Acceptance

Jasmine Guinness once said, "In my twenties, I was obsessed with what other people thought of me. In my thirties, it's about my children, my husband, my work. In my forties, it's going to be about me, and I shan't care what anyone else thinks. I can't wait!"

Here I am. Sitting just inside the 40 yard line. I suppose at this point in my life, I have created the person I wanted to become... or at least I got part of it right. Regardless of whether I am winning or failing, here I am.

I had a fantastic lunch just yesterday with a good friend of mine. She is in her mid-thirties, accomplished professionally, has her MBA, and shares a lot of the same interests as I do. We were chatting about another friend of ours, a younger woman who is trying so desperately to be acknowledged for her accomplishments. She wants to be seen as a writer, a marketer, a this... a that.. desperate for validation. Her path started a little later than the rest of ours, so there is more of an uphill battle for her. But at the end of the day, all she wants is someone to tell her she did it. She has arrived.

But she hasn't. 
And it is borderline annoying. 

Regardless, you have to be patient and recognize the hustle. I'll give her that, she's got lots of hustle. She's getting there, maybe her push is a little messy and off-putting, but she's on the cusp of "making it." Then again, she has a looooong way to go.

Validation is a funny thing. We all yearn for it on some level. We need it in our core. It gives us a false sense of security. I believe in your 40s, you suddenly have all of the validation you need. I don't need you to tell me I am doing a good job. I know what I have done. I don't need public recognition, I know what I am doing. Yes, it feels good to know you are doing something and yes, it is nice to be recognized for doing it, but it is not the end all be all. 

One thing is for certain: As quickly as we rise, we will fall... only to rise again, and potentially fall... yet again. It's the ebb and flow of life. I think when you can grasp that, the rest sort of just works itself out.

One of my favorite authors, F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, "It is in the thirties that we want friends. In the forties we know they won't save us any more than love did." 
There is a peace in being okay with who you are and where you are in life. 

Speaking of life - A lot has happened over the past few weeks. Good things, stressful things, and in between things! I'd liked to share a few highlights with you!

The move happened. My friends Derek and my love, Mr. S.G. helped me get my heavy stuff in storage. 

Salvatore did what he could to help out!

I probably melted a little. Hot & Humid Georgia Weather + Moving is NOT a winner

I got to play tooth fairy to this 1st degree Black Belt. YES!!!

The freelance writing ops are incredible this year! Three articles in the last Macon Magazine, and I have about 5 more coming up with the 11th Hour publication. Not too shabby for supplemental income!

I finally got to relax at S.G.'s for the weekend. Lots of fun in the sun! (Yes, he has a pool. His house has like 500 outdoor activities! And people wonder why I go down there sooo much?)

His middle child and I in the pool

His youngest and I!

His oldest (with the black hair) and the rest of his family by the pool

THIS

Having fun!

I've added some new items to the gift shop!

Was interviewed for a story - "What does it mean to be Southern?" 

There is a new restaurant in town - Parish on Cherry (New Orleans style flavor)

Candied Bacon (with a little spicy kick) and a marmalade of some kind with peppers

Oyster Po Boy with potato spirals

Plus... I have the best friends a girl could ask for - CHEEEEEEEEESSSSSSEEEEEEE

Wanting to Sit Still (Plus my Friday Favorites!)

I'm having one of those days/weeks/months where I get a little introspective. As I begin to pack up my life, I realized I have not sat still for over 5 years - EVER.

I looked back over my 42 years of life and recounted all of the places I have lived. I have not lived in the same place over 5 years. How depressing is that?

No real sense of home. No place to just decompress.

I believe that is why it is so important to me to have my "things" around me. My "stuff" has become home. Last night, I packed up all of my books. The written word has always brought me great comfort. I am glad to have that. You can only imagine the sense I loss I felt last night as I packed up my friends. I had to say goodbye to inspiration, my therapists, my life line. Everything is going into storage for... who knows how long.

You are probably wondering why don't I just strike out on my own? Well, I can't right now. Financially, I need to rebuild my savings. I love my job, but it is only a part-time position with the museum. Yes, I am the Executive Director, but our hours of operation cannot withstand full time employees. I am supplementing with freelance writing opportunities. I feel blessed to have been able to live off of my savings over the past 6 months, but the savings did exactly what I needed it to do - get me through a crunch. Now with my roomie leaving, I am left with little choice but to move in with my sister.

That's okay. All of it is. I love what I do. I love who I work with. I love the writing (which is really what I wish I could do full time.. maybe one day...) but for now, I need to take care of me.

And ME.. just wants to sit still for a while.

Moving on...

I'm starting a new thing with my blog (as you could tell yesterday,) it was a Throwback Thursday, where I will recount a specific time from my past. On Fridays, I want to share with you what I have fallen in love with! Either I own it, or I want it!

Okay.. with all of the personal budget cuts, I've had to make a few adjustments in areas I do NOT like to compromise. One of those is foundation. I was using Christian Dior's Star (studio ready,) which is very expensive, but AWESOME. I had to do a little soul searching and I think I may have found a decent "drug store" alternative. It pains me to admit it, but it works equally as well and for about $50 less. I bought this:

I have to say, it really does a fantastic job. I bought my bottle in Nude Beige. It goes incredibly smooth, smudges out fine lines and discoloration, and feels like silk. 

Okay. Done. 

Another thing I am working on is getting serious about my gym plan. One of many things keeps me from going as regularly as I would like. 1. I live close to my job and my gym is far away. Clearly, I go home more often than not. 2. My feet kill me when using the treadmill. (I blame years of ballet.) Plus my shoes are crap. 3. Finally - I'm am busty. a 42 G to be exact. No sports bra seems to work.

Well.. I have research and come back with some serious findings. 1. My sister lives 20 minutes from Macon. There is a 9 year old there. If I am going to get any "me time" - it is going to have to be at the gym. So - that will require me to go after work. Fixed that problem.

I researched the best shoes for my issues. Here is what I found:

Review after review recommends this shoe. It is the ASICS Women's GEL-Kayano 20 Running Shoe and runs between $80 - $160. 

This running shoe offers a blend of stable support and stretchy comfort, ideal for a neutral to overpronating stride.

One person said, "'I've always wondered why people buy pricey athletic shoes. From outward appearances they look deceptively similar. After I bought these I understand why. Not a runner, I bought these because I have nerve damage to my feet, & they were available in a wide width. I also spend a lot of time on concrete floors(school). By the end of any work day I'm in misery. Seriously, this shoe I don't want to take off even when I arrive home. Best investment I've made in a shoe. I may even start running! Oh, and did I mention that I've received so many compliments on these shoes?"

I feel like I have found a winner. 

Then to address the final problem - the sports bra for a busty girl. 
I think I may have a solution:

 

Glamorise Women's No-Bounce Full-Support Sport Bra. 

Yep. Comes in my size and in numerous colors. According to the site:
For fuller busted women seeking upper bust control, full coverage, and medium impact support. Open mesh cami design provides breathable upper bust containment during active workouts. Reinforces wire-free cups provide exceptional support and comfort while the moisture wicking fabric keeps you cool and dry.

Best part? Under $25. Here's hoping for the best!

 

Those are my top picks for this week! I hope everyone has a great weekend! As always, I'm busy busy busy. But I wanted to take the time and make an effort to write daily again. 

 

Until next time.. 

Things I Have Learned While Moving..

Moving. It's hell.

However there are a few nuggets of truth that will help me (and you) grow as a person.

Things I have learned while moving:

1. The idea is that to fill a box to the top will save money in the long run. Less boxes = more space on truck and less purchasing of expensive boxes from U-Haul.

2. Learning that #1 was false. It is actually more expensive and more frustrating for the people trying to move your boxes, which means you end up with an extra day or two of moving, since the boxes are too heavy to carry upstairs.

3. That having your items tucked away in storage for about 9 months will keep them safe and sound. Why did I find silverfish, spiders and mouse droppings in my carefully sealed boxes?

4. That picking out the right home and providing desired privacy for your significant other will make you a hero. It won't. Moving is still moving. It's hell.

5. That setting up your kitchen and bathroom first still remains the best idea ever. However, make sure that once you have unpacked your entire kitchen, and have used up every bit of space, that when that surprise box of "more kitchen stuff" arrives, you are able to calmly rearrange... again.

6. A big jar of dill pickle spears from your little sister is the BEST gift in the world. Especially when you are trying to do Weight Watchers and are craving something salty and can't consume the chips.. even though you are stressed out!

7. Ordering your new living room furniture and dining room chairs weeks before you move is a smart idea. Don't go the week of and expect to sitting pretty once you move in. It's hell sitting in lawn chairs.

8. Separate closets as well as separate bathrooms, just might save a marriage. ;-)

9. Two control freaks do not equal a good decorator. Especially when one of the control freaks comes from a male-dominated culture. Female loses. Random art work in random places instead.

10. There is absolutely NOTHING like sleeping in your own bed. Especially after spending the past nine months on a love seat.

11. There is absolutely NOTHING like making coffee YOUR way in YOUR coffee pot. (Well, except sleeping in YOUR own bed.)

12. I remember the scene in 'Under The Tuscan Sun' where Diane Lane's character, Frances, talked about moving into a new home: Introduce yourself slowly. Pick one room and make it your own.

I've done that and it has made all the difference.

13. Having wireless again is my drug of choice.

14. It seems I need a housewarming party to replace a few items. Anyone game?

15. That when picking out an apartment, try to visit during the "high sun." Apparently there is one room that stays hot from 10am until 3pm. Our bedroom.

16. Did I mention two bathrooms and two closets will do wonders for us?

17. I *heart* my island in the kitchen.

18. Outside of family, it's hard to get friends to drop by when there is no furniture in the living room.

19. Apparently, a professionally cleaned carpet can hide small stains. But as time goes by and you walk on said carpet, little spots begin to show up.

20. I am back to normal. :-) Almost one year later.