Better In Time.

:-) Lyrics:

 It's been the longest winter without you, I didn't know where to turn to.
See, somehow I can't forget you, After all that we've been through.
Going, coming... thought I heard a knock Who's there?
No one Thinking that I deserve it
Now I realize that I really didn't know, If you didn't notice, you mean everything. Quickly I'm learning to love again, All I know is I'm gon' be okay
[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah (It'll all get better in time) And even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to It'll all get better in time I couldn't turn on the TV, Without something that'll remind me
Was it all that easy To just put aside your feelings?
If I'm dreaming, don't wanna lie, Hurt my feelings But that's the path I believe in, And I know time will heal it
 If you didn't notice, well You mean everything.
 Quickly I'm learning (oooh) to love again, All I know is I'm gon' be okay
 [Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too, ooh yeah (It'll all get better in time)
And even though I really love you, I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to, ooooooh It'll all get better in time Since there's no more you and me (no more you and me)
It's time I let you go so I can be free And live my life how it should be. (and I know, and I know) No matter how hard it is, I'll be fine without you, Yes I will.
[Chorus:]Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too ohhhh It'll all get better in time ooooh And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to (yes I do) It'll all get better in time, woah
Thought I couldn't live without you It's gonna hurt when it heals too, yeahh It'll all get better in time And even though I really love you I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to...

Choices

"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.  I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.  I was naïve.  I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:  that I am nobody but myself."  ~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

I've been trying really hard to set some boundaries for myself. A little routine, a few goals - and all I am ending up with is frustration.

I decided that I make my own rules. I am a grown woman. I have a job. I have a home. I have a family and a handful of good friends. I know right from wrong. Why am I constantly trying to label my life?

I'm just going with the flow... I must.... or I will simply lose my mind.

I am happy. I am having fun. 

Yet.. I keep beating myself up for it.

What's up with that?

It's a process.... and I am trying to find myself. My authentic, original, purposeful self. 

I'm not going to label what I am doing. I am not going to try to figure it all out. I'm just going to enjoy myself.

I'm taking off this weekend for the mountains of Tennessee with a friend. Just a weekend get-away. To clear the mind. To laugh. To just be.

That's all I need to do. No explanations.

Sunday Musings...

I love these long weekends. I have the opportunity to stay in pjs all day, which we all know is my absolute favorite thing to do.

Yesterday was a really good day. I spent the day organizing and deep cleaning. It seems I am slowly finding my way in the larger apartment alone. The cats are settling in and are learning their boundaries. I also spent the afternoon grooming: hair color/pedicure.. etc. It really was a nice Saturday.

Sooo.. last night I had my first "official" date post divorce. Had a wonderful time - great conversation, watched a wonderful movie, it went so well.. the gentleman asked me out for a second date. (Yay!) Though I am cautious.. I tend to be a serial monogamer, and for whatever reason, guys get a little too attached too quickly with me (always have... ask any of my friends. What's even stranger, these guys are typically NOT the kind to be in a "couple." I guess I just have that girlfriend vibe.) Anyway, I will probably take him up on another date or two, but keep my distance. It's good to get back out there and remember how to laugh with a guy again. Nothing serious, just fun. THAT'S exactly what I needed.

I even have another date with someone else line up for next Saturday. hahahahaha...

Oh boy.

Anyway, life goes on and outside of still needing to get the car fixed/looked at, I'm good. I hope each of you are having a delightful Sunday. For me? Reality TV... frozen pizza.. and sweet tea. :-)

Things I Learned This Week

1. I have this weird obsession with the Real Housewives of New Jersey. I could watch those episodes over and over and over and...

2. People who don't drink coffee concern me. When someone tells me they don't drink it, I begin to think there is something slightly off about them.. kind of like they are of a different culture and clearly would not have my back in a street fight. (Not that I would ever get into a street fight... but... you know..)

3. This single thing is sort of fun.. sort of scary... sort of crazy. I actually have a date tonight! Movie and conversation. He uses too, two, and too correctly. He passed the test. ;-) AND he seems very sweet. Something I rarely find attractive in a man. hahahhhaa... (Just looking back on past relationships..) No.. I'm not looking for anything. Just nice to have a date. (I'll keep you guys posted.) PS - He's VERY tall. 6'2. I'm 5'1/5'2ish. Hmmm..

4. Cats. Oh my children. I woke up yesterday with a cat's ass in my face and I have multiple kitty scratches on my left hand. I swear...  Just this morning, I woke up with the baby kitten (11 weeks old) running circles around my head... scampering across my chest.. then repeat. My hair is completely tangled... it's a mess.

5. Funny how my SWOT analysis became a workshop on how to become a kept woman. Apparently there are tons of rules for this: Keep your nail and hair up. Wear the heels in the kitchen. Be submissive in the bedroom. Oh Stephanie... you kill me. ;-)

6. Pertaining to number 5 - Never put 4 writers/marketing gurus and a psychology major in the same room. This equates to hours of relationship speculation and analysis.

7. Have you seen the Zesty Italian  commercials yet? OH MY. I laugh every time. Here is my favorite:






 8.My car is completely acting kooky. It has stalled twice. The EPC light is on. I'm terrified to drive it. Trying to hold out until payday.

9. I learned that I actually have a green thumb. (Well.. it's a beige thumb... but..) My peppers are sprouting. My lavender is blooming. The jasmine is in full bloom... the sweet mint is flourishing... I could go on and on... I am very proud. My tomato plant is growing tall. I assume I could try to make homemade salsa.

10. One word - Moscato. Oh how I have missed wine.

11. Did I mention I have a date tonight? lol

12. I don't think men should drink pink drinks. Period. (Watching the "Newly Wed" reality show. These guys were toasting before a wedding, and they were drinking pink drinks. Seriously?)

13. I tried cutting my kitten's fingernails - I got maybe 7 done. He flipped out. Maybe I will leave that to the professionals.

14. Speaking of number 13 - I think Zen kitty hates me now. Oops.

15. Blinds. In an apartment. Seem to be a romper room for cats. Omg.

16. Speaking of said cat - He's old enough to be neutered next weekend. I think I need to go ahead and set that up, before he gets to the mature stage and begins to mark territory.

17. I think I figure out how to keep the cats off of the dining room chairs. Yes... I'm a cat whisperer. Well.. drat.. there they go again!

18. BEACH. It's time, wouldn't you say?

19. Last night, I got to hang out (after the opening) for a little while with some crazy talented artists from Atlanta. I stood there listening to these people talk, the way they see the world... the talent.. the creativity... just unbelievable.

20. Finally... Did I mention I have a date? hahahhahaa...

Redirection + Focus

Tonight I realized something very important... it happened as I was sitting in the dark, using the laser pointer with my two cats. 

Salvatore and Zen Kitty were zeroed in on the red dot flittering to and fro on the floor. They were focused and they were fierce.

I need a little of that focus. 
Or rather, perhaps I need to refocus.

When HE left a few weeks back (Omg... has it been a month already?) I found myself going through various stages of grief. Stage 1: I was completely shattered. I felt like my heart had been ripped from my chest and left out on Gray Hwy for the vultures to come and pick apart. But somehow.. that did NOT happen. I kept breathing... I was going  to go on a trip to Chicago - that got canceled. I was asked to sign the divorce papers. Boom. Boom. Boom. Just disappointment after disappointment. But I kept breathing.

Stage 2: (Which was probably Week 2,) I found myself laughing again. I had a friend over for margaritas (something I never thought I would ever be able to do, since I lived with a Muslim who did not allow alcohol in the house.) Yet I did it. I bought and fried bacon in my cast iron skillet. (Another luxury that was not allowed before.) I even went out and adopted two kittens. I did the things I needed to do. I reorganized the apartment, I reorganized my life.

And I kept breathing.

Stage 3: See if I can get back out there. Sooo.. I toyed with the idea of going on a few dates. I signed up for a dating website, flirted back and forth with at least 1/2 a dozen guys. Had a few phone calls, a few promises for dinner or coffee....  I was beginning to feel beautiful again. I was beginning to feel confident again... I was beginning to think THIS could be fun again...

Stage 4: Tonight. What in the hell am I doing? I deleted the dating site profile. I rearranged my closet. I rearranged the pantry. I went shopping for some "grooming" items: Foot bath wash - Foot exfoliate - Facial masks - hair color - new hair brush, etc. 

Something hit me...

I'm not ready for any of this. So I found that I stopped and I felt sad for just a moment. I have spent the past few weeks praying for HIM. Then suddenly, I get a text msg from him - and it was kind. It was closure. I found out, after all of the speculation, he is more than likely moving back to Egypt. There was no thing to get citizenship. There was no other woman. He just feels like he just did not fit in here: with my life, with his life - with any of it. The man I fell in love with is lost. He needs to go home and re-gather himself. 

We actually talked on the phone this evening. Even though it was just for a few minutes. It was kind. There was forgiveness on both ends. At the end of the day... it was just too much and we were just too different. 

 I've been feeling a little like this bird for the past 6 years. Trying to do my thing and keep someone else afloat, but all the while... who was holding me up? I know the answer to that question... it was God. No doubt in my mind. You may say it is the universe or some random law of this or that... whatever it is.. that power that keeps us all going every day had my back.

There were some prayers answered this week.. and I think as I move into Stage 5 and refocus my attention on someone who has needed me all along (umm.. the answer to this riddle is.. ME) I needed these prayers to come to fruition. I got a raise. My ex (for whom I have loved dearly) has given me closure, and I know now.. without one shadow of a doubt, I'm not where I would like to be physically and emotionally to allow someone else in.. not yet at least. I need to regroup.. refocus.

I still have some places I need to go all by myself.

 Then.. and only then... the door will open as it always had. So this last chapter, this last decade, with my Egyptian King is over... there are new lands to discover, new wild and crazy adventures to begin.. and I am sure... the right door with lead me to the right partner for life.

Things I Have Learned This Week

This week was FULL of lessons...

1. I clearly have issues with being locked in movie theater seats. I want to be able to jet out if I need to. 

2. Late night movies = Nicole dozing off. Uh oh... sign I am getting OLD.

Movies with old friends from High School. The Great Gatsby was really good! We caught the 10pm movie and left about midnight. I was sleeeeeepy. LOL

3. The pain is there. It is. Only when I stop to think about it, I feel sad. But I am able to recover quickly. I do miss him. But I am happy to be moving on. Bitter sweet, you know?

4. I crave naps. Is this a 40 year old thing?

5. I am totally into spring/summer skirts. 

6. Citrus scents seems to be my signature scent this year. I go through phases. Last year it was "spa." The year before was "fresh linen." 

7. I have become addicted to oranges. New thing for me.

8. Dating sites - Ha! Oh... this piece is fun. I joined one for fun... just to see if I could get a few dinners and just see what it is all like out there again. I crack up when I read a man's profile: I am looking for a beautiful, fit, intelligent, independent woman who is not looking for a relationship. Ha! Then you look at their profile and they are this bald billy bob chubby bubba with a high school education. Lord. Have. Mercy.

9. Cats. Are supposed to be independent. My cats? needy - needy - needy.

I sit on this side of the couch and he blocks my ability to stretch out!

Or they BOTH block my ability to stretch out.

Or he literally hugs my leg. ;-)

10. Most of my friends are going through CRAZY custody battles. At least 4 people I know are in the middle of crazy court battles. WOW. You guys keep my eyes open! (PS - Makes for fascinating stories!)

11. Not a fan of the iced coffee from Keurig. I think Starbucks will keep the crown on this.

12.  My garden is growing quite nicely! Peppers are sprouting, jasmine is blooming - and I am feeling like it has healed my soul!

My instacollage I made!

13. I took stock of my one year at the Museum. Here is just a look at the promotions I accomplished in print, not including all of the broadcasting opportunities! A think it was a job well done! There were several national, regional and local placements!

14. Mother's Day went well... clearly my dad was invested. He decided to relax in my study while I entertained the ladies. ;-)

 15. I got a fantastic gift from my wildly talented friend, Shannon! To help me celebrate my "new" last name - she sent me a new business card holder (for my NEW name on my cards) and a tumbler with my full name initials. 

 

16. Kitty Claws. Little kittens come at you claws out. O.M.W.

  17.

Was good to see some old friends last weekend!

 18. I'm sick of celebrity reporters and producers giving couples nick names. No more Brangelina. No more Bennifer.

Blech.. Blech.. Blech.

19. You know.. there are several people in my family on both sides that have suffered from and died from ovarian cancer. I had some issues with cervical. Soooo... with all of this talk of Angelina's preventative measures... should I get tested for the BRCA gene test? I had a hysterectomy but left my ovaries. Hmmm...

20. Finally.... WOW. A week feeling mostly good. :-)

What to Write?

I'm sitting here trying to decide what to write about.

I was skimming the past week's blog entries and I realized everything was so superficial. Blah blah blah.

I think in this next transition I have a choice, I can give you the high points, or the low points. Trust me, there are low points, but I don't feel the need to open up quite that much online about how vulnerable I feel. 

Which is completely true.

I feel vulnerable.

I am more sensitive.

I am more cautious.

I think this is normal. I realize that this too shall pass, but for now, it's real and it's happening. 

It happens when I pray. It happens when I slow down long enough to allow my thoughts to catch up with me. I'm a solver, and when I stop long enough to quit solving the problem, my more vulnerable side rears its ugly head.

BUT.. I am feeling more happiness than usual. That piece has tilted a little more on the scale, a little more in my favor. Before it was sadness on the heavy side, and happiness from time to time. Now it's happiness on the heavy side and sadness from time to time.

I'm handling it all. I'm doing the best I can. 


With all of that being said, and really nothing at ALL being said.. I will close. 

That's just where I am..;-)

 

Taking Stock

It's easy to go up and down when SO many life changes have taken place. You would think I was trying my best to live up to my blog title!

As I was napping with my two kitty cats (yes, they actually lay all around me/on me and we sleep together,) I woke up and began thinking about how different my life is now. I was trying to imagine just one year ago. Where was I one year ago? The beauty is, I can answer that question, because I document it all here. Funny thing is, I wrote a piece called Why I Love Macon. Then I realized where was I at my last birthday? Which would have been only a few months before the "Why I Love Macon" post. I skipped back to February 2012 and.. well.. CLICK HERE. I was unemployed. My then husband lived in Los Angeles and I was sleeping on a couch.

Look what has happened in just 15 months.

My life has completely flipped upside down.

But I think that whole journey... that whole process.. was fate and completely a part of my story. Yes, I have lost so much in the past two years, but I have also gained opportunity, something that seemed out of reach for so long. The sun is peeking through the clouds, I'm jovial and silly, and all thanks be to God - I have hope.

Where are you at these days?

Best Bet

What is better than getting off work, going to the grocery store and walking out with the one thing you want? Nothing.

What I mean by this - I wanted salsa for dinner.

Now I have salsa and chips. Done.

I'd don't have to cook for anyone.

It's awesome!.

I don't think divorce was supposed to be this much fun?!

To be honest, the only time I get a little choked up is when I pray. It's not so much a prayer of sadness or loneliness, it is more so when I pray for him. I do. I pray for people who have wronged me, and it hurts to think of what I put up with. 

Outside of that, I'm doing pretty darn good. I'm busy at work, busy with the kitties, busy with my "other activities"... everything.

I have a busy weekend lined up - I have to work Saturday and Sunday we celebrate the museum founder's 80th birthday. Busy. Busy. Busy.

I was even asked out on a date, but I don't think I am ready for that. Not sure how that would work.. and honestly, I don't think we have too much in common. When he said, "I mean.. anyone who votes for Obama is an idiot..." well.. all I could do was giggle. Yep. 

There you have it. A southern girl surrounded by conservative billy bobs. Not off to a good start. lol

No worries.. I have a wonderful book calling my name... good friends just a phone call away and a bed just screaming for me to get some sleep!

Adventures of Zen Kitty

I was laying on my couch, watching Long Island Medium... wondering whether or not a medium is for real... when I notice Salvatore is pacing the kitchen. I finally get up and take my empty glass to the kitchen... 

I hear this odd scratching sound, sort of like mice in the walls.

I look around and open the cabinets, just waiting to see something horrid, figuring that's why Salvatore was pacing... then I hear the mewing..

"Meow... Meow." 

Me: "Zen Kitty? Salvatore?"

"Mew... Mew.. meow.. *scratch scratch scratch*"

Then suddenly I locate where the sound is coming from.. the base boards in the kitchen.

"Zen kitty? Where are you?"

"Mew.. Mew.."

Then I see this tiny arm try to reach me. "Oh My God, Zen Kitty... what have you gotten yourself into?"

I put my hand into the hole and realized he was stuck, and how he got into the baseboard of the cabinet was a mystery.

I got down on all fours and noticed that there were two nails keeping this one board attached to the cabinets. I jumped up and yelled, "I'm coming for you Zen Kitty.. don't go anywhere."

I anxiously run to the utility room to look for my screw driver. No dice. I looked in the kitchen drawers - NOTHING. I am raising my voice saying over and over, "Oh no.. oh no. Zen baby.. I'm coming sweet heart," while the the little kitty kept trying to pull himself out.

I grab my phone and tried to think of who would be awake and who could help me. I called my friend Margaret first, thinking okay.. she seems very resourceful, maybe she could help. Again - no dice. She did not answer. I finally got through to my sister...

Here I was, laying on the floor of the kitchen, pouring sweat, using a pair of scissors to try to unscrew this one nail, and the phone is on the floor in front of me on speaker. 

Heather: What's going on?
Me: Zen kitty is stuck in the base boards. I need help.
Heather: What?
Me: I need a screw driver... I can't.. I'm trying... Oh Zen Kitty.. I'm coming..
Heather: What kind of screw driver do you need?
Me: I don't know *panic in my voice* I just don't know.
Heather: A Phillips Head? A Flat Head?
Me: It looks like a cross or star
Heather: Okay.. a Phillips Head. I'll be there in a few minutes.

She hangs up the phone. I keep using the scissors, trying like crazy to unscrew the board.. and suddenly, one nail came out! One to go.

It WOULD NOT BUDGE.

I decided to pull out my Wonder Woman powers and I RIPPED the board out - the strip at the bottom came off, the nails fell out and Zen Kitty was free.

I picked him up, pointed my finger at him and yelled, "You know curiosity killed the cat. You could have died!"

Finally my sister arrives and she repairs the base board, and covered the hole. Her new name should be MacGyver. She was able to take the cover of a composition book, two nails, a dish rag and my zebra print duck tape and cover the hole.

I continued to scold Zen Kitty.. and she kept turning around and adding, 'But Zen - she loves you."

Finally - she finished and left. Zen kitty went into time out.

Title: Good Times

I am determined to keep this momentum. I feel good - I'm laughing - I'm living.
If you've been following for a while, you know I believe that music is the best therapist. It's cheaper too! ;-)

I created a NEW playlist on my Iphone and I am playing it out.

I will share the top 5 songs getting some serious play time in my car! All for creating the best-mood-ever!

Enjoy.. and tell me which song is your favorite? 

PS - All of these songs - I love the beat, I love the lyrics.. everything!

  Oh what the heck... here's one more from the list... Best post divorce songs! :-)

Things I Have Learned This Week

1. Young cats, especially two young cats = 2 toddlers in the house.

2. One of the most important things you can ever do is become aware of your non-negotiables.

3. Patience is key to breaking in a shy shelter cat.

4. I realize that I enjoy being alone. The ability to control my own schedule is priceless.

5. I enjoy having a flexible schedule. It's very important to me.

6. I am shocked at the behavior of single men these days. SHOCKED. Call me old fashioned, but do you seriously expect me to respond to lewdness? Maybe that works for some girls, not for me.

7. I am excited to be able to have alcohol in the house, but honestly, I've gotten so used to not drinking, I'm not very good at it anymore. Nor do I really enjoy it. (Maybe I have to be in the right atmosphere.)

8.  One thing is very clear - I will not allow anyone to "control" any aspect of my life again. Sure, that is the baggage I will carry for the rest of my life.

9. I need to invest in some "cooking for one" cookbooks or recipes.

10. I honestly feel like the luckiest girl in the world. :-)

Cats - Dates and Life in Between

The cats. Omg... the shy little fur balls have become demanding toddlers. I came in last night, super tired from a few long days at work and there they were... waiting... to head bop, swirl my feet and neck, and claw me to death.

Both of them are very affectionate, which is a little un-cat like. I suppose living in a shelter would turn animal into a needy baby. I am looking forward to the day that we can all cohabitate without so much love love love. For example, as I type this, the big kitty is "kneading" my back, meowing, waiting for me to turn around and pet him.

It's adorable.. but demanding.

Speaking of demanding...

Men.

Sheesh.

Sooo... in the past week, I have had some interesting offers. 

Ha.

One guy has sent me text messages asking sooooo many questions. I am just not comfortable opening up to anyone right now. Then he sends the kiss of death, "Did you think of me today??" WTF. No, dude... I did not. 

Then there is the Army guy who (and this one is a doozy,) sends me a picture of his penis. I am sooooo not kidding.  Yes, you read that right. Ummm..... No.

Is this what I have to look forward to? 

Yeah.. not interested. 

It is interesting to sort of put yourself back out there, but I am sooooo not looking for anything. I just want to have a good time, maybe grab a bite to eat, not be traumatized by some one's penis picture.

I cannot make this stuff up.

*gag*

The weekend is upon us! Yay!  There is so much I need to do around here - time to clean/clean/clean. I do plan to go out tonight with some friends...

So yeah, life is silly right now. I'm laughing again. I'm in a good place. All is well with my soul.. outside of the whole picture thing... OMG.

Adventures in...

Here we are...

Me. Myself and I.

All is well work wise, life wise and everywhere else in between.

The babies?

Just super!

My conversation with HIM? Easy going.
The pain? Basically gone.

The new friendships? Building.

Flirting? Like riding a bicycle.

The sense of freedom? Exhilarating.

All is well with my soul.

And so it begins...

No doubt, this was an eventful weekend, sans the trip to Chicago. I ended up having my niece come spend the weekend with me (no surprise there,) and I finally checked one of the post divorce items off of my list - I got a cat.

Not just one cat, two cats!

Remember the post earlier this week with the picture of a little black kitty named Oreck?

This is Oreck now.. sitting on my niece's lap. His name is Zen Kitty... or Zen for short. He is a beautiful 9 week old ball of fun. He is very well behaved, uses his litter box like a champ, eats his food and plays like a healthy baby boy. When I leave the room and he realizes it, he comes running to find me making these little squeal noises. When he finally discovers me, you can hear his little purr box roaring.

While at the shelter, I discovered another ball of fun - Mr. Johnnie. This fat, orange tub of love, began swirling my legs, claiming me for his own.

Mr. Johnnie was in the shelter for about 11 months and is a little over one. He is very sweet, loves belly rubs and following me around as if he is my protector. However, he is super shy and has not taken to the food I bought yet. It took him about 24 hours to come out from under my dresser, but now that he has, he is quite territorial of me. 

BTW  - I changed his name to Salvatore. He needed a regal name.

So there you have it - me and two cats. Autumn was a super big help for me getting these two acclimated.

On to my personal life - I sign the papers this afternoon. Then it's done. He and I are on good terms (finally.) He is leaving me everything, no strings attached. That includes all of the brand new furniture he bought us. All is well... all is well.

I bought bacon this weekend. Ha!
I rescued two cats. Ha!
I had a glass of moscato in my home. Ha!
Trifecta of a new life.

Now.. about being single. 

O.M.G. 

The most RANDOM people have been asking me out on a date, and the ink is not dry on the papers yet. Holy moly. 

FYI:
If you are over 50, forget about it.
If you are under 38, forget about it.

Sheesh.

Good times, right?

Comforting the Soul

It's a lovely day when you can have it all to yourself!

I actually scheduled one of my vacation days for today, but since I am not going to Chicago like I originally planned, I have to fill it up with soul enriching activities.

Like:

1. Buying the supplies to adopt a cat.
2. Visiting my friends and shopping at Olive Forge Herb Farm
3. Signing Divorce Papers

Yeah.. number 3 is a doozy, but.. it will close out this entire painful era for me. 

I am totally on the emotional mend. It was touch and go there last week, but this week God has granted me an amazing amount of strength and inner peace. I am not sure if this will last or if it is just my mind's way of protecting me, but I honestly am okay.

It's hard to imagine a life without the person you selected to grow old with, but at the same time, I do love possibility and now there is plenty of time for that.

I'm fine. I'm laughing again. I'm staying busy. I am okay.

 

Adding a member to the Thurston Household

No... don't get too excited. I did not conceive a child, nor am I adopting or even hosting anymore exchange students.

But I am going to right a wrong. 

The night my ex entered my home, right after his flight from Cairo, he immediately began to complain about my baby boy Lestat. The SAME cat he insisted I get in the first place. He said to me, "I only wanted you to get the cat to keep you company, until I got there." Then he proceeded to tell me that it was him or the cat, I politely told him to go home.

Well.. in America, husbands and wives fight like this all the time. Typically one or the other spouse concedes, and usually no one would even consider getting rid of their pet. That cat represented everything that would set the tone for our marriage. I held resentment. He thought I was a terrible person for not "listening" to her husband. 

Things slowly went downhill from there. It was not like we had a few weeks to be blissful, the beautiful baby boy I had caused such a riff in our relationship, that it was just the catalyst for things to come.

Sooo.. he went to live with a friend. Then I ended up taking him to my parents home, where he is very content. I would never dream of uprooting him again, when he is so happy there.

But there are a couple of things I learned from that situation:

1. Whoever loves me, MUST LOVE CATS.
2. Never be bullied into abandoning your animals... because Lestat would have stayed by my side, while HE did not.
3. This too shall pass...

I am getting a cat. 
Yes sir/ma'am. It's happening.

Unfortunately, my trip to Chicago was cancelled. Leanne is terribly sicks, as well as her husband, so there was no way they could entertain, nor would I want to show up, pick up some germies and bring them back. Instead, we will try again this summer. The bummer is I lost my ticket. Literally. I paid somewhere around $230 something for them. I can get a credit of $197.10 (the actual ticket price.) BUT - I have one year to use the credit, AND it would cost me $150 to use it, then an additional $50 to Cheap tickets. Sort of defeats the purpose. Soooo.. I am out $200. THAT is the worst part of it all.... I know one day I will see Leanne and her friends and family, so that I am not worried about. It just sucks to be out money. I learned a valuable lesson- BUY REFUNDABLE TICKETS.

The BRIGHT SIDE of this.. the money I would have spent in Chicago, etc, I am going to spend on a NEW BABY KITTY. YES!!!! Sooo.. I have an appointment with the Houston County Humane Society. I originally saw one in Milledgeville that I thought I wanted, BUT.. they never got back with me, so I emailed about another cat, and sure enough.. they responded! I have an appointment to meet the kitty on Saturday. Sooo.. I'm heading to Warner Robins. Of course I'll have to buy all of the goodies for the baby before hand. Scratchy posts, feathery toys, little balls, litter box, food. The cats in HOCO are spayed or neutered, have their shots and are micro chipped all for $125. Score!

I might get two! Crazy?... I hope not.

PLUS - I'll have to pay a deposit here at my apt. But that's okay! I figure most cats live 18 years or so. I will have this baby up into my 60s... WOW. Life long friend, for sure.

Let me show you Oreck. (Which I am TOTALLY changing his name..)

 

The other kitty I was looking at was named Lotis.. (which I like that name.) However, they have not gotten back with me.

Here is her picture:

 

Who knows what I will end up with!

YAY! A black cat... finally!!