Yesterday, I spent almost 8 hours in the car with a co-worker of mine. Luckily, we are both talkers and comfortable with tackling all of the deep subjects that sometime cross my mind. It was nice to talk to someone who is intelligent and insightful.
We covered topics from Human Trafficking to Pedophiles to Female Genital Mutilation. We discussed Alabama Politics, Immigration Reform.. and finally - me.
Yesterday was tough. I woke up at 3:45am, drove to Mobile and drove back. If you are not familiar with Alabama geography - that is 4 hours there, and 4 hours back. I was struggling, and many of you know what it feels like when you are exhausted - headache, dehydration, dark circles, a little dizziness.. just a general feeling of discontent.
One of our first meetings was a tough one. We were meeting a very important person and needed to ask for very important things. Our expectations were high, but the reality was a different beast all together.
Or was it just my perception?
My com padre saw all of the positives. I was able to pull apart the negatives. Piece by piece.. over analyzing if you will.
At the end of it all - I simply boiled it down to - annoyance.
She asked - Why?
I listed several examples.. then she asked - Why do you let that bother you?
Good question.
Why do I let anything bother me? Why do other's actions/reactions get under my skin so deep? Why do I let people/places/things burrow in my psyche?
How do you set "mental" boundaries. Especially when you aren't expecting such a strong reaction?
I have often stated that I felt some people just have good chemistry, while others do not. I did NOT have good chemistry with this person. I am typically really good at "winning" people over - if I choose to do so.
She stated - "Maybe you are not used to not having people like you instantly."
Bingo.
But I also pride myself in truly not caring. But why do I care sometime?
I think it is because I walked in with high hopes of a glorious relationship. I walked away with the feeling of being patronized.
Welcome to the world of women in the workplace with powerful men. Add to it that they probably see me as a little girl.
Not an easy apple to chew.
Breathe. Regroup. Learn to set up mental boundaries.
What lessons have you learned this week?
1 comment:
This is similar to a conversation I had with one of my best friends the other day. She is more of the "realist" and I'm more of the "hopist". A perky server makes my day, while it grates on her nerves because she sees it as so disingenuine.
I think this post may describe her a bit. She doesn't trust that people might actually like her or be sincere. It's so funny to me, because I think she's amazing, funny to the core, super charming, blah, blah, blah. I have a feeling that's how people see you too. You are the only one who doesn't. ;-)
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