Remember September?

Oh bloody hell.
August is ending.

The doom & gloom started last night when my tooth cracked. Yep. Just three weeks after my dental insurance ended. (Thank you powers that be.)

Of course I rushed right out and bought one of those emergency tooth kits. No, a $1400 crown is not possible at this time, so it is cement city for me..... at least until I get dental insurance and a full time job, or a really wealthy husband.. lol..

I guess we can add losing my mind to the list.

Yes, my dear friends, September is the unluckiest month of all for me. Typically really bad things happen to me, and Lord knows, I pray that I come out fairly unscathed. But who am I kidding?

**just hit the search button above with the word September or bad luck and read all of the stories from the past few years.

Oh Bloody Hell (aka Name Change)

Ugh.

Today did NOT start out overly fantastic. Let's just say that relationships are tricky, especially the old ones. I got a call early this morning from my ex-husband, the egyptian. In the past few months, we have been getting along splendidly, however, we apparently have run into a speed bump - the new wife.

As it is, my ex is still close to my niece and to my family. We all went to lunch a couple of weeks ago, and he, my niece, and I took a pic together. No. Big. Deal.

Apparently it was a big deal to his new wife. So much so that he was asked to call me to take it down off FB.

Good times.

AND... if you know my red-blooded American temper, I proceeded to lose my shit. I think there is no other way to put it. I basically lost my temper. THIS coming from the same woman who was having a relationship with my husband before we divorced... but that is neither here nor there.

I digress.

Anyway... it was the catalyst to finally get me to go change my last name legally. Yes - I have been Abdou since 2009, and it was finally time to brave Superior Court, brave the DMV, and the bank, and a host of other places I have to get in touch with to change my name.

But here's the catch - it sort of got to me. As I was pulling out of the parking lot of the DMV, I looked at my new ID. There I am - smiling... with my original, God given birth name. It has been a while since I have seen that. I was married before the egyptian... so this is not my first rodeo. But it is the first time I have seen it since I was very young.

And so it goes... I am back to who I really am. Or who I should have been... or whatever.

Funny how the day turned out... funny how life changing those little acts were. Little did the girl at the DMV, or the clerk at the court house, or the banker at Wells Fargo- realize how difficult a day this was for me.. or how liberating it was.

To all of you who have gone through divorce, just know - you are not alone. I get it. Many don't. But I get it.

Finding Life's Rhythm

"Shared joy is a double joy; shared sorrow is half a sorrow." ~Swedish Proverb

Each morning I am given another chance to do something spectacular. Granted, I fall short of full-on sparkle madness, but I do try to sprinkle a little happiness wherever I go.

Sometimes it works, and sometimes.. well.. I disappoint myself. The important thing is to always get up and try again. It's like I have to find my own life rhythm. 

When I have some downtime, I try to go back and reread some of my old blog posts. I've been writing fairly regularly since August of 2009. My life looks completely different from 2009, and I don't know if it makes me sad or hopeful. I was in a good paying job, married to the absolute love of my life, traveling, in a bigger city - honestly, living a fairly charmed life. Now, I find myself back in my hometown, freelancing, and very much alone. My traveling has come to a halt, my friendships look completely different, and I can't seem to get that "love connection" with anyone. I gave it a shot, you know? I tried dating.. I honestly put myself back out there, but I guess I fell short somewhere along the way.

Even though so many of those factors are not the most positive, I do have shreds of joy from time to time. Again - this is sort of the rhythm of my life. I am finding incredible satisfaction in what I am doing for work. I'm writing again, and I'm taking photos. It feels great. This whole week was just me sitting with people who serve our community and live incredibly interesting lives. My job? Tell their story. Done and done. 

I even went on a date this week. Nice guy, good dinner, great conversation. Heck, it even lasted almost 4 hours. My roomie and I spent another night hanging out with two of our guy friends and having a super fun wine tasting, so it is not like I am curled up in a ball somewhere pining for the one that got away. Speaking of that one - I had lunch with him on Sunday. lol

What I am trying to get at is this - This life... my life - your life, your friend's life - we are all just doing the best we can. One door closes, another opens. I truly believe in my heart of hearts that all of this is just a part of my journey, my story (if you will.) It is managing those good times and bad with a sense of purpose and patience. 

One thing I have learned since I started capturing my life in this blog is how to maintain that balance and handle the changes of life. I believe the most important things to remember is that changes are inevitable. Life is constantly throwing us little surprises, and it's up to us to weather the storm.

Another thing I want to share is that sometimes, these changes can be quite enjoyable! I would be lying if I did not say that there is a bit of excitement around the newness of relationships/dating. It is a lot of fun wondering whether or not there will be any connection. I have just one more excuse to go shopping and who doesn't like the spark from a new crush? When it comes to work, it is incredibly exciting to tackle a new story and see what comes out of my research!

Then there are the unexpected changes: Job situation adjustments, relationships ending, illness, and so many other things could be considered "unexpected." I have become the queens of resilience and here is what I can tell you - Breathe. Trust in God. This too shall pass. 

Sure, there will be challenges, but most of us do not realize how we are perfectly capable of rising to the occasion. These are challenges to which you can either rise or fall. Your attitude toward this new situation is of paramount importance. If you approach it with fear, you will jump at every sound and soon become a nervous wreck. However, if you look forward to it as an adventure, and you tackle everything that comes your way with a sense of discovery, you are certain to win in the end, even if you do make some mistakes in the beginning. As long as you are willing to learn, you cannot go very far wrong. 

At the end of the day, I find it important to see all of these life transitions as just another chapter in your already spectacular life. 

With that being said - Share in the comment section on how you balance life's little rhythms. :-)
 

 

Things I've Learned This Week

Things I Have Learned This Week:

1. Time Management is CRITICAL when you work for yourself. I found myself sort of feeling like I was supposed to be doing something, yet somehow I got everything accomplished. 

2. Yacht Rock is my latest obsession. I blame #BraggJam. Though I have always loved 10CC, The Commodores, Ambrosia, Christopher Cross,Hall & Oates,  etc... I am back on this soft rock kick from hell. Can't. Get. Enough. In particular... THIS song. I probably played it 1/2 a dozen times the other day as I was scooting across town to run errands.

 

3.  I have officially complicated my life... and I am WELL aware of it. Details will come.. and yes, it's in the "love interest" territory.. but .. c'est la vie. I'm having fun. ;-)

4. It's Clinique Bonus Time at Belk. Need I say more? The ugly phase is over. ;-)

5. I have a $183 grocery bill today. Why? It's a whole lot cheaper to purchase food to prepare versus going out to eat. Now that I am working from home, it just makes more sense. I checked out my Wells Fargo budget breakdown.. and... um... er.. I was spending close between $600 - $800 a month in "entertainment." Which when I looked closely - was restaurants/etc.  Yeah.. that grocery bill makes sooo much more sense now.

6. Okay.. now.. I'm just going to say it. It's not cool, but I don't care. I have spent money on super expensive shampoo, I've bought the natural stuff, and I've bought the smell good stuff. I TRIED to make a switch to some other "highly promoted" expensive crap, and my hair has felt like straw. (Which contributed to my ugly phase post.) I finally just picked up my old fave... Pantene Volume and it was like a miracle had occurred. I'm going on the record and saying this is the only shampoo that works for me. There, damn it. I'm done with trying other things. My old standby is perfect. No more ugly duck phases.

7. I have so much more "me" time and I feel complete joy. Did you hear me? JOY. 

8. I thought I would give a shout out to some of my friends in Macon. It was such a delight to pick up this month's Macon Magazine and see 4 of my friends right there listed as part of the 5 under 40. I don't think they could  have picked four more incredibly wonderful people. What do we all have in common? We're all Leadership Macon graduates! Dominique Johnson (is a minister, as well as one of the advisers to my Leadership Macon class,)  Chris Tsavatewa (is a professor at Middle Georgia State College & serves as the head of the community board I serve on for Star Choices, and I consider a newer friend (his wife is awesome too!,)) Jonathon Dye (is a very dear friend and the Communications Director at Macon Arts Alliance and now someone I work with doing the Art Matters Journalism bit,) and of course, Stacey Harwell (she is Jonathon's fiance and a minister at Centenary & a dear friend.) These four are soooo dedicated to our community and I am genuinely thrilled they were selected.

Dominique Johnson, Steward Vernon, Chris Tsavatewa, Jonathon Dye, Stacey Harwell

9. Is it just me.. or are you over summer? I figured out this week that I have a threshold for handling humidity and I have officially reached it. Bring on pumpkin spice, bring on the bold/Autumn colors, and bring on the cool evenings. DYING here, people.

10. Finally... I'm okay. Really! Maybe doing better than I have in a very long time. 

With that.. let me show you a little of what I have been up to:

Lynn, Scott, & Bill (& me.. though I'm taking the photo) at the Cox Capital Theater watching the Grammy Winning - Blind Boys of Alabama at Bragg Jam.

My friend and curator of the museum, Jeff, celebrating his 50th bday!

Need I say more?

Chilling with my mom at her Gallery

Hanging out at Macon Arts Alliance's opening for "Figures" with Glennean (artist,) Steven (dir of Main Street Macon,) Molly (PR guru,) Jonathon (mentioned him earlier,) and Melissa (dir of The 567 for Renewal (a gallery))

Friend & Coworker, Tonya, at Jeff's Bday party

Me about to facilitate the Board Retreat for Middle Georgia Art Association

The insanely talented artist, Eric O'Dell, with one of his paintings. Click on his name to learn more about his wildly successful career. :-)

Lynn with Dewayne Kendrick (artist,) Deonna (arts advocate,) and Franodo (great friend.)

Josephine (Station manager of GPB Macon - Georgia Public Broadcasting) and me at Bragg Jam.

Scott and I hanging out in downtown Macon

I went to see The Wedding Singer at Macon Little Theater. My friend Georgia portrayed Linda, and her husband, Brian, was Robby Hart! They did an incredible job!

That little nugget made a cheesy chicken casserole with me.

Two newer characters in my life. Two great friends- Brent Milner who owns the Milner Group of Georgia (Allstate agency) and Derek Huff - handles financial securities/etc with Allstate. I am doing some PR for them, and of course, we are actually all good friends.) Lynn and I hang out with them from time to time. :-)

Me - having lunch at Harpin's in Macon.

That crazy little "power couple" - Stacey & Jonathon with me - at Bragg Jam. #dyewell Yes.. they have their own hashtag. lol

Eleta & Alex Morrison at the Macon Arts Alliance exhibit opening reception. Alex is the King of downtown - as in the head of the Urban Development Authority. Super nice couple.

The fabulous Carey Pickard and Chris Howard. Chris & I were in Leadership Macon together. He is also my main contact at Cox Communications for promotions. :-)

The group I lead at the Board Retreat. Helping artists & arts organizations become the best they can be!

One of my dearest friends, JJ Hobbs. Click on that link and get blown away by incredibly cool she is. She and I were at The Wedding Singer together.

Molly & I at The Hummingbird during Bragg Jam. Check out her blog please - Make It Work Molly

Lynn & Eric (minister at Centenary) at Bragg Jam

Lynn, Craig Hamilton, and I at The Hummingbird at Bragg Jam. Craig is another PHENOMENAL and widely successful artist. Just how successful? Well.. he is the one who worked for DC Comics and created Aqua Man. Seriously. Just google him. You'll be blown away. ;-)

Deonna, me, & Jonathon at an exhibit opening at Macon Arts Alliance

Dean Brown (the wildly talented lead singer for Dean Brown & the Dub Shak,) and Lynn

Stopped by the say hi to Jason Frost - just one of the most talented artist/graphic artist around. He just will NOT smile for a pic. lol Check out his stuff HERE.

Stephanie & I at Bragg Jam

Molly & Scott

Just hanging out at a party with Representative James Beverly. ;-)

Hanging out with Paul Harpin (owner of Harpin's) and Molly

Enjoying art with my friends Melissa & Molly

The graphic artist, Jason Frost, with incredibly talented digital artist, Craig Coleman. Craig was showing one of his unique pieces.

Molly & Katie at the Tubman

Travis at Jeff's bday

Molly at Jeff's bday

As you can see - I have not been writing as much, but I have been out living, grabbing inspiration, and loving life.

Hope you are having a wonderful weekend!!

Ugly Phases

I feel like I am going through a good, old-fashioned ugly phase. You know what I am talking about.... right?

I cleanse/exfoliate/moisturize/groom.
I try to get enough sleep.
I try to drink tons of water.
I try to stay out of the sun.
I condition/color/style my hair.

I do everything that is required to take care of my face.

Except.. I'm just not loving what I see.

Every pic I see of myself I absolutely hate. Even the ones that I know in my heart are good ones. I'm hating my hair. Hating my eyebrows. Hating my makeup. Hating my complexion.

I'm not sure what is really going on here, but I know it isn't pretty. (Pun intended.)

Ever feel this way?

Like you are going through an adult version of an ugly phase?

I look back at photos from when I was 10, 11, 12.. and let's just be honest, I was not a cute kid. My face looks long and freckly, my eyelashes have always been really light, and my hair was long and stringy.

The way I felt back then is how I am feeling now.

Of course, I logically know I am not going through this phase. But what I need to understand is why am I feeling this way? Is it hormonal? Is it psychological/stress? Is it because I don't have validatio from a job? Is it the fact that I have to depend on myself to give me compliments... no significant other to remind me I am beautiful to them?

That last statement sort of made me choke back a tear for a moment.

Don't worry... by gones..

But what is it?

Do I just need to build my own self-esteem?

This is all foreign to me.. sooo... what do I need to do to "re-encourage myself?"


And there you have it...

Haven't I said it a million times - it's about self awareness.

*smh*

Maybe I just need a weekend at the spa and a good love interest. ;-)

Riding The Waves... Sorting The Boxes

Those rascally transitions. You are up one minute, riding the wave, and down the next, rolling with the punches.

I've taken a short sabbatical from my blog to sort the boxes- it's what I call "processing the information."

God has both given me a tremendous gift and is testing my faith all at the same time.

On one hand, I have landed a hand full of projects that will in essence (all together,) pay me more than I was bringing home full time. However, on the other hand, none of these are permanent. With that - I have to make some tough choices and TRUST that this will all work out in the end. 

**insert panic here... panic from the planner.**

Yes, I am a chronic planner. It is not in my character to say, "We'll see what happens." Okay, well.. maybe I say it from time to time, but I rarely mean it. I'm like that duck analogy - You'll see me gliding along the ponds, water just rolling off my back, but what is really going on is I am kicking up a storm underneath putting things in motion. 

But for once, I'm just gliding... trying something new - Trusting that I will make the right decision when the time comes. I don't have to solve anything right now. But at the same time....

Oh it's all just very scary. No real safety net except for my faith. No where to run if it all falls apart. It's just me, my prayers to God, and my ability to get stuff done.

I'm really excited about some of the pending projects I have going on. I'm back in the whole journalism field. (Who would have seen THAT one coming?) That's right, I was hired by a local arts alliance to become the lead embedded arts journalist in our community. That's pretty exciting - combining two things I love (Writing & the Arts.) I have also been asked to write for 3 more companies, as well as handle all of the media relations from my former job, AND be the publicist for a contemporary Christian author. 

Wow. Wow. Wow. 

Basically...  it's official-  I'm back to being a paid writer. 

(Don't judge my professional life on what you see written here.) My blog is nothing more than a fun little brain dumping ground. A poor man's therapy, if you will. 

I write - then I hit send. Rarely do I ever proof read this crap. I'm just purging. 

You know, I've often said that I never should have left TV, but I had to - if for nothing else, for more money. I was good at it, and I can only imagine, if I had stayed with it, I would have been great. But I left, and started a completely different venture. I ran that course for a very long time, and some how, I have found myself right back where I started from. Single & Telling Stories... just like I did when I graduated from college.

Life really is a crazy adventure, isn't it?

 

Keep Swimming

I have spent a majority of my life trying to rise above the negativity that will inevitably try to sneak in. 

I know you can relate.

We all go through it.

Regardless of whether or not you and I agree on politics, or religion, or how we live our lives, the truth of the matter is - we all just want to be happy.

I had a decent enough weekend. Equal parts love and disappointment. Saturday I had to work, and I was lucky enough to have some super nice visitors that were wonderful to talk to. Then that night i enjoyed a little music festival that happens each summer in my hometown - Bragg Jam. Saw so many good friends, hugged my favorite people, and danced the night away to some great "Yacht Rock." 

I slept in this morning, and decided to reach out to a friend that is going through a whole lot. He's been up and down (well.. he IS bipolar,) and I wanted to make sure he got through the weekend okay. Needless to say he snapped at me and really bit my head off. Unfortunately, I reacted poorly. Sooooo poorly. I've been doing that a lot lately. Snapping at all of the people who like to try to push my buttons or even remotely put me down. I'm sort of at that point in my life where I just don't care what people think, and I only want to be left alone and just be happy.

We all get this way from time to time. 

When I was younger, I had the tongue of a viper - and it seems to be rearing its ugly head again. I need to check my attitude at the door, or should I? Maybe I'm just tired of putting up with crummy attitudes. 

Anyway... 

Then I had a fun little convo with my ex brother in law. Umm.. it went something like this:

Me: Sorry you are going through a hard time.
Him: It's okay. Now, why have you not found anyone yet?
Me: **being silly** Oh you know, men want someone who is tall, blond, thin, and dumb. I'm the exact opposite.
Him: Oh.. just go to the gym and you will be perfect.


-----------

Sooooo....

Um....

Well..


I'm tired. But I have to keep swimming. Some days we are the bird, and others we are the wormy. Today was a wormy kinda day. I'm hoping for a better tomorrow. 

Sleep Walking

I woke up sleepy. 
That is never a good sign for the day.

My wave of good luck sort of over slept too.

While stepping into my bedroom to pick something up, I accidentally left my last diet coke on the coffee table. For most people, this would be a very normal occurrence - in my home it is an opportunity for my big orange tabby, Salvatore, to play "King of the House," and he knocked the drink right off the table... onto the floor.. the beige carpeted floor... that was just professionally cleaned two weeks ago.

*smh*

Of course, none of this has to do with luck, but with the fact  that I was tired. I was simply not paying attention, and unfortunately something happened. 

That's how life goes for the most part. We find ourselves on autopilot, trying to get through the day. I have spent the past year like that - on autopilot. That's not a good feeling when I look back, but I think it was a necessary feeling.

It is fascinating to me look back at how I dealt with the blows of 2013. Divorce - Dating - Finances - Work - Sick Cats -  it was all a heavy load to carry. I fumbled through it, and from time to time, when I wasn't paying a whole of attention, a mini crisis would happen. I handled it, like I handle everything else. Every time I caught myself in the middle of the storm, I remember something one of my old managers, Erica, said to me many years ago, "Nicole, life is really simple. It's all just a series of fires that you will have to put out." When I decided to treat my life this way, it made it so much easier to roll with the punches. 

I've learned to forgive. I think that is one of the biggest lessons. Like this morning, my cat sat there, looking at me, and I am pretty sure he realized he messed up because he cowered down when I discovered the spilled coke. I yelled a little about the stain on the carpet... but then in less than 2 minutes I had calmed down, grabbed the stain remover, and I began cleaning up the mess. This is exactly what I have been doing with my life for the past few months - just cleaning up the mess that someone else left behind.

After I was able to see that not too much damage was done, I made a point go over to Salvatore and assure him that he was loved. He seriously looked sorry. Maybe I'm delusional... but the truth is, I needed to follow through on this act. 

Next major lesson I have learned is patience. I've learned to trust with my whole heart that everything is going to be okay.... and it is. I've learned to "Let go, and let God." There is power in that act.

Finally, I have learned follow my heart. TRULY ask for what I want out of life. An ex boyfriend of mine came over last night, he needed to talk. He is going through some things, and he and I spent about 5 months together at the end of 2013/early 2014. I listened, I gave advice, I commiserated... we talked about the past, and we laughed. It is good to be at a place of forgiveness, to exercise patience, and to still be able to show compassion. I told him plain and simple what I wanted out of life, and that having him as a friend was as far as we could ever take it. It felt good to say what I knew I needed to say, and not hold onto something that in the end is not good for me (just because it is there.) 

I have successfully freed myself from all things that were holding me down - some I did for myself, and some an outside force severed ties that needed to be severed. (I call that divine intervention.)

Life is as it should be. Simple fires that need to be extinguished. Right now, I have a space full of cinders and I'm ready to rebuild from the ground up. :-)

And Moving On...

It is time to make some incredible changes in my life! (Again.) 

I am actually thrilled to have this opportunity. 

Can you believe it? 

I don't know what has gotten into me, but I am in a good place mentally, and I want to ride this wave of possibility out. 

What's next for me?

Well.. that all depends on what the world has in store.

New work opportunities... new potential love interests... new friendships to form - so many fantastic things are in store, it feels like Christmas time!

I have always sort of seen transition a little like Christmas night. Each new piece of my future life is wrapped very neatly under the tree. As the months unroll, I will get to unwrap a new present, some of these may be exactly what I have always wanted, while other may take some adjustment to. 

The best news? I am a blank slate. I can't remember the last time I could truly say that. I am in a much better position to create the life I want to lead, than say back in 2011. I have two options to continue my education (still trying to decide.) I have the Peace Corps recruiter's phone number (been toying with that one!) and I have some contract work flowing in! Working for myself is incredibly liberating! 

Then when it comes to new people - I am going to be afforded the opportunity to meet so many new people this year! Just think, new friendships, new experiences, and new interests to share. PLUS - I'm not currently seeing anyone, so THAT is wide open too.

I like this... this little journey I am on. Who knows where it will end. Heck, who cares! I'm set up to succeed, now let's watch as God shows up and shows out! ;-)

Photo credit: ana-rosa.tumblr.com 

Don't Underestimate Me

Sun Tzu once said, "Be extremely subtle, even to the point of formlessness. Be extremely mysterious, even to the point of soundlessness. Thereby you can be the director of your opponent's fate." 

Sun Tzu was a military general, strategist and philosopher who lived in ancient China. Around these parts, we know him as the author of, "The Art of War," which was an extremely influential book about strategy. I read this book several years ago - and so many incredible nuggets of truth have stuck with me. These lessons have helped me rise above any adversity I might experience. 

In "The Art of War," Sun Tzu explains how to manage crisis, strategize conflict, and win battles. 

Some of the key points I took away are:

1. “All warfare is based on deception.”

You have to be aware of your capabilities and your surroundings. What I did was make a checklist of everything I was capable of, had experience with, and was known for. That is the first step.

Granted, sometimes you have to adjust your plans according to your resources. Location can play a big role in this decision making process, but once you do that, you should act quickly. There is a very short window of opportunity. 

With that being said, you have to outwit the competition. You can do this by subtlety staying the course and moving in one direction. 

For me, it might be a dollar amount, or skills I want to utilize. Once I hone in on what I want - then I plot the course. The funny part is, most people will expect you to crumble. However, a warrior's attitude does not allow that. Gracefully glide across the pond, but be kicking up a storm under the water. 

2. “Let your main object be victory, not lengthy drawn-out campaigns. "

The next step is all about decisive behavior, and time management. You have to focus on the end result and set a time line for yourself. (ex. - I will accomplish this goal by this date.)

It is important to keep your morale up. (Think "keeping the troops happy.") This is important in your personal relationships. Do not let the burden of what you are enduring seep into the lives of people you love and want to be around. Also, if someone is trying to help you, then you show appreciation and provide encouragement. 

Of course, Sun Tzu recommends shining the light on your competitor's weaknesses, however, I am not a fan of that tactic. However, there are ways you can do that without doing anything. If you know for a fact you are more qualified, then stand next to the other person. Give them a little rope.... it all works out in the end. 

After all, you are waging a war of sorts. 

3. “If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle”

I think this is the best advice for life in general. It is all about knowing yourself, knowing what you are capable of, and understanding the same of your opponent.  Don't use up all of your energy trying to go on the attack, but instead, yearn to excel and succeed at everything you do. Your work will speak volumes. Put a focus on your strengths, especially the ones your opponent does not have. ;-)

Take initiative. This is no time to hesitate. If you find some holes in your strategy, then take the time to fix what needs to be fixed, and move forward as quickly as possible. 

In the book, there is a basic formula for a "Strike." There is:
- The preemptive attack. 
- The divide and conquer
- Siege mentality 
- The retreat

Hopefully you will not be on the side of "retreat." With a proper plan, and the right qualifications, you can move forward. 

4. “One may KNOW how to conquer without being able to DO it”

Just because you have the books, have the paper, and can technically do what is required, does not mean you have the talent. Be efficient. Be honest with yourself. 

5. “The quality of decision is like the well-timed swoop of a falcon which enables it to strike and destroy its victim.”

Sun Tzu has two ways to outsmart and take down your opponent (the competition.) 
Tips on how to “win” the battle include:

- The Element of Surprise
- Deception: Masking your true strength when trying to outflank or outwit your  “opponent”
- Using Bait to outwit your opponents and draw their true intentions and positions.

- Not relying on any one person but instead focusing on the discipline and unity of your support system

6. “Do not repeat the tactics which have gained you one victory, but let your methods be regulated by the infinite variety of circumstances.”

Next you have got to learn how to spot your opponents weaknesses, and position yourself in the most advantageous way. 

Fairly simple process:
- Take initiative 
- Be aware of your opponents weaknesses, and make sure you are even better at them
- Be aware of the competitive advantage
- Be a moving target; Make sure your next move is hard to predict
- Remember: timing is everything

7.  “The difficulty of tactical maneuvering consists in turning the devious into the direct, and misfortune into gain.”

Keep your current relationships, support system, and other resources in good standing. Make sure you know the market, and understand what your odds are. Most important - DO NOT ENTER INTO AN ALLIANCE UNTIL YOU KNOW YOUR OPPONENTS MOTIVES. Hands down - the single MOST important piece of advice I could ever give you.

8. “In the midst of difficulties we are always ready to seize an advantage, we may extricate ourselves from misfortune.”

One writer on the subject states, "A great leader has the ability to  read the signs around him, track history and therefore be alert to deception or sudden changes by correctly extrapolating future behavior."

Sun Tzu gives an acute reading of human behavior here:

 “When envoys are sent with compliments in their mouths, it is a sign that the enemy wishes for a truce.”


The truth is, there are dozens and dozens of nuggets of truth for setting your goals and achieving them. I think the biggest mistake people make is that they underestimate their opponent. Not me.... I think anyone is capable of anything, and in hard times, it is every man for himself. 

If you get a moment, watch this fantastic video. You might walk away with a few golden nuggets to live by. 





Remember this can be applied to all areas of our lives.

I'll leave you with this last quote...

“If your enemy is secure at all points, be prepared for him. If he is in superior strength, evade him. If your opponent is temperamental, seek to irritate him. Pretend to be weak, that he may grow arrogant. If he is taking his ease, give him no rest. If his forces are united, separate them. If sovereign and subject are in accord, put division between them. Attack him where he is unprepared, appear where you are not expected .” 

― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

I wish each of you success in your future endeavors! :-)

Things I Have Learned This Week - Staycation Edition

Remember these? Yep - It is time to take a look back over my week. I used to post one of these each Saturday, and if I can remember to do it, I hope to try this again.

So... Here we go:

Things I Have Learned This Week

The Staycation Edition

1.  Staycation can be a trap. Work knows you are home. Friends and family know you are home, but they all also know you are on vacation. However, somehow the typical rules of vacation do not seem to exist to them. Calls and requests, people. Calls and requests. Just know - I'm not responding until Monday.

2. White girl by pool for one week = Freckles. Just lots and lots of freckles with a splash of pink.

3. I got a lot accomplished in my home. Things I simply did not have energy for any other time. That was worth 500 emails on Monday morning.

4. I don't know why I thought I would be able to sleep in. I have two cats. Cats = furry toddler-like behavior for the rest of your life. 

5.  When you are interested in someone... and they know you are on vacation.. and you are staying in town.. and they make no effort to see you - #DoNotPassGo 

6. Mopping with bleach water turned me into a screaming banshee. Cats + Bleach Water is like a moth to a flame. Stop! You're going to kill yourself! You are using up all of your nine lives!

7. I never once turned on the cable tv. Why? THERE IS NOTHING ON THE NETWORKS. Why am I paying $156 a month for this shit?

8. For the past couple of weeks, I have been watching LOST. I'm on the second season. This thing is like an onion that just won't peel!

9. At night, I am rewatching True Blood with my roomie. She is a True Blood virgin. I think I have officially gotten her into vampires. 

10. You will NOT believe what I am reading. It's terrible. Absolutely terrible writing, but because I bought/download all three books onto my Kindle about a year ago, I thought I should finally read it - The 50 Shades of Grey series. Total rubbish. Crap. But damnit, I'm going to read it and see what all of the fuss is about. S&M doesn't do it for me. Nor does this stupid chick in the book. *gag*

11. First World Problems - Keurig bit the dust - again. Thank God I had a back up espresso machine this morning.

12. I am a restless spirit. Period.

13. I reorganized my closet and realized that I have entirely too many clothes. Yes, it is possible. 

14. Also - staying home has afforded me the opportunity to plan out my life. I think I know what I need to do. Now, let's see how bad I want it. 

15. I am not sure how my roommate is able to live strictly off cereal. lol (I've never seen someone eat so much cereal.) I've also added this line to see if she even reads my posts. Ha!

16. Going down water slides repeatedly can cause your ass to ache for a week. 

17. I think I suffered from seasonal depression yesterday. Tis the season for fireworks and cookouts, and no one invited me to one. That in turn made me depressed. lol 

18. Naps are delicious. Yes, I only just learned this in my 40s.

19. I actually wore flip flops this week and I did not die. 

20. And finally, I made my peace with God. We had a long talk about how tough the past 5 years have been. I think we are back on better speaking terms. ;-)