Butterflies in my Belly

Last week I set up an appointment to finally return to the d-o-c. Not just ANY d-o-c the ob/gyn variety.

I have used the some ob/gyn for almost 20 years. However, it gets harder and harder to get my dates lined up to return home. So I finally broke down and got a doc in Birmingham.

*sigh*

I DREAD the ob/gyn. No - it's not for the actual procedure, as uncomfortable as it is, the exam is over before you know it. What I am always worried about are the results.

It has been two years since I went.

I know.

But I NEVER have good luck there. *butterflies did a loop de loop*

Back when I was 27, I got that call. You know the one.. something did not come back right. That spiraled into a 7 year bullshit/anxiety ridden/jumping through hoops/cutting out of organs fiasco.

My last exam was good.

But it's been 2 years.

I am afraid. The ovaries are the next frontier. I have them. They are all that's left. However, so many of my family members have died from ovarian cancer.

My cervix was all that was ever effected. I was lucky.

One of my closest friends lost her sister to cervical cancer in her early 20s.

Again.. I was lucky.

I have 5 minutes until I hit the road.

Dear God.. it's amazing how something so small as driving to a building, taking a test, and getting a call can change your life.

I know I am over reacting.

But it happened soooooooooooooooo many times.

Who am I to think I can slide through okay every time?