Photo Journey of the Unemployed

I am sooo busy. Seriously. Doing absolutely NOTHING! Well - not "nothing" - but close to it.
Want to see?

I finally have time to look for the most unique ear rings to buy. PLUS - I can actually get away with wearing these now. It's not like I am in any stuffy meetings anymore.

I even have time to pick out a super cool new wireless mouse.

When people call and ask if I am busy - according to THIS calendar - I am WIDE OPEN!

I even had time to pick out this wonderful new piece from the Michael Kors selection. I am soo looking forward to wearing this soon!

I even have time to peruse my favorite catalogs.... wishing.. hoping...

I spent a little time with the BEST - Emily and Lao

I can even spend a good 30 minutes just painting my nails some fun little color.

I am pampering my sweet peppers that are growing in my sunroom...

As well as my Habenaros.

Then there are the afternoon naps HERE!

    And the time I spend each day FINALLY studying Arabic..

I get to tend to my Petunias...

And watch whatever movie I want!

And bake more....

And get a little more spiritual...

And organize more....

I went from my little mood calendar saying this.... to....

THIS!

I have time to visit with friends...

And even do a little mall walking with others...

Unemployment is not THAT bad. Well.. until the money runs out. ;-)

To Cone or Not to Cone?

To Cone or not to Cone? That is the question for the day.

I am a big believer in holistic medicine, as well as alternative ways to be healthier. Though many vitamins sort of freak me out, the other treatments such as - Acupuncture, Massage, Aromatherapy, etc intrigue me.

About 10 years ago, I heard about coning for the first time. I remember stopping by a new spa in my hometown, and checking out their menu of options. One of the treatments, for about $60, was to have what they called "Egyptian Candle Treatment." This was waaaaaay before I had even ever met an Egyptian.

I read about how there was some wax and candles and burning involved. That you might hears some crackling and feel warmth in your ear. To be honest - it freaked me out. BUT - what I would give for one good cleaning?? Priceless.

Today, as I was busy doing what all SAHWs do (watching daytime TV) - I saw an episode on "Keeping Up With The Kardashians" about Ear Coning. They treat Bruce to one treatment. Once the procedure was finished - there was tons of "ear wax" exposed. Of course, once I saw this- I thought - HECK YEAH. I'm doing it.

Of course, being the type of person I am, I began researching Ear Coning more in depth. What I wanted to know was - what actually HAPPENS in a session. I found a great video on You Tube. Check it out:



Okay. Simple enough, and he said he felt great!

Here is a diagram of what's going on:

I wanted to know a little more about the history of coning, and how this came to be. According to Lifehealer.org - the practice is thousands of years old. Back in the day, people use cone shaped items made from pottery. The original style of coning (from the Egyptians) used hollowed reeds.

Also according to Life Healer's Journey to Wellness.. what is happening is the spiral of the cone causes the smoke to be pulled down in to the ear canal. This causes the ear canal to warm up and loosen the wax and any other material. As it heats it up, the candle causes a suction by creating a vacuum in the ear canal. Air is drawn up from the Eustachian tube into the middle ear then through the porous membrane out into the outer ear. The heat and the vacuum draw out the wax and other materials from the ear canal into the base of the candle. As it burns down you will hear a lot of cracking and hissing which is the process of removing the wax etc. The warmth feels soothing and relaxing during the process. Ear Oil placed in the ear after candling with cotton to cover will protect from further infections from bacteria, yeast's etc.

The healing properties of the Ear Candle has its foundation in two primary physical actions. Firstly, the slight under pressure (the chimney effect) inside the Ear Candle and the vibration of the rising air column serve to gently massage the ear drum and promote secretion in the frontal and paranasal sinuses. This has an immediate subjective effect of regulating and balancing ear pressure. Users often describe a soothing, light sensation in the ear and head area. Secondly, the locally applied warmth stimulates vascularization, invigorates the immune system and reinforces the flow of lymph. At the same time, important acupuncture points and reflex zones are stimulated.

The results - THIS:

That's fairly disgusting. BUT - if it is for real, how wonderful!

Then I looked for the naysayers... I found one You Tude video that did a little experiment to see if this is for real!

However, fairly new evidence from the FDA might change our minds. According to Jim Edwards on CBS's Business Network, he reports that the FDA officially came out against Ear Coning.  The FDA said, " FDA has received reports of burns, perforated eardrums and blockage of the ear canal which required outpatient surgery from the use of ear candles."

Ouch. That's harsh.

According to the Mayo Clinic, coning can cause serious injury. Their rresearch shows that ear candling is ineffective at removing earwax. In fact, the technique can actually push earwax deeper into the ear canal. Ear candling can also lead to:

• Deposits of candle wax in the ear canal
• Burns to the face, hair, ear canal, eardrum and middle ear
• Perforation of the eardrum or other ear injuries

I trust the Mayo Clinic. I will tell you why, they actually support Integrative Medicine. However, they are saying - NO to Ear Coning.

My question is this - WHY DO SOME SWEAR BY IT? I believe, if you can hear better - there has to be something to it.

Regardless, I guess it is best to err on the safe side. I suppose I will bypass this form of alternative treatment. If you have experienced this, or have thought about it - share your thoughts in the comment section.

Redefining Yourself

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was. I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory. I was naïve. I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer. It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: that I am nobody but myself." ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

I know it's all I have talked about lately, but I simply cannot believe how "good" I feel ~ now that I am free to choose a new life. So much so, that I am not allowing any "crap" into my life. I cannot even begin to tell you how many times I have laid it on the line with the egyptian, or been a little more careful about who's calls I return, or even who I allow into my home.

These past 2 1/2 weeks have afforded me an opportunity to just BE.

Yesterday, I treated myself to a few things. Since 1/2 of my severance came in, I went ahead and paid all of my bills. Even double paid a couple - just to allow myself some cushion.

After all of the business of "life" was done, I headed over to my favorite Chinese Holistic Medicine place and had a massage. I was complaining about the tension in my actual shoulders (joints) - and the therapist did a wonderful job loosening the tension.  They also did a lymphatic drainage, which release so many toxins. Hopefully I have done a good job flushing. Afterwards, I finally went for a hair trim, followed by color. (Iced Dark Chocolate ~ Whatever that means.)

Since I spend most of my days alone, I decided to treat myself to a coffee and book. I drove over to Barnes and Noble and got a "treat" - a White Chocolate Mocha.. sinful for sure. Then I just wandered the aisles letting books "speak to me".. when I picked two. The complete poems of Emily Dickinson and the Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu. I don't think I could have picked two more perfect books to read at this point in my life. *sigh* It was nice to be able to do something for myself.

I find myself at home this morning, just sitting - watching Project Runway Style-a-thon, and just being. Being alone with my thoughts.. with me.

I'm going to be okay!

The egyptian spends most of his evening with his friends (Ramadan - breaking the fast with them.) For the most part, that means less arguments. But recently, he has been wired so tightly.. maybe it's best.

I am trying to decide how to schedule my days, I still find myself a little willy-nilly - floating about. Here are a few items I need to schedule:

1. Learning arabic (30 minutes a day)
2. Exercise (1 hr a day)
3. Cleaning (30 minutes a day)
4. Reading for pleasure
5. Blogging (1 hr a day)

Not sure when and how to do these items. Maybe knock them out in the morning? Or scatter throughout the day?

I am simply not sure. The point is - I am trying to redefine how I tackle life. I want to be more organized. I want to be more focused. I want to be useful and full (spiritually.)

I found a great article on Selfgrowth.com  Some of the pointers they give in organizing your life and "redefining" who you are:

- Be aware of what you eat, and what you use - both on yourself, and in your environment. Choose natural, organic products.

- Live a life of kindness, compassion, and charity - it keeps you connected to your center, your source, that infinite reservoir within you that is your powerhouse.

- Don't judge people, or situations - approach each moment with the knowledge that it contains within it the potential of any number of possibilities.

- To connect with your real nature that is unbounded and invincible, practise yoga and meditation.

How do you redefine yourself? How do you schedule your activities?

Emily, Sylvia and Flannery are my people.

"I dwell in possibility…"
— Emily Dickinson

"Where you come from is gone, where you thought you were going to never was there, and where you are is no good unless you can get away from it"
— Flannery O'Connor

"I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in life. And I am horribly limited."
— Sylvia Plath

I have lived my entire life selecting my closest acquaintances very carefully. Sure - I have tons of "friends." These are people I chat with on a daily basis, smile and share a few insights... you know - people I am friendly and familiar with.

But the people I let "in" are much, MUCH smaller. I have this theory - it's totally fine to share the details of my life, because they are what they are. I am not ashamed of the choices I have made, the mistakes I have stumbled through, or who I have traveled on this road of life with. Anyone who knows me, knows I will tell you everything, I am simply not afraid of sharing details. It's just the facts. I have nothing to hide. (Nor should YOU. Live out loud, even if for one day. It's really no big deal.)

But what I am not comfortable with is sharing my feelings. How I felt doing, seeing, hearing what I have experienced. Those intimate details are for only the closest of friends, and honestly - there are not that many of them in my life. I am careful who I let completely in. If I trust you with my feelings, or my troubles, or what not - I expect you to handle me with care.

Back to my people.

If I could pick a few people from history that I would probably connect with on the deepest levels, I would have to say there are three people: Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, and Flannery O'Conner.

Yes, I know - these girls were pretty intense. Very introspective... and that, my friends, is what interests me. When I meet people, I like to find people who are comfortable "going there" and tackling the tough subjects. For instance, I can RARELY find a friend to watch my super intense documentaries because they are "afraid" of "feeling" hard emotions. Heck, if I am not moved - I am bored. Good conversation mixed with even better coffee is a WONDERFUL way to spend the day.

That's how I view reading. The people who wrote those words, this comes from the very core of their souls. Here are a few quotes by my "people" - thoughts I am intrigued by.

Emily Dickinson:

"If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain."   

"That it will never come again is what makes life so sweet."   

"Bring me the sunset in a cup."   

"The dearest ones of time, the strongest friends of the soul--BOOKS."

"Till I loved I never lived."

"I know nothing in the world that has as much power as a word. Sometimes I write one, and I look at it, until it begins to shine."   

 "My love for those I love -- not many -- not very many, but don't I love them so?"

Flannery O'Conner:

"Whenever I’m asked why Southern writers particularly have a penchant for writing about freaks, I say it is because we are still able to recognize one."

"You shall know the truth and the truth shall make you odd."   

"The writer should never be ashamed of staring. There is nothing that does not require his attention."

"I write to discover what I know."   

"The Catholic novelist in the South will see many distorted images of Christ, but he will certainly feel that a distorted image of Christ is better than no image at all. I think he will feel a good deal more kinship with backwoods prophets and shouting fundamentalists than he will with those politer elements for whom the supernatural is an embarrassment and for whom religion has become a department of sociology or culture or personality development."   

"I come from a family where the only emotion respectable to show is irritation. In some this tendency produces hives, in others literature, in me both."

"Your criticism sounds to me as if you have read too many critical books and are too smart in an artificial, destructive, and very limited way."  ***(I should have said this to my old boss. LOL) ***

Sylvia Plath:

"And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt."   

"Kiss me and you'll know how important I am."   

"Death must be so beautiful. To lie in the soft brown earth, with the grasses waving above one's head, and listen to silence. To have no yesterday, and no to-morrow. To forget time, to forgive life, to be at peace."

"If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed."

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."  ***Amen, sister. Amen. ***

"Remember, remember, this is now, and now, and now. Live it, feel it, cling to it. I want to become acutely aware of all I’ve taken for granted."   

"Can you understand? Someone, somewhere, can you understand me a little, love me a little? For all my despair, for all my ideals, for all that - I love life. But it is hard, and I have so much - so very much to learn."    ** Lord, I feel as if I have said the same thing. ;-) ***

"And when at last you find someone to whom you feel you can pour out your soul, you stop in shock at the words you utter— they are so rusty, so ugly, so meaningless and feeble from being kept in the small cramped dark inside you so long."

"There must be quite a few things that a hot bath won't cure, but I don't know many of them."    

"I love people. Everybody. I love them, I think, as a stamp collector loves his collection. Every story, every incident, every bit of conversation is raw material for me. My love's not impersonal yet not wholly subjective either. I would like to be everyone, a cripple, a dying man, a whore, and then come back to write about my thoughts, my emotions, as that person. But I am not omniscient. I have to live my life, and it is the only one I'll ever have. And you cannot regard your own life with objective curiosity all the time..."   
 

"Perhaps some day I'll crawl back home, beaten, defeated. But not as long as I can make stories out of my heartbreak, beauty out of sorrow."    

"I want to be important. By being different. And these girls are all the same."

"because wherever I sat—on the deck of a ship or at a street café in Paris or Bangkok—I would be sitting under the same glass bell jar, stewing in my own sour air."    

**Ahhh.... what a great group of women!*** 

Nicoles: Choice

Good Monday morning!

It is a nice day - or at least it is here in Birmingham, Alabama. Not too hot (yet, though it is only 11:30ish) and the sun is shining just perfectly.

Right now I am drinking TONS of water, just had a massage and they did the "lymphatic drainage" thing, and I was told to drink lots and lots of water today. Yes, sir!

Now for my choices of the morning:

A song I just can't get enough of today is -


I think it is such a great song. Romantic, sweet, and it has a nice little sound to it. Not to mention those are two amazing singers!

As for a movie to check out... I recommend you check out Anna Karenina (The Masterpiece Thearter version.) I finally finished the book, then decided to check out the movie. If you don't have time to read the book (I have been trying for years)  - then watch this movie. It is on Instant Play on Netflix. You won't be disappointed.

Blogs to follow:

I want to point out 5 that I L-O-V-E - love.
(That was me spelling them out)

(This is my B's C's and D's category.. I am going in alphabetical order)

Bossy Betty -  Looking for some pretty pictures and poetry and a sneak peak into one Bossy Betty - then check out her site. She has a HUGE following, but somehow always finds the time to say hello.

Cassagram - Cassandra is one of the few bloggers I have actually met in person! She is a very interesting person - Grew up in Vermont, went off to college in Hawaii then NYC and is now working as a nanny in Europe. She writes about her travels and life. Fascinating character!

Dizzy C's Little Book Blog - Do you read as much as I do? Then check out Dizzy C's blog! She has amazing recommendations!

Give them a whirl and tell them I sent you!!

With the past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future. I live now.
                   ~Ralph Waldo Emerson


It's a new week. This week I am feeling more hopeful! I might hear about a job, I actually have money in my pocket, and I have enough to do this week to keep me super busy.

Regardless of what is to be - the most important lesson I have learned these past few weeks is to live in the moment.

I have spent one too many days stressing. One too many worrying about the future, or about what I did.

None of those things will change. What is done, is done. What will be, will be. All I can do is hold on, stay focused and take moment to smell the flowers.

PS - I will be back with some recommendations tomorrow morning (Monday.) Stay tuned for some blogs to follow, some songs to check out, movies to watch and perhaps a recipe!

Songs that stop me dead in my tracks.

*** Sorry - for some reason the "embedding" screwed up and one of the songs disappeared, while the other repeated.. Not sure what happened...

Ever find yourself going about your daily business when suddenly... a song comes on... you have to stop what you are doing, tell everyone to be quiet, turn the music up and start singing in the most dramatic way. You don't care what anyone thinks... this is YOUR song.

I have a few. Today that happened to me, I was watching TV and suddenly The Cure's "Just Like Heaven" came on... and suddenly I was swept up to another time, another place.

That song meant something to me at one time. I totally connected with it. I was lost, inside the melody.

Since it is Sunday, and I am full of Edy's Limited Edition Soft Churned (Light) S'more Ice cream, and laying on my bed... listening to music... I thought I would share the songs, and perhaps the scenarios that caused for a "moment."

Of course, I have to kick off with The Cure's "Just Like Heaven." Reminds me of the 11th grade, hanging out with friends in High School. (Hmmm.. come to think of it, Heather Barth probably..) Enjoy this song.. the words... are quite romantic actually, but such a great song to sing with friends, arms stretched out like you are a lyrical song bird!



Next- George Michael's "Careless Whisper." I still remember my exchange student, Mina and I, walking through a convenient store late at night, and we were paying attention, but both of us walked around the corner of an aisle singing this quite dramatically. We started laughing...

Also, my old room mate, Keli and I would sing this at the top of our lungs whenever it came on. Don't even get us started on the car choreography!


Here is another one, no matter where I am - I belt this one out. My friend Crystal and I sang this at the top of our lungs on one of our road trips.

It's Liza Minelli's Caberet.

There is another song my husband (yes the egyptian ) and I play along and sing to. One of the first phrases I learned in arabic was ana bahabak aktar. (Which means I love you more.) He introduced me to this song. You can't help but want to belly dance around your living room. Also - Amr Diab is Egyptian.



Here's one I get super dramatic with and will insist on if there is some Karaoke going on. (Granted, the karaoke has to be in someone's home. LOL)


Here's one (back in the 90s) I would belt out from time to time. Still love it, still crank it up when I hear it. ;-)


Now this is one, I don't know a single girl that does not pause to belt this one out. LOL



This one reminds me of road trips (and crazy drunken nights) with my friend Lynn. LOL We would always sing this one...



Finally...

This one is always on my play lists!

Morning Rituals

"The morning cup of coffee has an exhilaration about it which the cheering influence of the afternoon or evening cup of tea cannot be expected to reproduce." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr., "Over the Teacups," 1891

Oh how I love my morning cup of coffee. I view that first sip as one of the best moments of my day.

This morning, as I was grabbing my cup and heading into the sun room, I realized something. I have a basic morning ritual. What is significant about that thought is the fact that I am not a 'routine' type of girl. Nope, I pretty much go with the flow.

But in the mornings... now that's another story.

Let's take this morning- same as any other morning. I usually lay in bed a minute, allowing my eyes and mind to wake up naturally. I am not sure if it is just me, but everything seems so much clearer in the mornings. The colors brighter, the sounds more distinct. Perhaps a rested Nicole, is a "sharper" Nicole.

As all humans do, I head to the bathroom first. Those bladders, I tell you....

I take my morning medicine (some pills for my High BP) and a pop a multi vitamin and a glucosamine. All the essentials to LIVE. Then, without fail, I will exfoliate my face. I like the feeling of just cleansing off all of the old - it feels wonderful.

Next I head straight to the kitchen. I fill up my coffee pot and start to brewing. Unfortunately, I don't smell the coffee quite like I used to. I have a theory that my Nasanex has taken some of the sensitivity to smell away. LOL

Then the moment happens... I pour that first cup, add my creamer... and I walk, very slowly to the sunroom. I look out at the greenery and the sun shining through, and I take that first sip. Ahhhhhh..... warms the soul.

I will usually sit and wait for inspiration (doesn't actually take very long) - and then I share whatever crazy little thoughts with you guys.

I know I have told you I am reading the Artist's Way again. But I did read it several years ago, and one of the things I picked up on early was the "Morning Pages." That my dears, is what I do here. That's why I always joke and say it's dribble.

I do get a little serious from time to time. But mornings like this one, it's just observations. Usually by this evening, I will write something a little more in depth.

You might have noticed I was a little quiet yesterday, I just needed a little time to chill out. It had been a pretty long (relaxing) week.  Thank GOD - my severance (part one) came in. That was 2 weeks pay and a little over 2 weeks vacation in one hit. Translation - more money than I think I have ever had in my bank account. hahaha. I get one more installment at the end of the month. Still no unemployment - but that's okay.

Today is going to be relaxing. I begged the egyptian to agree to a movie today. Plus, I would like to go back to that church I tried last week. I used to attend Prince of Peace Catholic Church. I was very involved. But honestly, it was not my style. Back home, I would attend a very traditional church. POP was more modern. I found another Catholic church not too far from here, it's called St. Peter's - I really like it. The priest was adorable... shorter than me, and probably 90 something years old. He gave a really sincere homily. I don't know.. I just liked the feel of it. Everyone was - Nice.

Happy Sunday to each of you!

Trophy Theory

Casey Stengel once said, "Most games are lost, not won," but with the way kids are wracking up the trophies - how can that lesson ever be taught?

I have this theory, and it involves trophies. You know - the typical cup variety you see on the left, or maybe it's got a guy holding a baseball bat, or a girl with a tennis racket. It might be a piece of marble or granite, with something etched onto a plate that is attached to the rock.

That "something" you can hold in your hands and say - "I'm special."

It's the hard core version of the gold star.

My theory is this - we are raising a new generation that is used to getting the trophies.

I don't mean the kind of trophy that you earn by winning, or doing an excellent job. I am talking about the participation variety. The one where every, single kid is lined up in the ceremony and receives recognition.
You might be thinking, "So what. I think that's nice."

I would respond - ABSOLUTELY NOT.  See, in my opinion, we are creating a generation that will never know how to cope with disappointment.

Let's wake up for just a minute. There will be winners and there will be losers, and the sooner you realize this, the better off we will all be.
I used to see this so often, especially with interns. These kids CLEARLY got the participation trophy. They were not used to being told: "NO," "Not Good Enough," and "Do it Over."

I get it - when you encourage, then the kid feels "better" about himself, the self-confidence rises, and he or she will.... get this.. here's the clincher ... like you for it.
It's so self serving. We are creating an entire population that is, and I hate to say this, just a little "softer" than their predecessors. What's to happen when they find they don't land a job right out of college? Or when people aren't raving about them more often, etc. Here's a secret kids... what the adults are saying, it's just to make you 'FEEL' better. Those compliments are just that.. nothing more, and nothing less.

Now I am not saying we should not encourage the kids. Absolutely. But there needs to be a few lessons in learning how to be a GOOD loser. It's okay to lose from time to time. It's okay to be disappointed.

After watching these reality shows like, "Dance Moms," and "Toddlers & Tiaras" and a few others... I just get sick to my stomach. I don't know which is worse - the pouting kids, or the psychotic parents trying to correct their past wrongs and live vicariously through their spawn.
It's okay to not win the pageant, or not be the fastest. I also think it is important to be picked last... just once, at least. It's okay to be told no, and to have to stand in the corner. That's the  job of the parent - to teach those life lessons.
But what I am seeing is the exact opposite. These kids are being coddled. They are growing up "expecting" to be given the trophy, and guess what? In real life - there are not enough trophies to go around.

Hard work, dedication, enthusiasm, a sense of humor, and a little compassion will take you far. Even so, there will be times in your life when the bottom falls out.  The question I have for you moms and dads, can your kid hack it?
I hate to say this, and it may come off as completely controversial - but let's talk Bullying for a minute. I have heard about bullying more and more in the past five years. Kids killing themselves over some scandal, or gossip or bully. Parents up in arms over the words kids throw around.. and I keep hearing how "Kids now a days are so mean.." etc. etc.
I don't think it's gotten worse. I think these kids are ill-equipped to handle the situation. We were all bullied. Back in my day (not that long ago... through out the 80s) - kids were mean as snakes. Sure, I was bullied. Called names.. picked on.. threatened to be "beat up" after school. I remember going home to my mom, begging her to take me to school, not make me take the bus because "so & so" wanted to fight me.
You know what she did? She made me get on that bus. You know what happened? Nothing.
But you better believe, I remember.. walking to that bus.. scared to death, but learning a few very valuable lessons.

 1. 9 times out of 10 - The bully's bark is worse than their bite. 
 2. I could survive scary situations 
 3. Usually I worried about nothing.

I like this PSA - it does an excellent job of teaching kids to stand up and cope.





Again - if you give everyone a trophy, how will they ever learn to deal with the pain of rejectio?. If you coddle your kids and try to fight their battles for them, how will they ever learn to stand up to the bully?

Kids who end their lives because they were picked on, clearly had deeper issues than just the words or threats from the other children. Teaching them to deal with despair, and sadness, and anger, and helping build up their self-confidence in a fair and just manner has GOT to be the answer.

"In play there are two pleasures for your choosing -
The one is winning, and the other losing."
~Lord Byron

Things I Have Learned This Week

Time to take stock in the lessons of the week!

What have I learned, thus far?

1. Angels come in the form of furry friends. What a gift from God to be blessed with a pet you can love and call your own. They are only in our lives a short time - 10 - 18 years, but what an absolute joy they can bring. RIP Snowflake, kitty, kitty.

2. You are never too old to give it one more try. I interviewed for a TV News Producer position at the top TV station in town.

3. Maybe I should have stuck to my dream. Since I was 12 years old, all I ever wanted to do was work in TV. About 6 months ago, I started toying with the idea of seeing how I could get back in the biz. Lost my job, and 1 week later found myself in an interview. Talk about divine intervention.

4. Stress causes break outs. I don't think I have seen this many zits since I was 16 years old. Come to think of it, I never broke out - even when I was 16!

5. The egyptian is my rock. It doesn't make sense. He is a knuckle head most of the time. But I be damned, if he does not continue to stick with me. Surprises all around.

6. Cans can cut. I need to be careful when opening my canned goods. I sliced my pinky.

7. That's what the pantry is for! Finally getting around to all of those canned goods I never eat. It's amazing what you can live off of when you have absolutely no money.

8. B-R-O-K-E. Yep. Tapped out. Think I am kidding? I'm not. Down to 1/4 tank of gas and the food in the pantry.

9. The government sucks. Like I really needed to state the obvious? Unemployment - still no word, no money. I am on week 2.

10. Severance package? Hello?? Where are you??

11. Crisis can bring us together. The Islamic Academy called - they are not rehiring most of the teachers back due to the budget. That includes my beloved.

12. Times are hard. But as long as I have the air in my lungs, a warm bed at night, some PB &J - I will okay.

13. Wait - Add Netflix and electricity to that.

14. Oh yeah - and my Iphone. ;-)

15. That apparently the pool was not as important to me as I thought. I have yet to become a pool bunny in my unemployment. What a waste of amenities.

16. Zumba is my one scheduled activity each week.

17. It's a good thing I am a product whore. What does that mean? It means I buy TONS of beauty & hair products. This means I have PLENTY, and I don't have to worry yet.

18. AHA caused muscle tension. Most of my muscle tension is gone - HOORAY!

19. There are people who care about me. When I am able, I need to thank them.

20. These lists are so much fun!

Chillin'

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope. Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.  " ~Theodore Geisel

It's going to be one of those days.

I think for the first time in almost 2 weeks (yes, 2 weeks to today) ~ that I am able to truly NOT WORRY.

I don't know if it was the long ass interview yesterday, or me telling the egyptian what I thought about everything, or just finally being on my knees and asking God for a little mercy... there is something so freeing about being at the very bottom. I can't explain it.

Maybe it's the fact that I am such a perfectionist when it comes to having a great job, great relationship, etc. Maybe when I surrendered to reality, I was free.

Whatever happened, I am glad it did. Call it a wake up call, call it what ever you want. There is sense of freedom in it and I am happy. Not happy in a "I am feeling successful" kind of way, but more so in a "surrender" way. Can't explain it. The control freak has surrendered. Imagine that?

I am choosing to chill today. Nothing real to worry about, nothing within my control. I am in my pjs, drinking my coffee. I have everything I need for today, and that's all that matters. The rest are just details.

I am sure this feeling won't last - but for now it's nice.

I will meditate on Jeremiah 29:11 (which has become my absolute favorite Bible verse) -

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

I am still in music mode, because it is the poor man's therapy. Here are a few songs I have listened to this morning... maybe the words have contributed to my "good mood."

Have a GREAT Friday. Try to "chill out" !

Decompress.

Just feeling a little.. oh.. I don't know...

Between looking for jobs, and losing a job... I am just at a loss.

To the ups and downs with the egyptian... to being away from my friends back home.. to just... well.. finally experiencing my lowest...

Tonight, I am feeling a little anxiety. How do I deal with it? I listen to music and I write.

I think these songs do a good job of expressing what I feel.

Enjoy.

Breathe. Step. Repeat.

*disclaimer - I am tired, and refuse to proof read this... so.. please accept my apologies... posting as-is.

"The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. " ~Stanley J. Randall

*insert a sigh of relief*

I survived the BIG interview day. Some how.. some way... I got through it.

Breathe. Take a step forward. Repeat.

That's what I kept telling my self the entire time. Just get through it. Just get through it...

Think the "Little Engine That Could" : "I think I can.. I think I can...

I thought I could. I think I did.

Breathe. Step. Repeat.

It started out simple enough - fill out the application, even though you have a resume in their hands. Then I was escorted upstairs to the news room for the morning meeting. I got to see the dynamic of everyone there, the story ideas tossed back and forth, the buzzing of the police scanners. All of it was vaguely familiar. Then I began hearing the "lingo" and it was like a foreign language I once spoke was slowly coming back to me. Slowly... but surely.

So far - one hour down - so good. For the most part, everyone was friendly. Nope, can't remember a single name, and nope could not tell you what most of them did (outside of the on-air talent.. since I am more familiar with them.)

Next I was dropped off into the morning show hub to see how I fit in with the team. Luckily, I had worked with one of their "live" reporters on several stories in the past - so it went well.  We all laughed, chatted, I shared my story. They shared theirs. I can honestly say the chemistry was there. About 30 minutes into that, the Midday show was about to begin, and I was left in there to chat with one of the anchor/reporters.. and it was a nice chat.

It's noon now.

Time for one on one with the News Director and Assistant News Director. I was up front and honest about my job experience, sharing little tid bits here and there. He challenged me a few times with some questions like, "If you could take any inspiration from programming on tv now and incorporate it into a newscast - what would you do?" I thought about it.. and answered accordingly with examples and what not.

Then 30 minutes later - it's writing time. I was given 30 minutes to write 3 stories (from the wire feed) and was asked to write a creative piece on approaching the security gate.

Seriously.

I went for it with gusto. I don't know if it was actually 30 minutes, but the A. D. came out and asked me to print, had to go back in and the N.D. critiqued the stories I wrote. It's close to 1pm now.

Starting to get hungry. Starting to get tired. But hanging in there.

Then the final part of the interview takes place. The Assignment Editor, the A.D. and the N.D. role play with me for almost an hour. As if we are in a morning meeting. They give me the basic stories we have, I have to decide the "treatment" for them, then stack them in a newscast. Of course, the N.D. throws some little monkey wrenches in with examples like, "The live truck is down..." Or "You don't have the verdict.." Etc.

This is where I started getting a little nervous. It's been a while. These are stories I am not super attached to. But I stumbled my way through that section.

Only to spend the next 30 minutes or so answering trivia questions like - Name a State Senator, and Who's the Mayor of such and such, and finally "Who won the National Football Championship two years ago." *sigh* Breathe. Step. Repeat.

Finally, I got to share a little more about me, and ask a few questions. They answered graciously and sent me on my way.

It's hard to read news people, always has been. They come off way more tough than they actually are, but you have to go through that "initiation" of sorts... it's just how it goes.

Do I think they will hire me? Your guess is as good as mine.
Do I think I am qualified? Heck yeah.
Do I think I am rusty on the ins and outs? Of course.

But the basics haven't changed, even though the technology has. That's the good news.

Oooh... it was a looooong morning. But one thing I know for sure, I really liked the conversation during the morning meeting, I truly felt comfortable and good with the morning show team, and I know I could do this.

Whether or not there is someone else with just a little more experience, that remains to be seen.

I need a nap now. ;-)

Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. ~James Matthew Barrie

Future is Bright

All it takes is one bloom of hope to make a spiritual garden. ~Terri Guillemets

If that is true - then "Let my garden grow!!"

Tomorrow I have a big day, as far as possible "transitional living" can go. I am forever grateful for the opportunity to at least "see if" I am a fit somewhere. There is a possibility for yet another adventure, and to be honest with you - no matter how I would like to down play it, it sort of fills me with hope.

What can I say- I romanticize the little things?! ;-)

It may not work out, and it might work out... but that's the beauty of hope - it gives you SOMETHING to look forward to. If nothing else, I can chalk it up to experience.

I am hopeful about a hand full of really good stuff...

1. - Possible job!

2. - Fall - yes, blessed, oh perfect - fall is just around the corner. I L-O-V-E that time of year.. and I know without a doubt in one month, we will start to see little hints of it. THAT'S exciting.

3. Football season. Don't laugh. I don't actually follow football, nor do I enjoy watching it - but I LOVE knowing it is here. There is something so "community-esque" about it, and ... well.. 'fall.' It's just Americana at it's finest.

4. Ramadan ending (I will get my egyptian back! He is deeeeeeeep in fasting now. 1/2 way there!)

5. Finally - there is something comforting about seeing the school buses on the road. It's like the world is back to normal.

I don't know.. maybe I am seeing that little ray of sunshine poke through. Somehow, someway.. this personal nightmare will be coming to an end soon..

I look forward to that day.

PS - Lost another baby. My parents just called (right as I was about to post this - that my cat, Snowflake died about 15 minutes ago. :-( )

RIP Snowflake December 2000 - August 2011

The Nose Went Upward

For the most part, I am open-minded and a fairly accepting girl. But there are times my nose will head straight up, and I will snub, even the closest of friends.

Why?

Oh... I have my reasons...

People who throw the bible around as a way to condemn anything and everyone. (That goes for the Qu'ran, Torah, and any other sacred scripture.) I HATE when people assume you are going to hell. Just leave me alone.

People who eat at chain restaurants all the time.

Also - anyone who travels abroad and eats at an American Chain restaurant.

WHY?

Plastic Surgery

Consuming only processed food.

People who tan - excessively

Anyone who uses or goes to a tanning bed

Need I say more?

Oh how i deplore Walmart. It is sometimes a necessary evil. But if this is where you do ALL of your shopping....

Oh my...

It's what's wrong with this world.

Support your local Mom & Pop.

For a longer list - head over to - Things I Don't Understand or Blog Hop Rant or Things I don't Like that Men Sometimes Do or Things I don't like that other people do. or Things that freak me out.

That should conclude my dislikes for the day!

What would you add? What do you agree on!

Make sure to check out the other links to get a full understanding. ;-)

El Segno

"The road that is built in hope is more pleasant to the traveler than the road built in despair, even though they both lead to the same destination. "~Marian Zimmer Bradley

Still on my little journey, still working out all of the thoughts rolling through my head. Still looking for signs.

Sunday I let go. I told God, "Fine - have it your way, I trust you." :-)

Monday morning, the friend at the TV station emailed me and asked me to come to the station to "interview" on Thursday. 10am - 3:30pm. WOWza.

He answered.

The most important lesson I have picked up the past couple of days is humility, listening with my heart, trusting in God, to breathe in - followed by breathing out, and putting one foot in front of the other. Everything else will be...

Que sera, sera.

I have been collecting my "el segnos" with my Iphone. Sorry, I rarely have my good camera with me. But I want to share with you what I have seen in the past week 1/2.

A friend's key chain.

Look cafefully behind the trees - it says, "You Are Beautiful!!"

"If I could hear Christ praying for me in the next room, I would not fear a million enemies. Yet distance makes no difference. He is praying for me." ~Robert M. McCheyne

Some Kind of Wonderful

"The hardest work is to go idle. "
~Yiddish Proverb

Monday morning: A Venti Caramel Macciato in one hand, ipod in the other... singing along to Joss Stone's "Some kind of Wonderful.."

What do I have to complain about??

I am attempting to unwind. Officially. First time in 28 years. Really release that tension.

I believe it is possible, but I believe it might take a little tenacity. ;-) Time to just chill.... let's take Mr. Chesney's advice.



Just relaxing.

I am giving myself a day off from looking for a job. I thought I would take the time off this past weekend, but I did not. I need one day to just - BE. What a better day than Monday? A gloomy, muggy Monday at that, but a Monday, no less.

Music - coffee - a little cleaning - perhaps the pool - a few phone calls - a few movies - some good reading material...

It's all good.

I guess I should close with the song that put me in a good mood - sing along, if you will!