It is 1:48am. I am sitting on my couch, wrapped in a super soft blanket, leaning against my two favorite pillows and trying not to blow away from my fan set on cycle 3.Nothing good could come out of this blog post.
I am feeling needy. I am feeling emotional. I am feeling lost.
I hate when I feel that way. So instead of tossing and turning and making the sleeping dragon (aka the egyptian) irritated, I decided to move to the couch tonight. I can toss and turn, and sigh and moan as much as I want.
I don't know how much I will share - but there is just so much going on these days that I cannot keep my mind calm. Not just with me, but everyone around me. I am sooo very tired. I just need a little mini-break. My dear english friend, Julie is a therapist and as we were splashing around in the pool today she told me - "Nicole, you just need a proper holiday."
She is so right on.
I need a proper holiday. Vacation for my more ameri-centric friends. I need to get the h-e-l-l out of here. I want to hear the ocean waves. I want to put my feet in sand. I want one really awesome book. I want a cool breeze.
Not only do I need this scenario - I need to turn my mind off also. That's the problem - it won't turn off.
I had the most horrific dream last night. YUCK. I can't seem to shake it off. I dreamed Yass and I were in Egypt. He was taking me around to a side of town (in Alexandria) that I never saw. He were in some random building, and apparently there was construction work going on - but it looked like the laborers were being used as slaves. Yass tells me to duck down, I do, then we try to sneak by the "warden" type worker. He sees us, and says "Come back here" = apparently in arabic - but somehow I understood.
We make it to another room - and I noticed we are at the top of the entire super-tall building. There is a narrow corridor with a spiraling staircase. The stairs are very short stairs and their material seemed to be made of what a lot of the walls were made of in Egypt. (Not sure what it was - but thick and had a slick paint.) He then proceeds to tell met to go down the stairs as fast as I can - and he will meet me at the bottom. Of course, I trust him..and I sit on my bottom and slide down these stairs. It turns into a slide of sorts - going around and around in a circle. I pass a few windows as I whisk downward - but I am going so fast and spiraling on. I keep looking back, wondering where he is. Then I finally hit the bottom. It reminds me of a spiral water slide. I look up - waaaay up and there is a "vent" type shaft - he opens it and says - "Good. You can stay there." Laughs - and leaves. There are no doors. Just a tiny room. The stairs are thousands at least - with no where to rest and narrow. I have only one choice to sit, alone, and well - in my mind - die.
I wake up after that. Disturbed. WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT DREAM REPRESENT???
I guess I should attempt some form of sleep now. It is 2:03.. and I might be able to get at least a good 4.5 hours sleep. Maybe.. if I am lucky.
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