Goodbye, my friend

I got the news tonight that you are gone.
I didn't  get to say goodbye.

You called me out of the blue a month or so ago, leaving me this cryptic message from your hospital bed. It was as if you were saying goodbye.

I had not heard your voice since high school. I wondered why me? Why did you feel like you needed to talk? Why such a heartfelt message 20 years later?

Then I called you back, and you explained. You've kept up with me all of these years.  Since 2008, we reconnected on FB and just a year later, I started this ridiculous blog.

I basically live my life for everyone to see, and you felt that connection. Which at the end of the day is what social media is.

I promised to meet you for lunch soon. You wanted to catch up in person... but I was always too busy. You told me... I was one of the first people who reached out to you in middle school. You said I was always nice to you when others were not, and you wanted me to know that you loved me for that.

My heart breaks tonight because.     I didn't hold up my end of the deal. You asked me to write a blog post about your needing a liver transplant.... and I kept putting  it off. Putting my needs before others. Something I'm terrible about doing.

Then all you wanted was one lunch.

Shit.
I couldn't even get that right.

Tonight you lost your battle with liver disease. (From Hep C.) I'm soooo sorry I didn't get to tell you how much your friendship meant to me.

You are a true inspiration. You bravely fought this terrible disease. I applaud you. I should have said more... and done so publicly. I'm sorry for that. It was all you asked of me.

May God bless you. May you fly with the angels and watch over all of us.

Goodbye, sweet friend.