Relinquishing Control

Laura Rowe Photography

"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself, and apply myself to them, if they will not apply themselves to me. ~Michel de Montaigne, Essays, 1588"

It is not an easy thing to realize that you are not the one in control. Back in Birmingham, I had control of my finances, my household, my work, my activities - everything. Now, it's a different story.

I am in someone else's home, eating food I did not decide upon, going places I may not care to go, and figuring in the needs of 4 other people. It's different.

Last night I stayed up fairly late. I felt good, I had finally gone to Zumba, and my body felt so much better. My lower back muscles were telling me to stop while I was exercising, but I pushed through it. Today I woke up, my joints are oiled and my muscles are relaxed, without the use of a muscle relaxer. (I suffer from chronic tension - for sure!)

I made a list of things I need to do this week, and it began to fill up. Simple things, like - mail my Netflix DVDs, send some immigration stuff to the egyptian, pay my car payment. But these little things gave me a sense of purpose. By having this little task, it reminded me that I do exist, and things are happening around me.

I made a point to pick one activity I could do with my niece. I am taking her to Zumbatronic. It's Zumba for kids and it is held at a local gym tomorrow night. In turn, I am sharing my love of an activity, with a kid that we are trying to introduce more physical activity to.

I even made an appointment to visit my old work place, the Girl Scout Office. I used to be the Communications Director for this division. (27 counties.) I am meeting with a friend of mine there to see if I can volunteer. Good news is, she says she wants to hire me (cash payment) to assist at a weekend event. All I have to do is handle face painting for 150 Daisy Girl Scouts. hahahaha. I'll take it.

You never know.. doors may reopen.

The fair has come to this little town, and I will be joining my family there on Thursday. I have not been to a fair in over 6 years. I know one came to Birmingham, but most people I knew never went. It will be fun to see Autumn ride the carnival rides and to indulge in some of the treats - candied apples, cotton candy, elephant ears - etc.

So. Here I am. Settling in to my new role. I also want to share with you guys that I made a list of a few books I want to purchase or check out from the library. Now, if you know of an actual title I should look for, please share in the comment section. One - something on freelance writing. Is there a professional magazine? Etc. I thought I might resubscribe to Writer's Digest. Then, I would like a book on how to start a consulting business, as well as starting a small business. More and more people are asking for my advice on promotion. I suppose I should get paid for it, right? ;-)

Simple items, but important items all the same.

I am putting it out there. I am smiling.

PS - I had my first awkward moment last night. The Zumba instructor approached me and told me I looked familiar. Turns out we worked together about 19 years ago at a local Girl Scout Camp. She asked what I was doing now, and I said - "I just moved here a week ago from Birmingham" Then I shrugged my shoulders and smiled. Hmmm.... how do you explain it all. I do have cards now with my contact info and blog address. I think I should just smile, hand people the card and say, "You can read all about it here." hahahahaa.