Scheduling

As I was debating how to keep myself on track, I realized there has to be a more organized way (besides using my brain) to get everything I need to do - done.

Then I realized something: when it comes to work, I live by Outlook's calendar. Why don't I try scheduling my personal life there also?

For example, I need to get back into my exercise routine. I was doing so good for a while there, and I have sort of played hooky for a week. Part of my Happiness Project involves adding even MORE exercise to the routine of the week. It is supposed to bring me more energy, release endorphins, reduce stress, help me shed pounds, and over-all - feel great. I even actually ENJOY exercise - it's the motivation to actually do it I lack.

Which brought me back to one of my rules - I need to just DO IT. I am NOT naturally motivated. I have to push myself to do anything. I (truly) would rather lay around. I KNOW how to be lazy.. just not really how to relax.

I went for a short massage yesterday, with my Chinese Holistic folks. They tried to pound out a knot in my shoulder. When I went to leave, the little guy said (in broken english), "You have tense in shoulder. You relax more." I just smiled.

Yesterday went really well. Work was great - I got to visit with one of my radio partners, COX Radio here in Birmingham. They have moved to another location, and honestly, it helps me because the entire radio group is located in one building now, versus different studios. The main Promotions Director I work with gave me a little tour of the new studios. It's nice.

I even had lunch with the egyptian. I took him to FLIP Burger Boutique. The food there is awesome. I actually tried it for the first time last Friday, and as soon as I bit into the Butcher's Cut burger, I said, 'The egyptian will love this.' So he and I had lunch together yesterday. He loved it. Please click on the link above and check out the menu. Then scroll down to the milkshake selection. WOW.

Here are some pics from the egyptian's burger... then some pics from my Friday lunch. (Taken with my mobile phone.. sorry for the quality)

Friday I ordered the Butcher's cut (with frisee, blue cheese, redwine jam/sauce, vidalia onions, and then a side of fried bread & butter pickles.

This picture is hilarious. My Krispy Kreme Milkshake is smoking!!!

My friends - Jamie and Laura

In this picture, Laura was exactly 6 days from her due date - NOW she is two days!!!

The egyptian ordered the regular burger - and it has heirloom tomatoes, cheese, onions, lettuce and coca cola ketchup. He had a side order of french fries with smoky mayo

You can kind of see the decor behind me. Really cool white boothes.

Friday we went to celebrate our co-worker, Lisa's last day. She is moving back to Nebraska. (Lucky duck!)

Finally - Laura and her super large burger. BUT - she IS eating for two. :-)

Over all, yesterday was good. I fell asleep at 9:45pm, and woke up naturally at 6:46am. So far, the plan is working. I stayed pleasent, I prayed, I smiled, I planned, I accomplished..

I was happy.

Things I Wish I Had More of In My Life

This morning, as I sat in my sunroom, just gazing out at the sunrising, I thought about the life I had created for myself when I lived in Macon, Georgia.

It had all of the elements I wanted. The only missing puzzle piece, was to be with someone who I really cared about. At that time, I was in a marriage with someone I was not too crazy about. He was nice.. but...

Anyway.

I began to think, what would I do NOW, if I could just settle in and create the perfect life for myself. Several ideas popped into my head, and they are TOTALLY doable. There ARE things I want to do, and people I want to see more. I have either done these things from time to time or I can't seem to figure out how to make it happen here.

So without any more chitter chatter - here are the things I wish I had more of in my life:

1. A GREAT Bible study class. (Don't scoff.) It's true! When I lived back home, I had a wonderful (small) Bible study class. We always met at a local coffee shop, met for about 2 hours, and had a blast. It was almost like a little group therapy session. We were a mix of different ages, races, financial backgrounds - it was great! I met some of my closest friends to this day there. I would give anything to find a small Bible study group. My church has really BIG groups. Nothing intimate, where you can connect with others. Plus, the one time I attended, I was bored to tears.

2. Go hiking more. I actually LOVE to hike. The only person I found who would go with me is a friend Katie, but I have sort of lost touch with her. There are some amazing places to hike around, it's very much the foothills of the Appalachian Mountains. I would love to have a few friends who would go hiking with me.

3. Camping. Did I ever tell you how much I LOVE to camp? It's true. I used to camp every summer from the age of 6 - 12. Then I worked out at a camp ALL summer from the age of 18 - 23. I miss camping soooo much. Most of the people I have met in Birmingham (and maybe because it is the city) are not into camping. I have all the gear and NO ONE to go camping with.

4. Play Board Games. I have TONS of board games and NO ONE to play them with. I LOVE LOVE LOVE board games. The egyptian HATES games. Literally HATES them.

5. Go for a picnic. I think it would be super fun to meet up with friends, at least once a month, for a picnic & frisbee. I miss doing things like that.

6. Join a Non Fiction writers group. WHICH- FINALLY this may happen. Remember the post I wrote about the writing workshop. On the registration paper, you had to write what genre you prefer. I get a call the next morning from a woman who created the workshop, asking me if I would like to join this VERY type of group she was creating. YES! So.. in time... :-)

7. Have a Zumba buddy. I LOVE my Zumba classes, but how much MORE fun would it be to have a friend with me. Luckily, I am now friends with one of the instructors - but that is NOT the same thing.

8. Themed Dinner Parties. Okay, I used to throw a party at my house back home about once a month. That's back when I was a scrapper. Oh yeah - you should see my 20+ scrap books and all of the themed parties inside of them. But my social circle is smaller, and now I am more interested in cooking. What if I had about 2 or 3 more couples that would like to do a themed dinner party. Like - pick a country, or a type of food - whatever. Meet at their house, everything from music, to food- etc. is that theme? How fun would that be? I am on a mission to do this!

9. Photography Buddy. Now - one of my dearest friends from work, Laura, is an actual photographer. She and I, as well as our friend Jamie, spent one fall Saturday at a farmers market and antique stores taking photographs. That was sooooo much fun! I would LOVE to find someone like that, who would like to, maybe every other week, go out and take pics at different locations. Just for fun. :-) I might be able to talk Laura into that - though, she is about to have a baby, and I think her interests may be a little busy. THOUGH, she can always strap little Veda Jane to her back and we could GO! LOL (Laura, if you read this - think about it!)

10. Finally - Use that damned sewing machine of mine. It keeps staring at me, begging me to create something. I am so pathetic, I don't even know how to thread the damned thing. I am waiting on my "instructor." LOL I am not calling out any names. hahahaha... YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE. ;-)


That's it. TEN THINGS I WISH I HAD MORE OF IN MY LIFE.
What about you? What little "thing" would you change in your life? Or rather, add to?

April Weekends

 I thought I would share a few of my favorite things from this weekend thus far. Yes - it's picture taking time - you can always tell when I get on a kick.

First I want to share with you a pic of the Bruschetta I made! It is a Weight Watchers recipe! It is Eggplant, Zucchini & Red Bell Pepper. (With fresh basil & Parm.) The egyptian and I ate it up very fast and it was loaded with nutrients and low points value!

Last night I made a low fat Slow-cooker Lasagna from the Weight Watchers Recipes. HUGE success!!

This is my new obsession. But it's working!!

This is Veda Jane's baby gift. My friend Laura had her shower today, and this is the finished product I took!

Sweet little card for her.

Veda Jane's First gift from me!

I told you I got a sewing machine.. right? Well - here it is. Never been used. Still waiting on my lesson from a very busy Laura!

My mom bought this coaster for me. It suits me. I keep it on my desk here at home.

I bought a sassy purse about a month ago and forgot to share it with you!

Latest book I am reading. Came highly recommended. It's interesting.. that's for sure.

BAD pic of me.. but I bought the best thing in the world for $4 at Books a Million. It relaxes you and "scratches" your head.

Here it is! It's freaking awesome!

Last night.. just so I could finish a movie I was watching. (Before & After with Liam Neeson. Was good.)

\

Left overs!

This morning..

The centerpiece for Laura's Shower. Her nursury colors are cream, peach and tan/made with burlap.

Served at this shower: Punch, Water, Sausage Balls, Grits with Gouda, Quiche, Cake, Fruit, Sweet rolls

Gifts galore for Veda Jane!

Laura with her friends. Isn't she so adorable preggie?

Not a detail missed - Veda Jane on burlap!

Do I even need to tell you who this is? Yep, it's her beautiful mom.

Everyone was very creative in wrapping!

This was the sweetest gift. The trunk is from her mom. Laura called it the "Treasure Trunk." In it was all of her childhood items. Here she is sharing the story behind her baby bracelet.

Her nikes!

This little outfit got lots of oooh and ahhhs.

I totally fell in love with this blanket!

Was a great Baby Shower for a Great Person!

The friend who got away...

A friend is the one who comes in when the whole world has gone out. ~Grace Pulpit


Sometimes I miss my best friend. You remember the one, right? Your first little best friend? The one who you told all of your childhood secrets to, and played barbies with.

My best friend has long since left my life. A long, long time ago.

My first little best friend was named Dedra. Dedra and I attended Union Elementary School in Macon, Georgia.  We actually met at Brownie's, not in school. She and I were in different homeroom classes, and back then - your teacher was your one teacher. Kids did not start changing classrooms until the 4th grade.

Dedra, "Dee" for short, had blond hair and big green eyes. She was skinny as a rail and had a really big overbite. Throughout the years we were always neighbors. Our families lived in Riverbend Apartments, then both families ended up moving to a neighborhood called Crystal Lake.

She and I were inseparable from 1st - 6th grade. A true little best friend. We played Barbie's together, rode bikes, played the game of "Life," and dreamed about what Middle School was like and wondered who our first boyfriend's would be. Typically if one of us had a crush, the other was sure to have the same crush. Because that was what best friend's did.

We would borrow each other's clothes, and it always seemed Dee had better clothes than me. She even had the better Barbie - Jordash Barbie. But while she sported the best clothes, best barbies, and even the Barbie Dream House - I always had the best records, the best books, and honestly - the best experiences.

See, Dee was the daughter of a single mom (most of the time.) Her mom remarried several times through out of childhood. Her older sister basically raised her and her little brother. Her mom worked all the time. My mom was a stay at home mom, and my parents made sure I had plenty of afterschool activities. I took ballet, and theater classes, and writing workshops and had my Girl Scout Meetings and theater camps and recitals. Dee had Girl Scouts... and me.

I would run off to Ballet class and come back and try to teach her all of my dances. She was actually pretty good at tap. After a few summers of tennis lessons at camp, I came back and taught Dee how to play front and backhand. She would often run lines with me - as I was trying to memorize my latest part in community theater.

She loved Huey Lewis and the News, and I was a BIG Duran Duran fan. We would listen to our records all the time and sing until our throats were scratchy. Dee got really lucky in the 6th grade and her parents got her a boom box.You remember the kind? The big silver ones, with a handle and big speakers. We would take a walk around Crystal Lake at night and blare Debarge's "Rhythm of the Night" really loud. We were in our own little protective bubbles and life was grand.

That last summer before the 7th grade we made a promise to always be best friends. We had come this far - and could not imagine life without the other. She and I both started middle school, and due to testing scores -we were placed in different clusters. With different clusters came the realization we would have to make new friends. Ironically enough, I met a red haired girl named Wendy, a brown haired girl named Jill and a blond named Tara. We ended up calling ourselves the fabulous four. Dee, on the other hand, met Wendy's best friend from childhood - Jennifer - and they became good friends. It was almost as if we switched best friends.

Still, after school, Dee and I would hang out and share stories about our new circles. We were able to keep it together in the 7th grade.

By 8th grade - my friendship circle expanded even more. I became really close to a girl named Bridgett and another named Kandis. Dee stuck to what she knew best, some of the girls from our neighborhood. I began to gravitate toward the more extroverted girls, while Dee stayed with the shy crowd. I got really caught up in theater and dance, and suddenly I did not have as much time for my dear little friend.

High school brought us closer together again. However, she was not a big fan of some of my friends. My friend Bridgett and I became very close. To know Bridgett was to know a modern day drama queen. Very beautiful girl, and yes - the boys flocked to her like a moth to the flame. I suddenly was gravitating to a more "social" group of friends, and dear little Dee, kept true to her identity and remained the same.

As the years went on - the separation became more and more clearer. We still called each other best friends, and we still hung out "after" school, but less and less. My friends were one thing and her friends were another.

The last real division for us happened our 12th grade year. We had homeroom together, and for that I was thrilled. We made a point to sit near one another and we would basically catch up in those 30 minutes - then disappear from each other's lives until the next morning.

As the year was drawing to a close.. I remember us talking about our futures. I had applied to some universities and had recently picked the one I was planning to go to. Dee, on the other hand, met a boy and saw her ticket out of her parent's home. She was going to get married.

Needless to say, I was shocked. I could not imagine this. After all of the years of dreams of big careers and amazing futures - she was taking a different path. I think the nail that drove that coffin shut was about two weeks before graduation I asked Dee if we could spend some time together before graduation and her wedding. I told her I was afraid I would never see her again. She was completely offended. She did not know why I said such a thing.

Two weeks after graduation, I attended her wedding. She was 18 years old. That summer, I have no idea where she ended up going. True to form - I worked that summer, did some community theater and ran off to college.  The year was 1991.

I did not hear from Dee until 2001. I had gotten her number from her mother. I ran into her one trip home at an Olive Garden. I rang her - and she insisted I come and visit.

At this point, I had graduated from college and was working in television. I drove the almost 4 hours to her home in south Georgia. She and her husband had 2 children and had recently purchased a manufactured home. She was very proud of her home and kids. She was a stay at home mom, her husband worked construction.

We sat up for hours talking and laughing. I brought all of my old photo albums with me and we went through every picture. She caught me up on her life also.

I left that Sunday - and have not spoken to her since. We did reconnect on FB and only chatted for about 5 minutes.

Times have changed. She has changed.. or maybe, she did not. Maybe it was me that changed.. and she will always remain.. my oldest best friend. Though we have nothing in common anymore - and the silence is almost deafening... it is a reminder of the risk of relationships. Either you evolve together, or your season has passed.

There is a Nigerian proverb that says, "Hold a true friend with both hands."

I am afraid I let go - searching for greener pastures.

One day... it won't exist.

The period of time between each visit home gets longer and longer with time.

I find that I do most of the traveling to see the very people/family/places that once meant so much to me.

Not a whole lot of the path is beaten down coming this way.

I wonder, in the next 20 years or so, will I even return to Macon? Will it matter?

My parents are aging, they will retire soon. Will they stick around? Will they even BE around? It's a somber thought.

What is left of what was once home? Recently I was terribly homesick for a few things that were familiar. On this trip back, I made a point to see some "old favorites", taste some "old cravings", and visit some good friends. I got to sample the Nuway hotdog; eat my guac and yellow cheese queso at Polly's; sample the garlic & cheddar biscuits at Red Lobster; see friends I have not seen in years (one in almost 20 years); walk the streets that were once my "stomping grounds"; sit in a park near the river; visit with family during a "mile-stone" birthday for my niece...

It was all there. The prescription for a "home-sick-fix." What do I feel? Nothing.

I don't have to eat those items anymore. They just taste greasy and fattening now. The friends I once spent hours on the phone with as a kid, now feel more like aquaintances and there is that ackwardness and small talk that no one feels comfortable with. None of my "friends" seemed to know what I did for a living, or what my interests were or anything. I asked lots of questions of them.. but it all seemed more one sided.

When it comes to family, I seem like more of an inconvenience. (All except for my niece.) Plus, I think some people can never find happiness. So it's best I live my life... not quite so involved.

It is simply not home anymore.

I have one more "socialogical" experiment. I am meeting up with some old friends from college the first weekend in June. We have not seen one another in probably 15 years or so. Not sure how that will play out either. But I will do my time, hopeful as always, of reconnecting.

I never understood my friends (new ones - here) that did not keep in touch with their old aquaintances. Now I am starting to see why.

It has nothing to do with the people. Everyone is fine, and delightful and all is well in their worlds. But that is just it - I am not a part of their world anymore.

My world consists of my husband (the egyptian), my little apartment, my writing, my pictures, my job, and all of the accomplishments I have achieved. I guess my home is where my Yasser is. We are our own little family now.

I hope the best for everyone else. I really do. But I think, at least right now, that my "reunions" with old friends might take a back seat for a while. I am tired. I am not included in these other little "worlds"... for people who once meant (and really still do) mean so much to me will never reciprocate what I like to put into long-distance friendships. It is not their fault. I am simply not of their world.