Sometimes We Cave

Tea Weather by La-Chapeliere-Folle

I'm not always on my game. Still - after all of the good I have in my life now, and all of the toxic that was removed... I still get a little sad from time to time.

Like yesterday, I decided to brave the terrible heat and humidity and take two large bags of trash to the dumpster. Sounds simple enough? But the dumpster is a block away, and in Georgia heat, that makes a simple trip a hardcore adventure. After I dropped off the remnants of food gone by, I made my way over to the mailbox. Inside that little metal cylinder was one small envelope. It had the attorney's name on it. 

Inside was the official, final proof that it is all done. 

I glanced to the left -Plaintiff vs Me. Final Decree of Divorce.

I knew it was coming; I was actually looking forward to this day. Then as all avid readers and writers do, I read one sentenced that struck me as cruel It said: And it is considered, ordered and decreed by the Court that the marriage contract heretofore entered into between the parties in this case, from and after this date, be and is set aside and dissolved as full effectually as if NO SUCH CONTRACT HAD EVER BEEN MADE OR ENTERED INTO. 

Say what?

Like the past 7 or so years were just a figment of my imagination. As if the first three, those beautiful, deeply in love years were just a dream. That the past three or four years that were absolute hell never made any marks or scars. Just fuggetaboutit. 

Huh?

So I caved. Tears ran down my face. Those years of begging, pleading, coaxing- anything I could do to save our marriage was just a complete waste of time. Oh... and don't forget, it had never been made or entered into.

I simply poured a glass of wine, put on my soft pink pajamas and listened to some soft rock. I was good, up until the sad songs came on, so I decided to start organizing the closets I have yet to go into since we moved in. 

What did I find? Photos. Some of his clothes. Items from our wedding. I grabbed everything (except for the photos) and dumped them in the trash. (Which means I have to brave the heat AGAIN.)

I then proceeded to make some mashed potatoes... pour another glass of wine and watch the freaking Hallmark Channel. Cats at my feet. Wine in hand. Cheesy movie.... and I just let the tears flow.

I think I needed to cleanse. I think I needed to say goodbye once and for all.

Things are good right now, don't get confused. I just have to let go of something I held onto soooooo hard for soooooo long. 

Simply put... I caved.

Things I Have Learned This Week

**There is video attached. Make sure to click on the sound piece to hear it...**
1. Time alone is incredibly therapeutic.

2. Time with someone who treats you like your deserve to be treated is equally therapeutic.

3. Fundraisers can pull every last ounce of energy you had out!

4. Race seems to be a hot button topic again. Living in Paula Deen Country makes the spotlight a little warm these days.

5. I think southerners are under the spotlight even more so than others when they say something horrible. Especially when it comes to race.

6. The cats beg for food each morning. The time they attempt to wake me up gets earlier and earlier.

7. I think I am beginning to itch to make some educational changes. Hmmm.. now that I am completing my Rosetta Stone, I feel it may be time to learn something new.

8. I am sticking to my summer goal of taking off somewhere different for the weekend each month. This weekend coming up? St. Mary's!

9. It's important to know that you don't choose cats, they choose you. That's how I ended up with Salvatore. He is ever-so-slightly obsessed with me. Whatever room I am in, he has to be stationed so he can watch me the entire time. It's kind of sweet, and kind of creepy.
10. After having my niece spend a week with me, I learned why you people have children. You have a built in trash-taker-outer. Genius!

11. I'm thinking of having my teeth whitened... but I love coffee. How does that work?

12. Craving BBQ. I can tell it's summer.

13. I am thinking about writing a series on Fear. More on that later.

14. I'm having issues with scooping kitty litter. I think I might have found a solution. BUT... it will cost almost $400. Go to Http://nomorescooping.com

15. I switched to espresso this morning. I go back and forth. Giving my Keurig a break. (And my wallet. Though I love it - it's expensive. On a budget during vacation season.

16. Are you on Vine? Follow me! You can find me - Nicole Thurston.

17. One of my favorite places to relax is on my balcony with a glass of wine, all while the rain pours down!

18. I decided to lay out by the pool yesterday. Yes, I had my BIG floppy hat on, but my poor knees. BURN. I guess my sunscreen did not work so well on those babies. Here's the issue - I needed to get "some" sun before heading to the beach next weekend!

19. I really want to spend New Year's in Paris. Think it's possible?

20. Reading Mystic River. Loved the movie - hope the book is even better!

And it's over...

I got a text today from my ex. He said:

The divorce papers are signed by the judge. I got my copy today.

And with that, it was over.

I can now legally change my last name.

I am 100% divorced.

That guy who I gave everything to, practically lived for, is no longer a part of the equation.

It's a bitter sweet time. 

I have since "moved on." 

But I would be lying if I said it did not sting a little.

I thanked him for making this easy. (He never took one item from the home.) 

He thanked me for my friendship. (We are trying to be friendly.)

I wished him well, and told him I hoped now he would go out, meet a nice girl, and start a family. (He's only 32. He has his whole life ahead of him.)

Now.. I... at 40... will figure out how to date again (sort of in the process....) and how to be alone (again.) Again.. again.. again. 

C'est la vie.

Questioning Faith

“If you don't behave as you believe, you will end by believing as you behave.”
― Fulton J. Sheen

If this is the truth... then I am in trouble. 

You see, I love my religious denomination. I love the fact that the Catholic Church is the very church that Jesus built his idea of Christianity upon. He looked to his best friend, Peter, and said, "Hey man.. I want you to build my church." Peter was like, "Cool, dude. Consider it done."

And so it began.

But here's the problem - real life makes it NEXT TO IMPOSSIBLE to live up to the Church's idea of what it means to be in good standing with the "Church."

For one, I believe in birth control. I do. Even within a marriage, if you do not want children, I do not believe you should risk it and not use birth control. Add to that, I can't have kids.

Secondly, things happen. According to the Catholic Church, I am not in good standing for many reasons: I'm divorced. I do not go to mass each week. I don't go to confession (maybe 4 times in my WHOLE life.) 

Which leads to my issues: I want to go and participate fully in mass, but technically, I can't. I would be denied the Eucharist (what many of you might call "communion"),  all because I am divorced. That's right. I know I can go through an annulment, but do you know how difficult that would be? Not to mention, my husband was Muslim - he could care less about my religious beliefs. It also takes a really, really long time. 

I am missing something so incredibly important to me - and that's a religious social life. As a kid, I participated in Sunday School, Christmas plays, and Youth Group. As an adult, I was in the Ladies Axillary (of the Knights of Columbus,) member of a prayer group, and even a youth group leader. NOW... well.. now... I am lacking and the problem is - I can't get involved. Not at my home church. 

St. Joseph's is led by a very conservative Catholic priest by the name of Father MacDonald. He is by-the-book. Literally. In Birmingham, the two older Irish Catholic priests would serve communion to everyone, they did not care. Here, no way Jose. He will deny you. He will stop you from serving in any capacity. I'm stuck.

But I love the mass. I love the ceremony. I love the worshipping factor. When I rejoined the church, I had to send a picture. He knows who's who. (Even though there are over 5,000 people.) When you get involved, you have to say whether or not you are in good standing with the church- and know this the Church (Vatican) keeps amazing records. Everything from my Baptism to my confirmation to name changes... everything. 

Where does that leave me? Do I go to mass, to get my ceremony and fulfill my needs? Do I then get involved with another congregation and another (dare I say it - Protestant) church and participate in bible study and other activities I enjoy - but always remain a Catholic?

Decisions.. decisions.

Things I Have Learned This Week

1. Delaying gratification pays off - big time.

2. I am way more organized than what I give myself credit for.

3. I'm aging. Seriously. I saw another line. Traumatized for certain.

4. The cats are officially in my heart. Of course I thought they were cute before, now there is a clear bond between us.

5. I have some seriously terrific friends. Seriously terrific.

6. I think I need to feed my soul this week.


7. My garden is seriously flourishing. I think it is a wonderful sign. I believe it is just like me - growing and feeding those it comes in contact with.

8. I have found that morale may be down in a certain circle I spend a bit of time in. I am trying very hard to put up an imaginary protective bubble to protect myself from these outside forces that would like to bring me down with them.

9. I am seriously excited about my life. FINALLY.

10. I think that ALL of the crazy-terrible-life changing things I endured over the past decade has really set me up in a good way. I have seen people with (supposedly) better coping and spiritual skills than I, and I think I have weathered this storm really, REALLY well. This is not an act. When I am sad, I acknowledge it. When I am moving in a positive direction, I acknowledge it. The good news - I never got vengeful and I was able to forgive and move on. I. HAVE. PEACE.

11. I feel cared for. I feel secure. I feel healthy. I feel surprisingly energetic. Amazing what a few good nights of sleep will do for you.

12. I have let wine back into my life. (No, this is not what is making me happy. Only 1/2 a glass a night or two a week.)

13. My garden, my books, and a few good games of uno is all I need right now.

14. I'm in love with iced sweet tea. You know how I get on my random kicks?

15. Did I mention UNO? Apparently I am a champ online.

16. Did I mention I feel at Peace? Even though things are not perfect... I feel good.

17. FINALLY have the right combo of meds for the BP. Over 3 months now, and all is back to normal. AND.. I can tell.

18. Car is fixed.

19. House is organized.

20. All is well with my soul.

Things I Learned From My Father

One of my most popular weekly posts continues to be my "What I learned this week." 

I decided to take the format from those types a post and share "Things I Learned From My Father" in honor of Father's Day.

Here we go:

1. Listen. My father is typically very quiet. He's listening and he is processing. He is not a reactor, and that makes him very easy to relate to. 

2. Have a strong work ethic. I rarely remember my father ever calling in sick to work. He would get up around 3 or 4 am five to six days a week. He would return home around 6pm. He would go go go.. and not stop. Do what you have to do - that was his philosophy.

3. Travel when you can. One of my dad's passions was traveling as a young man. He was provided the opportunity by joining the Air Force. As a kid, he would make a point to make sure we visited interesting sites along our vacation route to the Midwest to see his family. He would pull out maps and cultural books and we would lay on the floor.. tracing our finger from Macon to some random city in some random country, then we would look up the information in the encyclopedia. 

4. Enjoy good food. If there is one thing my dad likes - that's to eat. Probably not a "good" thing, but he does appreciate good cuisine. In turn, going out to a restaurant can be a lot of fun with him.

5. He typically will say yes. (Unlike mom.) He listens, he processes and he will help me make something happen.

6. Stand by your partner. My parents have been married 41 years (this August.) They had some good times and some bad times. But they weathered the storm together. I like that and respect that.

7. Cultivate the earth. Perhaps I was destined to care about organic gardening. I grew up watching my father reading "Mother Earth" and gardening books. He had a small garden and would have happily lived off the land. My maternal grandfather was the same way. Again - cultivate.

8. Classic music in the am. There was only one day a week we would wake up with my dad. That was Sunday morning. I remember hearing the calming sound of the shower, then you would smell his cologne.. followed by the drifting aroma of coffee.. followed by classical music. He would wait calmly in the living room for the rest of us to get up and get dressed. 

9. Suffer your children to go to church. LOL - That was a sign outside of our Sunday school, and my dad took it seriously. I think out of my whole family, I would say my dad and I are more on the same wave length when it comes to religion. He still prayers before every meal, has read books on the saints, and seems more in tune with the sacraments.

10. Coffee is fuel. My dad drinks waaay more coffee than I ever could, but he always has a cup. He would start his day and life would run smoothly for him. Something he passed down.

11. Read Read Read. My dad can tear through a book in about 8 hours. Does not matter how big. He is a fast reader and a voracious reader. Always surrounded by books - also, NEVER lay your book down.. he will snatch it up and start reading your book!! 

12. Enjoy a good pipe. Okay, I'm not a supporter of cigarette smoking, but if I smell a good pipe or cigar, it brings back memories. He does enjoy a good pipe.

13.  Penmanship is a much. My dad has an impeccable handwriting - AND he is a calligrapher. I remember trying to write like him, which was next to impossible.

14. Enjoy the outdoors. My father finds peace sitting outside. I am the exact same way.

15. Finally - Practice good manners. My dad used to have impeccable manners. Granted, he's getting older and let's just say... he's loosening up. lol

Things I Have Learned This Week

1. Young cats - around 13 - 14 weeks, are absolutely INSANE.

2. Friends at work cannot truly be friends in real life. They just can't. When it comes down to dollars and cents, they will look out for themselves. However, once that work relationship has dissolved, then you can honestly be friends. REMEMBER this young people.

3. My new "friend" was SUPER sick this week. SUPER sick. I figure if I can handle being around him when he is waaaaay under the weather (pneumonia,) then we just might be okay.

4. Jealousy and Envy can wreak havoc at work.

5. Reporters and their Producers make me laugh with their ridiculous headlines. If I JUST read the headline and nothing else, I would totally misinterrpret the entire store.

6. Speaking of reporters - get BOTH sides of the story.

7. Finally - on that note, there is one "anchor" around here that absolutely makes me sick to look at. He has a face for radio. PLEASE Mr. News Director, get rid of him. YUCK.

8. I am actually looking forward to being alone this weekend and CLEANING.That usually means I am focused.

9. Finished book 11 in the Sookie Stackhouse series. I need a True Blood break for a bit. Now I am reading Mackenzie Phillips' autobiography. IT'S FASCINATING!

10. I went two weeks without any coffee. Well.. coffee I made at home. I was DRAGGING.

11. My niece is coming to stay with me for a week. She will attend our summer Heritage Camp at the museum. Many lessons will be learned. 1. I've never kept a kid with me that long. 2. She is in a predominately white school, and at camp she will be the only white kid- SHE will experience and learn things (culturally) that she might not otherwise experience.

12. Speaking of being the only white kid at camp.... I have to be perfectly honest with you. Sometimes it is REALLY hard being the only girl. I work with all African Americans and my boss is white. I love it. But there are times when you are seriously odd man out. Nothing terrible about it, but some differences become strikingly obvious from time to time. Not to mention, there are some things I simply cannot relate too. It's fascinating and educational, and sometimes really hard.

ESPECIALLY in the south.

13. I got to visit my old high school this week. My friend, Sharone Wright, former NBA star, throws a camp each year in our hometown. (We graduated together at Southwest.) The mayor proclaimed this week to be Sharone Wright week. I was there to see it. I am so proud of him. Truly.

14. I see a container of croissants staring at me. I think I am being beckoned. I need to hurry this up a bit.

15. I went to this pop up boutique last week and happened to pass by the Spa Medical booth. I was just curious what they had (like deals on facials or something.) Oh contraire, they had buy two syringes get one free. I was just glancing, and the lady asked did I need any help. I said no - and she kept looking at my forehead. THEN.. the doctor walked up and told me if I had any questions, he would love to answer them - the WHOLE time he was looking at my forehead. NOTE TO SELF - Get bangs cut. Clearly they were dissecting the lines in my forehead. Just saying no to Botox right now. I think my skin looks healthy for a 40 year old, damn it.

16. Speaking of aging - WHERE DID MY ENERGY GO?

17. Also - saw a NEW line. A small one near my mouth. I think they call it a laugh line. It's very subtle. So I decided to quit smiling. ;-)

18. I just noticed how scratched up my hands are, thank you ZEN KITTY.

19. Cats are like freaking toddlers.

20. Croissants.

Taking it in Stride

Today, or rather this week, could have  gone a little better, but at the end of the day.... it is what it is.

For one, I'm tired. I haven't gotten a whole lot of sleep, but that's really nothing new. Except for the tiny fact that I went coffee-less for the most part. No fault of my own, I can assure you. Unfortunately, my car has been stalling out, so I tend to keep my errands to a minimum and guess what I am out of? Yep.

K-cups.

Speaking of the car, I dropped it off at Volkswagen and as it turns out, the crank shaft sensor is out. That equates to almost $600 in repairs. 

(hmm.. wonder if I will be able to afford k-cups this week. Hell.. wonder if I will be able to afford food. Oh who cares - I'll have my car right?)

What good does a car do if you can't afford to go anywhere.

Classic Catch-22.

Speaking of a Catch-22 - ponder this for a second:
"The enemy is anybody who's going to get you killed, no matter which side he's on."  ~Joseph Heller, Catch-22

Which side he is on... which side IS he on? Which SIDE is he on?

Does it really matter? If you are going to cut me off at the knees, we've got problems. Remember, that. 

I used to be very vengeful - always striking and getting my revenge. I would call that my "Nicki" days - teens and 20's - highly competitive, sharp tongue, and out for myself. Since then, I have grown up.. well.. okay.. a little, and I try very hard to not react. 

Let's just say... the devil has a hold of me this week, and it is taking every ounce of self control not to lash out. 

Well.. okay.. I lashed a little, in a very passive aggressive manner. No, I'm not proud, but... hmmm..

Game on? ;-)

Okay, I'm being cryptic.

I'll stop.

Also.. just know media wise, it's been a VERY busy week. 

Busy. Busy. Busy.

What I want to know is - how is your week shaping up? Anything great happening? 
As for me.. I will attempt to take it all in stride.... and that's a game we will all win! So this time, I say GAME ON without any malicious intent. ;-)

Kicking Ass and Taking Names

Know thy self. 
I'm not sure who first coined the phrase, but it is the single most important phrase eva.

Like EVA.

I say this because when my eyes popped open this morning, I realized I have figured a few things out for myself:

1. The fog of the past has cleared. 
2. I feel like my "old self" - circa 1997
3. I can finance myself.
4. I have work experience.
5. I don't have much of a "need" for anything major right now.
6. I know what I believe. I know who my friends are. I know where I stand politically. 
7. No time for B.S.

You know what I mean? 

This past week has been super relaxing. Granted, it's only Tuesday, but I feel really good. I think by taking the time to heal some old wounds, get some closure, and just move on has been the single most therapeutic thing I could possibly do for myself. I know many of you have been championing me on.. and I thank you.

Things are going so smoothly that after a single act of terrible betrayal by a so called friend, I was able to just breathe, listen to a little feel good music, and move the eff on. Yep. No time for false friends. No time for BS games. I have my sweet circle and I am good.

Speaking of that circle, I want to thank those fantastic people that I love so dearly (my extended sistersbyanothermama family) for all they have done for me. It warms my heart to look back at how long I have known so many of you - 28 years or more! You guys helped me get through this ridiculous time. I'm at 8 weeks out from the divorce. Can you believe it? Two months and I feel really good. 

Speaking of that, I am thoroughly enjoying spending time with my new guy friend. (No labels yet.) He is adorable, sweet, and incredibly attentive. Exactly. What. I. Need. Right. Now. We both are super independent and have our own lives, but we are making time to just enjoy our friendship and whatever else. It's good. 

Finally, that brings me to the kicking ass and taking names part. I have systematically removed all of the toxins from my life. I am not allowing anymore in. No more control. No more false friendships. No more pretentious behavior for immature upwardly mobile types... I'm just chilling out and enjoying myself. I am finally at that point in my life where I simply feel like being self-involved. Not in a vanity sort of way, but in a nourishing way.

Where are you at in your life? What transitional life experiences put you there?

Prancercise Baby...

LOVE it.

Art - Music - Food - It was an Amazing Weekend in Macon

This weekend was full of really good stuff. I mean, REALLY good stuff. I know sometimes I get on this "whoa is me" kick, and I suppose that's just how I am and who I am. I want things a certain way, and I work really so hard to make things a certain way - that when they don't go my way, I pout and moan and complain. I'm a curmudgeon- We are our own worst enemies.

Remember all of the good stuff I shared with you in Friday's post? All of the good stuff I planned to do? Well, I did most of it, and I think it all went very well.

Friday I was super busy and super excited to do the whole "First Friday" in downtown Macon. If you are not from here, and most of you who read this are not, our little community pulls its resources together the first Friday of each month and offers special little incentives to shop and play downtown. Typically, I head to the art galleries, etc. I am not so much into the bar scene, and only sometimes do I even feel like eating dinner out at night. Lunch is my restaurant time of day.

I started the evening out at the Macon Arts Alliance's Gallery opening reception. Here is a pic of some people I was hanging out with - from left to right: Jeff Bruce, the Tubman Museum's Curator is in the back; Shandelia Shepard (our new Programs Manager;) Stacey's roommate (and a Health Educator.. I totally forgot her name.. just met her that night;) Stacey Harwell (a minister at Centenary Methodist Church;) and Heatherly Wakefield (the Director of Fine Arts at Macon Arts Alliance.) The show at this gallery was mainly based on print making. Great stuff. You can sort of sneak a peek behind everyone in that photo.

Here's a photo of Lauren Benedict (City Council woman, lawyer, and board member of MAA) and Jonathon Dye (the Communications Director of MAA.) They were working the bar that night.

Here is a photo of two spectacular friends - JJ Hobbs (local Opera Singer) and her partner, Cindy Hill (Arts Marketing Director for Mercer University and the Grand Opera House.) Cindy and I have known each other since we were kids. We used to do theater together.

After we left MAA, we headed outside to a pop-up boutique on 1st Street. I ran into Valerie Bradley (Communications Manager at the CVB) and Stephanie Robinson (former Marketing Director for the CVB.) We caught up for a few minutes, both of our groups were doing the same stuff, just going in a different order. lol You can see a little of downtown behind us.

Next, we popped into an empty space on 1st Street that was turned into a Pop-Up Boutique. It's basically a trend in using empty space and showcasing small businesses. This space was phenomenal.. and there were tons of small shops set up selling great items. Alex Morrison, the Executive Director of the Urban Dev. Authority (seen on the far right near the window,) Mechel McKinley (Main Street Macon) and my friend Molly Wilkins worked really hard on this. Check out the awesome blog of Molly's and more details on her idea and the event. I only took photos with my phone, her stuff is waaay better and you can see the goodies - HERE.

After that I headed on over to my mom's Gallery on Ingleside to see a truly inspiring art show - one that took cancer survivor's art work and put it on display. The stories and art were phenomenal, the crowd was spectacular, and the food.. OMG. Fountain of Juice catered (this organic food shop) and all I have to say is that the candied bacon is TOO. DIE. FOR.

After that final stop, I met up with my niece and she and I enjoyed an evening at my place. It's been a while since we got to hang out together and it was awesome. She is growing up soooo quick.

The next day she and I met with my family and Yasser for lunch. He wanted to catch up and see how we were all doing. It was actually nice, and I can 100% say we are simply friends now. We all sat for almost 2 hours, talking, eating and catching up.

After lunch, I headed back and got ready for date night. My new friend came over and we went to a phenomenal party at my friend's Tim & Leila's home. Sophia Bastian (from NYC) came and performed as part of new thing Macon hopes to do - a Music Ambassador program. (Check out the story on the link)

Here is a photo in Tim and Leila's Sun room. I knew probably 1/2 of the people there (about 70 or so) and it was GREAT seeing all of these wonderful people enjoying some time together.

If we are friends on FB, you can hear the video I recorded while there. Her voice is heavenly. Just go on YOUTUBE or see my previous post to hear "Gloryboxed." Oh my word.

The food and art they had on display was second to none.

After that, my friend and I went to Polly's for actual dinner.

Tex-Mex at it's finest. Under all of that cheese is a beef enchilada.

After a great dinner and a few laughs, we headed back to my house for a movie.Finally saw Identity Thief. It was really cute.

Needless to say, I've been an absolute bum today with small moments of cleaning. I'll do one task and rest for an hour.. then another task.. rest for another hour. lol

I hope each of you had a great weekend! I suppose I can sum up this busy weekend in one word - CULTURE. What did you do?

Just added a pop of red...

Positive and highly caffeinated attitude? Check.

Kick Ass red lip stick?
Check.

A night of art, friends, and good times?
Check, check.

It's First Friday in downtown Macon, which means those of us in the arts marketing world will be gallivanting all over creation. There are so many incredible gallery openings tonight, as well as good music lined up, I can hardly decide what to do!

The good news is, I've settled on a few places I simply HAVE to support. I plan to pop by the Macon Arts Alliance, where Heatherly and Jonathon (two of my favorite arts people) will be hosting "First Editions Printmaker." I'm excited about this exhibit because I honestly do not "get" how one makes "prints." I realize that's a very elementary statement, but it's true. I look at these cool pics and I often wonder, "Okay... how does this happen? What type of equipment do you use?" etc... I know at least two of the artists featured: Craig Burkhalter and Jason Frost. 

Following that exhibit, I'm heading over to a Pop-Up Boutique, something really cool my friends Mechel and Molly have pulled together. Pop-up art shows and boutiques and random acts of culture are all the rage in the downtown trend across the nation. I'm looking forward to seeing the pretty items there just sparkling and waiting for me to pounce on.

After that, I hope to make it over to my friend Melissa's opening at The 567 for Renewal. Her group is having "Behind the Minds" art exhibit from art faculty from around middle Georgia universities. 

Finally, I'm going to head over to my mom's gallery (MGAA) for their exhibit reception called, "Celebration of Life." It's a really cool collaboration between the Middle Georgia Art Association and The Medical Center of Central Georgia. My plan is to pick up my niece from there and take her home with me. (Maybe sneak in a little pool time if there is any!)

Tomorrow should be interesting. I was invited to a party at my friend's Tim & Leila's home. They have invited this INCREDIBLE singer to perform from NYC, Sophia Bastion. She is an up-and-coming New York-based artist, the next big thing in neosoul. As an unsigned artist, she's already opened for The Roots, been on VH-1 and in Vibe, and has been added to the rotation at mtvU and BBC Radio (championed by Gilles Peterson). Bastian has a sultry, soulful voice, jazz training with blues and hip hop influences, and a great visual style. She's being courted by some of the biggest names in pop music.

This party should be great, because 1. You have this incredible singer that I can say, "Hey... I knew her when.." 2. The Moonhanger Group is catering it (Dovetail and the Rookery,) 3. AND Jason Frost plans to showcase some of his work at their house. Most of the people on the invite (and it is a small, but delightful guest list,) are people in the arts/marketing world around here. I simply cannot wait! 
Here is a sample of her singing:


Best part? I'm going to take my new "friend" with me. :-) 

Needless to say, the weekend is CHOCK FULL of good stuff. I hope to relax a little on Sunday. 

My question to you is  - what do YOU plan to do this weekend? 
If you are local... check out some of what is going on downtown. You won't be disappointed. I have gotten to know most of these people who put this stuff together, and let me tell you - these are some seriously talented folks! Take advantage of what Macon does best - The Arts.

Happy Is As Happy Does

I have to admit, everything has been fairly copacetic lately.
Sure, I am having some issues with my car - it happens. It's a machine, and machines get tired. I am still able to get from point a to point b, but the stalling can be a bit of an inconvenience.

Yes, some extra bills are piling up, but nothing I can't handle. Luckily, a raise will kick in this month and that should smooth things out a bit. It's only math.

Sure, I am dealing with a name change. I have a pending trip to the DMV, the SS office, and the bank. It's never easy changing your name. Trust me. And it costs...

Of course, the cats are a hand full. The little one has decided to use the leather dining room chairs as his personal gymnasium. Tiny little snags are breaking my heart a little more each day, but when I wake up and find him nuzzling me and purring in the morning - it makes it all worth while.

I also have a new friend in my life that is making my evenings a little more fun. He's a really sweet guy, a good man, and he is giving me the attention I deserve. Right place, right time. No - I am not labeling anything. No - I will not over share. I am just enjoying myself, having dinner, traveling.. just two adults having a good time. It's healthy. It's normal.

Who knew... all I needed was normal?

Life is far from perfect, but I am ... well... I am happy. Just happy.

You never realize how unhealthy your life was, until you remove the problems. My coping skills are back to normal, my ability to handle things is back to normal... and I am not constantly second guessing myself anymore. I am just being me. Silly, complicated, moody, goofy, inquisitive - me. I am surrounding myself with people who get me. I like how that feels.

This past weekend was a wonderful example. I tried new things (gambling and moonshine tasting,) I over indulged in good food, and I stopped long enough to breathe. Something I had denied myself for so long, or felt guilty for.

I have not been writing as much lately because I am just sort of on this new journey... and I am processing.
I am happy to report that Yasser and I are friends. That's right - we are friends. We communicate in a healthy way. I wish him the absolute best. I honestly do.

I'm laughing again. I feel a little better about myself... but it still takes time. All of these things take time - and that is what I am doing differently now, I am slowing down. Slowing my thought process, slowing down my decision making, just trying to be smart, cautious.. but enjoy myself along the way.

How are you doing these days?

Things I Learned This Week... (a few days later)

I had so many fantastic lessons this week that it took me the full weekend to experience them all.
Let's begin, shall we?

I am phenomenal at Alpine Mini Golf. WINNING! The trick? Just go with the flow... along with a little mountain air in the North East, Georgia mountains.... Helen, Georgia.

 

 

 

When you need a quick getaway.. just say, "Beam me up Scotty," and all will be okay. I was beamed into a great Rib Buffet... not sure that will be the case for you.

 

How do you scare or surprise Jason from Friday the 13th? The paparazzi. ;-)

 

When deciding how to dispose of the body...

 

When you are a little terrified of the heights you find yourself in.. simply  hang out at the butt of 

King Kong. Works every time.

 

Sometimes the fresh mountain air (Pigeon Forge, TN) in the Great Smokey Mountains will lower your blood pressure. (View from the room.)

 

One can survive on a moonshine tasting. OMG. Gatlinburg, TN.

 

Sunset riding into Cherokee, NC. Was a wonderful way to soak up some of God's wonderful creation,

 

Long winding roads through the Smokey Mountains can be a LITTLE intense.... The breeze was chilly... the sun was shining.... too good to be true!

 

Anytime you enter a National Forest, be prepared to lose service. If you happen to be staying in a National Forest.. be prepared to be out of contact for a whole weekend.

 

Sometimes... a good medium steak with a baked potato is the only meal you need...

 

It never hurts to give it a try. Always looking for my pot of gold. Cherokee, NC

 

Go big or go home. 

 

Sometimes a short hike is good for the soul.. and calves.. (ouch.)

 

Angelina is waaay taller than me. 

 

Vin Diesel does not respond to begging.

 

My favorite number, 5, can win you $175.

 

I always KNEW Jeannie would be soooo much fun inside that bottle. 

 

A hall of mirrors is my own type of hell on earth.

Finally.. the goodness that God is bringing into my life is healthy, full of joy, and I am on a fantastic new adventure. Life IS good... and all is good with my soul, thou has taught me to say.