remarkable opportunity God has given me. My life is by no means boring, and a lot of that is because I am constantly seeking new opportunities to be inspired. It's my passion.

I am so happy that life has dealt me the blows it has, and the triumphs as well. I am proud of my accomplishments, and no matter what anyone says, or how someone says it - I know what I went through to make the few excellent things happen. I know. God knows. That should be enough.

I felt such a sense of potential balance yesterday. I felt toxin free. It was a glorious drive, a rare moment when I am not just teeming with anxiety. Whether it is rational or irrational, my body produces so much adrenaline all the time that it is next to impossible to just relax. But I did, and I did it well.

I saw the quote above this morning- "Do something your future self will thank you for later," and it reminded me of all of the properly calculated chances I have taken in life. Even the crazy ones. I chose to expose myself, to try something new, to taste something different, to challenge my thought process - and I am better for it today. I am not perfect, I am still only human, but I have an open mind (though, I have to remind myself to keep it open,) and I have an open heart - something I never thought was possible.

I find it ironic that as soon as I find a little peace in my life, the negative nellys start knocking at my door. I am working hard to keep the Eeyore's in my life at bay. I keep saying over and over - 'You can't control what they do. You can only control your reaction.' I have to let that part of my personality go. It does no good.

What are you thankful for these days? That little something you did in the past, that has made all the difference now.