Roller Coaster of Fantastic

I call it event hangover. That's what I am suffering from. Maybe it's the adrenaline let down of something you have been working on really hard for a really long time, and then suddenly comes to an end.

If your job does not involve a dash of "theatrics," you may not understand what I am saying.

As a kid, I spent most of my formative years performing. Either in ballet or theater or writing or whatever. There would be the nervous audition, the pain-staking hours of rehearsal and blocking and planning, followed by the performance where everyone would show up, applaud, and go about their lives. Month in and month out, my life was full of highs with lots of praise and preparation, followed by lows .. where the applause fades and the release of adrenaline just oozes out of your blood stream.

Then I went into television. Same thing. Except now, there were these fantastic time constraints and daily applause AND hundreds of thousands of people in the audience. I would come in, arrange the stories, write the stories, sit in the booth and watch magic happen. Sure, it felt like a performance and in many ways it was.. but the difference is, it made a HUGE impact on people's lives. How do you come down from that?

Now.. it's a different game. One that involves many different puzzle pieces. Planning, negotiating, delegating, a dash of performance followed by applause and possibly the changing of a life. THAT is powerful and equally intoxicating.

I just had 90 straight days of super highs, super success, and now.. I wait for the next hoorah. It's like I am going through withdrawls.

It's like a drug - you crave that manic organization, the begging and pleading for donor dollars, the hand shakes and smiles and promises of, "Yes.. Yes.. I'll support your cause," and then the spotlight, and the regurgitation of information (your lines,) and suddenly.. the magic happens: people show up, they applaud, they learn, they donate, they revel in all of the art and culture... then it's over.

You sit, feet aching, playing the scenes over and over in your head.. hoping you smiled at the right person, shook the right hands, traded the right business cards...

Then you wait..

And do it all over again..