While visiting with my family in Georgia last week, my mom and I were talking about the age of children, from people my age. One of my closest friends has a 14 year old and she is 37. Then I looked at mom and said - WOW - you were 37 when I was 14.
How did that happen? I remember my mom when I was 14, and I have to tell you - she seemed "older" than me now. When did this whole adult thing happen?
Is it because I don't actually own my own home? I rent an apartment. Is it because I never had kids? WHY do I feel so much younger than 37? My next birthday is in 5 months. How in the hell did I get to my late 30's and yet feel like I am at least 10 years younger?
I don't mean physically. TRUST ME - I feel every bit the 37 years I have been alive. All types of changes are taking place, and from listening to some older friends - it only gets worse. I am waaay more tired. Things are not quite are perky as they used to be, and hair seems to be a new type of nuisance. A few times I have experienced this extreme wave of heat in my face and somewhere in my mid-30s I ended up with a little acne. Yes - it is official - I am in puberty for middle age. LOL
I thought for sure I would FEEL more mature at some point. But other than just not feeling insecure, I feel the exact same. I don't worry so much about the way I look. Don't get me wrong - I do my make up, and I try to pick out cute things to wear, but I don't WORRY about what YOU think. I do it because I like it.
I still like to have fun, I still like to laugh, I still think really silly things. I can still be petty and talk about you. So when .. oh when.. will I become a mature adult?
I am taking care of myself. I have battled some sickness. I have traveled across the world alone. I've done all of that! I have meetings with CEOs, I accomplished the items I wanted to accomplish professionally... what.. what.. what is next?
Perhaps my spirit is young. Maybe that's it. I am still silly, I am still loud, I am still opinionated and I just don't take myself too seriously...
Right now, I just want to run through my office with a sheet tied around my neck, holding a yard stick in my hand screaming - "GOONIES NEVER SAY DIE!!"
5 comments:
Oh my goodness girl! I loved this post!!! I'm with you though, when I think about how I will be 50 on my next birthday (yeah I said 50) and I think about how I don't feel like I always thought 50 would feel; I wonder the same thing. How come I don't feel old? LOVE THIS POST!!!
I sadly think I have always been a grown up. I look at my daughters and two out of three are very much like that as well...but on some level I always feel like I am still 20...but then I look in the mirror and I see how harsh I now look, even with coloring my hair again recently. I see all the lines, the ones I did not want to earn mixed in with the ones I do not mind...I see my Dad's face staring back at me...yeah, NOT my Mom's and I wonder when did that happen. My body feels 90 most days due to health issues....I am only 43....I do not want to go back, but I certainly would like to slow things down!
Life slips up on you doesn't it? I know the feeling. I'm older than you and feel this feeling every day.
Love love love the Goonies. I bought a copy recently for all my Grandchidren to have.
Carol-the gardener
I see the neck getting a little soft, see the creases around my eyes, delude myself that the wrinkles are "smile lines" ... but age is a-creepin' up on me as I creep up to 50 (in 2 years). And yet, I wear lots of pink, I love sparkles and glitter and fluffy things ... I don't feel as old as some stupid calendar says I am. I'm a giddy, effusive and enthusiastic GIRL; "woman" just makes me sound decrepit!
If you are 37, then I would be 37, too... and I'm obviously not 37, so quit talking like that, crazy woman!
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