I don't know how this is in other parts of the United States, but down here... we have a lot of, well.. let's see...
Snubbing.
Snobbery.
Good old-fashioned turning up of the nose.
*it cracks me up every time.*
As a matter of fact, I saw it today. My Rotary Club was the host for a benefit for my museum. How cool is that? As it were, I was standing toward the back (which is sort of the front, when you first enter the room,) and in walks most of the guests. Three clubs were joining forces today, as well as some heavy hitters from around town (special guests of sorts,) and as the marketing chicky for the museum, I was standing toward the back greeting our sponsors and board of trustees.
As I am standing there, chatting it up with some other people, an acquaintance walks up and says hello. He had with him a friend/co-worker/what-have-you who sort of stood a little behind him. She was a beautiful girl, fairly young/blond and possibly affluent. I happen to glance her way to welcome her and introduce myself when she did the classic (and I am so not exaggerating this,) turned her nose up and looked the other way. I just smiled, and turned to her friend and kept on talking.
After the event was over, the friend came by (with her,) and asked for my card to email me some items. As I was handing it to him I took a closer look at her (of course she was not looking at me..) but I noticed what I knew all along- She felt out of place. Here was this beautiful girl, surrounded by influential people in our community and ... really.. she was so unsure of herself.
Her defense was classic - snub 'em so they don't snub you.
I actually felt sorry for her.
Of course I have been snubbed by those less insecure than her. I remember walking downtown one night with some friends and I happened to make eye contact with someone that I find myself in meetings with from time to time. She's very involved with the community and fairly well known, but not originally from here. She looked dead at me, whispered to her friend, and looked away. I saw it so clearly that night, and I just smiled. You see... she finds herself surrounded by people who all behave this way, and I honestly believe (observing her over time,) that she must believe if she behaves this way, then she will fit in with those around her. Again - snobbery, but for different reasons.
Of course I've done my share of snubbing. There are certain people who have wronged me one way or another and sure, I can be the bitchiest of the bitches.Sometimes I will go as so far as to disregard a person.
I have to stop and ask myself, why? It's as clear as the tip of my nose - because I was wronged. Or hurt. So my defense? Hurt back.
Now the truth is, did the blond mean to snub me? Maybe not. Maybe she was overwhelmed and out of her element. Did the other acquaintance mean to snub me? Maybe not. Maybe she was talking about someone else.. or maybe it's because she was dressed (down,) and she's always dressed to the hilt and I caught her on an off day and she did not feel good about herself. Or maybe.. just maybe.. she did not see me.
But the truth is, we all do it.... and in the end.... we all need to be a little kinder to each other.
As a college student, I would sometimes get a little intimidated by people who would not acknowledge me. As I got older, I sort of would laugh when someone behaved that way. Why? Because the end result was always the same - these people were typically out of their element and incredibly insecure. I've always felt sorry for people like that. Why? They are missing out so much.
Have you ever been snubbed? Do you snub? If so, why or why not?
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9 comments:
Have I been snubbed-of course-did it hurt-of course. It takes me years but if I finally have had it with someone-I don't snub them-I just ignore their existence-and go on with my life. I don't talk about them with others-they are just not there anymore!
Snubbing is NOT good, but unfortunately it happens all too much these days.
Bobbie Anne
It's so unfortunate- it happens everywhere, and we, as a society have allowed it. I pray that one day, we'll start loving one another and be inclusive, rather than exclusive.
I really liked that you pointed out that the entire issue may not have been about you. We are all quick to take offense often when there was none intended. Your co-worker may not have seen you at the party, the person that doesn't speak to you or answer you may not have seen or heard you.
Sadly, I think we all make it about us at times, especially when we are out of our element or feeling down.
Again, I loved your post.
Sherryl
http://www.simplysherryl.com
I think this post says a lot about you as a person - you are just so nice.
You think that maybe this blonde felt out of place and low in confidence. She may just have been a spoilt brat, so over-sure of herself that she felt that she didn't need to speak to you. I like that you didn't think like this though - that's nice. We need more nice people in the World like you.
Visiting from Thirsty for comments - thanks for linking up.
You should get a whole mess of comments out of this. I have a variation of this conundrum, "Why would someone dislike you for no reason?" and why does it bother me. lol. Have a good day.
Snubbing...why yes I can say I do it to my husbands...brother's...girlfriend with good reason, not always just when I can't handle any more of the insanity that is spouting forth!
Its one thing i hate, people being rude and snubbing is certain rude in my book.
It probably best to feel sorry for her rudeness gets you know where
How rude! I hope you are better than that. Set a good example!
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